Whore It Up

Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Robby D.
Cast: Rio Valentine, Cindy Hope, Madison Parker, Jayden James, Piper Fontaine, Zerah Jones, Krissy Lynn, Brynn Tyler, Desirae Wood, Kiara Diane, Heather Vahn, Derrick Pierce, Manuel Ferrara, Mick Blue

Poor Manuel Ferrara lost a fight (or something), and now his friends, Mick Blue and Derrick Pierce, are taking him to an upscale brothel where he can forget his woes. Once inside, Pierce asserts himself as master of the house, ordering Rio Valentine around and making her say stuff like "Yes, daddy." The boys hang out with the womenfolk, sampling the various mouths with their mouths and penises. It's all very orderly. Then Pierce retires to a room with Valentine and they confess their love for each other.

Short story made shorter: you only have to endure ten minutes of plot before getting good times in a house full of giddy prostitutes. Hooray!

As in other Robby D. films, the plot of "Whore It Up" is only the first stage rocket intended to free you from the gravity of your humdrum existence. In this case, you (portrayed by Pierce, Blue, and Ferrara) wander around the mansion finding new ladies to feel up. It's pretty much like that movie "Cube" except with semen rather than acid in the face.

The star of the show, and mistress of the house, Rio Valentine has two amazing scenes, first with Derrick Pierce and later with Manuel Ferrara. The first coupling is the most cathartic, as Pierce drops the misogyny and tries to persuade Valentine to go steady with him. Nothing is resolved, but their fuck is a tender one, full of all the tension and class division you'd find in a romance novel (except, you know, hard and fast on a couch).

Personally, I find Valentine's scene with Ferrara much more exciting. Her aggressive sucking is a better interpretation of the "Whore It Up" ethos, and plus, she keeps her glasses on the whole time.

Meanwhile, Mick Blue takes on Cindy Hope, Krissy Lynn, and Zerah Jones, respectfully catering to each woman's needs before he lines their asses up and tears through them all. As much as we admire the man's athleticism, we have to give props to the pussy-powered pit crew that kept Blue going throughout his race. Guiding, lubing, sucking: these gals know how to keep a show going.

But it's not all about orgies in the foyer, we can't forget Madison Parker and Jayden James. Their respective scenes demonstrate so much vicious fuck-drive, it'd be impossible to declare one of them the bottom bitch of the house. All we can be certain of is that Blue and Ferrara shouldn't be able to walk again.

So if you recently got beat up, don't sit around licking your wounds. Go "Whore It Up" and stop whining.

· Buy "Whore It Up" (digitalplayground.com)

Rio Valentine and Manuel Ferrara
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Rio Valentine and Derrick Pierce
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Rio Valentine and Derrick Pierce
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Rio Valentine and Derrick Pierce
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Rio Valentine and Derrick Pierce
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Madison Parker and Mick Blue
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Madison Parker and Mick Blue
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Madison Parker and Mick Blue
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Madison Parker and Mick Blue
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Jayden Jaymes and Manuel Ferrara
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Jayden Jaymes and Manuel Ferrara
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Jayden Jaymes and Manuel Ferrara
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Jayden Jaymes and Manuel Ferrara
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Brynn Tyler and Piper Fontaine
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Rio Valentine and Manuel Ferrara
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Rio Valentine and Manuel Ferrara
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Krissy Lynn, Zerah Jones, Cindy Hope, and Mick Blue
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Krissy Lynn, Zerah Jones, Cindy Hope, and Mick Blue
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Krissy Lynn, Zerah Jones, and Cindy Hope
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Krissy Lynn, Zerah Jones, Cindy Hope, and Mick Blue
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Krissy Lynn, Zerah Jones, Cindy Hope, and Mick Blue
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Krissy Lynn, Zerah Jones, Cindy Hope, and Mick Blue
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Krissy Lynn, Zerah Jones, Cindy Hope and Mick Blue kick off the whortastic Olympics of sex, with the kind of fireworks that sear an indelible image into your eyes. Yeah, it's that good kind of burn. Any single one of these girls on their own would be enough – much less the unholy trio – to drain an average man's nuts in sixty seconds. Mick Blue is like the new God of Fuck.

Rio Valentine and Manuel Ferrara are up next, turning in one amazingly juicy scene. Bodily fluids flow liberally throughout, while the french stud cranks one ear piercing orgasm after another rom Rio's deep throat. She is more beautiful, and talented, than any opera singer we have ever met.

Brynn Tyler, Piper Fontaine share a moment of ineffable Sapphic bliss before Rio makes a "cumback," riding the ever ready rod of pretty boy Derick Pierce like a jockey going for the blue ribbon in the Kentucky Derby. Then sexy bitch Jayden James, who has completely won our hearts over with her luscious curves her irresistable ass, her indefatigable rack, goes wild on Manuel Ferrara. Joy juice spurts in ample measure as he treats her to the kind of proper cunt smashing that only a seasoned whore could bear. Truly anything less would be uncivilized.

Madison Parker rounds it all out by taking Mick Blue for a ride - grinding her hot twat all over his crotch until his hard cock is way up into her lunch. She gulps down his piping fresh load with the zeal of a retired street walker. We couldn't be happier—or prouder.

"Whore It Up" releases from Robby D & Digital Playground next week. Now enjoy a small sample of the goods, graciously provided courtesy of Digital—and behave.

Rio Valentine and Derrick Pierce
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Rio Valentine and Derrick Pierce
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Rio Valentine and Derrick Pierce
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Rio Valentine and Derrick Pierce
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Madison Parker and Mick Blue
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Madison Parker and Mick Blue
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Madison Parker and Mick Blue
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Madison Parker and Mick Blue
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Jayden Jaymes and Manuel Ferrara
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Jayden Jaymes and Manuel Ferrara
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All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Jayden Jaymes and Manuel Ferrara
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All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Jayden Jaymes and Manuel Ferrara
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All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Brynn Tyler and Piper Fontaine
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Rio Valentine and Manuel Ferrara
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Rio Valentine and Manuel Ferrara
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Rio Valentine and Manuel Ferrara
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Krissy Lynn, Zerah Jones, Cindy Hope, and Mick Blue
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All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Krissy Lynn, Zerah Jones, Cindy Hope, and Mick Blue
Buy "Whore It Up" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Krissy Lynn, Zerah Jones, and Cindy Hope
Buy "Whore It Up" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Krissy Lynn, Zerah Jones, Cindy Hope, and Mick Blue
Buy "Whore It Up" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Krissy Lynn, Zerah Jones, Cindy Hope, and Mick Blue
Buy "Whore It Up" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Krissy Lynn, Zerah Jones, Cindy Hope, and Mick Blue
Buy "Whore It Up" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Star Trix: Deep Penetration

Studio: Muffia
Director: uncredited
Cast: Jack Lawrence, Jayden Jaymes, Ryder Skye, Taylor Starr

Review by: Gram Ponante

Miami Internet studio Muffia offers a host of intriguing previews on this DVD, all featuring juicy, stripper/predator Florida-based talent (some of whom we've included in the gallery) with a smattering of Porn Valley transplants.

But "Star Trix," despite the efforts of Jack Lawrence as an understated but fully committed Shatner impersonator and Ryder Skye as a "Stringon" in one of her final boy/girl scenes (she has since moved on to the ladies exclusively), acts like painting Jayden Jaymes green and switching some names around is enough for a porn movie.

There are exactly three sex scenes in this movie, one with Jaymes, one with the listless Taylor Starr as "Uhora," and Skye's interlude with "Shock" at the end, but despite Lawrence's and Skye's best efforts, the movie seems directionless. Indeed, there is no director credited with the effort.

But "Star Trix" is a curiosity as an example of a low-budget, half-hearted attempt to cash in on something that needn't have been, and the best thing about it is the one area on Jaymes that the green paint didn't touch, and where my eyes were drawn as if to a millennial minstrel show.

We're not saying that the porn parody vein (yes, we said "vein") is tapped, but you've got to make some effort, because fans can spend their ejaculate anywhere.

· Muffia (muffia.com)
· Buy "Star Trix: Deep Penetration" (tlavideo.com)

Nevertheless, the results are finally in, with Jayden Jaymes and Shawna Lenee tying for top honors, Priya Rai ranking as Hottest MILF, and Dylan Ryder receiving the title of Hottest Newcomer. Though, frankly, that only makes us more confused: it took them two and a half months to figure that out? Couldn't they tell just by looking at them?

· The Hottest Girl in Porn (thehottestgirlinporn.com, via xbiz.com)

Post volume one, we've learned to skip the subtext and just keep things surface model shallow when it comes to our European smut. Just as a cigar is sometimes just a cigar, most of the time a ripe and freshly fucked bunghole doesn't need a great deal of explanation. You're either totally enthralled or repulsed by seeing a hot ass chick get her back door popped open by a chiseled stud packing the donkey dong. It's more like art appreciation class than rocket science.

Flower Tucci pulls her rosebud so far open that we can practically see her lunch up in her pink tushy hole. Saucy Trina Michaels takes an all out anal assault, then proudly displays the results of her previously puckered pooper. Dirty Whitney Stevens gets split hard in her shitter. Gorgeous sex object Sophie Dee turns her anus into a telescope for your amusement, loving the heavy drilling up her backside before taking an epic load. Add to that a laundry list of all star ass(holes) including Audrey Bitoni, Chayse Evans, Luscious Lopez, Holly West, Mackenzee Pierce, and Jayden Jaymes... and once again we've got a winner.

"Tunnel Butts 2" releases next week, but you can witness the goodness right here and now. Get in where you fit in!

· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

Not too shabby for a snowed in, working from home, the economy is in the toilet Monday, is it?

Leslie takes his asscentric series up several notches, exploring a minutia of minor details that pump life into the fetish. The movie features tag teams, ferocious double penetrations, and ball scorching one-on-one sex, all filed under the label "bootylicious," and kept true to the genre by playing it all close to the source of the buzz, with junk in the trunk shots abounding, and clever angles that showcase the gloriously jiggling heart shaped rump.

There's a lot of delicious teasing as well: long intros that you can skip through or linger in, depending on your mood, and tons and tons of crazy hard sex. Faith Leon—who we'd been dearly missing—is certainly welcome addition to the cast. Her scene is, as always, fuck poetry in motion. Still, it's Jayden James who takes the title with her ample cheeks mesmerizing and charming the fluids joyously out of us.

"Ass Trap 2" releases this week from Evil Angel.

· Evil Angel (evilangel.com)