Fleshbot: straight, crafts

If They'd Had Stained Glass Like This In Church... We Would Have Gone To Church

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 17:00:00 EST

Finally, someone's figured out a way to make stained glass sexy. Well, for those of us who didn't already have a stained glass fetish, that is.

· Eroti-glass by Wilson (theycallmewilson.webs.com)

As the weather starts getting colder, it's...

Lux Nightmare — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 11:37:55 EST

As the weather starts getting colder, it's important to bundle up—something for which this hand-crocheted Willie Warmer will come in handy. Of course, we can think of better ways to keep your nether regions warm, but at least this one comes in multiple colors so you can coordinate with different outfits. (etsy.com)

Even though 2 out of 6 Fleshbot staff members...

Violet Blue — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 11:48:08 EST

Even though 2 out of 6 Fleshbot staff members already have their own set of squishably pre-installed stress units, we're glad to see the brainy breast lovers at Instructables providing this how-to on making a stress boob of your very own. After all, you never know when an extra one (or two) might come in handy. (instructables.com - thanks Courtney)

We're totally grooving on these hand-embroidered...

Fleshbot — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 13:36:56 EDT

We're totally grooving on these hand-embroidered porno hankies, although considering what we usually use hankies for we'd hate to get all that fancy stitching mucked up with gooey stuff. (We meant blow our noses. What did you think we were talking about?) (Flickr, via Boing Boing)

Anyone can stick their stems into a regular...

Lux Nightmare — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 11:12:59 EDT

Anyone can stick their stems into a regular old flower vase, but it takes a special kind of perv to put them in a Naughty Deflower Vase, which you can make yourself by ~~circumcizing~~ cutting up the condoms of your choice. Hopefully your orchids will still respect you in the morning. (trendhunter.com, via Shake Well Before Use)

Looking for a replacement for that worn...

Lux Nightmare — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 13:05:57 EDT

Looking for a replacement for that worn out, overused cum rag? We recommend ordering this hand embroidered sex towel. Since it's clearly labeled, there's no chance you'll mix it up with, say, the one you use to dry your dishes with. (We usually just look for those telltale off-white stains to tell them apart, but you can't be too careful.) (etsy.com)

With Wooden Dildos, The Tree Hugs You

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 21 May 2007 11:15:00 EDT

The makers of the Jildo dildo are quick to point out—as well as they should—that despite what you may think, splinters are not an issue. Once that worry is out of the way, you can start to seriously consider adding a handmade wooden dildo to your sex toy cabinet. Sure, it doesn't light up or vibrate or sing your favorite songs to you, but it will give you that peaceful feeling that comes from getting "back to nature." People have been sticking wooden toys inside themselves for centuries, you know, and the Jildo is a simply throwback to those days of yore when just about any tree branch would do. They're unique, stylish and best of all, they never need batteries, which will come in quite handy after the collapse of the global economy leaves humanity scrounging for survival in darkened underground caves. When that day arrives, at least you'll have something to keep you busy.

· Jildos (woodpeckersroost.com)

Previously: Vortex Vibrations: Vacuuming Your Way To A Better Orgasm, Hot Hexadecimal Dildo Porn: Digg This!, OhMiBod's BodiTalk: Reach Out And Fuck Someone, How To: Recycle Your Sex Toys, When Dildos Go Bad, 100,000 Years of Sex, Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

Morning Wood: The Second Coming of Pamela Anderson

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 11:45:40 EDT

· Which sign of the apocalypse involves Pamela Anderson returning to star in the Baywatch movie? Because the end times are clearly here. (hollywoodtuna.com + egotastic.com)

· You'd think a marketing convention would have the best booth babes of all, since those guys really know how to sell things. Oh, it's online marketing? We guess that's okay, too. (adrants.com)

· A single-celled parasite has been found to cause an increased libido in women, but how the heck are you supposed to get her infected with it before your big date? (esquire.com)

· Joe Francis is charged with sexual battery in a Hollywood case that is completely unrelated to his other legal troubles. Now they're just piling on. (hollywood.com)

· Naked robots are part of our future. Or maybe our past, when robots were still made out of felt. (mimikirchner.com)

· Oh, that whole Virginia Tech thing? It's porn's fault, obviously. (xbiz.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

The Fine Art Of Lace Thongs

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 15:30:33 EDT

In the mountains of Poland, lace-making is a time-honored art passed down from generation to generation. But what to do when no one wants to buy fancy doilies anymore? What else? Start making thongs! The women of the tiny mountain village of Koniakow have done just that, banding together to produce fine lace panties, bras and swimsuits that are decorative, sexy, and—of course—mostly see-through. The company is taking off, too, ensuring that this 200-year-old tradition of crafting will live on, even if it's under other people's clothes. Sure, some of their ancestors' creations are decorating the Vatican, but don't they look much hotter hanging off some nubile young model? Plus, it's not just underwear, it's a handmade work of art! Your grandmother would be so proud!

· Koni-Art Premium Handmade Lace Lingerie (koniartusa.com)
· "Polish lace-makers' twist: the thong" (msnbc.msn.com)

Previously: Bravissimo: Big Bras For Big Boobs, Stripped And Whipped: Latex Lingerie Hotness, Unusual Underwear, Knit Porn, Ravijour Lingerie, Victoria's Secret Holiday Fashion Show, Aubade 2007 Lingerie Calendar, A.S.S.: A Swiss String

Off The Hook Bikinis

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 11:00:09 EST

We know that summer is probably far from your minds right now, especially when you're outside scraping ice of your car's windshield, but it's never too early to start thinking about bikini weather. Or just bikinis. If you just can't wait, you could try to bridge the gap between the hot and cold seasons with a nice crochet bikini from Off The Hook. (Get it? It's a pun!) These are unique, custom-made beauties that are sure to catch the eye, and since they're made of nice warm yarn, you can wear them in temperatures at least one or two degrees cooler than a normal swimsuit. (Just trust us on this.) Best of all, the loose construction exponentially increases the chances for a stray nipple to pop through the top. Everybody wins! The only thing we're wondering is: do they shrink when they get wet? Because that would be like ... even more awesome.

· Off The Hook Bikinis (offthehookbikinis.com, modeled by our friend Ashley Shank-Gellar)

Previously: Unusual Underwear, Knit Porn, A.S.S.: A Swiss String, Malibu Strings Bikini Company, Mohair Fetishwear, Scarf Sex Video