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Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

Dirty 30's 8

Studio: Pornfidelity
Director: Kelly and Ryan Madison
Cast: Brandy Edwards, Hunter Bryce, Brittany O'Connell, Claire Dames, Ryan Madison, Kelly Madison

Review by: Gram Ponante

The five scenes in the Madison couple's "Dirty 30's 8" simply do not have enough Kelly Madison in them. I want Kelly Madison to at least be sitting in a corner while her husband bangs someone born in the 1970s, that's how much she lights up the room with her sassy boobulousness.

But Madison is in only one scene (the best of the bunch) and merely makes a cameo in another. The rest of the movie made me think of the Madisons' neighbors to the north, Evan Seinfeld and Tera Patrick, who have also shifted the fucking-girls-on-camera duty to the husband.

It is not like Ryan Madison seems like a weasel or douchebag. In fact, he seems low-key and charming and deeply in love with his wife, as I am. But it is Kelly that fans are here to see.

And it is in that first scene, where Kelly, who is 41, entices Claire Dames, 27, into a trailer, that I wondered why the movie was part of the "Dirty 30's" series. Maybe the editor or sound guy is in his 30s. Is there nothing I can believe in?

The Madisons are efficient filmmakers who always throw in just enough setup to ensure viewers don't feel wretched for watching porn. And the remaining scenes in the movie, featuring Brittany O'Connell, Hunter Bryce (as an ambitious personal trainer), and Brandy Edwards (as a carpet merchant), are all solid and within age-range but, sadly, mostly Kelly Madison-free.

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy "Dirty 30's 8" (tlavideo.com)

Adorable skateboarding hooligan and part time pornographer Van Styles channels the new spirit of racial transcendence enveloping the nation. Utilizing deft accuracy with the lazy, naked, honest stare of the lens, Styles ends up capturing more than just hot sex. It's as if he's guiding through the rocky shoals of the illicit taboo to the core of the buzz, soulfully blending ebony and ivory, or in this case, horny white women who crave jumbo sized man poles crammed poetically up their sweet honey pots and the dusky hued philosopher kings who loving pry them open on the unyielding fury of their raging lust.

"Soul in the Hole" stars Claire Dames, Kelly Divine, Ryder Skye, Tristan Kingsley, and Lorena Sanchez, all working foremost on their own enlightening satisfaction—and then, inadvertently, perhaps soothing our country's tenuous race relations just a little at the same time? We sure hope so. We're all for fucking our way into a more tolerant multicultural society where everyone's voice counts. Van Styles takes us one step closer without even trying.

"Soul in the Hole" releases this week from Hustler Video. It bears no relation to the '90s classic of the same name.

· Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)

This post would be far more apropos were it intended as an obituary—a tribute far more befitting this less than stellar journey into the heart of a bad niche than an actual review. In words most akin to prolific transgressive writer Chuck Palahniuk, I am Jack's dead cliché.

Starring Gina Lynn, Nikki Benz, Honey Dejour, Savannah Gold, and the ever eager Claire Dames, "Jack's Big Tit Show Volume 8" cums charging out the gate with the kind of commitment to excellence we've grown to expect from Digital Playground directors... then morphs midway through from a Lamborghini to a Pinto.

Trust us when we tell you that the problem isn't lack of ability—it's the cast!

Clearly they blew the budget of this “Robby D Excuse” on top heavy platinum blonde uberhotties Gina Lynn & Nikki Benz, then filled in the title with a bevy of lesser known newbies with big mounds of tit meat, each more hapless than the rest.

If anything, we're glad to see a less than fully magnificent release from Digital Playground, if only because it pointedly reminds us of just how amazing their movies generally are. Diehard fans of Gina Lynn will enjoy seeing her get wrecked on the merciless tool of Scott Nails. Likewise, those enamored of temperamental beauty Nikki Benz will undoubtedly be more than satisfied to see her transformed from untouchable diva to insatiable cock slave through the talents of seasoned professional and full time smut manufacturer Robby D, via his alter ego Jack.

The rest of the release operates largely as filler—to be blunt about it. That's okay man. We still love you.

"Jack's Big Tit Show Volume 8" will be available to rent this week from Digital Playground.

· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Dulcet darling Aiden Starr illustrates what having a “sword fight” in your mouth really means (in ways heretofore only possible in anime). The intrepid blonde with the knockout body displays a bottomless rapaciousness, one which compels her to unimaginable heights of sexual gluttony as she devours enough man meat to put Takeru Kobayashi to shame. Accompanying her with equal vigor, and wantonness, are a choir of lusty angels whose oral convictions are equaled only by their ineffable allure.

Rayveness offers compelling evidence of her unique talent, satisfying a throbbing quiver of cock without ever losing that hypnotic stare. Similarly dirty beauty Charley Chase bears witness to an extraordinary hunger for a degree of deviance and perversion we have grown to expect from our starlets. Add to that Carolyn Reese, Emma Heart, Claire Dames, Charlotte Vale, and Rebecca Lane, and you've got over 3 hours of mind numbing talent fulfilling the promise that porn has sown from the start: that these girls lovingly perform acts at which average women balk. Isn't that what it's really all about?

Well done, Mike Johns. Well done.

"Sperm Receptacles 4" releases this week from Jules Jordan Video. Don your raincoats and bear witness.

· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

Another reason to get this movie is if you've ever confused the male performer Christian with the performer Derrick Pierce. Both bald white men are in the movie, so viewers can say "Oh that's Christian" and "I hope he didn't get hurt by Claire Dames' ass."

To its credit, "40 Inch Plus #8" is not one of those movies that looks like it's backstage at a Ludacris video. Asses are oiled and measured tastefully, and the few instances of deliberate booty-shaking are almost Presbyterian in their modesty, but not so slow that one can read the inscriptions of the performers' trampstamps.

This is what makes your urge to grab whole handfuls of ass that much more poignant, because you don't feel manipulated into the decision.

· Vivid (vivid.com)
· Buy "40 Inch Plus 8" (gamelink.com)

· "Hag Out" with Claire Dames (myspace.com)
· Kylee Reese (myspace.com)

Night of the Giving Head

A security guard (Christian) responds to a call at a hilltop house. Getting no response to his knock, he enters and looks around. No one appears home. Suddenly, a dozen topless female zombies (led by Zombie Queen Caroline Pierce) appear and rip off his clothes, shouting "More come! More cock!"

I really don't know why this is supposed to be scary, because I can't recall anything more wonderful.

According to scientists, sperma-rays from a passing comet have infected women to the point that they will sap a man of his most precious bodily fluid, and the only way to neutralize the sperm zombies is to squirt whipped cream in their mouths.

"Let's go fuck them up," says a quartet of zombie hunters sequestered in another part of the house.

This is a ridiculous and delightful porn movie that is light on effects and plot but heavy (sometimes especially heavy) on game women unafraid to walk around like zombies bellowing "More coooooock." It is like the movie every eighth grader wants to make.

Why are all these juicy women shuffling around the house and how did they get there? It just doesn't matter, because once the sperm zombies are dosed with whipped cream, they become very affectionate toward each other. Symbiosis.

As the credits rolled on what I thought was a blissfully short movie, I noticed some names, like Amber Rayne's, in the credits that I hadn't seen in the movie. I realized I had a faulty DVD. Tinkering with it yielded the first half of the movie which now acted as a prequel to the part I'd already seen.

In the beginning, we see Rayne as the sperm disease's Patient Zero, and her post=blowjob shuffle across the hills of Chatsworth screaming "More Come! More Cock!" ranks as one of the most vividly realized performances in this awards season.

With a fun surfbilly soundtrack, Night of the Giving Head is great background fare for any over-18 Halloween party.

Studio: Rodney Moore
Director: Rodney Moore
Cast: Caroline Pierce, Rucca Page, Kylee Reese, Claire Dames, Nikki Rhodes, Samantha Sin, Amber Rayne, Rodney Moore, Christian

Review by: Gram Ponante

· Rodney Moore (rodneymoore.com)
· Buy "Night of the Giving Head" (gamelink.com)