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We debated about how we should frame this feature. Should we take names and URLs out? In this case, since pruning those things from the press release would be too much goddamn work and because, we reasoned, the client should not suffer double jeopardy by losing both precious Internet traffic and also money by not having his gibbon write his press releases, we decided to present the work in its entirety.

Hot Girls and Kung Fu!

Just when you thought you've seen it all, along comes Hot Girls and Kung Fu in a website called Girls Gone Climbing (www.GirlsGoneClimbing.com). The newest site from webmaster Johnny Martinez, combines both martial arts clips and sexy female photos along with games, videos, cartoons and much more.

With thousands of photos of sexy women both uploaded from Johnny and his visitors, their are not enough hours in the day to go through the ever increasing gallery. To top it all off if you need a break from that you can take a look at some of the greatest martial arts scenes ever made!

"I combined two things that I enjoy and it appears that lot's of other surfers do too! Last week Girls Gone Climbing.com was even discussed on Sirius Satellite Radio by Jason Ellis on the Faction channel! Well not so much discussed, it was more like: 'Oh my God! Oh my God!' Then a lot of expletives and sexual innuendos haha" said Johnny via a conference call. "It started out as a hobby and now the website is taking off quicker then I ever imagined. It's taken on a life of its own and I add new items everyday."

"Some days I add pictures of hot girls, funny videos, entertaining online games or a combo of them all. I've even started a weird photos area called 'WTF Is That?' which is becoming very popular because every photo makes you think: What the F Is That??! It's become a really fun site that people love and they keep coming back because they find new stuff every day to make them laugh or forget about the stress in life!"

When asked how the name Girls Gone Climbing actually started and what it has to do with rating photos of women, his answer was one of the funniest and strangest we have ever heard.

"A year ago I partnered with a friend on my first social networking website called InnerDrama.com. It's like MySpace.com but for fans of celebrity news and gossip but he flaked out. A little bit later he wanted to do a social network for rock climbing fans...then he decided a rock climbing site for girls. It was a flop and he flaked a second time but I kept the domain. Months later I was using it as a test site for some photo rating software but people liked it and I took it from there. So now "Girls Gone Climbing" literally means "girls trying to climb to the top of the ratings with their photos." The site I was preparing for was a photo rating site for ugly women but I haven't gotten back to it yet. When I do, you're welcome to submit your mom's photo!" said Johnny.

May God have mercy on your soul.

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Previously: Movies We Know Will Suck Dept.: "Lindsay HoHand"

· It's a few months old (at least), but we couldn't resist sharing this photo reposted from BME on a blog called Horrible Tattoos—which apparently is the place for anyone who has a problem with two penises coming out of someone's ass. And butterflies. Why do you hate butterflies? (horribletattoos.blogspot.com)

· Hey, we're big fans of public sex, but maybe a public pool is not the best choice of venue for it. Although "I was just showing off my new breast implants" is a pretty good alibi. (wesh.com)

· A golf course, on the other hand, is perfect for strippers, lap dances, and sex acts. That would certainly help the TV ratings for most PGA events. (with video! @ poconorecord.com)

· Life is sweet at Florida's only (legal) clothing-optional beach. Maybe not as fun as the golf course or the pool, but still sweet. (beaconnewspaper.com)

· Yeah ... why should public nudity be illegal? Look at all the fun we're having with it. (americanchronicle.com)

· The first two people to be charged under the CAN-SPAM act are found guilty of sending unsolicited porn emails. The good news is they can quit their job and earn thousands a week working from prison! (infoworld.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· When Cameron Diaz goes surfing, she goes surfing in a bikini. It's starting again already! (egotastic.com)

· Welcome to Gatwick Airport. Do you have any strippers you would like to declare? (timesonline.co.uk)

· Is Flickr (ie. Yahoo) blocking content for users in Germany and Southeast Asia? Does a bear ... you know? (Boing Boing)

· An alleged "spam king" will remain in jail after being denied bail, which is too bad because he could have easily earned that money in just a few hours a day while working from home! (chron.com)

· A couple in Punta Gorda, Florida, joined the Several Stories High Club, but got caught while having sex high above the city. Did we mention they were on a crane? (sun-herald.com)

· A Minnesota county gets serious about strip clubs by thinking about preparing an interim ordinance that will then maybe allow for them to consider possibly adopting new regulations after giving the issue some serious study. Government in action, folks. (avn.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Danielle Lloyd pretends to secretly be a lesbian for the benefit of Zoo Weekly readers. We have no problem with this. (gorillamask.net)

· Kelly Preston is on vacation at the beach, but without her pasty husband. We definitely have no problem with this. (egotastic.com)

· According to a new survey, email spam is a greater problem than ever, but Americans are "less bothered" by it than they used to be. We've believe the phrase you're looking for is "too emotionally shattered to fight back." (xbiz.com)

· PETA is once holding its World's Sexiest Vegetarian contest. Did they just do this a little while ago or have we been working here too long? (peta2.com)

