We couldn't be happier with the results—well, short of being invited into the juicy action. "Wife Switch 8" features ten couples who are all (ahem) totally brand new to the art of swapping, trying out the swinger thing for the very first time! Okay, we don't buy it either, but we're willing to go along for the ride. That's why it's called suspension of disbelief, right?

The very first scene brought memories flooding back to us. Alex Sanders, Mark Zane, Monica Mayhem, and long lost Penny Flame (of VH1 fame) all get crazy in a four way pile up that is as impressive as it is mesmerizing to watch. Our favorite new Huffington Post blogger shines like a diamond as the meat to this crazy sex sandwich (not to mention the instigator) chowing down on Monica Mayhem's juice box before pairing off with her new lover's boyfriend. The scene delivers a punch, with Mark Zane keeping the heat on.

The rest of the movie, including the scenes with Alex Star, Jay Lassiter, Mackenzie Star, Velicity Von, Anthony Rosano, Justin Magnum, Kayla Carrera, Sara Jessie, Jessica Bangkok, Joey Brass, Kylee Reese, and Scott Lyons, are just as interesting to watch. But the second scene of the show caught our attention just a little more—by about four extra inches in length and three extra inches around.

Claire Dames, Friday, Lee Stone, and the legendary Sledge Hammer put on a show that we could not look away from. Seriously, it was like mixing porn with Cirque De Soleil, minus the clowns and the tight wire. The scene featured acrobatics, heavy lifting, contortionists, sword swallowing, partner exchanging, and death defying acts of cunt stuffing! C'est tres magnifique!

"Wife Switch 8" releases this week from Pink Visual and Blue Moon Productions. Check out this mega ultra super gallery! It's swaptastic!

Just like in previous volumes of the series, Mike takes his time and pays extra attention to the casting process, selecting the finest, freakiest girls the industry has to offer right now and then putting them through the paces. Volume four stars Kylee Reese, Carmen McCarthy, Andy San Dimas, Vanessa Leon, Gracie Glam, and Roxy Reed.

Kylee Reese puts on a blindfold. Then Sean Michaels fucks the holy living hell out of her creamy white ass with his rigid tool. We are still haunted by how authentically ecstatic her deep moans sound when Sean gets his cock even half way up her quivering honey pot.

Vanessa Leon takes a rodeo fucking in her wet cooch while just trying to hold on for dear life. Gracie Glam takes on two guys at once, licking up some man ass while getting drilled behind like the dirty fucking slut she is. Roxy Reed takes a hot load of cum in her tiny asshole after being fucked in it by a monster rod.

At the end of the day, it's sultry punk rock sex goddess Andy San Dimas who wins us over. The amazing fucking she takes, then gives back, will forever be seared into our memories. Is this the face that launched a thousand loads? Yes. It truly is...and her tits and ass are pretty amazing too. Fuck us Andy looks amazing with a hard cock jammed up her tiny clam.

Don't just take our word for it though. Go ahead and paw through the sampler they sent over and see if we're lying. "Peep Show 4" drops this week from Mike John courtesy of Jules Jordan Video. You know what to do.

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Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

Who doesn't love a parade, so long as they don't have to clean up afterward? Unlike the disturbing lyrical imagery of Jim Morrison's "Soft Parade,"the engines that effortlessly hum in this "Hard Parade" are engines of lust.

Consumers of commercial pornography want the same things as ordinary people everywhere. In a dying economy that, coupled with free internet porn, was totally killing the industry we know and love so well, they overwhelming reacted to corny spoofs of their favorite television shows and movies. They just wanted a little fanfare, to embrace the familiar and known, coupled with a soft and friendly place to satisfy their urges. So Hustler gave it to them. Then others copied their success. And now, like Hindus and Muslims in India, it's on like mofo donkey kong bitches!!! The war for porn spoof supremacy has officially been cranked up a notch.

Hot on the heels of their blockbuster chart topping "Star Trek" spoof, they go and drop an ode to Gordon Ramsay's hit cooking reality show "Hell's Kitchen," starring Marcus London as the iconic mercurial TV chef who weaves a tapestry of obscenities with the same superfluous ease with which he makes a souffle. Lording over a cast of supreme hotties that include luscious young Kagney Linn Karter, Missy Stone, Aiden Starr, Veronica Rayne, Callie Dee, and Kylee Reese, London singles out smoking hot "it" girl of the moment Kagney Linn Karter to marinate his sausage up inside. Her tiny lubricious mouth and pussy help Marcus churn up a fresh batch of piping hot fuck butter that he sprays all over her face.

Other noteworthy performances include the ridiculously hot little sex machine Aiden Starr. Is there anyone she can't fuck? We heart you, Aiden. So very very much.

"This Ain't Hells Kitchen XXX" is set to release by the end of this month but we wanna show you this exclusive sneak peek now. It ain't tricking if you got it. Now check the set...and break on through to the other side.

Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
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Well, maybe that's not exactly how he would describe "The Brother Load," but trust us when we tell you that we see some ominous parallels between the works.

Take, for examplem the scintillating opening scene, where we watch our favorite dirty little angel Jenna Haze take yet another ball draining drilling deep up into her lusciously pink crevices. Clearly it is meant to mirror the way Paris absconded with Helen so he could have her all to himself, greedy bastard that he was. He paid the price, but who wouldn't be willing to weather the anger of the king of gonzo porn for a few stolen hours of indescribable pleasure with one of the hottest, most insatiable sluts the world has ever known?

And then there is the way CJ Wright literally dominates a stunned and breathless Serra Paylin Lisa Ann, which is not entirely dissimilar to the way King Agamemnon had his way with lovely young Chryseis when she became his most treasured prize. That's pretty much how we'd describe getting to nail Lisa Ann: valuable beyond measure.

Which leads us to believe that the six man gangbang that young Cecilia Vega lovingly endures in her lubricious drooling holes, with six throbbing one-eyed monsters spitting hot milky cream on her as a reward for all her sexy work, could only be a Cyclops allegory about racial transcendence, right?

Which brings us to the end of our lesson today on Greek Poetry. Just to recap here, "The Brother Load," stars Jenna Haze, Lisa Ann, Kylee Reese, Andi Anderson, Tori Black, and Cecilia Vega. It's from Chris Streams and Jules Jordan Video, and comes out at the end of this week, but we wanted you to see this goodness now. Happy Monday!

· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

We've always like rocking director Mark Stone. He's got great ideas and amazing execution—plus his taste in girls is choice! So it's not that big of a shock to realize that we're loving his newest effort under the "Reform School Girls" series. Volume 5 is the shit.

Chase Taylor, Arianna Armani, Holly Fox, Jaime Elle, Jessica Steele, Kylee Reese, and Cayden Moore make up the student body of Hedly Reform School. Like something out of a modern day reality television show, these young ladies continue in the gloriously lecherous tradition of being punished for sundry misdeeds, perceived and otherwise, by curiously attentive staffers with throbbing needs of their own. It's a real "hands-on" learning experience. Yeah, we were saving that one just for this series.

Truth be told, we're not even that interested in the plot. We happen to really dig this cast—but most especially, we could spend hours upon hours watching sweet young Kylee Reese work her vagtastic magic. Reese swears that she used to share a desk in school with Alaskan beauty Ava Rose, which gives us serious pause... if only to wonder what the hell they put in the water up there.

"Reform School Girls 5" comes out this week from Wicked Pictures. Your homework assignment this week is to go out and get it.

· "Reform School Girls 5" (wickedpictures.com)

Just look at her face while she squirts—that might be pure new millennium porn, but if she had a volleyball in one hand, she’d look like she was in one of those old nudist films full of smiling blonde people frolicking in the sunshine. And what a delightful look on her face as she shows off that little slice of B-cup underboob…

With any luck, Kylee is smiling just as widely today as she is in most of these pictures and having just as much fun –after all, today is her birthday; the Reno, Nevada native turns 23. Even though it’s kind of grey outside right now, with winter lying across the sky, looking at her does make things a little brighter – Happy Birthday, Kylee!

Bio data courtesy of the Internet Adult Film Database

· Internet Adult Film Database (www.iafd.com)
· Kylee Reese at IAFD.com (iafd.com)
· Buy Kylee Reese’s movies (gamelink.com)

Naturally, Larry Flynt understands our dark and unseemly post holiday desires better than any living human being to walk the planet since the Marquis De Sade. You better believe he does! Once again, the creator of Barely Legal has sallied forth to offer us sweet, sticky relief. Like a pornographic Willy Wonka, Mr. Flynt has anticipated desires we didn't even know we had yet, pervertedly blending niches and leaving us with the cream filled goodness. The results of legal teen + cream pie are so extraordinarily satisfying they leave us feeling greedier than Veruca Salt trying to steal a golden egg laying goose.

The aptly titled "Teen Cream" stars Fleshbot Crush Object Faye Reagan, along with Annie Cruz, Jacky Joy, Kylee Reese, and Ruby Ryder. Each young beauty turns in a precociously lively performance, ripe with a frenzied and unrestrained desire finally fulfilled, then revels in the gloriously milky wonder that runs like a river of silky goodness down their ravished and trembling inner thighs and into their cracks. Those of us known for our debilitating redophilia have spent hours pouring over Faye Reagan's performance, knowing only too well that if her boy-girl on screen couplings are limited, her cream pie scenes are virtually non-existent. So far as we know (and we would know these things), this may be the only one in existence!

"Teen Cream" is available now at finer smut stores the world over and as well as onlin the world wide web. Masturbate responsibly.

· Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)

· "Hag Out" with Claire Dames (myspace.com)
· Kylee Reese (myspace.com)

Night of the Giving Head

A security guard (Christian) responds to a call at a hilltop house. Getting no response to his knock, he enters and looks around. No one appears home. Suddenly, a dozen topless female zombies (led by Zombie Queen Caroline Pierce) appear and rip off his clothes, shouting "More come! More cock!"

I really don't know why this is supposed to be scary, because I can't recall anything more wonderful.

According to scientists, sperma-rays from a passing comet have infected women to the point that they will sap a man of his most precious bodily fluid, and the only way to neutralize the sperm zombies is to squirt whipped cream in their mouths.

"Let's go fuck them up," says a quartet of zombie hunters sequestered in another part of the house.

This is a ridiculous and delightful porn movie that is light on effects and plot but heavy (sometimes especially heavy) on game women unafraid to walk around like zombies bellowing "More coooooock." It is like the movie every eighth grader wants to make.

Why are all these juicy women shuffling around the house and how did they get there? It just doesn't matter, because once the sperm zombies are dosed with whipped cream, they become very affectionate toward each other. Symbiosis.

As the credits rolled on what I thought was a blissfully short movie, I noticed some names, like Amber Rayne's, in the credits that I hadn't seen in the movie. I realized I had a faulty DVD. Tinkering with it yielded the first half of the movie which now acted as a prequel to the part I'd already seen.

In the beginning, we see Rayne as the sperm disease's Patient Zero, and her post=blowjob shuffle across the hills of Chatsworth screaming "More Come! More Cock!" ranks as one of the most vividly realized performances in this awards season.

With a fun surfbilly soundtrack, Night of the Giving Head is great background fare for any over-18 Halloween party.

Studio: Rodney Moore
Director: Rodney Moore
Cast: Caroline Pierce, Rucca Page, Kylee Reese, Claire Dames, Nikki Rhodes, Samantha Sin, Amber Rayne, Rodney Moore, Christian

Review by: Gram Ponante

· Rodney Moore (rodneymoore.com)
· Buy "Night of the Giving Head" (gamelink.com)

"So you fuck it?"

We have been eager to show you this title but we keep getting waylaid, as if by "Pirates". A niche that (mostly) finds clothed women giving handjobs to naked men, this example of CFNM involves the likes of Abbey Brooks, Sophie Dee, Heather Gables, and Kylee Reese, among others, in configurations such as Jailer/Jailed, Pie Fucker/Gaggle, and Comatose Man/Nurses.

Not an inch of the five separate parts of the female anatomy commonly seen in porn is exposed in "Attack of the C.F.N.M.," and that may be disappointing to some viewers. But as Thomas Jefferson said, "I may not agree with your choice to not show Abbey Brooks' boobies, but I will fight to the death for your right to not compromise a porn niche sacred to maybe two dozen Americans."

While humiliation is a factor in some of these scenarios, at least the fellows enjoy some release at the end of their ordeal. Such as this guy, who probably hasn't seen too many good times since the royalty checks for "Two Princes" stopped coming.

· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)
· Buy "Attack of the CFNM" (gamelink.com)

Or at least that's what Larry Flynt and his Hustler minion are banking on in their "Barely Legal Little Runaways" series—along with the hope that viewers will be able to suspend their disbelief enough to imagine that porn starlets well over the age of consent can still somehow be exploited teens desperately in need of a quick fix and a sofa to crash on for the night. (Far be it for us to judge, though: along with MILFS, rubber ape suits, squirting, and the inner vaginal orgasm, legal teen runaways serve an important role in the fetish pantheon even if we don't fully understand it.)

In the meantime, "Barely Legal Little Runaways" sees director Erica McLean continuing to spin off her late husband's "Barely Legal" franchise with a stellar cast including the appopriately named Faye Runaway along with Jenny Hendrix, Sindee Jennings, Kylee Reese, Trisha Rey and the breathtakingly beautiful Jamie Langford. Still, as incisive social commentary we find the series already lacking: we spent hours pouring over the footage of Billy Glide massaging legal teen runaway Jenny Hendrix’s inner labia with his rigid vibrating wand but were unable to determine exactly who was exploiting whom after all.

• "Barely Legal Little Runaways" (DVD info @ hustlervideo.com)