· Zoo Weekly looks out for the environment by recycling some Keeley Hazell beach photos. Must be some kind of belated Earth Day thing. (dailypoa.com)

· If you're having trouble slithering your way out of a sticky situation because of all that Astroglide you ordered, try consulting this slick list of slippery excuses. (homemade-sex-toys.com)

· Kira Kener settles her lawsuit against Vivid, in which she claimed she got a disease from a previously used sex toy. Sterilization is your friend, people! (cbs2.com)

· We like Benny Bennassi as much as the next perv, but to describe his videos as "X-rated hardcore pornography" is stretching the truth just a bit. Sigh ... if only ... (cnews.canoe.ca)

· In France, American Apparel ads come with tits. Why does American Apparel hate America? (wetamericandream.com)

· An Arkansas man wants $20,000 because his teenage sons were "disturbed" by finding "The Whole Lesbian Sex Book" in their local library. Disturbed? Is that what the kids call it these days? (nwaonline.net)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· We'd recognize Jessica Biel anywhere. Her superstar baseball hero boyfriend? Never heard of him. (usmagazine.com, more photos @ nypost.com)

· An Air Force Staff Sergeant has been suspended after posing for Playboy. This is a delicate issue and we're afraid we can't comment further until we have more evidence. So who has the pictures? (yahoo.com, via sayanythingblog.com)

· Richard Gere leads an anti-AIDS rally for sex workers in Mumbai, India. This is the same guy who taught the world how prostitution is a great way to fall in love with and marry a handsome billionaire. (cbsnews.com)

· Doctors have learned that a virulent new skin infection can be spread by sexual activity. But only if you're doing it right. (usatoday.com)

· "The boundaries between porn and mainstream media culture have become blurred." Tell us about it! It's getting harder and harder for us to separate the good porn from the stuff you find on Fox News. (surinenglish.com)

· A new book discusses the swinging sex lives of women in their 70s. If you end up reading a naughty quote from your own grandma, don't blame us. (seven.com.au)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Yet another important, groundbreaking study of the sort seemingly designed to get picked up on sex blogs shows that most men are easily distracted by pretty women. Thanks for the tip, Professor Obvious ... er, what were we talking about again? (bbc.co.uk)

· Planned Parenthood's new motto is "Safe Is Sexy" and this new ad drives the point home with the sexiest jackhammer and hard hat action we've seen since that "Satisfaction" video. BTW, does anyone know where we can get one of those tearaway jumpsuits? (ppgg.org, via Adrants)

· Jamie-Lynn Sigler celebrates the return of her maiden name with a new cover shoot for Maxim. The photos are great and she's definitely not afraid posing in her underwear ... but sooner or later, we hope the cutest Soprano is going to up the ante and lose a little more fabric. (maximonline.com + youtube.com - thanks Sanj)

· Baylor University—which, uncoincidentally, is the world's largest Baptist college—has threatened to expel any female students who end up in Playboy's forthcoming "Girls of the Big 12" issue. Any male students caught "reading" said issue will, of course, be asked to loan it out when they're done. (chron.com)

· "Can I buy you a drink?" is a pretty reliable opening line, but it might backfire if your intended target finds one of these STD warning coasters at the bottom of their glass. Although, think of all the drunken 2:00 a.m. mistakes that could have been avoided if every bar dished these babies out during last call ... (blogcadre.com - thanks S.)

· Christie's in Paris prepares for "the erotic sale of the century" next week: over 1200 items from the Gérard Nordmann Library, including an original manuscript of "The Story of O." and correspondence by the Marquis de Sade. Maybe we can find some other use for those paddles we have lying around the office? (telegraph.co.uk, via Tiny Nibbles)

· The lack of universal health insurance is certainly hurting this country, but going door-to-door to offer free breasts exams isn't the answer. Especially when you aren't a doctor. (nbc6.net, via Sploid)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives