Shay Jordan Slippage

Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Celeste
Cast: Shay Jordan, Daisy Marie, Jandi Lin, Nautica Thorn, Britney Amber, Nika Noir, Priva, Karina Kay, Ben English, Danny Mountain, Johnny Sins, Tommy Gunn

The first thing you see is Karina Kay writing on the floor, calves bound to thighs, touching herself. This is a marvelously hot way to roll the opening credits.

What you don't realize is that you've essentially watched the whole movie.

In almost every scene, Karina Kay is elaborately bound and placed to the side of the action. So just as Shay and Daisy Marie are freed and fucked out of their nylon ropes, you see Karina on the bed, facing away from the threesome. What is she doing there? No idea. Do they ever touch her? Nope.

Of course, the cast manages to get along fine by themselves. Shay and Daisy are ravenous. Priva and Danny Mountain carry on an intimate anal scene from the comforts of an armchair. Shay's other scenes, one with Danny and the other with Nika Noir and Johnny Sins, are both delightfully spank-heavy. Without fail, all of the scenes are rough and sweaty.

Save for Karina, none of the girls are too hindered by their ropes. Jandi Lin, in one scene, holds Britney Amber's by her leash, and cockchokes her on Tommy Gunn.

Tommy, actually, is the most demobilized member of the cast, as one scene has him completely cocooned in saran wrap. He just lies there like a steak as Nautica Thorn rubs him through the plastic. Eventually she frees him, but part of me wishes she hadn't. Something about Nautica only popping out his penis and hands (the useful parts) and riding him, plastic and all, is fun to watch in a mummy-sex kind of way.

Meanwhile, Karina's just sitting there, watching. Hanging out. Sporting more rope than a Spanish galleon. Looking bored. Not even masturbating.

At one point, Nautica looks at her and says, "You know you want some."

It is then you know for sure that this is all in Karina's head. And her own masturbatory fantasy is staring back at her.

It is then you realize you are Karina Kay.

Shay Jordan and Nika Noir
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Karina Kay
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Karina Kay
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Priva
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Shay Jordan
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Jandi Lin and Britney Amber
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Tommy Gunn, Britney Amber, and Jandi Lin
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Tommy Gunn, Jandi Lin, and Britney Amber
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Jandi Lin, Britney Amber, and Tommy Gunn
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Danny Mountain and Karina Kay
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Nautica Thorn and Tommy Gunn
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Nautica Thorn, Tommy Gunn, and Karina Kay
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Nautica Thorn and Tommy Gunn
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Priva and Danny Mountain
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Priva and Danny Mountain
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Priva and Danny Mountain
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Shay Jordan, Daisy Marie, and Johnny Sins
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Shay Jordan and Danny Mountain
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Shay Jordan, Nika Noir, and Ben English
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Shay Jordan, Nika Noir, and Ben English
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Point of view. It's brilliant. You simply hire the girls you have always wanted to fuck, hold the camera while you nail them, and capture the whole thing for future generations to witness.

That's exactly what Kevin Moore has done. He shoots himself fucking hot chicks like Jenna Haze, Lexi Belle, Brianna Love, Mariah Milano, and Priva, drilling them deep in every position he can think up before unloading down their young pink throats, then passes the bill along to you. Can you believe the nerve of this guy? It's enough to drive us insane!

Luckily, he gets really good footage, allowing us to seamlessly transitions in our minds into the role he is actually playing, and pretend for just one moment that it is indeed us getting the love and not some guy we don't know.

Watching the succulent little Jenna Haze and Lexi Belle worship our throbbing cock is pure poetry. The only thing better or more real would be the actual thing, which is saying a lot if you think about it statistically. We could pseudoscrew these tight little delights in our minds all day long—we should know, because we already do. Kevin just provided us with new angles we hadn't thought of yet.

"Pornstar POV" releases this month from Doghouse. Check out the Monday morning gallery we hooked up for you. There's just one question left: why did it take so long for people to come up with this concept?

Brianna Love
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Jenna Haze
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Jenna Haze
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Jenna Haze
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Jenna Haze
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Brianna Love
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Brianna Love
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Brianna Love
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Brianna Love
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Priva
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Priva
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Priva
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Lexi Belle
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Lexi Belle
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Lexi Belle
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Lexi Belle
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Mariah Milano
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Mariah Milano
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Mariah Milano
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Mariah Milano
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Jenna Haze
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Jenna Haze
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
Priva
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Lexi Belle
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Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)

So when Robby D from Digital Playground makes a movie about Digital Playground contract star Stoya, it takes on a certain significance, and our world comes to a grinding halt until we know all that there is to know about it. So let's start from the beginning.

Through extensive research in the Fleshbot laboratory, we have come to uncover that there is a scientific process involving an intense chemical reaction in our brains not entirely dissimilar to a narcotic rush that occurs whenever Stoya's name is spoken or images of her are seen. Delving perilously further into our experiments we learned that by combining her name, STOYA, with the word HEAT, like something from the Electric Company of our childhoods, we were able to create an exponential kinetic response in our brains, melting them down in a thermonuclear response until they drooled kundalini style down to our throbbing genitals and exploded! Trust us, it was all very professional and scientific. There were charts and test tubes and stuff. We know what we are doing over here.

Our results conclusively and empirically prove that Stoya Heat is more addictive than heroin and crack and cigarettes and Wii combined. You've been warned.

"Stoya Heat" Comes Out Next Week. Here is your free sample to get you hooked. Try to enjoy your holiday weekend now, bitches.

· All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Lucky for us, Robby D thought ahead, anticipating our terrible post cucaracha mood of biting uncertainty and queasiness by cuing up the pan flutes to go along with the soothing sights of Asian goddesses Jandi Lin, Maya Hills, Priva, Shay Jordan, and Bella Ling taking mythical servings of rigid ivory pole up into their soft pink steaming insides. It's like Kane in Kung Fu, only better, because it shows Jandi Lin getting drilled hard by Scott Nails!

Once again, Robby—er, we mean "Jack"—does everything just right, elevating what could easily be a mediocre release into a classic that will delight fans for years to come. If only we could clone him. (Seriously, there ought to be a school where people go to learn to shoot porn, and he would be the Head Master or something. Chuck Norris would be the school mascot.)

"Jack's Asian Adventures 3" comes out today, so you better run out and get it—unless you want Chuck Norris and Robby D showing up to your house and taking a bath...a blood bath, that is. When you finally stop shaking in your panties, check out these snaps.

· Images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Well, it was lesser known... until now. That's where upstart visionary Kevin Moore comes into the picture, courtesy of Pink Visual. Now, we know what you're thinking. This is where we usually bury you under a pleasant but predictable barrage of questionably misogynistic sexual vernacular that makes our curious Jezebel lurkers cringe and flee in horror back to tamer masturbatory fare like Cosmo sex surveys.

We get it—but today just feels different.

And for the record, we've been at this for a hot minute—which means that after a while, it's all kinda like the background on a Flintstones cartoon. We just keep seeing the same thing go by again and again and a-fucking-gain. Different companies knocking off each other's ideas in a cannibalistic race to the bottom of the barrel—the same girls, the same dicks, the same "surprised" look on her face, and nearly identical titles.

After all, there are only so many ways to explain that "mighty meat mallets" or "pendulous pork swords" or "super sized cunt busting fuck hammers" are being "furiously pummeled" into the "sweet snug snatches" or "tight oozing cooze" or "banged out bungholes" of these young, innocent, but oh so willing, "cock addicted" "cum gargling" "fuck junkies"—with a straight face.

What makes this title different (finally) is the director. Kevin Moore just brings a different spirit to his work—and it makes all the difference in the world. The girls just seem to like him, and they open up, have fun, and pour their hearts, cunts, and assholes into the scene as a result. Check it out. They don't just look like they're having a gangster party with a ginormous fuck stick crammed into their grills or juice boxes—they actually are having a gangster party! Hells to the yeah, ninjas!

"Monster Cock Junkies 4" releases this week from Pink Visual. Enjoy responsibly.

· PInk Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Street Walkers

Studio: Daring!
Director: Macondo
Cast: Melissa Black, George Uhl, Ian Scott,Priva, Mahe, Megane, Sarah, Oliver, Cage, J.J.

Review by: Gram Ponante

From the soulful Simply Red-esque synths backing up the main menu, I knew that this streetwalker movie wouldn't be a feel-good hooker with a heart of gold flick or a character study of an irrepressible pixie who makes men feel better about themselves via her body's shameless, sex-positive conduits. No, I knew there was something graver at work.

