Fleshbot: straight, anthony rosano

Swaptastic Shenanigans & Penny Flame In "Wife Switch 8"

DCypher — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 15:00:00 EST

Pink Visual drops their newest "Wife Switch: this week. With both girls giving us a lesbian tease, then two couples going at it at the same time, it's like tripling the amount of hardcore in every single scene!

We couldn't be happier with the results—well, short of being invited into the juicy action. "Wife Switch 8" features ten couples who are all (ahem) totally brand new to the art of swapping, trying out the swinger thing for the very first time! Okay, we don't buy it either, but we're willing to go along for the ride. That's why it's called suspension of disbelief, right?

The very first scene brought memories flooding back to us. Alex Sanders, Mark Zane, Monica Mayhem, and long lost Penny Flame (of VH1 fame) all get crazy in a four way pile up that is as impressive as it is mesmerizing to watch. Our favorite new Huffington Post blogger shines like a diamond as the meat to this crazy sex sandwich (not to mention the instigator) chowing down on Monica Mayhem's juice box before pairing off with her new lover's boyfriend. The scene delivers a punch, with Mark Zane keeping the heat on.

The rest of the movie, including the scenes with Alex Star, Jay Lassiter, Mackenzie Star, Velicity Von, Anthony Rosano, Justin Magnum, Kayla Carrera, Sara Jessie, Jessica Bangkok, Joey Brass, Kylee Reese, and Scott Lyons, are just as interesting to watch. But the second scene of the show caught our attention just a little more—by about four extra inches in length and three extra inches around.

Claire Dames, Friday, Lee Stone, and the legendary Sledge Hammer put on a show that we could not look away from. Seriously, it was like mixing porn with Cirque De Soleil, minus the clowns and the tight wire. The scene featured acrobatics, heavy lifting, contortionists, sword swallowing, partner exchanging, and death defying acts of cunt stuffing! C'est tres magnifique!

"Wife Switch 8" releases this week from Pink Visual and Blue Moon Productions. Check out this mega ultra super gallery! It's swaptastic!

How Business Gets Done In Hollywood

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 12:00:00 EST

"Entourage" may have given us all a bit of insight into how the world of Hollywood works—but it's "Entourage XXX" that really delves deeply, exploring the backroom (and in office) action that really seals those deals.

If only all deals were decided this way...why, we'd be halfway to securing that job of President of Earth by now.

· Buy "Entourage - A XXX Parody" (gamelink.com)

Wet Hot

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 12:00:00 EDT

Who doesn't love sex in the shower? Who doesn't love sex with Ava Rose? Who doesn't love both...at the same time? Ava may be slippery when wet—but we're still determined to never let her go.

· Buy "Wet Vignettes" (gamelink.com)

While The Cat's Away, The Mouse Will Play

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:00:00 EDT

And in this case, the mouse will play with another pussy (get it? Get it?). When Aletta Ocean's in the picture, she can do whatever she wants—but opting to penetrate both her holes is very nice indeed.

· Buy "There's A Great Big Penis In My Butt!" (gamelink.com)

Pornstars In Polyester: "'70s Show: A XXX Parody"

Ottimo Massimo — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Quick word of advice: jizz will not wash out of polyester. Trust us.

'70s Show: A XXX Parody

Studio: New Sensations
Director: Lee Roy Myers
Cast: Brooke Banner, Ashlynn Brooke, Missy Stone, Rachel Love, Kaci Starr, Patrick J. Knight, Anthony Rosano, Ralph Long, Justin Magnum, Bo Banner, Ethan Cage, Steve Smith, Pike Nelson

When we first announced "'70s Show" on this site, there was quite a hubbub about casting choices, hair color, and overall attention to the original. In response to the commotion:
Yes, Brooke Banner makes an excellent Donna. And Rachel Love does an outstanding Kitty Foreman.
No, the wigs aren't perfect, but the hair color is pretty accurate.
Yes, Bob and Midge really should've been in this.

Honestly, the one thing that tweaked my obsessive side was the pubic hair. It was (a FOX network tribute to) the '70s! As a young lad, I totally had a crush on Donna, but would've gladly gone out with Jackie, and was down to fool around with Laurie. Naturally, a critical part of the whole four-way fantasy was pubic hair: big, scruffy, retro bushes. Do you think I got retro bushes? Of course not. Next thing I know, someone will tell me Charlie's Angels were all shaved, too.

Gripes aside, "'70s Show" offers genuine giggles. The story revolves around a Led Zeppelin concert the whole gang attends. Eric (Patrick J. Knight) and Donna try to go backstage to see the band, but only Donna is allowed in. Sadly, it's all a trick. Donna thinks she's blowing three security guards so she can meet Robert Plant, but really she's just slobbing on the cleaning crew. Meanwhile, Fez (Pike Nelson) and Kelso (Anthony Rosano) dress up like rock stars in order to trick groupies into sleeping with them. For no reason, Eric's sister Laurie (Ashlynn Brooke) shows up to do laundry and fuck Kelso.

Although Missy Stone may not look exactly like Mila Kunis, she has the voice down perfectly. Better yet, she throws out brilliant one-liners during her scene with Ralph Long (as the sideburned Hyde): "I can't believe I'm messing up my hair for you!" Best of all, she's Missy Stone, and she's unbelievably hot. No surprises there.

Being attracted to Rachel Love as Kitty? That was a surprise. There's something magical about watching Red's Korean War veteran angst come bubbling to the surface as he fucks his wife with a grimace. Like any man would, he comes early and walks off to grab a sandwich. While he's gone, Hyde comes in, shrugs, and helps Kitty finish.

When the funny is on, it's really on, and it blurs the line between accuracy and arousal. Hyde is a notorious mooch, so it seems natural for him to swoop up the sloppy seconds that Red leaves lying on the couch. When the gang is smoking pot in the basement, the camera pans from stoned face to gaping jaw. There's even a theme song that bears a striking resemblance to the original! Lee Roy Myers nailed it. The attention to detail warms the heart of the most nitpicky fan. Even I'm willing to forgive their trespasses against pubic hair.

Tori Black Fucks Her Little Heart Out In "Entourage – A XXX Parody"

DCypher — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:00:00 EDT

What better way to get even with the studio that's keeping you from blockbuster roles than to make a porn parody? It almost sounds like an actual episode of a series that has clearly jumped the shark.

Such is the clever twist that guides the loose plot of New Sensations' newest self aware porn parody "Entourage – A XXX Parody." Directed by Lee Roy Myers, the spoof covers all our favorite players, including Eric, Vince, Turtle, Drama, Ari, and Lloyd.

Myers's pornified version picks up somewhere between seasons two and three, after Vince's latest film flops, when Turtle decides to upload a celebrity sex tape of Vince and everyone's favorite super-starlet-next-door, Mandy Moorehead. From there it's so spot on that Marky Mark and the Writer's Guild should get a cut of the residuals from this thing.

Ultimately, fans of the show will love it. The players actually kinda look like the real actors on the show, and great attention to detail is paid. But, while the real show's pull is not only its cast of plucky characters but the allure of Hollywood itself (replete with every single saccharin stereotype non-Angelino's insist on perpetuating) the porn parody must be based on hot sex, no matter how closely the movie apes the object of it's adoration. Luckily it stars sexy Ashlynn Brooke, Penthouse Pet Tori Black, Priya Rai, Jayden James, and Eva Ellington, all fine young women far more interested in servicing huge cocks than taking cold reading classes off Laurel Canyon.

While we have always loved Ashlynn's, um, work, we were particularly thrilled with the effort young Miss Black puts forward. She takes an amazing fucking, so much so that it distracts us from the plot. We owe you one there, babycakes.

"Entourage – A XXX Parody" comes out today. The hardcore trailer is available here—or view the soft trailer on YouTube. And, of course, be sure to check out the goodness in our exclusive gallery below.

Tori Black and Anthony Rosano
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Tori Black
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Tori Black and Anthony Rosano
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Priya Rai
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Priya Rai
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Jayden James
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Jayden James
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Eva Ellington
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Eva Ellington
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Eva Ellington
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)

Reapplying Sunscreen Will Not Protect You From “Bree Exposed”

Ottimo Massimo — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 17:00:00 EDT

The back cover says "Bree Olson gives her tribute to sex." We should all give tribute to the sun-goddess known as Bree.

Bree Exposed

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Andre Madness
Cast: Bree Olson, Ava Rose, Jenny Hendrix, Missy Stone, Charlie Laine, Danny Mountain, Anthony Rosano, Tommy Gunn, Mick Blue

Bree Olson only appears in two scenes! I know I'm being greedy, but I was hoping for more. Naturally, the quality of her scenes more than makes up for the quantity, as Bree is a powerful force in her respective segments with Anthony Rosano and Tommy Gunn.

Since Anthony has the first scene, you'd expect him to set the pace for the rest of the actors. While his unchained fucking certainly typifies the wild tone of the film, I wouldn't designate him the golden standard of "Bree Exposed." Mr. Rosano gets very, very sweaty. Like, just-got-caught-in-a-monsoon sweaty. Also, he finishes by jacking off on Bree's feet and I wasn't prepared for it. Maybe that's a good thing?

The following four scenes are also wet and surprising, but in different ways. Mick Blue brings Missy Stone to squirt before embarking on a long anal engagement. Then there's a lesbian intermission with Ava Rose and Charlie Laine involving a rather ornate but uncomfortable-looking chair. Next, Bree seduces Tommy with an oh-so sensuous booty dance. Finally, Jenny Hendrix and Danny Mountain use the only bed in the movie for some very intense reverse cowgirl action.

As hot as all of the performers are, I felt the sound was the sexiest part of the movie. One moment you're listening to Bree describe the prodigious veins of Tommy's cock (prodigious, by the way), and the next, you're eavesdropping on the whispers between Jenny and Danny. It really says something when you can enjoy a porno with your eyes closed.

The only thing that soured my audio love affair was the ambient music. Before every scene you're treated to either an Enya techno remix or Gregorian chant-break beats. A minor concern, but it causes me to wonder what overall feel Andre Madness wanted to impart.

The straight story is this: there are five hot scenes that stand out strong against any environmental oddities that may exist. With every new scene, you can feel yourself getting excited, impatient, and just generally happy to see the performers. It's that Christmas-morning feeling that can't be faked, and it comes from the talent and enthusiasm of the actors.

And that's why I want to see more of Bree Olson: you can stare at her for hours and it won't damage your retinas.

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"The Sex Files" Helps Us Believe Again

Gram Ponante — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

Porn doesn't fly off the shelves anymore (unless it's HAUNTED), so parodies must stand on their own (if you can be expected to). We wanted to believe Kimberly Kane and Anthony Rosano in "The Sex Files," and we did.

The Sex Files

Studio: New Sensations
Director: Sam Hain
Cast: Kimberly Kane, Anthony Rosano, Ashlynn Brooke, Audrey Bitoni, Rod Fontana, Tyler Knight, Aurora Snow, Gracie Glam, Jackie Daniels, Tory Lane, Taylor Vixen, Angelica Raven, Evan Stone

Review by: Gram Ponante

Writer/director Sam Hain had a grand vision for this "dark" parody (which was, thankfully, not as dark as most Wicked movies).

"I wanted it to fit into a plot hole in 'The X Files' that lots of fans were talking about," he said. "We see Scully (played in the original show by dour, buttoned-down saucypants Gillian Anderson) leaving a room as she's adjusting her clothes, and inside we see Mulder ('The Rapture''s David Duchovny) on the bed."

Well, a season later, Scully was pregnant and the show that coincided with the birth of chatroom culture had a cliffhanger every bit as potent as "Who Shot J.R.?"

So Hain wrote this movie as a bit of geekery, plugging the plot hole as neatly as reams of fan fiction had Mulder and Scully plugging each other in space, in Navajo boxcars, ghost ships, and under the watchful eye of the Chupacabra.

"But I tried to make it organic to the original show," Hain said.

All right, Mr. Hain. We are convinced of your earnestness. But is there room in today's crowded marketplace for earnest porn?

"The Sex Files" (New Sensations received a cease and desist letter from Fox, breaking the porn studio's graceful string of parody titles unburdened by either "Not the" or "This Ain't") cold-opens with sultry pixie Ashlynn Brooke astride a grateful but nervous older man (Guy DaSilva, who is also getting some work as porn's "Barrack Obama"). She reassures him that he was just fine, but now she wants to try something kinky. The camera tactfully pans away as she rips him to shreds with her mouth.

Next we meet Mulder and Scully (Kimberly Kane and Anthony Rosano), two FBI agents inhabiting a dimly lit D.C. basement. They are sent to Los Angeles to investigate some grisly serial killings, but Mulder balks. It has little to do with his job description, working on cases that deal in the kooky and paranormal.

If you've seen "The X Files," you are already satisfied that Kane and Rosano are expertly cast, clothed, and coiffed, and Rod Fontana as their boss, Skinner, is also an apt substitute for Mitch Pileggi. In fact, Fontana/Skinner gets to do what Pileggi/Skinner didn't: fuck his secretary, Aurora Snow.

"It's getting hot in here," she says, removing some layers.

"Federal buildings' air conditioning," Fontana syas.

The triumph of this pornification of "The X Files" is that Hain gets the silence right as well as many of the details. Much of how long-term partners Scully and Mulder communicate is non-verbal. But the occasional flareups of wordy exposition, also characteristic of the original show, is handled just about deftly by the actors, who obviously had much more of a dialogue workout on this film than any other in their careers.

But the time this movie takes to reveal what other porn flicks feel behooved to get out of the way ASAP makes Kane's first nude scene (the lonely Mulder catches her coming out of the shower) electric.

"Sorry," stammers Mulder, averting his eyes. "Good night, Scully."

It turns out that Ashlynn Brooke is Lilith, an apocryphal Hebrew succubus summoned back to life (and Pasadena) by creepy sex magick practitioner Andrew Barsons (Ralph Long). As Mulder and Scully track Barsons' movements, Lilith devours leather-clad swingers Evan Stone and Audrey Bitoni.

She even eats Stone's balls.

You should boycott "The Sex Files" on principle if it did not feature a sex scene between Mulder and Scully, so luckily for everyone it does. And their climactic tryst doesn't arrive by some device like a dream sequence. We actually sense their longing for each other throughout the movie. It's, well, earnest.

Another selling point of this movie is how good it looks. Shot on the red digital camera, "The Sex Files" looks rich. And the color palette provided by a series of lush brunettes and the languid Kane give the movie a real beauty. Furthermore, Stone and Rosano provide plenty of eye candy for female and gay audiences, and the gore is all off-camera.

Kane and Rosano carry this movie, which was very carefully directed by Hain to allow for beats and stillness. Director of Photography Eddie Powell throws in a special effect that has never before been seen in porn, and we are left in the end with a real feeling of hope that bad shit will never again befall Mulder and Scully.

I wish for everyone involved that this movie could have been sold on those alt.xfiles BBS pages of yore and made ten times its budget back, but this movie is going up against some heavy hitters as we move into AVN nomination season.

Still, if you Trust No One other than me, you really should see "The Sex Files." You'll believe - in your pants!!!!

New Sensations (newsensations.com)
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"The Sex Files" Approaches...And We Can't Wait To Watch It

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 13:30:01 EDT

In just over a week, the wait will be over: "The Sex Files" (formerly known as "The X-Files: A XXX Parody") will be in stores, and all our Gillian Anderson fantasies will finally be realized (or so we assume).

How can we be so confident? Well, you might just say we've seen the trailer. And with a little ingenuity (and some clicking) on your part, you, too, can be on the fast track to sci-fi porno insiderdom. (Trailer above.)

· "The Sex Files - A Dark XXX Parody" (thesexfilesmovie.com)

"70s Show - A XXX Parody": A First Look

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 13:00:00 EDT

While we were busy obsessing over "30 Rock - A XXX Parody" and "The Sex Files - A Dark XXX Parody," New Sensations was working hard to put out yet another parody porn masterpiece: "70s Show: A XXX Parody."

The feature streets on September 21 (less than three weeks away!), and though we don't know the exact details of the plot (except that it seems to involve lots of sex, lots of weed, and a Kiss show), or just what wacky, sexy adventure the gang will get up to, we do have this awesome photo set. And let us just tell you: it looks super, duper hot. And we are loving some of the porn doppelgangers they've lined up: Rachel Love makes an impeccable Kitty, and Ralph Long—who's been everyone from "30 Rock"'s Pete to the janitor from "Scrubs"—seems simply born to play Hyde.

After seeing these photos, there's really only one question left in our minds: how, exactly, are we supposed to wait 19 days to see this movie?

New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner)New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner) and Eric (Patrick J. Knight)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner) and Eric (Patrick J. Knight)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner) and Eric (Patrick J. Knight)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner) and Eric (Patrick J. Knight)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Laurie (Ashlynn Brooke) and Kelso (Anthony Rosano)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Laurie (Ashlynn Brooke) and Kelso (Anthony Rosano)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Laurie (Ashlynn Brooke) and Kelso (Anthony Rosano)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Laurie (Ashlynn Brooke) and Kelso (Anthony Rosano)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner) and the roadies (Justin Magnum, Bo Banner, and Ethan Cage)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner) and the roadies (Justin Magnum, Bo Banner, and Ethan Cage)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner) and the roadies (Justin Magnum, Bo Banner, and Ethan Cage)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Hyde (Ralph Long) and Jackie (Missy Stone)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Jackie (Missy Stone)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Jackie (Missy Stone) and Hyde (Ralph Long)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Jackie (Missy Stone) and Hyde (Ralph Long)
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Jackie (Missy Stone) and Hyde (Ralph Long)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
>Kitty (Rachel Love)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Kitty (Rachel Love) and Red (Steve Smith)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Kitty (Rachel Love) and Red (Steve Smith)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Kitty (Rachel Love) and Hyde (Ralph Long)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Pam (Kaci Starr)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Pam (Kaci Starr)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Pam (Kaci Starr)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Pam (Kaci Starr)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)

Stormy Daniels Is Feeling "Tormented" Lately

DCypher — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 15:00:00 EDT

And with so much on her plate it's easy to see why...our blonde darling crossover star needs more hot kinky sex in her life! That's all!

It appears that legendary, award-winning director Jonathan Morgan is still alive and well and working over at Wicked Pictures (just as he has been for over a decade now). Despite his alarmingly reclusive nature in the last few years (which has earned him his latest nickname: the JD Salinger of porn), the quality of the work he produces has not been diminished. If anything, we'd say it has gone up. Now, instead of bells and whistles and rickety rackety, he's all substance and style—and we're very impressed!

With today's release of' "Tormented," we see a true master hard at work on his craft. Coupled with Stormy Daniels, the duet delves deep into the sinister side of seduction for an admittedly darker take on Wicked's generally insouciant and effervescing starlet.

"I have a really dark and perverted streak in me that no one knows about," Stormy would have said, undoubtedly, if her publicist could speak through her mouth to promote this movie. "I like to explore my fantasies of domination, submission and other sexually altered states, allowing reality to take a back seat to the perverted passions deep within my mind."

Okay, so maybe she didn't exactly say any of those things. Nor, for the record, did any of her lovely co-stars, Asa Akira, Priya Rai, Aiden Starr, Shawna Lenee, Sarah Vandella, and Tori Black. But that doesn't mean they don't really feel like that. You don't know. Mere process of deduction implies that there must be some dark fantasies lurking beneath their breathtaking exteriors that drive them to commit such intensely passionate acts and display the raw sexual hunger that they do. That's elementary.

"Tormented" comes out today from Wicked Pictures. Check out our cool gallery. Welcome back, Jonathan—and thank you!

Stormy Daniels and Sascha
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Asa Akira and Tommy Gunn
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Priya Rai, John West, and Marco Duato
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Sarah Vandella, Shawna Lenee, and Anthony Rosano
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Stormy Daniels, Aiden Starr, and Mick Blue
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Stormy Daniels and Sascha
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Tori Black and Marco Duato
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nted115_01.jpg" width="1000" height="1490" />Tori Black and Marco Duato

Kimberly Kane And Ashlynn Brooke In "The X-Files: A Dark XXX Parody"

Gram Ponante — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Just as Fox Mulder wanted aliens to be real, we keep hope alive that adult parodies can be legitimate expressions of the pornic arts. That's why we are curious as a randy chupacabra about this "X-Files" parody.

Starring Kimberly Kane as Dana Scully and the dreamy Anthony Rosano as Mulder (with the magically delicious Ashlynn Brooke going back to her dark roots temporarily to play a demoness), "The X-Files: A Dark Parody" was conceived as an actual "X Files" episode but with sex, taking place in the time in the series when Gillian Anderson's Scully became pregnant and fans wondered if she'd been Muldered and Californicated.

Why does this excite us? Because this is geeky fan fiction with a porn twist just as much as it is a marketing ploy.

And like the Sam and Diane of the FBI, people wanted Mulder and Scully to get their X on. The two characters get together in the movie's climactic scene - and it's not a dream sequence.

One thing that is the stuff of fantasy is Ashlynn Brooke's rack.

"She has the best fake boobs I have ever seen," said Kane.

"The X Files: A Dark Parody" will be released in September.

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)

They'll Be There For You: "Friends - A XXX Parody"

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 26 May 2009 17:30:01 EDT

The porn parody train keeps rolling on: soon you (yes, you) will be able to live out all your dirty mid-nineties-era fantasies with the release (ha!) of "Friends - A XXX Parody." A

VN scored some photos on the set, where Rachelle (Kayla Paige), Freebie (Jordan Kingsley), and Moanica (Vanessa Naughty) all got down and dirty with Evan, the ~~Ugly~~ Hot Naked Guy. Rounding out this group of friends (ha!) are Joe (Rocco Reed), Sandler (Chris Strokes), and Russ (Anthony Rosano).

We have high hopes for this one... but we kinda wish they'd come up with a better name than "Moanica." (Seriously?)

· On the Set of 'Friends: A XXX Parody' (avn.com)
· Gallery: Behind the Scenes of 'Friends: A XXX Parody' (avn.com)

Ryder Skye And Sindee Jennings Make Our Childhood Fantasies Come True

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:00:00 EDT

Ginger. Mary Ann. Two fine, fine specimens of womankind—and two complete polar opposites. How are we to choose between these two amazing women? Well, what if we didn't have to?

Yes, in an inspired bit of porno plotting, Hustler throws Ginger, Mary Ann, and—of course—Gilligan together for a little bit of island loving. These castaways may not get off the island anytime soon... but for action, we'd trade places with them in a heartbeat.

· Buy "This Ain't Gilligan's Island" (gamelink.com)

*****

Previously: Does "This Ain't Gilligan's Island" Sink or Swim?

Ironic Hustler Release Recalls Penny Flame In Happier XXX Days

DCypher — Tue, 05 May 2009 17:00:00 EDT

In light of her sudden and sad departure from the world of adult entertainment we here at Fleshbot would like to remind readers of Penny Flame in merrier circumstances...

...as in, on the set of Axel Braun's epic Hustler release "This Ain't Happy Days XXX," released just last week. Seriously Flame, you will be missed. No one does it better than you, baby. We wish you well at whatever you choose to do—but you will always be our favorite li'l stoner pornstar.

A huge fan of the show, even as a young lad growing up in Italy, Braun wrote the masterpiece and directed it himself, centering the plot around Richie and the gang trying to learn from Fonzie the right stuff to score with the poodle skirts. Honestly, we never expected to see anyone other than Sam the Butcher giving Alice the meat, but Axel's imagination is as fertile as Octomom's womb.

"This Ain't Happy Days XXX" is out right now. It features an all-star cast, including Tori Black, Penny Flame, Missy Stone, Alan Stafford, Codi Carmichael, Riley Evans, Kris Slater, Jack Lawerence, Anthony Rosano, James Bartholet, Raquel Devine and the ever-cool stud Tommy Gunn as The Fonz. Be sure to pick up a copy—it's what The Fonz would want.

· Hustler (hustlervideo.com)

Does "This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX" Sink Or Swim?

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 11:30:01 EDT

It seems telling that "This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX" begins, not with a parody of the "Gilligan's Island" credits, but with a porn crew landing on the island in a raft.

Indeed, the credits don't even run until after a full sex scene—Regan Reese as the pornstar Alexi blowing a stunned and confused Gilligan (played by Anthony Rosano)—has already run its course. And the rest of the movie pretty much follows in this vein.

"This Ain't Gillgan's Island XXX" is not so much a pornified "Gilligan's Island" as the characters of "Gilligan's Island" haphazardly dropped into a porn movie (a more fitting title might have been "Gilligan's Island Meets Porn Valley."). To the extent that there's a plot, it's mostly about the porn crew tricking the unwitting island inhabitants into becoming the stars of their film.

Indeed, it's not until the fifth sex scene that we even see two characters from the show in flagrante delicto—the first four scenes feature Gilligan, Mary Ann, Ginger, and the Professor being seduced in quick succession by pornstars; and then, the first sex scene which doesn't involve a pornstar is, oddly, the Skipper and Mrs. Howell, a combination that really just confused us.

Things do pick up after that, with a threeway scene featuring Ginger, Mary Ann, and Gilligan, but then, alas, it's all over, with a rather unsatisfying, slapdash ending.

Then again, these complaints only matter if you're actually looking for a porn that's somehow true to the story of "Gilligan's Island"—if you're a loyalist who'd desperately like to see an erotic reimagining of the tale of the passengers and crew of the S.S. Minnow.

If, on the other hand, you're more interested in watching hot sex scenes featuring the likes of Regan Reese, Sindee Jennings, Ryder Skye, Daryl Hanah, Anthony Rosano, Evan Stone, Jack Lawrence, Tom Fontana, and Voodoo, well, get ready to fastforward through the minimal plot and enjoy.

*****

Previously: "This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX": Our Latest Guilty Pleasure Porn Parody

“This Ain’t Gilligan’s Island XXX”: Our Latest Guilty Pleasure Porn Parody

DCypher — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 16:00:00 EDT

Sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale full of girls sexy hot, that started out in a pervert's mind and ended up on Fleshbot.

In a never ending sea of emulation, one high caliber release must compete against another as they vie for the title of Porn Parody of the Year—a category which doesn't quite yet exist, but which should and probably will soon. Sitting idly by and watching our favorite childhood television series, particularly the ones that dominated holiday television marathons, get transformed into tawdry pornographic vehicles for cheap kicks (and piles of money) gives us quite a thrill, to be honest. It's become our newest guilty pleasure.

Which is why when we got our hands on the stills from impending Hustler release, "This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX" from Anton Slayer, we couldn't wait a day before sharing them with you. Our greedy little hearts did a back flip to see that the all-star cast included Anthony Rosano as Gilligan, Ryder Skye as Ginger, Sindee Jennings as Mary Ann, Jack Lawrence as the Professor, Rod Fontana as the Skipper, Darryl Hannah as Mrs. Howell and Dick Nasty as Thurston Howell III, along with performances by Voodoo, Evan Stone, Regan Reese and Jason Silver.

