The Perversion

Studio: Grey Art
Directors: Sasha Grey and Oren Cohen
Cast: Sasha Grey, Evie Dellatoso, Kiera King, Sindee Jennings, Faye Reagan, Nikki Rhodes, Tommy Gunn, Nick Manning, Dane Cross

Like "The Birthday Party," "The Perversion" balances hardcore with high art; not only is it satisfying to watch, but it gives you something to talk about around the water cooler with, you know, the co-workers who understand you. The movie is described as an exploration of "artistic metaphors of domination and submission," although it's hard to divide the symbols and metaphors from the literal demonstrations of sexual control. But whatever, Sasha Grey wears a cape and looks fucking fantastic.

We probably don't need to tell you how great the sex is, but some things deserve mention. As previously showcased, Dane Cross and Faye Reagan dominate Sindee Jennings through a bizarre mix of camaraderie and exclusion. At one point, they Eiffel Tower her (that is, they join hands as Sindee is fucked by Dane and eats out Faye) with such romance and passion that it almost strips that position of its frat house connotations.

One of the most surprising things about "The Perversion" is how much we enjoyed Nick Manning in his scene with Tommy Gunn and Kiera King. In this vignette, you see Kiera lying on the ground, wearing a leash, and lapping up the puddle of booze spilled on the floor. While the music is still going, Nick and Tommy lumber their enormous frames into the scene, pick Kiera up, and fuck her. All this is standard.

But when the music stops, Nick Manning comes off as a crazed, three-dicked Cerberus barking orders to GAG ON THAT COCK (emphasis his), and yet it somehow fits! Honestly. It's especially menacing juxtaposed with Tommy Gunn's cool, silent, and vicious demeanor.

Seeing Sasha master the women around her is always refreshing, and it's in her scenes with Evie Dellatoso and Nikki Rhodes that the metaphors of domination clearly come across. For example, while pushing around Nikki, she keeps black tape over her nipples. This effectively denies the viewer the full image of her breast; Sasha dominates the imagery.

And dominate she should. Now that Grey Art is pumping out films, she can feel free to show us whatever she'd like.
* * * * *

Previously: What Would Faye Reagan Do (With Sindee Jennings' Face)?

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Zero Tolerance continues their award winning series about rug munchers for the people who love them most. Yes, despite nationwide bans on same sex marriage, Americans continue to purchase erotic materials that show just that—two or more women in the act of committing hardcore homosexual fornication. These girls are clearly hardened sinners, undaunted by the succulent pink folds of juicy pink pussy they dive in unflinchingly all the way up the elbows, cranking out more spray than the first three rows of a Sea World show get hit with.

Mike Quasar leads a merry band of sisters off to eternal damnation with sexy flare, joining them up in every jigsaw position imaginable and adding fodder to our oversized mental masturbation file. He deputizes Julia Ann and Raylene to lead a group of sex-starved sluts through a decadent wasteland devoid of dick.

Their pussy hungry pussy includes Monique Alexander, Courtney Cummz, Sarah Vandella, Brynn Tyler, Kylie Ireland, Missy Stone, Sophia Santi, Audrianna Angel, Bridgette B., Leah, Jackie Daniels, Velicity Von, Amber Ashlee, Taylir Scott, Melissa Jacobs, Cherry Ferretti, Lux Kassidy, Jayden Jaymes, Alyssa Reece, Kim Kennedy, Emy Reyes, Nikki Rhodes, Lexi Stone, Cali Haze, Regan Reese, Kyanna Lee, Skyla Paige, Kirra Lynne, Charley Chase, Georgia Jones, Madelyn Marie, and Louisa Lanewood.

The real question for home viewers and lesbian enthusiasts is not whether the double disc is worth giving the once over, but where to start. We can't help you there, but we can provide you with ample proof of what's inside.

"Girlvana 5" is out now from Zero Tolerance and Quasarman. Get some! You're going to burn in hell anyway, ya big hypocrite. (Just kidding.)

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We can't exactly say "You're doing it wrong!" because it just wouldn't be true. Anyone who isn't involved in this hot wax tease session is doing it wrong. Anyhow, wax sculptures are overrated. These days, all people want to see is girl-on-girl action.

· Buy "Candles" (tlavideo.com)

Since our beloved superheroes, Ava Rose, Nikki Rhodes, and Monica Mayhem, are busy with their own Super Friends Fuckfest, we're going to need some fresh crime fighters to take their places. We don't really have the time for trust-building and demonstrations of superhuman feats; we can only judge heroes by their names. That's where you come in.

Turn yourself into a superhero, complete with alias, strengths, and weaknesses. When you run into the phone booth, who comes out? We promise not to reveal your secret identity. As a show of good faith, I'll let you know my alter-ego:

By day, mild-mannered blogger Ottimo Massimo trolls the internet for nudie pics... But at night, he is Massimorph: the mild-mannered blogger whose penis can transform into any sex toy on the market!

We're not going to force you to make the superhero name sex-centric, but this is Fleshbot, the name should be somewhat erotically-aligned. (And yes, you can present it in limerick form if you'd like.)

Post your entries in the comments section. Next week, we'll give our favorite hero or heroine a brand new copy of Girlfriend Vignettes, Vol. 1!

For now, we'll have to stave off next week's fantasy with last week's fixation.

As always, many thanks to everyone who entered; you all definitively proved your dedication to large breasts. The only exception would be Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man, whose declaration of admiration for miniscule mammaries will surely earn him a spot on the Itty Bitty Titty Committee (it was, nonetheless, a beautiful and moving speech).

Many props go to SexyHard for still repping the limericks, and also for pointing out that breasts are also enjoyed by their owners:

Lynn loves when I suck on her tits.
She cums when I nibble her nips.
They shake and they wobble
As I lick and gobble
Them up like two succulent clits.

But the grand prize goes to Beaker! All four of his haiku were grand, and you should go back and check the others out, but here's one that captures the overall tone:

The poker player
Is in a quandary now.
Two pair ... huge ... she wins!

Ah yes, large boobs do win. And so do you. Congratulations, Beaker! We'll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.

· Monica Mayhem, superhoney of "Girlfriend Vignettes, Vol. 1," via Be The Mask (bethemask.com)

Jayden James and Nikki Rhodes are both gorgeous, charming, and (clearly) creative. Can't you imagine sitting down to a nice meal with the family with one of these girls? Sure, she might have a little food dye on her lips, but as long as no one serves popsicles for dessert, everything will be ok.

* * * * *

Previously: Sticky, Sweet, Serious Work In "Popsicle Play"

· Buy "Popsicle Play" (tlavideo.com)

· Buy "Girlfriend Vignettes, Vol. 1" (tlavideo.com)

Popsicle Play

Studio: Abigail Williams Productions
Director: O. Cohen
Cast: Samantha Ryan, Nika Noir, Ava Rose, Nikki Rhodes, Jayden James, Ann Marie Rios

This movie is wet in the best possible way. The first scene has Nika Noir and Samantha Ryan work each other to a slow, screaming lather. They get wet, I get wet (which really isn't supposed to happen, I'm a guy), and it's literally raining on them the entire time. Sadly, a popsicle is missing from this scene, but there was a delightful, popsicle-colored vibrator in use.

Actually, the absence of popsicles was a bit concerning at times. Certain scenes—like Nika and Samantha's—could've used one, especially when the cover shows an intimate moment between the girls involving a Cherry Pineapple Big Stick. Ann Marie Rios has the only solo work in the film, and she is also missing a frozen treat. Then again, what she lacks in sugar, she more than makes up with seething. She masturbates like a schizophrenic, half-laughing/half-crying to the point of blazing orgasm.

On the other hand, I'm happy the popsicles were few. It makes them exciting! Jayden James and Nikki Rhodes start off their scene with some intense snack time: holding a Firecracker in her teeth, Jayden colors Nikki's nipples red. Then the girls double-team-deepthroat the ice lolly down to the stick. Have you ever wished your penis were a popsicle? You will.

But it's important to remember that the popsicle isn't a surrogate penis, and you shouldn't be projecting yourself onto unhealthy snacks. For one, you could never have intercourse because sugar is bad for the vagina and is prone to cause yeast infections (The More You Know!). Besides, remember what Belladonna taught us?

Second, it's ok to identify with girls in porn, even lesbian porn; accept your desire for both the active and passive roles! Really, when you're watching Darryl Hannah mouthfuck Ava Rose with a popsicle, and the camera is so close that you can read the joke off the stick, you'd be silly if you didn't want to be one of the girls.

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That's because in less than a week Wicked Pictures will be declassifying all of their files on "Operation Tropical Stormy"—which is their high tech way of saying they're releasing the movie. Shot in such exotic locations as Hawaii and Chatsworth, OTS is the fiscally irresponsible sequel to Stormy's blockbuster porn epic—"Operation Desert Stormy."

Once again, secret agents Rachel and George (Stormy Daniels and Evan Stone) are paired up. Having just saved the world and been promoted, they reward themselves with a relaxing cruise that leaves them stranded on a jaguar and sex-crazed cannibal infested jungle hellhole. Oh, and it's also the secret lair of North Korean playboy dictator Kim Jong-Il. Despite the incredible duress they are perpetually under (with the threat of imminent death comically lurking behind every single moment on the island), the two manage to squeeze in just about as much ball-draining, snatch-quenching fuck action as a couple of horny honeymooners at a swingers convention in Jamaica.

Joining Miss Daniels and Mister Stone are a burgeoning cast of morally uninhibited young strumpets including Anabelle Lee, Nikki Rhodes, Devon Lee, Gianna Lynn, Mikayla Mendez, Mya Luanna, Shyla Stylez, Sammy Rhodes, Carolyn Reese, Havana Ginger, Renae Cruz, Desiree Diam, Mia Lelani, and Bella Ling. A cast of that size seems like reason enough to give this monster a look.

Whether or not this sequel will pack the punch of its predecessor, which garnered such lofty awards as AVN's 2008 "Best Comedy", XRCO's 2008 "Best Director", Nightmove's "First Choice," and 2008 Empire Award's "Best Overall DVD", "Best Feature", "Editor's Choice Best Video" and "Viewer's Choice Best Video", we cannot say. For now, we're just too busy pouring over the embarrassment of riches they included in promotional materials and waiting for our Operation Tropical Stormy Coconut Rum Flavored Lube to arrive—which should be here any minute now.

"Operation Tropical Stormy" floods onto streets at high tide next week. Check out our exclusive sneak peek now. And to Stormy Daniels we say—good luck with both this amazing looking movie and your Senate bid!

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And when it comes to this "trouble" with young girls, well, we aren't sure what Wicked Pictures performer slash director Randy Spears is complaining about, because we weren't paying attention to the plot of this movie—at all!

First things first, though. Penthouse Pet of the Year Runner Up and Fleshbot Crush Object Shawna Lenee finds herself in a wonderfully sticky position with the hottest Italian girl we've seen in forever, Franzuaka Facella, along with little Lindsey Meadows. Geez, Randy, you had to break the big guns out right away, didn't you? Now how are we supposed to finish this movie? We just sat totally mesmerized by this luscious trio climbing tongue first into each others cracks and pink puckers. Oh, how we heart dirty little angel Shawna Lenee!

Then—as if that weren't enough—Spears gives us Wicked contract star Alektra Blue working up a naughty sweat, as the insatiable cock lover takes a beautiful fucking deep up into her sexy body. Follow that up with Penthouse Pet Tori Black in yet another incendiary ball draining scene, Brittney Amber scorching the lens, and last but oh so not least, tattooed strawberry delight Nikki Rhodes getting drilled until her entire body turns from nacre to soft pink blush.

Is there anyone out there who doesn't understand now that Randy Spears is the man? No? Good. Well done, old friend. Thank you for turning in a movie worth purchasing in these tough economic times. Trust us when we tell you the real "Trouble with Young Girls" is that Mr. Spears can't make a sequel fast enough.

"The Trouble With Young Girls" comes out this week from Wicked Pictures. You will love it.

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)

So Jennaration X Studios and Jules Jordan aren't technically releasing "Jenna Haze's Cum Spoiled Sluts" until next week, but what can we say? We're spoiled too—and we can't wait to share this unbelievable gallery of pix from the special edition double disc set with you now. Quite simply, it doesn't get much better than this, and—precedent be damned—we're not going to wait another week to brag. So if you wanna call us petulant or privileged, you go right ahead.

But we're pretty sure that after you see luscious award winning nymphomaniac Jenna Haze taking multiple powerful dicks down deep in her tiny wet holes—along with a near perfect cast that includes Bobbi Starr, Riley Evans, Nikki Rhodes, and Alyssa Hill—any objections to our access will melt away faster than cum dries. Oh, and did we mention that the movie is over 4 hours long? Seriously people, it's like Jenna's killing ants with a sledgehammer.

And as if getting her puckered pinkness pried open by two monster cum drooling meat missiles wasn't enough, Jenna then proceeds to fuck the hell out of red velvet she devil seductress heart breaker Nikki Rhodes before the two proceed to swap cock and cum. Point. Set. Match. Stick a fork in us—cause we're done! Well played, Miss Haze. Well played indeed.

"Jenna Haze's Cum Spoiled Sluts" releases on the 23rd. It may be touted as the 1st DVD release directed by and starring Jenna Haze, but we promise you, it won't be the last. Dear Buddha, this thing is ridiculously good.

· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

And what if your secretary was Sasha Grey? Smash Pictures explores this deviously brilliant notion in their latest wonderful sex fantasy "Secretary's Day 3"—and we couldn't be happier to see it on this frisky Monday morning. Seeing one of our all time favorite starlets undressed and bent over a desk, taking a foot of black cock; why, it's the perfect start to the week, and a great beginning for this new release.

Add to that a smoldering hot lesbian scene with drop dead gorgeous muff diver Celeste Star & curvy beauty Georgia (not to mention redophile daydream Nikki Rhodes taking the pounding of her sweet young life with sexy librarian glasses on), and what would generally be a run-of-the-mill, cliché wall-to-wall is elevated into the "must see" category fast! We're pretty sure we've all but demolished the remote to our DVD player at this point, and are still in a state of total disbelief at how well volume 3 came together.

But don't just take our word for it, by all means, check out the preview gallery—which also features Sarah Vandella getting plowed hard and Mackenzee Pierce having a go at the office plumber (played by Eric Everhard).

"Secretary's Day 3" releases this Thursday from Smash Pictures. We can't believe it either!

·

These days, you can find her in the porn world, where at least the sucking involves something slightly sexier than a vacuum tube. Want to see her in action? Tenaya's making her porno debut in "A Woman's Touch" (also starring Charlie Laine, Nikki Rhodes, Louisa Lanewood, Alyssa Reece, and Zoe Britton). Want to know more? Check out our exclusive photos below.

· Abigail Productions (abigailproductions.com)
· Adult Source Media (adultsourcemedia.com)

Nikki, who turns 27 today, plays it cool in the second shot, hiding her celestially beleaguered pudenda from view, but she seems to be worried, because after that she has gone to the doctor to get it checked out.

Don’t fret, Nikki==it’s only when fiery debris starts shooting out of your junk that you really need to take steps.

Bio data courtesy of the Internet Adult Film Database

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Say they thought it would be the finest way to create a commentary on our disposable, excremental culture. They might have come up with something like this. Maybe. If they were all locked in different rooms and told to write 5 pages, and then Al Goldstein compiled those pages into a semi-coherent script, removing all the big words he didn't understand along the way.

Abysmal acting irreconcilably collides with campy hijinks in the 2nd installment of Wicked Pictures' "Kung Fu Nurses A Go-Go," directed by Mark Stone with, honestly, less than stellar results. It's like the whole movie is one bad inside joke that the rest of us aren't in on. Karate fighting nurses battle over immobile patients before a sexy strip off against a rival school of semi-articulate tramps, inadvertently making reality television look infinitely more watchable. Seriously, if you were trying to make a movie look porno, it wouldn't look like this porno. Take note, Kevin Smith, in case you need a sequel to "Zack & Miri."

The only thing that redeems the title is the cast, which includes sexy young thing Aiden Starr (who no longer returns our calls now that she's famous), along with Nikki Rhodes, Marie Luv, Bridgette B., Crissy Moon, Marlee Moore, Sindee Jennings, and Mya Luanna. Watching them attempt to act is like chewing tinfoil with fresh fillings, but the minute they get their clothes off it readily becomes apparent why we adore them so. We can (and have) watched Aiden fuck all day long... delicious.

So it's not brilliant—but it is brilliantly bad, and that's something, right? Maybe John Cougar Mellencamp was onto something there all along (despite the feathered hair). Check the trailer below along with our exclusive set.

· "Kung Fu Nurses A Go-Go 2" (wickedpictures.com)

Well, since we're here we might as well tell you that "Teens Like It Big" stars such convincing porn teens as Kacey Jordan, Madison Scott, Hailey Young, Nikki Rhodes, Samantha Sin, Madison Ivy, and (most especially) Lexi Belle, all of whom prove in scene after smoldering scene that ... well, they really do like it big. Not just "a little oversized" or even "economy size"; we're talking like Billy Glide, fire hydrant, traffic cone big. Or pretty close, But yeah, big.

So what if the economy is a mess and our foreign policy is in turmoil and the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket? It's still nice to know that there are at least a few things you can count on—and that watching Lexi Belle have strenuous intercourse with a giant one eyed wonder worm happens to be one of them.

• Teens Like It Big (teenslikeitbig.com)
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The bad news is that you're probably not going to have to think too hard about this one. The good news is that you're probably not going to have to think too hard about this one.

. . .

Supporting the Latina heartbreaker with a Texas accent and superior cocksucking skills are Katie Morgan, Nikki Rhodes and Renae Cruz, along with Evan Stone, Steven St. Croix, and Voodoo.

· Wicked (wickedpictures.com)
· Order: "Fired" (Adult DVD Empire)