Jan just got back to Prague and he calls his friends, telling each one that tomorrow night they are to search for some bitches. They find Priva, looking way too good for the corner she's standing on (this is something people need to know about Prague).

She agrees to do Jan and his friend for 150 euros. They get back to Jan's apartment and are hardly in the door before she takes them both on, not even bothering to take off her top.

Because she liked them so much she fucked them without condoms, it is easy to see why afterward she massages their semen into her buttocks.

But Jan is insatiable. All he wants to do during his time in Prague is fuck hookers with buddies. Ivana comes next; she charges 200 euros (I think it's because she's blonde).

The next day, his experiences having been so good and his desire to bond with his amigos over hookers so strong, Jan brings two other dudes with him to pick up a third street walker (Mahe, my favorite), who charges them 300 euros.

But by now, a sort of Paula Cole-ish "Party of Five" soundtrack is playing, leading this viewer to believe that the pathos implied by the DVD Menu has evaporated, or that director Macondo was just going through his music library looking for tracks that fit the scene length. Shocking.

Jan takes a break but then gets right back on it.

"I haven't fucked for two days," he says. "I'm full of sperm."

Two guys this time. She makes a deal for 100 euros (so there goers my Blonde Is More Expensive theory).

At the end of the week Jan is exhausted. He has been drinking all night and a hooker familiar to him really gives him a hard sell. Despite wheedling her down to 100 euros and extracting promises from her that she will massage him and make him coffee, Jan still appears sluggardly and ungrateful. But he eventually musters some enthusiasm.

The gritty, rain-washed streets of Prague are beautiful, as are the hookers gritty, rain-washed, and beautiful. It was a let down to discover that the movie didn't actually have the plot the music suggested, but it was still an excellent travelogue.

"Street Walkers" provides a fantastical portrait of securing hookers: they're never as pretty and they never let three dudes ride them bareback. At least there wasn't any kissing; that would have been a dealbreaker.

And I don't know if the recent economic downturn has affected prostie prices, but the 850 euros Jan and friends spent converts to about $1100. Not a bad bargain. You can't get a tray of appetizers at the Grand Lux for that little, much less a hooker.

· Daring (daringsex.com)
· Buy "Street Walkers" (gamelink.com)

All the stranger, then, to call such an opus "Sticky Knickers."

What drives these single-named Eurohotties to this warehouse where they encounter men on a lingerie-coordinated couch that changes upholstery between scenes? It is fair to say that only they know. Still, it must have freed up some money for a dialogue coach.

Each scene begins with some masturbation (for you, anyway) set to house music. Then our heroine is joined by one or two Eurofellers.

Why does the guy on the right look like a character from "Dick Tracy" if a lot of the camera angles suggest "Batman"? As Priva might say, "It is a puzzlement."

The final scene featured two zesty, tasty women who nevertheless consernted to be filmed (and their scene to be edited) by a crazy person. The camera did not linger long on any body part for long, and I wanted it to. Compared to the rest of the movie, it seemed as if the day crew left and the night crew arrived bearing only a lime couch tarp and some meth. Sad, because I wanted to eat these women for breakfast and elevenses.

Just so you know, no one's knickers got particularly sticky; they came off pretty fast, and probably dried by the time the scene was over.

· Daring Media (daringsex.com)
· Buy "Sticky Knickers" (gamelink.com)

* * * * *

Previously: The Couches of Europe

. . .

All images courtesy Digital Playground

· "Filth Comes First 3" (DVD info and trailer @ store.digitalplayground.com)

You might see a different America than the one Everhard experienced in his travels ... but this is his POV (and his Anal Prostitutes On Video), not yours. Check out more of his field research reports in the preview gallery from "Anal POV 5" below.

· "Anal POV 5" Gallery
· Erik Everhard's "Anal POV 5" (more pics + trailer @ julesjordanvideo.com)

Oh, and it's not every day we get to post a preview gallery as hot as the one for "Invasian 3" which you'll find after the jump. (See? It really is something different!)

. . .

· Order "Invasian 3" (Adult DVD Empire)
· "Invasian 3" (more previews @ julesjordanvideo.com)

"Cheerleaders" will be available on Blu-Ray and snail-disc on April 4. We're hoping "Stewardesses" is next.

· "Cheerleaders" (hardcore trailers @ digitalplayground.com)
· Order: "Cheerleaders" (Blu-Ray) (Adult DVD Empire)