Now if only someone would make a site like this to teach us French, or remind us to do our laundry or something. That would be so sweet (and make us vastly more productive, too!).

· Globes For The Globe (globesfortheglobe.com)

To really rate high, a lube should be thick but not too thick, long lasting, easy to clean up, and pleasing to the taste buds. Oh, and it's also good if it's glycerin and paraben-free—you know, so it won't give you some kind of crazy infection.

For years, Maximus has been my gold standard lube: it's water-based, glycerin-free, and has never done me wrong in the bedroom (except, sadly, when it's gotten in my mouth—the taste leaves more than a little to be desired). But now that I've discovered Good Clean Love, even Maximus has lost a little of its luster.

Manufactured by a woman-run company based in Eugene, Oregon (also the manufacturers Babeland's organic lube, Naked), Good Clean Love lube is made of all-natural materials (aloe! Cinnamon sticks!), and is free of parabens and petrochemicals. Which, quite frankly, wouldn't mean much to me if it weren't also an amazingly good lube.

Yes, kids, sometimes the hippies are right: though deodorant rocks are a bit of an epic fail, Good Clean Love may just be the best lube I've ever used. Thick yet fluid, delightfully long lasting, and, best of all, with a flavor that actual tastes okay, Good Clean Love passes all my tests with flying colors. Whatever your style, whatever your pleasure, Good Clean Love is great way to decrease the friction and make your love — or at least your lust — sustainable.

· Good Clean Love (goodcleanlove.com)
· Buy Good Clean Love (babeland.com)

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Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

There were four parts to my kit: a Babeland massage candle (to get things warmed up nice and naturally), a bottle of Emerita OH Warming Lubricant (to keep the heat going), Mamba condoms (to keep you from getting, uh ... you know), and, best of all, a Laya Spot vibrator (for when you need a little extra kick). All products in the kit (with the obvious exception of the Laya Spot) are all-natural, with no animal testing or animal-derived ingredients.

I started off my evening with the massage candle, lighting it with the Babeland-branded matches that came with the kit. (A nice touch, I must say.) As the scented soy wax heats up and melts, it transforms into a warm massage oil. Though the oil felt nice at first, it quickly became sticky, leaving a less than sexy residue on my skin.

Next I checked out the lube. As a girl with a bit of experience in the fine arts of handjobbery and butt fuckery, I consider myself something of a lube snob: too often, artificial lubes are too thin, dry out too fast, or just taste really bad (an important consideration if you happen to switch to some oral action after you've lubed up your partner's privates). Surprisingly, Emerita was none of these things. It had a pleasing thickness, lasted quite a while, and tasted pretty good (at least by lube standards). Though I was hesitant about the advertised warming action—apparently generated by cinnamon bark—it turned out to be surprisingly pleasant, if a bit shortlived. During sex, the warming action fizzled out pretty quickly; though it was certainly nice while it lasted. [Note: Though my Eco-Sexy kit came with the OH lube, Babeland's website advertises the kit as coming with Emerita Natural Lubricant, so you might end up with a slightly different configuration.]

As for the Mamba condoms, it's nice to know that the non-profit that produces them is "15 times more stringent" about their testing than any other condom company in the world, they were, well, condoms. The latex was non-irritating, they didn't break, and really, that's all there is to say about them.

Finally, the clear crown jewel of the kit: the Laya Spot vibe. Small yet sensuous, the Laya Spot conforms to your curves while fitting into the palm of your hand. The easily accessible controls, which fall right under your fingers when your hand rests on the vibe, allow you to guide your body through six levels of vibration, as well as three distinct pulse patterns. For something so small, the Laya Spot rocks quite hard—I had no idea two AAA batteries could produce so much power.

A note to the phthalatephobic: the Laya Spot is made of elastomer, a soft, hypoallergenic material that's phthalate-free, and an excellent alternative to jelly rubber. However, it's important to remember that elastomer is slightly porous and cannot be disinfected so, nice as this toy is, it shouldn't be shared with any friends (no matter what they told you in kindergarten about sharing.) The Laya Spot is waterproof and can be cleaned with soap and water.

