Fleshbot: straight, drunk

Mischa Barton Hangs Out In London

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:10:02 EDT

Mischa Barton may be the cute girl who used to be on that one show, but it's still possible to get up close and really personal with her. You just have to be a paparazzo who is willing to climb into the back seat of a London cab and take a few pictures. That's how you learn really important things like her dress size—or rather, what dress size is maybe a little too big for her teeny-tiny frame and will give you a pretty good glimpse of her left breast. And you thought you weren't going to learn anything fun today!

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Germans are apparently complaining that...

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:25:03 EDT

Germans are apparently complaining that they can't go on vacation to Turkey without the Russians coming down and spoiling everything with their "whores and vodka". Um, aren't whores and vodka pretty much the reason you would go on vacation to begin with? (thelocal.de; thumb and vodka gallery via assexyasitgets.com)

Bartenders like Kat Cross are the reason...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 10:53:26 EST

Bartenders like Kat Cross are the reason we stopped drinking. We spend so much money on tips, there isn't any left for booze! (sexypix.thumblogger.com)

The Victoria's Secret Drinking Game

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 13:45:30 EST

Usually when people flip through the Victoria's Secret catalog, they don't need any extra incentive to stay, um ... interested. But if Brazilian supermodels in tiny lingerie just don't hold your attention, internet model Brooke Marks (who knows a thing or two about filling out a bra herself) has helpfully put together a handy and fun drinking game to help you, Alessandra Ambrosio and the rest of the gang get through the day. We only see one flaw: Catalog shopping is usually a, um ... "solo" activity and drinking alone is the first sign that you might have a problem. On the other hand, if we could somehow get Brooke to invite us over to play, all our problems would be solved.

· Brooke Marks Official Site (brookemarks.com, via sexypix.thumblogger.com)
· See also: Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Videos (egotastic.com)

So, like, did anyone hear the one about...

Fleshbot — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 13:09:53 EST

So, like, did anyone hear the one about the Russian nightclub that was closed down after a senator walked in and caught two chicks giving a blowjob to a Nigerian stripper while the DJ played the national anthem in the background? Neither had we, after seeing the kind of things that go in in Russian nightclubs, we can only assume that counted as a slow evening. (sexisthenewblog.com)

We knew there had to be a perfectly reasonable...

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 12:14:28 EDT

We knew there had to be a perfectly reasonable explanation for a federal judge spending $3,000 at a strip club in two days: He was drunk out of his mind, of course. And you thought he was doing something improper. (9news.com)

The Afflicted Yard: Hot And Drunk In Miami

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 13:09:32 EDT

What happens when you mix hot South Florida models, a set of vampire teeth, a carafe of orange juice. and a Jamaican photographer with a knack for shooting glamorous fashion babes? It probably looks exactly like the latest photo gallery from Peter Dean Rickards and his website The Afflicted Yard. As if you aren't jealous enough of the clear blues skies and sandy beaches of Miami, these toned and taned babes seem to be having way too much fun hanging out and getting drunk on what we assume are very tasty screwdrivers—when they aren't spitting them out of course. Oh, did we forget to mention the spitting? Yeah, these girls are definitely having too much fun.

· Jessica and Lauren (Miami ) (afflictedyard.com, via complex.com)

Previously: Mike Dowson Dresses Down, S Magazine: Smut So Good You'll Think It's Art

Darryl's Hard Liquor and Porn Film Festival

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 13:00:06 EDT

There are two things in life we can't do with out: porn and top-shelf booze. (Or bottom shelf. We're not that picky, actually.) So when we hear about something like Darryl's Hard Liquor and Porn Film Festival, obviously it's going to get our attention. The yearly festival is a double gathering in both Montreal and Toronto that gives aspiring filmmakers a chance to tackle their favorite subject and (we assume) do a lot of drinking. The festival itself isn't until later this year, but they are currently taking submissions for short films under four minutes length. They movies don't actually have to be porn (though we're sure a little T&A wouldn't hurt), they're just looking for funny or interesting takes on sex that hopefully rise above the unintentional comedy you find on PornoTube every day. So if you've got an idea in your brain and a video camera, start working on that script. You might want to stock up on ice, too—someone had to keep all those drinks cold.

· Darryl's Hard Liquor and Porn Film Festival (rules + entry form @ hardliquorandporn.com)
· Hard Liquor and Porn on MySpace (myspace.com)

Previously: 2007 XFANZ Erotica Film Festival, 2007 Seattle Erotic Art Festival, CineKink Kickoff Party, HUMP! 2: Call for Indie Porn Submissions, Barcelona Erotic Film Festival 2006, Berlin Porn Film Festival