· Britney Spears' Pussy is Back (egotastic.com)

There's was a time when getting a glimpse of Britney Spears without her shirt on would have been a life-changing event. Back before the marriage (and the divorce) and the kids and the rehab and the general loss of her grip on reality, the sight of even one of her bare breasts would have sent paroxysms of joy and wonder through the heart of pop-watchers everywhere. These days, a boob slip gets buried on the back page thanks to the continuing saga of her good friend Paris Hilton and we're left with nothing to do but shake our heads. (We're still looking, of course, but we are shaking our heads as we do it.) She knows that pretty much everything she does is captured on film by paparazzi, right? And she knows that clothing store changing rooms come with curtains for a reason, correct? And she still owns at least one bra, doesn't she? Ok, so it's not exactly a Playboy spread, but since we've already seen the entire package at this point, she probably should have just gone ahead and posed for a fully-nude layout, and at least gotten paid for it. Think of all the underwear that would buy!

· "Britney Spears is Naked. Don't Look." (egotastic.com + taxidrivermovie.com)

Previously: Breaking: Britney Spears Not Even Trying Anymore, Britney Spears: Off The Deep End?, Britney Spears Upskirt Photos: No, Really

Shame on you celebrity boobie bloggers. We rely on you and your generous tips to alert us the second any see-through blouse, a cold breeze, or an errant bra strap unveils even the slightest hint of rich or famous nipple. Yet there we were, wandering aimlessly around the web when we stumbled upon the latest and greatest wardrobe malfunction from one Miss Britney Spears. And where did we find this bounty? A freakin' girly blog. That's right, our increasing slutty little sister, Jezebel, scooped us in our Celebrity NippleWatch™ duties. It's not like we have anything brilliant to add about the world's greatest living trainwreck pulling a Tara Reid in the middle of Hollywood Boulevard, but it's the principle of the thing you know? We thought they were going to write about ribbons and perfume and stuff like that. Between this, their secret laundry porn fantasies, and their thoughts on the New York Times love letter to spunk (which frankly has left us all a little unsettled), we're starting to wonder if we should stop taking our bosses' phone calls. As long as no one tells those chicks about the tentacles, we think our jobs are safe.

· You've Got To Admire Her A Little Bit Because Miss Britney Jean Spears Obviously Doesn't Give A Shit + Laundry Baskets: Good Things To Have, But Not As Sex Props + All About Sperm, And A Whale Of Disturbing Phrases To Describe It (Jezebel)
· A Salute To Sperm (Gawker)

Previously: Wet Spots: Britney Spears Nailed By The Bra Police, Morning Wood: Britney Spears, Fashion Icon, Britney Spears: Off The Deep End?

Obviously, we wouldn't put anything past Britney Spears at this point. The Shaved One's revolving door of rehab, combined with her questionable (and absent-minded) fashion choices lead us to believe she's capable of just about anything. But is she crazy enough to pose topless in a field of posies like some neo-hippie flower child? We're not saying she wouldn't do something like that, we're just not 100% certain that she did do it in this instance. Anyone can put on a goofy hat and some oversized sunglasses and create a reasonable approximation of Brit Brit, right? As usual in these situations, we leave it up to you, the experts, to decide. Take a closer look after the jump and tell us who you really think is the girl behind the flowers and share your reasoning in the comments. No matter what, we think we can all agree that a full-fledged nude spread is only a matter of time, even if these photos has no bearing on that future decision whatsoever.

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· Britney Spears Topless? (hollywoodtuna.com)
· Britney Spears Topless Pictures! (egotastic.com)

Previously: The Britney Spears Sex Tape: Don't Hold Your Breath, Yet Another Britney Spears Upskirt, Britney Spears Upskirt Photos: No, Really, Britney's Bald Badassness