Learn more about working on a sex farm after the jump.

Huntington Beach's Extreme Restraints carries a lot of things folk have adapted for bedroom shenanigans that are now in use in other disciplines, including ranching, such as the Large Shock Prod.

The company buys the zapper from veterinary supply outlets as the Magic Shock Prod.

"So the actual name of this product sounds pornier than te one you've given to it?" I asked the warehouse manager.

"Yes."

"And you haven't gussied it up with cyberskin and pretty ribbons?" I probed.

"Nope. There's someone using one of those on a farm right now."

The $86 prod takes four "C" batteries (included!) and delivers a jolt that really gets one moving - at sex time or any time!^TM

"What might also go in the gift set?" I asked.

"Well, the Humbler is good for that," he said, explaining the Dark Ages-vintage ball-squeezing device. "You get someone in the Humbler, he doesn't get up fast, so you have more of an opportunity to zap him."

· Extreme Restraints (extremerestraints.com; buy the Large Shock Prod here)
· Large Animal Health (thestockmarketcountrystore.com)

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Previously: MATK Archive

So you can understand why our jaws dropped in amazement at this "Controlled Sensations" computer operated bondage station. Not content to merely build a sturdy table for BDSM play and then rig it up with half a dozen or so vibrating and electro-stim devices, the whole thing is also wired up to a laptop computer that can control the entire buzzing and shocking experience, even running preprogrammed erotic scenarios. It's billed as the perfect gift for the "lazy top" who loves to mess with their willing slave, but doesn't have the energy to do much more than push a few buttons. We can't even imagine the effort that went into designing and constructing this funhouse contraption (even the highly-detailed online instructions are exhausting) but we tip our hat to the evil mastermind who was clever enough to pull it off. We think this is one household gadget where you definitely should read manual.

· Controlled Sensations: A Computer Controlled Bondage (tpe.com, via Slashdong)

Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Electrical Silicone Cock Ring Set, Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Electrosex Plug (Or, Fun With 'Trodes!)

Speaking of clarity through perspective, it seems like history will reveal that a lot of novel ideas eventually wound up draped around someone's nads. What might Betsy Ross have done with the flagpole? Did the team that invented the Saturn V rocket use figure models? Did the guy who came up with Marmite ever stick his cock in it? We have no doubt that the minds behind transcutaneal nerve stimulation (TENS) hardware devoted at least some thought to peen electrification.

It is mistakenly believed that the cock ring is shaft-centric, when in fact it can also be used (and is primarily used) at the base of the testicles. So imagine first a thin ring around that area and then imagine shooting some voltage through it. It is understandable that this might make otherwise sexually adventurous people throw up, but for electrosex adherents it's a no-brainer.

We sent a willing couple home with this set, which included electrodes and two rings. The TENS controller is sold separately.

Our subjects, a gay couple who described themselves as "pretty vanilla", were at first apprehensive (and had in fact contacted us about another product) but, upon first trying out the electrified cock ring on a wrist, determined that with one person controlling the stimulation, it would be like "a blowjob from a robot."

What was surprising to us was that a couple wanted to try this product rather than an individual, but our subjects couldn't imagine it any other way, especially afterward.

"'Electricity' really underlines the word 'Control'," Subject A said (it was Subject A at the controls).

"He's also the one who's obsessive about the dishes," Subject B pointed out.

The verdict came back that the combination of the humming stimulation, the control thereof by a loving partner, and the "weirdness" of the process was intensely gratifying.

"Is flesh to flesh contact now out of the question?" we asked, fearing that electrosex equipment would be to skin-on-skin interactions what Terminators will be to humans.

"No," Subject B (hair not sticking on end) said, "but this might be a birthdays-only-type thing (for him, not me)."

· Buy the Electrical Silicone Cock Ring Set (extremerestraints.com)

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Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

Read more about Extreme Restraints' Electrosex Anal/Vaginal Plug after the gap.

California's Extreme Restraints is a company that does a brisk business in bondage gear and also deals in electrosex equipment with a common theme: each of its products is merely a noirish, Frank Miller-style innovation on existing sex toys. We mentioned them in a recent review of a device that turned your Hitachi Magic Wand into His Dark Materials.

The Electrosex Anal/Vaginal plug looks the part. Though it could just as easily have been painted lavender or even fleshtone, this dense little number is black and gray, and is attached to a Y-cable that plugs into a two-channel Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS) box. Let the games begin, Herr Doctor.

We and everyone associated with this company point out that TENS boxes are prescription devices used by patients in need of pain management and this review should not be construed as a recommendation. But if you have a pain in your vagina....

Our subject is not a very anal person (you should see her car), so she chose to use the TENS box/Plug combo down in front. We asked what the feeling was as opposed to the same thickness of vibrator.

"It feels just a little malevolent in there," she said, and talked about a scene from "The Stand", which reminded us of why we like her.

"The stimulation is more intense and sustained than with a vibrator," she reported, "but I can see why people might get turned off with the elaborate setup."

The elaborate setup is actually just a plug and an adjustment knob, but the presentation does look a little involved.

"Well, you'd also have to deck yourself up in leather and riot gear," she added.

"Oh I see."

· Buy the Plugs and the TENS box (extremerestraints.com)

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Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive