Luckily, they break it down into specific categories: "Most-Ogled Boobs," "Soapy Boobs," and "Lesbo Boobs" are only a few of the Olympic arenas where breasts can compete for glory. But if you thought these choices were controversial, just imagine how much fuss there'll be when they name the Best Boobs of the Decade. Beware the Boob Riots of 2010.

· NUTS - Best boobs of the year (dailypoa.com)

Join us after the gap as America's Beloved Porn Journalist Gram Ponante takes us through this year's Dirty Dozen ... in no particular order.

- - -

"Upload"
Sex Z Pictures

Of all this year's big budget award contenders, "Upload" took the most risks with some intense hardcore scenes and a bleak futureworld storyline that would be right at home on the Sci Fi channel (minus the intense hardcore scenes). We loved Julie Night and Sandra Romain and Kylie Ireland and Hillary Scott in this movie, but it was Eva Angelina who really made us believe a world in which federal employees have sex.
(Buy it here )

. . .

"Spunk'd"
6969 Productions

Director Justin Kane's first porn movie features Nick Manning in one of several scenery-chewing masterpiece performances this year, this time as Gashton Cootcher, host of a reality prank show that requires loads to be dropped on its celebrity foils. Silly and smart, "Spunk'd" features Penny Flame, Katie Morgan, and Aurora Snow among many others in this list's only independently-produced movie.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Naughty Flipside"
Naughty America

A vignette film presenting San Diego studio Naughty America's take on The Girls of Alternative Porn Casting, "Naughty Flipside" is an unabashedly fun porn movie that features a tapdancing Pinky Lee and some equally fancy footwork from Dana DeArmond. Adrianna Nicole and Lorelei Lee have a hoedown with Tommy Pistol and Sasha Grey makes her first of many appearances on this list as a mopey teen.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"The Skin Trade"
Bad Seed

Sasha Grey plays a mopey teen who blows off Brian Surewood's head in Joe Gallant's peyote-porn about the dark side ("as a matter of fact, it's all dark") of sex for money. If "The Dharma Bums" was about an acid trip sex/killing spree instead of whatever it was about, Joe Gallant would need to direct it. Until then, watch "The Skin Trade".
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Broken"
Teravision

Sasha Grey plays a mopey teen who blows off Dave Navarro's head in Dave Navarro's L.A.-porn about the dark side ("as a matter of fact, it's all dark") of sex for money. There is nothing fancy about this movie, which is nevertheless just a bit precious at times, but first-time director Navarro looks at the standard moody porn scene a different way and the movie benefits from it.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"InTERActive"
Hustler/Teravision

You carry on a secret affair with neglected mob housewife Tera Patrick and together you choose your own adventure. Shot over four years, "InTERActive" features cameos from Jessica Jaymes and Hillary Scott, but the big star is Tera, who brings to the screen an accessibility that her in-person fans know but that doesn't as often show up in her movies. More please.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Swallow My Children"
Loaded DIgital

Rob Rotten put together a gang of greasers, longhairs, and the homeless and paired them with a really delightful gang of badass punk girls for a blowjob vignette movie that for once features Sasha Grey as a non-mopey teen sans shotgun.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Ibiza Sex Party 2"
Private

I just flew in from Barcelona and I've paid a little extra for the hooker to smile at me every now and then, for Christ's sake. There's coke on my dick and house music playing - loud, I don't care how much this vacation is going to cost. This is that movie!
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Babysitters"
Digital Playground

Everything you might want from a Digital Playground movie is here, for a fifth of the price of "Pirates" (remember "Pirates"?) - and we don't mean "Babysitters" will cost you a fifth of the price of "Pirates", just that it cost Digital Playground a fifth of the price of "Pirates". This movie showed up when we expected to see "Pirates 2" but, frankly, we found this much more accessible and less fraught with high expectations, which means that it arrived without hype. "Babysitters" also has the largest amount - four - of Digital Playground's contract girls in 2007.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Amy Fisher Caught on Tape"
Red Light District

Maybe in future iterations of Fleshbot's constantly-changing page layout we will get a sidebar. If so, this movie would be in its own category under "Best Celebrity Sex Tape". No great shakes as compared with other standard-issue porns, "Amy Fisher" is nevertheless hands down the best celebrity sex tape this year. Why? Well, there's sex in it, for one, and Fisher is the embodiment of the Long Island hot MILF aesthetic. Watching this movie you will say, "I could shoot Amy in the face - but not with bullets."
( Buy it here )

. . .


"The Pleasure Principle"
Wicked

Wicked has had a lot of expertly-directed, slickly packaged movies this year, including "Operation Desert Stormy" and "Coming Home", but Carmen Hart was adorable in this modest "It's OK to Enjoy Sex" movie for couples. Of all the contract girls, Hart is the most reminiscent of the groovy porn stars of antiquity, like Marilyn Chambers, Seka, and Christy Canyon.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"The Intern"
Lucas Entertainment

The second sidebar would be The Best (And Only) Gay Film Straight-Tagged Fleshbot Watched This Year. I have evidence that that people who watch a lot of gay porn liked this breezy comedy set in a New York gay studio too, and I performed due diligence by asking around if all gay-themed porn was as good as "The Intern", and was told that No, Breeder, It Is Not. So I lucked out. Buy this for your girlfriend, Girlfriend, and show her that you're not threatened by the size of Ben Andrews.
( Buy it here )

. . .

BAKER'S DOZEN:

"Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes 2"
JM Productions

Director Jim Powers narrates an often chilling backstage look at some of his sets with a combination of weariness and glee. While Powers usually directs rougher fare which you might expect to spawn breakdowns, tears, regret, and fights, his sardonic humor has a place in each porn company. This movie reminds us that for every high-gloss example of empowerment through porn, there are fifty times as many stories that confirm porn's detractors' worst suspicions.
( Buy it here )

It's that time of the month again: time to see what our anonymous, horny, lonely, depressed, happy, horny, angry, frustrated, confused, and horny friends are up to in the personals section at Craigslist. Did we mention horny? That's to be expected though, because when you consider all their myriad personal problems—old age, blue balls, misogyny, excess flatulence, the Atlantic Ocean—it's a wonder anyone ever gets laid. It's gotten so bad even turtles are turning to the internet for help now. Go ahead and look ... you know you want to.

- - -

The Best of the "Best of Craigslist"

· I'm Done With Ya, Bitches (Boston)

Blowjobs & handjobs

should be sloppy, noisy, and willing to finish the job. Not this "suck suck, oh my jaw" crap. I made sure to learn how to give good head. I give DAMN good head. I'm not afraid of your bodily fluids. I dive in and grab a snorkel if I need air. Let go of this bullshit femenist rhetoric and learn to worship the cock or become a lesbian.

- - -

· RANT: Middle-Aged Women complaining about sex! (Chicago)

Well ladies, the shoe is on the other foot and guess what? I'm tired!!! I'm tired from sheer exhaustion of chasing your cock teasing ass for the last 25 years!!!! Constantly, going home with "blue balls" and "whacking off" because you want me to "respect you in the morning"!!!! Well guess what years of cock abuse has done to my sex drive?!!!!

- - -

· I quit Cold turkey (Portland)

I quit masturbating last week, and I'm not Mormon.


Soak that in a second.

- - -

· So Here's The Situation (Toronto)

It wasn't until we went to a bathroom stall to makeout that my secret slipped out. There he was one hand on my breast, and the other on my left ass cheek, and I let out this unbelievably loud fart, and he opened his eyes, stepped back, and passed out. My farting can interfere with sex too. I mean think about it, there you are taking me from behind, when all of a sudden, you hear this Tuba-like sound coming out of my ass, and there it is for you, the Chili we had at dinner.

- - -

· 143 Reasons That I Will Be The Best Girlfrie0nd You've Ever Had (San Francisco)

57. I'm not opposed to having a hump-session anytime anywhere.

58. I don't want you to spoon me everynight

59. I like you to poke me in the butt in the morning

- - -

· My Turtle Needs A Booty Call (Boston)

So I guess we're kind of talking about casual sex here but I promise that my turtle could give your turtle more respect and pleasure than the average "special friend."

- - -

· Dear, guy masturbating in the bathroom stall at my work... (Philadelphia)

Did you not hear me open the door? Did you not hear me pull the ass gasket from the holder, tear off those 3 annoying pieces that hold the center in place, and sit down? Good god man, another man is taking a shit not 8 feet away from you. Shouldn't that take the bloom off the rose, so to speak?

- - -

The Rest of Craigslist (These posts expire after one week, though we try to preserve the entire message for posterity.)

· to that special girl from Germany that i cant have - m4w (Washington, DC)

all i know is that i want to touch your whole body! if you ever read this i will be embaraced............ oh and i dont care about your boyfriend in germany, and i hope you dont mind my recent past. seriously if i cant have you thats fine, but i still have my memories.

that was all so long ago............................ lets do it in the car in the rain again! every night with you in paris was enjoyable to the extreme, it was perfect enough for anything and there you went between these fingers. i should have made you mine on the new year!

- - -

· Lookin' to sniff out sweaty pits, balls and feet (Washington, DC)

masc bi dude that gets turned on by a dudes musky sweaty pits, balls and feet of suit & tie types and big plus are blue collar dudes that wear construction boots and sweaty socks. You need to be in-shape, n/s and d/df...masc discreet only (str8/bi) and discretion a must.

- - -

· RE: Anyone Know where I can get my penis tattooed (New York)

If you have a nice sized cock come over to my place, I have a killer set of crayola markers and I majored in Art....like horses???

- - -

· RE: Anyone Know where I can get my penis tattooed

email me after you have it done!

* * * * *

Previously: Best of Craigslist Archive

Once again it's time to swim through the churning sea of humanity known as Craigslist to learn what sort of sexual tempests our brothers and sisters have been caught up in lately. Looking deep into the soul of mankind is never easy ... but it's often hilarious. This month: a young man pleads for his life, a lesbian changes teams, playas get hated, the unfortunately-named Paco gets into some hot water ... and we finish it off with the kind of personals ad that Craigslist was made for. (Shout if you love to EAT ASS!) Catch 'em before they disappear!

- - -

The Best of the "Best of Craigslist"

· No more sex. Please. (San Francisco)

The first 2 days just about killed me, but for the first time in my life I was satisfied. Given my sex drive I thought that maybe I had had a stroke somewhere in the 40 hrs of damn near continuous sex. But I'm a gentleman, so I gave you another 20. But now that we're working on 4 days here I'm starting to panic. It's like I'm being taught some kind of horrible lesson, but I can only pray that I'm dreaming.

- - -

· 10 Reasons to Date a Lesbian (San Diego)

5. I don't call myself bisexual. Bi chicks have a reputation for cheating on their husbands and being incapable of sustaining meaningful relationships with women. It may be a generalization, but I've met enough of them to know that I don't ever want to date one or to be called one. It's just not my style.

6. You never have to wonder if I slept with that other guy. I didn't.

- - -

· You Might Be Fucking My Roommate, but... (Milwaukee)

Fucking in our common areas. The only reason I know this shit goes on is because I've found the condom wrappers in very odd locations. There's nothing I can do about this, but it creeps me out to think about where either your or her ass has been. If I knew you were both clean and conscious individuals, this might be an area of negotiation, but I know her habits. I've seen glimpses into yours. Do what you want in the shower. Otherwise, stay in her room, I beg you.

- - -

The Rest of Craigslist (These posts expire after one week, though we try to preserve the entire message for posterity.)

· Rant No Dick for Me Tomorrow AM (Northern Virginia)

Hmm so one of my favorite tricks who up and got married contacted me yesterday and he wanted some head and ass action. We made plans to meet tomorrow AM at my place before work and he had to cancel. Seems his new nosey wife installed tracking software on their home computer and busted him. Hmm missing that dick......

- - -

· RANT: I can't stop fantasizing about my boss (Boston)

I really can't stop fantasizing about my bosss...it's a fun little fantasy, but really inappropriate! He's not my direct boss, rather he's the CEO, so I guess he's my bosses boss (they're just about equals, though). I generally don't have a thing for older men, but he is really handsome and a nice guy. He always has a big smile and a hello for me...the other day he told me that he wishes the company were filled with more of me because he likes how I get things done...yeah, that lent itself to about a half an hour of me closing my office door and getting all wet...Trying not to think about it is just not working. I'm a happily involved girl, but I suppose indulging in a little fantasy to keep boredom away never hurt anyone...

- - -

· Re : RANT Now I understand.....the oral sex thing (San Franciso - East Bay)

My wife and I have been arguing about this for the last three days now. I want her to give me head and she says "I'm not even interested in being interested in giving you head". Yes, you read that correctly. She said "Im not even interested in being interested"!

