Today in Health: Medicating Mina Meow

Gram Ponante — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 17:00:10 EST

The gangling and pale Mina Meow is having pounding headaches, so she reports to Nurse Natali Demore's office and promptly disrobes after describing her symptoms. Demore immediately chloroforms her and sticks clamps on her buttocks. See? It's just like "Cold Comfort Farm"!

In "Medical Pain Sluts 2," the petite dominatrix Natali Demore clearly has something to prove, else she would treat pain rather than inflict more of it.

Admittedly I was compelled as if by the power of Christ to write something - anything - about anyone calling herself Mina Meow. After all, I thought, could she be the new Strokahontas? But I was drawn into the drama of the scene, which lasted all of ten minutes and which didn't resolve so much as left Ms. Meow curled in a supine fetal position with tubes in her ass.

I suppose it took her mind off the headaches...

· Bondage Orgasms (bondageorgasms.com)
· Buy "Medical Pain Sluts 2" (cduniverse.com)

Job Opportunity: Condom Testers Wanted

Gram Ponante — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 19:36:33 EDT

Unlike tobacco company Brown & Williamson's "Oh, were we trying to sell you cigarettes?" ads, condom concern Durex's clever marketing over the years doesn't cause us to vurp; in fact, it actually makes wearing condoms sound fun, rather than what we have personally experienced it to be. Hence its latest "Condom Tester" contest, in which residents of the United States and Canada can vie for 2,000 spots and $1,000 cash to give their opinions on a variety of Durex products, including vibrating condoms. As long as there are no hammer or vagina dentata tests, we approve.

· Durex Condom Tester Application (durex.com, via xbiz.com)

Previously: The Pants Whisperer: Penis-Based Advertising

Fleshbot: prophylaxis

Today in Health: Medicating Mina Meow

Job Opportunity: Condom Testers Wanted