Fleshbot: straight, diversions

Adult Mosaic Makes The World A Nicer Place, One Naked Babe At A Time

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 10:55:46 EDT

Do you ever get the feeling that the world would be a much more enjoyable place if it were made entirely of naked chicks? Well, we think about that all the time—and now that we've discovered the Adult Mosaic generator, life just got a whole lot better. Upload a picture and watch in amazement as it is transformed into a mosaic comprised of hundreds of teeny tiny hot babes. For added fun, try making a picture of a naked lady out of a bunch of other pictures of naked ladies and watch the universe fold in upon itself and explode! (adultmosaic.com, thanks Hallie!)

Even though we first linked to it three...

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 11:37:08 EDT

Even though we first linked to it three and a half years ago, we still scored really crappily on this oldie-but-goodie Guess The Celebrity Bra Size game. Either our eyesight is getting worse from staring at the computer all day long, or all this boob watching we've been doing over the past three and a half years still hasn't done anything for our skill set. (keepbusy.net, via myhotbox.blogspot.com)

RubMyClit: The iPhone Finds Its True Purpose

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 13:09:55 EST

Ever since the iPhone was born, pornographers have tried to pitch their wares to the mobile pervert and capitalize on the buzz of this year's must-have gadget. But so far, no one's really taken advantage of the device's super slick touch screen to put you in the action. Well, some enterprising do-gooder has finally figured out how to make iPorn work (sorta) with this little interactive clitoris s(t)imulator game. Since most of you aren't cool enough to have your own (hey, we had to borrow one just to do this post) we figured a demonstration was in order. What to know what ~~$600~~ $400 worth of Steve Jobs' mind grapes gets you? One satisfied cartoon ... and a lot of smudgy fingerprints.

· rubMyClit (rubmyclit.ratethatthing.com)
· Video (and phone) supplied by Nick McGlynn

Moan My IP: Hot Protocol Action

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:33:52 EDT

We see a lot of stupid gimmicky sites where you have to use your mouse to make girls squeal, or play some game that removes her clothes and so on, but we didn't think we've seen anything quite as stupid and gimmicky as MoanMyIP.com. You click on the link, the site checks your IP address, and then a disembodied female voice moans the number back to you as if the very mention of routing packets was enough to set her panties aflame. Pretty dumb, right? Or is it pure genius? After thinking about it for a moment, we though it would be the perfect to link gift to send to your favorite IT guy who probably needs something to take his mind off cron jobs and server loads and maybe give him a cheap laugh in the middle of the day. Plus, the next time he finds your favorite website in your corporate laptop's browser history, you just might have the perfect incentive for him to look the other way.

· Moan My IP (audio warning obviously @ moanmyip.com)

Previously: Grab My Boob (Well, Not Ours, But You Get The Idea)

Random Deviant Sex Act Generator: Laotian Onion Blossoms, Anyone?

Fleshbot — Tue, 08 May 2007 14:10:06 EDT

By this point we expect our exceptionally erudite audience to be less than amused by such infantile gross-out jokes as the Dutch Oven or Cleveland Steamer; surely our collective sensibilities are more attuned to more sophisticated globally-inspired humor by now? Enter this random phrase generator, which is good for at least thirty seconds worth of mild chuckles as you try to determine whether things like the "Kuwaiti Citrus Squeezer" and the "Panamanian Brownie Pan" sound more like unfathomably kinky sex acts or products that somehow never made it into the Williams-Sonoma catalogue, depending how dirty-minded you are; there's even a space where you can describe what the practice might involve, though no one seems to have risen to the challenge yet. Still, might the next Dirt Pipe Milkshake be lurking somewhere in the filthy cupboard of Azerbaijani Sandwich Makers and Scottish Jelly Roll Pans? That's up to you, erudite reader, to decide.

· Aesthetic Apparatus Deviant Sex Act Fabricator (dutchovenmitt.com)
· Thumbnail via Bar Da Rodoviaria: Weird Porn Shit (you've been warned)

Pornocombo Mixer: Make Your Own Smut

Fleshbot — Mon, 07 May 2007 11:38:49 EDT

Tired of just sitting back and trying to entertain yourself with all the porn that other people are making—or just want to see if you have the mad editing skillz it takes to become the next Eon McKai, Michael Ninn, or Jack The Ripper? Thanks to the twisted geniuses at Pornocombo, you won't have to quit your day job to find out. The Mixer lets you put together your own high-tech porn soundtrack and add video clips and special effects to create your own mini-porntravaganza that'll at least be as interesting as anything you'll see in a Hustler or Vivid trailer compilation. Since the navigation is a bit tricky to master, you'll want to study the step-by-step instructions (accessible via the "Help" button on the bottom) before you begin, but we promise you'll be making your own Fleshbot-worthy artsy porn creations in practically no time. (Or at least a hell of a lot less time it'll take you to pack up and move to Porn Valley to see if you have what it takes to play with the big boys.)

· Pornocombo Mixer (mysexgames.com, via Badgirl's Hotbox)
· Pornocombo (uzik.com)