That really hurt my feelings. I am very clean and smell good and it really kills me to see women on this forum who talk about men who are in it for themselves. I will eat my wife and send her straight to heaven anytime she wants, but God forbid that I want to get head once or twice a month !

I'm even starting to think that maybe I should get a divorce, after 11 years of marriage. I feel like I cant take being deprived much more. Two of the most important things to me are getting head, and secondly, her cooking for me. I do most of the cooking, but it would be nice if she would take interest. I dont think that my wife gives a shit about pleasing her man, but then she gives me two pages of shit that she is expecting from me.

This is SO unfair! I believe that I am a good man and I deserve to get some head ! I give much, and I should get much back.

- - -

· why do fat chicks like it anal? cuz it's tight? (New York)

Why do fat chicks always pretend they are virgins in the ass department and then I slam my meat into them and they just beg for more and to do it harder and harder.

It is major work to please a fat chick and one that loves the anal ca bob.

so question: Do fat chicks take it up the butt in a disproportionate amount and does this have anything to do with their support of Hillary Clinton?

- - -

· To the players out there: what's the point of fucking all these women? (Los Angeles)

So I am a guy, 28, serial monogamist, I like falling in love with a woman, becoming close to her, becoming comfortable enough with her to be myself, sharing experiences, learning a new take on things, just hanging out together like best friends who are also tender with each other. I guess that makes me a bit of a pussy, but I'm with a girl now, she's in the same profession, she's my best friend, and we will be getting married in the next few years. Even if this doesn't work, I'll porbably just go out and find another companion.

I have had a few one night stands, and some short fucking relationships as well, but I just found them unsatisfying. There's the thrill of victory, but everything else is subpar - you have to wear condoms, it's a bit awkward, you don't really enjoy each other as people so all the time spent outside of sex isn't that great, you have to watch what you say or else you forfeit the sex, in short, you're playing the game, not being yourself, and it's tiresome and uncomfortable.

So what's the big thrill of nailing one chick after another and moving on? I mean, they all have the same holes, don't they? How different can it be after the 100th one? You're just going through the same motions, or with slight variation, on each date, each pick up. Is there much variety in bed? Do you get to do everything you want?

What's the attraction? Is it just the ego boost that comes from knowing that you can get into their pants? But this isn't even that much of a victory anymore, they are as horny as we are, so who's fucking who? It seems so strange and obligatory, to perform this sexual act with every stranger you can, like a ritual of some kind.

- - -

· Ladies, just because I get you off.....multiple times..... (Seattle)

Doesn't mean I love you or are in love with you. It just means I care about getting you off. I care because I have heard too many times "that hasn't happened in a really long time" and "Nobody has ever done that before". It breaks my heart and kills me to hear things like this.

Guys WTF? you're making us look bad. Not to mention makes it hard for guys like me to just have a little fun.....they always get so clingy when you get them off. Personally I like it. Making a woman climax is almost as good as climaxing myself.

- - -

· Warning! Ladies if you slep with PACO (Los Angeles)

If any lady here slep with PACO in the last 2 years, you better get tested.

- - -

· Re: Warning! Ladies if you slep with PACO (Los Angeles)

Uh, seriously, who would be dumb enough to sleep with anyone by such a stupid name as Paco?

Who would also be stupid enough to have unprotected sex, especially with a dork named Paco?

If you're dumb enough to sleep with someone by such a stupid name, sans condom, you deserve your diseases.

- - -

· LOVES TO EAT FEMALE ASS!!! - m4w (Toronto - with pictures!)

THIS AD IS VERY SIMPLE AND TO THE POINT!!! I LOVE TO EAT FEAMLE ASS!!!! FOR THOSE WHO LOVE IT BEING DONE TO THEM, THIS AD IS FOR YOU!! TOO ASHAMED TO SAY ANYTHING?....BOYFRIEND OR HUBBY WON'T DO IT!!! HERE I AM!! ATTRACTIVE, LIGHT SKINNED BKACK MALE FOR YOUR PLEASURE...NO $$$...WOMEN ONLY...JUST LIE BACK AND ENJOY!!! REPLY WITH PICS IF POSSIBLE.

* * * * *

Previously: Best of Craigslist Archive