When one says "phallic building" one thinks of this water tower in Michigan. When one says "vaginal architecture" one thinks of this building across the state line in Illinois (OMG what if they got together??). But how do we describe the various G-Spot vibrators we find on the market other than Krull Glaives?

For such a sweet and wholesome purpose as G-Spot stimulation (it's not like we can fit Violet Blue's book up there), this week's Marital Aid looks sinister.

But ladies like sinister. Read our review of Miss Bliss' Extra Silicone G-spot Vibrator after the gap. - GP

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"Here is the knowledge you seek."

Australia's Black Label Adult Shop has thoughtful copy to complement its adult products, and of this G-Spot vibrator it says that the vibrator is "5 inches in insertable length".

Because the device is nubbly and textured, like the inside of our favorite people, it is easy to think that perhaps the creators of the vibrator arrived at five inches only by first trying for ten. It is delightful to think about.

If this charming device were absolutely smooth it would seem somehow clinical, like something an unfortunate resident of Bogue Chitto might be probed with were he/she to be abducted by Space People.

As it is, our Test Subject was at first shy but then demonstrably not so, getting to her G-Spot with absolutely no help from me or the team of Army nurses staying at our house this week.

The experience was so pleasant she began speaking in HTML.

"This won't replace me, will it?" I asked.

"Yes No," she said.

· Buy Miss Bliss Extra Silicone G-Spot Vibrator (blacklabeladultshop.com)

Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

If we had to do it all over again, we probably wouldn't change a thing about the first time we had sex: losing our virginity in the cramped confines of the back of a '77 Camaro might have been a little uncomfortable, but at least it's given us some fond memories to rehash at cocktail parties over the years (not to mention reference in a blog post nearly two decades after the fact). Those of you with less memorable experiences, however, might want to check out this virtual exhibit in the new issue of ID Magazine where six designers were asked to create the perfect places for popping one's cherry; the results range from futuristic pod-like platforms that look like something straight out of "Sleeper" to a multistory "Lost Virginity World" complete with an elevator guaranteed to get stuck between floors and a chimney that releases a heart-shaped puff of smoke every time a couple crosses that magic threshhold (awww). And for the record: we'd still choose our '77 Camaro over artist James Victore's '55 Chevrolet Bel Air with "spacious bench seats and Marvin Gaye or Meatloaf on the radio" any day. We miss that damn car.

· "In the Mood for Love: Six designers imagine the ideal setting for losing one's virginity" (idonline.com, via sexblo.gs + Core 77)