Fleshbot: rita faltoyano

The Couches of Europe: Viv Thomas' "Members Only 5"

Gram Ponante — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:20:40 EDT

On squeaky European beds, Europeans with better haircuts than us fuck other Europeans with better cheekbones than us in Viv Thomas' "Members Only 5." While Groucho Marx avoided joining any club that would have him as a member, well, you finish that sentence because I have to pawn all this IKEA furniture and take advantage of those super-low fares to Europia.

I do not know why this series is called "Members Only." Does it have to do with the fact that Viv Thomas primarily shoots girl/girl titles and this one has cocks in it? Or does it have something to do with the fact that I just today signed up for another year of AAA and the gang at the Auto Club decided to send me this instead of Westways? Regardless, all I know is that Sylvia Lauren might as well not be wearing those Daisy Dukes at all.

Later, Rita Faltoyano shows up with a tattooed dude in non-standard black socks. Their couch is a massive thing, carved, it seems, out of a single tree. Jesus Christ! That couch is huge. I hope Rita doesn't call me when she moves, because I've just got one of those mini-SUVs.

We haven't seen Faltoyano stateside in a while since she broke up with Tommy Gunn. I hope things are OK over there. Still, seriously, I'm good for a couple of boxes of books but you've got to call somebody else for that couch.

The only dialogue in the movie occurs in Sene Four between Valery Hilton and her partner. We'll call him Anton.

"What do you think, some whiskey?" Anton asks.

"Um No," Hilton responds, and points at his parts. "This." Aside from turning down the alcohol, Hilton's English meets the standards of the L.A. Unified School District.

With her Sunset Thomas haircut, Cindy Dollar becomes one with what appears to be a low pile plush divan. It looks comfortable, but those things are hard to clean.

· Buy "Members Only 5" (vivthomas.com)

Kirsten Price And Power Tools: A Look Back

Gram Ponante — Fri, 23 May 2008 16:40:01 EDT

Since we once attempted to varnish the Fleshbot coffeetable over Memorial Day weekend, we dusted off the ancient (2005!) "Strapon Toyz" to get in the mood for some home improvement. Even more intriguing than the power drill-powered vibrators was the fact that several of these sturdy pornstresses have bucked tradition and are still making movies three years later.

We told you recently that Tommy Gunn, who directed this movie, likes building things. Here Naudia Nyce is serviced by a woman named Sophia with some Gunn-modified pneumatic tools.

What happened to Sophia? No idea. But lost in current pornography is the scene where women take off their jumpsuits and have nothing on underneath. Jumpsuits. No one wears jumpsuits anymore.

That's Rita Faltoyano working on Shy Love. And Shy Love has indeed had some work done since 2005. No judgment implied - we like all building projects.

· Assassin Pictures (assassinpictures.com)
· Buy "Strapon-Toyz" (gamelink.com)

Kimberly Kane Hits "The Sweet Spot"

Jonnobot — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 18:48:14 EST

DCypher reports: Shot back in porn's last golden age (= about four months ago) when it was acceptable to use tons of hot naked chicks to get your point across instead of things like dialogue, "The Sweet Spot" has a story line thinner than your average porn star's thong underwear: a series of wispy, haiku-esque threads narrated by Kimberly Kane as a sex club owner. Proving that sometimes less does indeed mean more, that translates into more time for smoldering teases by Lux Cassidy, Justine Joli, and Carli Banks and a lot more hot sex.

Check out an exclusive preview gallery after the jump.

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"The Sweet Spot" also stars Hillary Scott, Monica Sweetheart, Rita Faltoyano, Ashley Steel, Annette Schwarz, and Page Morgan. It hits the shelves on January 22.

· Metro Interactive (metrointeractive.com)

Poolside With Rita Faltoyano

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 18:49:06 EDT

We've been running into Rita Faltoyano a lot lately (er, virtually speaking unfortunately) and we've noticed an interesting trend in her various video appearances: Almost every scene that she's in somehow involves a pool. Is there something about large bodies of chlorinated water that makes her particularly horny? And does it only work near pools, or do lakes, oceans, rivers, and/or tidal estuaries get the same results? We've been studying this clip for hours and we still haven't unlocked any clues to her water-borne fixation, but we're going to keep on looking until one of us goes off the deep end.

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· "Rita Faltoyano" (Megarotic)

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