Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis and Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt are petitioning the newly convened 111th Congress to provide a financial bailout for the adult entertainment industry.

Adult industry leaders Flynt and Francis sent a joint request to Congress asking for $5 billion in federal assistance, “Just to see us through hard times,” Francis said. “Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation’s most important businesses, we feel we deserve the same consideration. In difficult economic times, Americans turn to entertainment for relief. More and more, the kind of entertainment they turn to is adult entertainment.”

Flynt did not say if the $5 billion would help subsidize employee parking in his building, nor did Francis earmark the funds for his legal fees. But it's all in good fun. Maybe Francis will hook Congress up with some GGW hats and mini-tees if it shows him its titties.

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Girls Gone Wild (girlsgonewild.com)

Honestly, we don't think it even looks like her — that seems to be happening a lot these days — but then, the idea that Ashley would get thrown out of a hotel in Miami and then take her top off for a bunch of drunk frat boys isn't so farfetched either. Plus, it was five years ago ... which would have made the now (supposedly) 22-year-old, um ... 17? Maybe Joe should check those archives again before he gets himself into more trouble.

· "ASHLEY DUPRE IN 'GIRLS GONE WILD' VIDEO" (nypost.com)

Previously: Everything Else You Wanted To Know About Hookers (But Didn't Care Enough To Ask)

· Which sign of the apocalypse involves Pamela Anderson returning to star in the Baywatch movie? Because the end times are clearly here. (hollywoodtuna.com + egotastic.com)

· You'd think a marketing convention would have the best booth babes of all, since those guys really know how to sell things. Oh, it's online marketing? We guess that's okay, too. (adrants.com)

· A single-celled parasite has been found to cause an increased libido in women, but how the heck are you supposed to get her infected with it before your big date? (esquire.com)

· Joe Francis is charged with sexual battery in a Hollywood case that is completely unrelated to his other legal troubles. Now they're just piling on. (hollywood.com)

· Naked robots are part of our future. Or maybe our past, when robots were still made out of felt. (mimikirchner.com)

· Oh, that whole Virginia Tech thing? It's porn's fault, obviously. (xbiz.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Even we won't stoop to making a joke about the first half of Russian hottie Anna Semenovich's last name. Wow, where did that bit of maturity come from? (latenightpictures.com)

· A woman in Rome is in trouble for taking a nude dip in the Trevi fountain in Rome, just like in that movie! No, the other one. (cnn.com)

· A pornstar coalition—including political gadfly Mary Carey—went to Sacramento to protest a proposed California tax on adult businesses. No politicians were laid during the making of this protest. (nbcsandiego.com)

· Today's Joe Francis update: The Girls Gone Wild guru pleads guilty to one of the charges against him and gets 35 days in jail. If he survives the whole month, everyone on his cell block wins a free t-shirt. (firstcoastnews.com)

· San Diego Padres outfielder Brian Giles will only do nudity if it's essential to story of a baseball game. Or if he's just really, really bored. (aolsportsblog.com)

· Idaho State University officials covered the windows at a campus art gallery to keep unsuspecting eyes away from the nude photos. That concludes our coverage of everything that's happening in Idaho. (ktvb.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· So Joe Francis hasn't even been in jail for two days and he's already been accused of bribing a guard and possessing contraband pills. Add that to the tax evasion and contempt of court and this guy is on fire! (newsherald.com)

· It seems that at least one of our Gawker brothers and sisters actually reads Playboy for the articles. We suppose somebody has to. (Gawker)

· If Amazon.com is sending you emails recommending a new vibrator, chances are they know something you don't. (theregister.co.uk)

· A Japanese corporate ritual going on this month involves serious business men dressed in nude body suits that make them look like big breasted women. Oh, someone has got to send us pictures of that. (theaustralian.news.com.au)

· A new study says that when presented with nude photos men will usually look at the face first, before looking at other parts of the body. That's our story and we're sticking to it. (livescience.com)

· Breckenridge, Colorado's Women of Ski Patrol 2007-2008 (sorta) nude calendar is on sale now. But we haven't even worn out our 2006-2007 calendars yet! (summitdaily.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· ABC News does some hardcore investigative journalism and finds out that some pornstars are popular outside of porn! We might have to give these "Jenna Jameson" and "Belladonna" characters a closer look. (abcnews.go.com)

· Here are some helpful pointers for shooting your own homemade smut. The most important tip: Always have sex with beautiful people. (uwaterloo.ca)

· Reno, Nevada, piles on Joe Francis and indicts him for tax evasion, even though he's already in jail in Florida. It's almost as though people don't like him. (lasvegassun.com)

· Angry letters to student newspapers make us smile. Why don't they have a "best pair of breasts of the week" award anyway? (purdueexponent.com)

· UK drinkers can no longer buy a Belgian beer with sorta naked girls on the bottle. Getting piss drunk and hitting on real girls is still allowed, of course. (abc.net.au + drinksint.com)

· Two college swimmers got kicked off their team for streaking, even though they were wearing only slightly less clothing than normal. You want them to move fast, don't you? (thestate.com, via Deadspin)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Charlotte Church will not let her pregnancy or an ill-fitting swimsuit slow her down a bit. The rest of you skinny bitches can go jump off a pier. (thegrumpiest.com + drunkenstepfather.com)

· The newest scourge in cyberspace has a name: "Wilfing." It means aimlessly wandering the internet wondering, "What Was I Looking For?," but it's better known as our day jobs. (sky.com)

· A TV producer wants the governor of Florida to pardon Jim Morrison for rocking out with his cock over 38 years ago. But what good is a rock god without his indecent exposure convictions? (chicagotribune.com)

· If you're trying to fight your pornography addiction, move to Kentucky. Don't worry, we'll still be here when you get back. (wbko.com)

· Did you know that the average North American woman owns six bras, not counting the three that were stolen out of the dryer when they were at the laundromat? (northumberlandtoday.com)

· Let's end with a moment of silence for NYC's dearly departed Condomania, where we used to buy all our rubbers before we realized you can get them for free at just about any gay bar. Still, they will be missed. (racked.com)

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"Girls Gone Wild" svengali Joe Francis is behind bars in Panama City, ironically the place where Ashley Judd found peace in "Ruby in Paradise". Francis was reportedly on his way to turn himself in, having chartered a jet for that purpose, when airport authorities saved him the trouble.

Francis was picked up on a contempt of court charge, ultimately stemming from a 2003 lawsuit filed by women claiming to have been underage when GGW employees filmed them. "Ruby in Paradise" had been filmed ten years earlier, when sweet Ashley Judd was 24. - GP

· "Girls Gone Wild" creator arrested at airport (tmz.com)
· "Girls Gone Wild" Wikipedia entry (wikipedia.org)
· Joe Francis: "Baby, Give Me a Kiss" (latimes.com)
· Dispatches from "Girls Gone Wild" (slate.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive

· Dirty video rental outfit SugarDVD bids $500,000 for the alleged Lauren Conrad sex tape that supposedly doesn't actually exist. Either way, somebody's getting screwed. (avn.com + laurenconrad.com)

· Joe Francis realizes he is not, in fact, above the law and may turn himself in to U.S. Marshals. Take your time, Joe. It's not like a judge can punish you or anything. (emeraldcoast.com)

· Rocío Guirao Díaz reminds us once again why we like Argentina so much. We've never been there, of course, but we're convinced it's as hot as she is. (latenightpictures.com)

· The Autism Society of Florida does not want to be associated with porn,—but hey, if porn still wants to throw a few thousand dollars their way, no problem! (tampabays10.com)

· This ad reminds us of our subway ride this morning, only the subway probably smells much worse. (adsoftheworld.com, via Boing Boing)

· Even though most businesses in New Zealand are forced to close, brothels are allowed to be open on Easter Sunday. A lot of good that does us now. (stuff.co.nz)

· A former strip club sounds like a really great place to attend church, until you find out about the two communion minimum. (newschannel5.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Joe Francis refuses to surrender on contempt of court charges, says "It is a case of a judge gone wild." Zing! Good one, Joe. (Defamer)

· It's not fair to advertise a nude lesbian vampire sex scene between Lucy Liu and Carla Gugino, and then give us sixty seconds of poorly lit fumbling barely worthy of Cinemax. It's just not fair (egotastic.com, also seen @ idontlikeyouinthatway.com)

· Hugh Hefner remembers who Anna Nicole Smith is and says Playboy is planning several promotional tie-ins memorials. Stay strong, buddy. (cnn.com)

· "The 10 Real Reasons Why Geeks Make Better Lovers." Hand us that 8-port wireless router and we'll show you No. 11. (wired.com)

· Emmanuelle Chriqui makes "Entourage" a little bit more watchable. Especially when you can watch her nipples and not the actual show. (wwtdd.com)

· A restaurant gets cited because of their dancing chicken in a bikini. No, not dancing chicks in bikinis. A dancing chicken. Yes, that is what this world is coming to. (nbc5i.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Watch out, y'all ... another "celebrity" sex tape is supposedly hitting the interweb any day now. You'll never care guess who it is! (OK, it's Lauren and Jason from MTV's "The Hills". Hey, there was a time when you didn't know who Kim Kardashian was either.) (entertainmentwise.com)

· Uma Thurman wears her new bikini ... sorta. The suit isn't really serving any purpose at this point. (egotastic.com + hollywoodtuna.com + drunkenstepfather.com)

· "Girls Gone Wild"'s Joe Francis has been ordered to get a little less wild ... in jail. Perhaps his fellow inmates will take off their jumpsuits for him. (sun-sentinel.com)

· So now a nude-but-not-really photo of the sister of an American Idol contestant that everyone hates anyway qualifies as a scandal? Doesn't anyone have drug-fueled hooker orgies anymore? (worldofwonder.net)

· The editor of Playboy Indonesia is suddenly no longer guilty of indecency. We guess they finally got around to reading the articles. (reuters.com)

· Strippers in Florida will now be allowed to get really nasty on stage. We might have to go and exercise some "artistic freedom" of our own. (orlandosentinel.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives