In a recent press release, Steven Hirsch, co-chairman of Vivid, notes, "Carrie says the tape was 'the biggest mistake of my life.' That may be, but she can take this mistake and turn it into cold, hard cash. I'm more convinced than ever that this could be our best-selling Vivid-Celeb tape."

While we respect the general making of lemons into lemonade, perhaps this "mistake" wouldn't seem so serious if people weren't so hyped up about a sex tape. We realize that Ms. Prejean hasn't handled her media presence with grace, and we don't agree with (or even care about) her opinions on same-sex marriage, but she's done nothing wrong.

Everyone has a sex tape. At worst, they are minor embarrassments, not scarlet letters. The sooner we stop scandalizing sex and nudity, the more sex and nudity we get to see. Isn't that what everyone really wants?

· Cover star, Alexis Texas as Carrie Prejean in "You're Nailin' Palin" via Hustler (hustlercash.com)

Last Friday, the house that Larry Flynt built announced that it would be offering a $500,000 contract to the recently deposed Miss California, Carrie Prejean. Yes, if Carrie agrees to star in upcoming interactive parody porn "You're Nailin' Palin" (as Miss California, natch), a cool half-million dollars could all be hers. [NB: Is it a sign of the times that the value of PR stunt contracts have dipped fifty percent?]

Of course, not all of us are Carrie Prejean—but never fear, Hustler has a job opportunity for those of us who aren't former beauty queens, too. Intrepid souls with an interest in porn and good office and computer skills can apply for the job of administrative/editorial assistant at Hustler Magazine. Hey, who said print was dead?

· Hustler to Carrie Prejean, be our Miss Calipornia for 500k? (hustlerworld.com)
· Work at Hustler! (hustlerworld.com)

See, the photos were taken on a windy day, in between other photos, and she wasn't aware that she was being snapped with her breasts out! And what's more, they were unauthorized!

To be honest, her explanation isn't as farfetched as it sounds—especially since, at present, we haven't actually seen the uncensored versions of the photos, and there's no guarantee that the photos are that scandalous (TMZ is known to be liberal with the stars, you might say). And we gotta say—homophobic though she may be, we really feel bad for Carrie Prejean. No one should have to do this much explaining for some beyond softcore modeling photos.

Now, we understand that there's apparently some scandal about Carrie not telling the Miss California officials about these photos. But you know what the real scandal is? The fact that TMZ hasn't released uncensored versions of these photos. How are we to know just how scandalized we're supposed to feel if we can't see any nipple?

UPDATE: Carrie Prejean responds.

· Miss California Topless — Oops, She Did It Again (tmz.com)

Now Vivid is getting in on the action, too, offering Carrie Prejean one million dollars to star in one of their films. Which really leaves just one question: should Carrie be offended that she's been offered the same amount of money as Octomom? (Oh, that and: Vivid, seriously, WTF?)

· Miss California — Define 'Semi-Nude' (tmz.com)
· Miss California Offered Million Dollar Porn Role (tmz.com)