· It seems Australians aren't so happy about their local nude car wash, after all. Perhaps it's because everyone in town suddenly can't keep their car out of the mud. (news.com.au)

· Six strippers in Tampa, Florida, are arrested and charged with "nudity-related" offenses. They might have trouble with their alibi, since, you know ... they work in a damn strip club. (tampabays10.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Hey, look ... it's pictures of Paris Hilton and Jenna Jameson hanging out together! Nothing suspicious about that, right? (toxicmagazine.com)

· Oh by the way, Russian gangsters are luring Windows users to malicious websites by promising pictures of Paris Hilton and Jenna Jameson. But seriously, that above link is totally cool. You trust us don't you? (informationweek.com)

· If you'd rather not take chances, you can just enjoy this gallery of completely random and unrelated photos of topless girls at the beach. Things like this don't have to make sense. (attuworld.com)

· Officials at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson Airport are cracking down on sex in the public restrooms, presumably by informing people that sex in an airport bathroom does not qualify you for the Mile High Club. (wyff4.com)

· In America, it's big faceless chain stores that replace all the mom and pop operations. In Japan, they get replaced by sex shops. Mom and Pop probably needed to retire, anyway. (mainichi-msn.co.jp)

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· So Joe Francis hasn't even been in jail for two days and he's already been accused of bribing a guard and possessing contraband pills. Add that to the tax evasion and contempt of court and this guy is on fire! (newsherald.com)

· It seems that at least one of our Gawker brothers and sisters actually reads Playboy for the articles. We suppose somebody has to. (Gawker)

· If Amazon.com is sending you emails recommending a new vibrator, chances are they know something you don't. (theregister.co.uk)

· A Japanese corporate ritual going on this month involves serious business men dressed in nude body suits that make them look like big breasted women. Oh, someone has got to send us pictures of that. (theaustralian.news.com.au)

· A new study says that when presented with nude photos men will usually look at the face first, before looking at other parts of the body. That's our story and we're sticking to it. (livescience.com)

· Breckenridge, Colorado's Women of Ski Patrol 2007-2008 (sorta) nude calendar is on sale now. But we haven't even worn out our 2006-2007 calendars yet! (summitdaily.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Fergie's boyfriend shows her exactly what he would like to do with all them humps. Hint: It has something to do with buttfloss. (egotastic.com)

· Meanwhile, the NY Times is too coy to say what Harry Potter's junk looks like as Daniel Radcliff makes his long-awaited nude stage debut ... and if any of those 14 year old fans sneaking into the show have any opinions on the matter, they ain't tellin'. (nytimes.com)

· Ladies, now you can take booze anywhere you want by stuffing your bra with it. With a fuller rack and beer googles, there's no way you're going home alone. (thrillist.com)

· Or fill it with Gatorade for your next workout. Just make sure you protect your "girls" from all that bouncing. (excal.on.ca)

· First, he bangs a stewardess while she's on duty, now Ralph Fiennes is holding four-girl pool parties at his hotel. Who knew the man was such a prolific cocksmith? (thesun.co.uk)

· A rather depressing report informs us that porno spam is at an all-time low. How will we find hot, nasty sluts who want to meet us in our area TONIGHT?!!! (xbiz.com)

· The Washington Post gets to the tight, sculpted bottom of vaginal rejuvenation laser surgery. May your pussy never look a day over 21. (washingtonpost.com, via Gawker)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Remember our old friend Keeley Hazell and her two special friends? They've been laying low for a while and we miss all of them. (dailypoa.blogspot.com)

· Remember the dude whose date cut him open and sucked on his blood? Well, his Valentine's Day was a walk in the park compared to this poor guy. Do they make candy hearts that say, "Sorry I sliced off your wang"? (businessportal24.com)

· Remember that flight attendant who said that nothing happened between her and Ralph Fiennes? Now it occurs to her that they did actually do it the lavatory, and without a condom to boot. No wonder first class tickets are so expensive. (nypost.com)

· Remember when Pittsburgh tried to shut down the city's last remaining porn theater. Well they just bought the place for a million dollars, which is almost what the theater used to charge for their large popcorn combo. (pittsburghlive.com, via avn.com)

· Remember the guy who likes to jog around San Jose's naked? He's come to the realization that the "liberating feeling" of rushing air against your bare skin isn't worth the $95 indecent exposure tickets. (abcnews.go.com)

· Remember when nobody had ever heard of comment spam? Those were some good times, huh? (ap.org)

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· We're flattered that E! News named us a go-to source (along with YouTube, even!) for all your Paris Hilton storage locker needs, but the sad truth is that aside from a few screencaps we had to rely on Google to find everything just like everyone else. (We did, however, use that "Paris Unxposed" line before E! did.) (eonline.com)

· Digital Playground begins the promotional juggernaut for "Pirates 2" with the online release of a teaser trailer that's notable for its complete absence of anything that would inform you it's the sequel to one of the most successful porn films of all time. If you get off on CGI thunder effects and pirate skeletons, however, you might still find something to jerk off to anyway. (digitalplayground.com; more @ AVN)

· Having a third nipple can be awkward, but a third nipple on the bottom of your foot? Sounds like a podophiliac's dream date—and look, Ma, no plastic! (dermatology.cdlib.org, via wfmu.org)

· The government goes after MySpace and Friendster ... again. Pretty soon all their only users will be government agents pretending to be teenagers. (xbiz.com)

· Drink enough vodka and the babes will come to you ... in your mind at least. We can see them already! (YouTube via shedwa.blogspot.com via adrants.com)

· A spammer targeted email marketer will pay a $465,000 fine to the Federal Trade Commission for not playing nicely on the web. Those pills they sent us didn't work, either. (ftc.gov)

· Why did Kelly Ripa cut this guy off? We're sure Regis really wanted to learn what "teabagging" is. (video @ Defamer)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Geektacular pinup queen Brooke Burke shows off her baby bump in a bikini. Not that anyone would notice it below those other two bumps she's always showing off. (wwtdd.com)

· Predictably for this time of year, there's still more fretting over sexy Halloween costumes, this time from Houston. Don't worry, it will all be over soon. (chron.com)

· Condom sales have spiked in South Korea ever since their neighbors to the North decided to get cute with their nuclear program. But if you're worried about the world ending, why bother with the condoms? (wcbstv.com)

· First it was disabled strippers, now it's old dudes in their seventies taking it all off. They're going to drive those poor Chippendales dudes out of business. (sptimes.com)

· Don't believe what they say about the natural occurance of homosexuality in the animal kingdom? Would a photo of two male giraffes getting it on change your mind? You've been warned. (nhm.uio.no + .pdf image @ nature.com)

· Researchers struggle to understand "sexsomniacs"—people who try to fuck while sleeping. What's to understand? No one wants to let a good night's rest get in the way of a little nookie. (yahoo.com)

· Note to spammers: Don't send your penis pill messages from your Hotmail account. We guess those stiffs at Microsoft are not fans of the porn. (xbiz.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· We haven't actually heard her spin, but we still think that Aria Giovanni might be the best DJ in the world. (doubleviking.com)

· Hot on the heels of the custom stripper poles comes the Penthouse shoe collection. Wait ... their models wear shoes? (avn.com)

· According to Asian Sex Gazette, the only thing keeping Pakistan's failing movie houses in business is pornography. It wouldn't hurt to try a similar business model here in the U.S. (asiansexgazette.com)

· We don't care what our silly Gawker brethren say: for a blog written by a woman with two vaginas, we think the name "Box Set" is pretty inspired. (ihavetwovaginas.blogspot.com)

· Community protests shut down the Pure Pleasure Mega Center bookstore. The Pure Pleasure Boutique that opened just down the street with the same phone number is just a coincidence. (courier-journal.com)

· Great ... even stuffed animals are getting in on the penis enlargement craze. How did the spammers even get their email addresses? (sillytown.com)

· One final disturbing image to send you off with this Friday. Do not get into a pissing contest with these guys. You might get killed. (YouTube)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Don't forget to celebrate that all-important birthday this week. Of course, we mean July 5, 1946: the day the bikini became a beacon of freedom for belly buttons everywhere. (sfgate.com)

· In honor of that other holiday, The Smoking Gun brings together its two favorite things about America: mug shots and strippers. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! (thesmokinggun.com)

· Our nerdy little brother Valleywag has more info on Veoh's decision to remove all the smutty goodness from its site. It's all very legal-y, so all we want to know is this: when can we have our free nudity again? (Valleywag)

· Your carpal tunnel syndrome will be a thing of the past
once you get a hold of this new ergonomic keyboard/naughty french maid outfit. No more one handed typing — if you can find a secretary to fill the position, that is. (newlaunches.com, via Gizmodo)

· The French director of the soon-to-be-classic "Little Bulgarian Sluts" is changing the title because Bulgarians don't appreciate having their national symbols mocked. (Go figure.) The movie still features sluts from Bulgaria, but at least no one will be offended by the title. (novinite.com)

· Why do spammers send spam in the first place? Because it works; people click and someone makes money. So why do they click? Because everybody loves porn. (nytimes.com, registration required)

We still think one of the best things you can do with porn spam is create haikus from it in your spare time (e.g., "She wants better sex?/2 nasty lesbian teens/Want to meet you now!"), but digital artist Adam Harvey came up with an even more aesthetically pleasing solution: his colorful, large-scale images are created from thousands of porn spam subject lines mapped onto found porn images. The final results end up looking sort of like what we could probably come up with ourselves after tinkering with a couple of Photoshop filters for a while, but just knowing that giant set of bukkake lips is made up of phrases like "Horny blonde fucks and gets sperm on roof!" gives it that extra bit of artistic frisson that separates true art from the mere dabblings of untalented schmucks like us.

· "From Spam to Porn to Art" (wired.com)
· "Save As" (exhibition info @ ahprojects.com)

Previously: "Every Playboy Centerfold", "76 Blowjobs", "It Smells Like Girl", Eros ex Mathematica, Molecular Smut, Porno to Art, Museum of Porn in Art