Slayer, who also directed "This Ain't the Munsters XXX," was given free reign to explore the series and came up with a three hour tour de force we won't soon forget. Honestly, we've been waiting since puberty to really see someone nail Ginger (who may indeed have been the very first red we ever fell for). Not to mention Mary Ann, whose youthful exuberance and downright upbeat attitude make us want to drill her at full bunny speed until the juice runs down her legs and into her jean shorts. That pearly white smile has been taunting us for years, demanding that we drop a freshly churned load of fuck butter onto her grill and call it a day.

"This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX" is slated for release at the end of April, but you can check out a peek now because, you know, we're Fleshbot. Enjoy.

· Hustler (hustlervideo.com)

Kitty Caulfield Is Never Fully Dressed With A Smile

Gram Ponante — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 16:00:00 EST

Enough of that sneering; I work damn hard for that oversize testicular payload. Relative porn newcomer Kitty Caulfield might not remember the departed Mr. Rourke's exhortation of "Smiles, everyone—smiles!" but she lives it.

The chipper and zippy porn vignette movie "MILF Date 3" features Caulfield as an aficionado of "bulgie-eyed dogs" and an artisan of acrylic jewelry reproductions who doesn't have to try very hard to seduce Anthony Rosano.

The 5'11" Caulfield might easily be mistaken for the equally amicable testarossa Audrey Hollander, but I like that I live in a world where both can co-exist peacefully. All Caulfield's parts are sexy, but they are made exponentially more delightful by her smile.

With scant movies and Internet scenes to her name, Caulfield might get lost in the MILF flood, which would be a shame.

But not as big a shame as the fact that Eddie Powell's excellent little feel-good movie isn't about milves at all, but cougars.

We will not sleep until this terminological inexactitude is made right. (We don't sleep anyway.)

. . .

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)
· Buy "MILF Date 3" (gamelink.com)

They Are The Champions: AVN Award Winners In Action

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 13:00:00 EST

The AVN Awards have come and gone, but the pornstars they celebrate are forever—as is their award-winning porn. This week, we'd like to take a moment to celebrate the performers who took home top honors.

From Best New Web Starlet to Female Performer Of The Year, these pornstars are truly the best of the best (at least according to the awards board)—and since you deserve the best, we'd like to bring you in on the celebration with this fabulous collection of clips depicting this year's award winners in action.

. . .

Best New Web Starlet: Bree Olsen (pornhub.com)

Best Web Starlet: Catalina Cruz

Crossover Star of the Year: Katie Morgan (megaporn.com)

Best MILF/Cougar Performer: Lisa Ann

Female Performer Of The Year: Jenna Haze (pornhub.com)

Best New Starlet: Stoya: From "Stoya Sexy Hot"

Male Performer Of The Year: James Deen (pornhub.com)

Best Male Newcomer: Anthony Rosano (lubetube.com)

*****

Previously: Top Ten Video Archive

And The AVN Award Winners Are...

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 11:30:01 EST

What a night we had at the Mandalay Bay—so many stars, so many laughs... Flavor Flav—but we all know that's not the important part. What really matters is the awards, and who won them.

So who was crowned with glory, and who was left to cry into their dirty martini? View a selection of the award winners below (the full list is available at avn.com).

Best Film - "Cry Wolf," Vivid Entertainment Group
Best Male Newcomer - Anthony Rosano
Best Actor - Evan Stone, "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge"
Male Performer of the Year- James Deen
Best New Web Starlet - Bree Olson
Web Starlet of the Year - Catalina Cruz
Best New Starlet - Stoya
Best Actress - Jessica Drake, "Fallen," Wicked Pictures
Best Director Feature - Joone, "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge"
Female Performer of the Year - Jenna Haze
Best Video Feature - Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge
MILF/Cougar Performer of the Year - Lisa Ann
The Jenna Jameson Crossover Star Of The Year - Katie Morgan

· 2009 AVN Award-Winners Announced (avn.com)