Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno

Studio: Adam and Eve
Director: David Lord
Cast: Kayden Kross, Heidi Mayne, Kiara Diane, Dani Jensen, Codi Carmichael, Tiffany Mynx, Rocco Reed, Chris Cannon, Jenner, Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn, Barrett Blade

"Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" opens with a scene of (surprise!) Kayden and Rocco making a porno—or at least fucking on camera. But wait: this isn't a porn scene from the porno that Kayden and Rocco make. This is a scene from a different porno starring Kayden and Rocco, one which Kayden and Rocco are sitting at home watching. (Have we lost you yet?)

After watching herself with Rocco, Kayden bemoans the state of porn today: clearly, she could do a better job behind the camera than these bozos. And thus Kayden sets off on the same path as many a performer-turned-director before her. With Rocco at her side, Kayden makes a porno.

Along the way, we meet an interesting cast of characters. Heidi Mayne shows up at the audition so desperate to land a role that she blows Chris Cannon and Jenner in the waiting room (at the same time). Aspiring pornstar Evan Stone (pre-haircut!) loses his chance to get cast in the production, but lies his way into a job as the PA...and then lies his way into Tiffany Mynx, Kiara Diane, and Dani Jensen as well. Rocco engages in on-the-job intimacy with make up artist Codi Carmichael. And, in a last ditch effort to save her film, Kayden takes on both Barrett Blade and Tommy Gunn.

"Kayden and Rocco" is one of those rare pornos that manages to have just the right mix of plot and sex, without seeming gratuitous on either front. The story is entertaining, the acting is good; and at no point do we find ourselves asking why, precisely, these people are having sex with one another. They're having sex because they're making a porno (come on, it says it right on the front of the box!).

You'll have to watch the movie if you want to see how it all turns out—whether Kayden succeeds at her dream, or finds that being a director is harder than it looks—but when you do, you'll have an enjoyable time. Just, uh, don't take the movie as an instructional on how to make your own porno. Trust us on that one.

· Buy "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" (adameve.com)

Buy "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" (adameve.com)
Buy "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" (adameve.com)
Buy "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" (adameve.com)
Buy "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" (adameve.com)
Buy "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" (adameve.com)
Buy "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" (adameve.com)

I can't imagine director Ernest Greene doing anything that doesn't involve the fleshly transfer of power. McDonald's drive-through? "McFloggets, please." At the dry cleaners? "Extra wire hangers, please." At church? "More nails."

That is why his "Perfect Secretary 2: Training Day" (he didn't direct the original) for Adam & Eve somehow involves Justine Joli being trussed like a delightful, wriggling roast sylph by the imperious and near-translucent Claire Adams.

That is why the sturdy and yelly secretarial student Mika Tan is ground by and grinds in turn the likes of Marco Banderas and Chris Cannon, nearly ruining a suite of office furniture in the process.

That is why Kayden Kross must take dictation to the beat of harsh swats from a riding crop.

The movie will be released—as if from restraints—some time this summer. I attended the filming and, since I have memories that will last a lifetime (and because I'll get it for free), won't need to buy the movie. But you really should.

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)

Keener minds than ours may choose to watch the film with a more critical eye attunded to its potential antifeminist nuances. Then again, with Kristin's coevals Ann Marie Rios, Nicole Sheridan, and Samantha Sin rounding out the cast and sex this hot—not to mention the sight of Randy Spears in the most ridiculous looking fright wig we have ever seen—we’re not entirely sure anyone will be paying much attention to the finer points of story line anyway.

• "Wedding Bell Blues" (DVD info @ wickedpictures.com)