· If Lindsay Lohan made "wear more bikinis in front of the paparazzi" her New Year's resolution, then 2007 is off to a great start. No nipples or vagina shots, of course, but it is only Day 3. (egotastic.com)

· Tera Patrick has a couple of tips for those who resolved to get more nookie this year. Our tip: Set your sights a little lower than Tera Patrick. (fhmus.com)

· One of our favorites names in the business, Stormy Daniels has nabbed a recurring role on the new Courtney Cox show "Dirt." Perhaps Courtney could return the favor and appear in Stormy's next flick? (xbix.com + avn.com)

· A mannequin fetishist could face life in prison, because he keep breaking into stores to get at the plastic ladies. Maybe we should all chip in and get this guy a Real Doll? (freep.com)

· Thanks to those lousy shoplifters, condoms are moving back behind the pharmacy counter. The good news is that now everyone at Walgreens will know you're getting laid. (jsonline.com)

· So what is the big deal with two sheriff's officers starring in an online sex video with a female escort? Isn't that how everyone relaxes on the weekend? (torontosun.com)

· A boy in Utah gets hardcore porn instead of the Xbox 360 game that should have been in the package he received as a gift, proving once again that these things always happen in threes. (sltrib.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· A concert promoter is using photos of Britney, Paris, and Lindsay's exposed hoo-has to gain attention for their event. Are they trying to convince people to not show up? (adage.com)

· Meanwhile, we'd much rather see Britney helping to spread a little holiday cheer via Christmas cards like this. God knows she's helped make our December a little merrier as far as web traffic is concerned. (prettyontheoutside.typepad.com, via Pink Is The New Blog)

· Massive multi-player online role playing games are pretty geeky, unless the role you're playing is a strip club manager. Then it's just kinda sad. (hittintheclubs.com)

· Speaking of geeks, you should get the special one in your life a solar powered USB bikini. If the girl who is wearing it isn't hot enough, maybe you can plug in a toaster or something. (Gizmodo)

· The always plucky Kelly Brook enjoys the power of latex, though she might want to look into trying a bit of talcum powder or corn starch next time to help with any further potential chafing issues. Trust us—we know whereof we speak. (mannysbabes.blogspot.com)

· We all know about Jell-O and mud wrestling, but mashed potato wrestling? Where do they find enough gravy? (stltoday.com)

· Here's a handy guide for businessmen looking for some grown up fun in Chicago ... in 1959. If you ever find yourself at a time travelers' convention, this will be perfect. (iowahawk.typepad.com, via Boing Boing)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· What do you think Dora plans to explore with this? We know some pervs out there who could definitely get an education with that toy. (amazon.com)

· Lindsay Lohan, on the other hand, never seems to learn anything. We guess she figures if the world has seen it once, there's no use in hiding it anymore. Do we have enough material to launch LindsayLohanUpskirt.com yet? (wwtdd.com; also spotted @ taxidrivermovie.com)

· A time-honored Las Vegas tradition dies as escort agencies will no longer be able to pass out leaflets to random pedestrians. Looks like you'll have to find your hookers the old-fashioned way—in the phone book. (lasvegassun.com)

· Clueless parents in Syracuse cancel a high school dance after they discover what "freak dancing" is. They must also be a little worried about this Y2K thing everyone is talking about. (syracuse.com)

· Meanwhile, another school district is curious as to what its superintendent did with $12,000 of taxpayer money, including $350 he dropped a strip club in one night. He just likes to reach out to the kids. (wnyt.com)

· It's the golden rule of advertising: no matter what you're selling, it'll sell better ifyour TV commercial must feature a hot babe. Now you know why. (YouTube, via adrants.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Yesterday's Lindsay Lohan crotch shot mystery deepens as some sites are now reporting that her panties have suddenly reappeared, although we have to admit we're still not entirely convinced either way. After all, which version of this now infamous photo looks more fake to you? Rest assured that we here at Fleshbot promise to get to the bottom of this crucial question just as soon as we can. It's not like we have anything better to do than stare at crotches all day anyway.

· "FAKE?" (wwtdd.com)

Previously: Celebrity CrotchWatch™: Lindsay Lohan Upskirt (?)

If Lindsay Lohan's goal for fall is to get mentioned on Fleshbot every single day, she's off to a good start. It seems that everyone's favorite amateur bikini model has taken the "no white after Labor Day" rule a little too far and thrown out all her cotton panties. The pervy blogger community is naturally skeptical, since a full-frontal shot of the Exhausted One is almost too good to be true, but until someone steps up to prove definitively that these photos are fake, we're going to go ahead and declare this to be clean-shaven evidence of Miss Lohan's womanhood just for the heck of it. (In case you haven't noticed, journalistic credibility isn't really an issue for Gawker Media properties.) Feel free to start your own "thorough investigation" and let us know what you think.

· "Lindsay Lohan Upskirt. Real Or Fake?" (taxidrivermovie.com)
· "LINDSAY LOHAN IS CLEAN SHAVEN" (wwtdd.com)

Previously: Lindsay Lohan Archives

· This just in: the Department of Homeland Security has raised the Lindsay Lohan Fake Boob Alert Level to "Orange." If this were an actual emergency, you could hide under her rack. (Defamer)

· Playboy overhears something about a soccer tournament and arrives to the party a day late. (Hey, they only had a month!) We said we were done talking about football, but boobies is boobies. (fuckingmotherfucker.com)

· We've seen pictures of Albert Einstein and even by the standards of theoretical physics professors, he was pretty goofy looking. So how did he manage to pull down six different girlfriends? Were they relativity groupies? (reuters.com)

· Remember Stacey Dash, the girl who played Alicia Silverstone's cute best friend from the movie "Clueless"? Well, this is what she looks like 10 years older and naked. Better late then never, we always say. (dailyniner.com)

· A film featuring hardcore sex scenes will debut at the Tate Modern gallery in London this fall. How do you know it's art and not porn? Because it's in a museum silly. (independent.co.uk)

· We confess that can't figure out this ad. Are they trying to sell socks to stuff in your pants, oversized underwear to cover your enormous johnson, or convince insecure men to join a gym? All we know is $7 for a pair of tube socks is a fucking rip-off. (copyranter.blogspot.com)

*****
Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Since hot female celebrities seem to be magnetically drawn to the water, the next couple of months are to the paparazzi (and celebrity flesh bloggers) what tax season is to accountants: there's plenty of work to be done. You, on the other hand, will have it much easier. There've been so many celebrity swimsuit photos floating around the blog scene this week that we decided to help you out and pull together some of the greatest hits into one easy-to-digest package. It's still early July, so there's more where this came from, but this should get you caught up on the latest tanned cleavage, stomach tattoos, and lightly sanded butts of your favorite famous beachgoers.

But don't let this keep you from getting some sun yourself this weekend—you look a little pale, kiddo. Make sure you get your ass outside after you check out the links after the jump, k?

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· Courteney Cox-Arquette (sans daughter and nipples) + Linday Lohan 1, 2 and 3 (with video!) (egotastic.com)

· Jennifer Ellison (gorillamask.net)

· Jessica Alba (socialitelife.com)

· Jessica Biel (wwtdd.com)

· Pamela Anderson + Kristin Cavallari (idontlikeyouinthatway.com)

· Rachel Hunter 1 and 2 (hollywoodtuna.com)

· Teri Hatcher + Michelle Rodriguez (yeeeah.com)

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Previously: Magnum Bikini Photos, Celebrity NippleWatch™: Courteney Cox Arquette, Celebrity NippleWatch™: Keira Knightley, Bikini Piano, Celebrity NippleWatch™: Victoria Silvstedt, Spring Break Cancun, Girls Gone Wild Megagallery, Ladies of AVP: Beach Volleyball Hotness, Nude Beach Girls, Sharapova 2006 Sports Illustrated Gallery

The good folks at this newish babelog site hit upon a simple yet brilliant idea we wish we'd thought of a long time ago: rather than waiting around for naked pictures of, say, Famke Janssen or Jessica Simpson to surface, why not simply search the online omniverse for their dirty dopplegangers instead and let your imagination do the rest? Purists might balk at the self imposed chicanery involved, but we here at Fleshbot promise you after extensive experimentation over the weekend that if you squint hard enough and/or down a couple of shots of Nyquil beforehand, you won't be able to tell the difference between Lindsay Lohan and Heidi Honey after all.

· The Porn Spot (thepornspot.org - thanks C.)

Previously: "Shania" Sex Tape (Not), Meet Pamela Sandersin, Trixie Teen for American Apparel, Mary-Kate Lookalike, Two Of Her