Overall, I was pleased with the kit. The products are high quality and complement each other nicely. Whether you're looking to spice up your next Earth Day or just make your love life a bit more organic, the Eco-Sexy kit is a great way to green your bedroom.

· Buy the Eco-Sexy Kit (babeland.com)

· Environmental Refugee (environmentalrefugee.org, via Art Nudes)

Previously: Porn Wars: Save A Tree, Destroy A Family

· This girl's real name isn't really Thais Wiggers, is it? We guess hot chicks can call themselves whatever they want. (doubleviking.com)

· Big surprise ... this whole Justice Department firing a bunch of attorneys kerfuffle (that's right, we said it) has something to do with porn. Warning: Lots of words ahead. (avn.com)

· The chairman of Atlanta's public transportation unit gets busted for having sex in an airport bathroom. What? The subway wasn't good enough for him? (associatedcontent.com)

· The Southampton Police Department forgot to mention to its employees that being a police officer does not mean you get to have sex with prostitutes in the back of your squad car. Sorry for the confusion. (officer.com)

· Some guy has a technical solution to keep the internets porn away from the children, as if we didn't enough trouble making the boobies appear on our magic computer box. (arstechnica.com)

· How much do you love trees? Enough to pose naked with them in the name of art? We would be treehuggers too, but the bark makes our skin itchy. (insidebayarea.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Obviously, we've been crushing on Keeley Hazell pretty hard for a while now (maybe you noticed?), but after hearing this latest news about our favorite Page Three girl of all time we think we just might be in love for real: not only is she beautiful and buxom and has that adorable accent, she is singlehandedly going to save the planet! If you don't believe us, just ask UK Conservative Party leader David Cameron, who recently named Keeley one of his top 10 "environment heroes"—alongside such notables as Sir David Attenborough, Prince Charles, and Mr. Global Warming himself, Al Gore—thanks to her brave stand on energy consumption that was published in The Sun (next to one of her trademark topless photo, natch) last fall. She's also traded in her car for a high-mileage scooter, buys only organic food, and lights her apartment exclusively with energy-saving bulbs when not enforcing her nighttime "candlelight-only" policy. (Rowr!) Her boobs aren't just spectacular to look at, they're a force for good—and we know that as long as the planet is clutched tightly to Keeley's caring breast, then Mother Earth is well protected indeed.

· "Page Three Girl becomes face of green movement" (independent.co.uk - thanks Ian)
· Green Week: Keeley Hazell's ten green tips (thesun.co.uk, 10/06)

Previously: How To Buy A Green Sex Toy, More Fucking for Forest, pFARM: Biotech Fetish Farming, Happy Earth Day, Fleshbot's Exhaustive Keeley Hazell Coverage

· These vintage pictures help explain how stewardesses (sorry, flight attendants) got such sexy reputations. Who wouldn't be attracted to chicks who know how to fly? (thrillingwonder.blogspot.com)

Those pictures must have been taken in a more innocent time before flight attendants started masturbating on sleeping passengers. Maybe there's such a thing as the skies being too friendly sometimes? (twincities.com - thanks Scott)

· Gisele Bundchen has racked up a few frequent flier miles herself, which is why she's an international supermodel. And her cover photos sure beat flipping through a Sky Mall catalogue. (gorillamask.net)

· A x-rated fax from Kylie Minogue to her former boyfriend is up for sale on eBay, which we personally find very upsetting. No one should ever have to have long-distance sex via fax machine. (dailystar.co.uk, via wired.com)

· Let's get this straight: asexuals aren't interested in having sex with anyone, ever? And people think we're the freaks. (abcnews.go.com)

· A bit of advice: do not attempt to light your matches on an actual woman's ass. Although, we might be able to direct you to a club where you can try that for a small fee. (random-good-stuff.com)

· Learn more about having eco-friendly sex. Don't worry, it doesn't involve doing it on a compost heap or anything like that. (canada.com, via Fark)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives