Some of you may have already been to Wal-Mart and back to stock up on Black Friday specials...but if you're anything like us, Wal-Mart doesn't stock what you really want. Looking to ensure a little kissing (and then some) under the mistletoe this holiday season? Read on for a few sexy gift ideas.

Sexy present: Luna (lunascam.com)

For the porn enthusiast: Sure, you could give someone a porno—but why not give a porno that's special? "Cummin' At You 3D" isn't just any porno: it's a 3D interactive adventure that offers 50,000 possible adventures. And, as an added bonus, it's also got Sindee Jennings squirting...in 3D.

For the onanist: Tired of the sound of one hand fapping? The Real Touch goes one step further than the Fleshlight, offering a masturbation sleeve that fucks you back. Integrated with POV porn to create the realest fantasy money can buy (well, short of hiring an escort, anyway), the Real Touch is sure to please even the chronicest of (male) masturbators.

For the onanista: Masturbation's not just a male game—but what to get the lady who's taken a few trips round the toy box? For a revamped rabbit, try JimmyJane's Form 2—or, for a sensual massage, you can't go wrong with Contour Q. And for the lady who likes a good tongue lashing, well, the ten tongues of the Sqweel are pretty hard to top.

For the calendar lover: Tis the season to stock up on sexy calendars—but with so many on the shelves, how to pick just one? We're personally smitten with Digital Playground's illustrated Contract Star Calendar, featuring fourteen months of hand drawn sexy goodness. (We've got a preview of illustrated Katsuni at left; Stoya, Riley Steele, and Gabriella Fox all look lovely as well.)

Of course, if you prefer a calendar that's more flesh and blood than illustrated girl, there's always the 2010 Sex Blogger Calendar. All proceeds go to benefit Sex Work Awareness—so it's a gift that keeps on giving (and to sex workers, at that!).

For the stylist genital enthusiast: If you're reading Fleshbot, there's a pretty good chance you love pussy, or dick, or both. So why not show the world where your heart lies? Agent Provocateur's Sharon cardigan is festively bedecked with phalluses; the customizable Vulva Portrait Pendant lets you show your love for your very favoritest pussy of all. [Via nymag.com]

For the literary types: Is there anything better than spending an evening in bed with a good lover and a good book? Spending an evening in bed with a good lover and a good book... full of dirty pictures. "Burning Angel: The Book" and "SuicideGirls: Beauty Redefined" are more than happy to sate your cravings for the hot, nude, and tattooed; while "Nerve: The First Ten Years" mixes smart words with sexy pictures. Looking for a little education with your smut? Em and Lo's "Sex: How To Do Everything" may be just the gift you need.

For the lingerie types: Yes, lingerie on Valentine's Day is cheesy and a cliche, but it's for a very good reason: lingerie is hot. Should you choose to go the bra and panties route, skip Victoria's Secret and head straight for Agent Provocateur. Hey, if it's good enough for Maggie Gyllenhall, it's good enough for you.

For the porntastic types: Sure, you could spend your V-Day fapping to some free Flesh Flicks—but why not splurge and spend a little cash on some quality fare? Our top recommendations for this very special Valentine's include "Stoya Sexy Hot," "XOXO Joanna Angel," and "Champion."

· Thumbnail: Faye "Valentine" Reagan enjoys a quiet night with Dane Cross (naughtyamerica.com)

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Just Getting Started

If you've recently met someone, you already know that starting a relationship around Valentine's Day can be a little tricky: on one hand, you want to let your love (or lust) interest know that you like them, but on the other you don't want to risk getting carried away with the whole hearts and flowers routine and scaring them off. So you need a gift that's sweet and cute enough without being too, like, intense.

So If you're just getting to know your date, you'll want to keep it safe — and what's safer than chocolate? Babeland's Bliss Truffles are a tasty little treat, with just a hint of naughtiness to let your special someone know you're looking to take things to the next level.

Starting to explore the sexy side of things, but not quite sure how far you can take it? Give your partner a copy of Ellen Forney's "Lust". Loaded with illustrations of ads from The Stranger's adult personals, it's a great way to open the door for discussing different kinks you might be interested in exploring. And remember: if your would-be partner seems creeped out by anything you come across, you can always pretend you meant it as a joke.

If things are really starting to heat up, you might as well fan the flames with a good old fashioned game of Truth or Dare. The delightfully named Thrusti Kicki Grabbi offers an updated version of this classic that's sure to get things hot and heavy. Bbut you don't have to take our word for it: it's sex blogger approved!

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(Still) Happy Together

Of course, Valentine's Day should always be special whether it's your first, or fifth, or fiftieth one together. But after the first few times round the bend, things can get a little stale: after all, there are only so many different ways to say "I love you", and even fewer ways to say it with flowers. If you're dreading yet another round of the same old same old, check out a few gift ideas to make sure your big night is anything but ordinary.

Sometimes a change of location is all it takes to get things going again - and if it's a change of location that happens to come with sex toys, even better! This Valentine's Day, check in to New York's Bryant Park Hotel and be sure to check out their sex toy room service menu brought to you by the Pleasure Chest. Sure beats anything else you'll find lurking in the minibar. (Except maybe the Toblerone. We love Toblerone).

If a new location isn't doing it for you, maybe you need a few new tricks up your sleeve. So treat yourself and your partner to some adult education. Whether you're brushing up on your blowjobs, shaking your tassels or shooting your own porn, you'll be sure to pick up some skills that will, in fact, bring the sexy back (as teh kids are all saying these days).

Or maybe you need some outside influence to help heat things up. If you're too shy for the swing clubs and too, uh, real for Real Dolls, why not try some good old fashioned porn? Fleshbot crush object Jamye Waxman's "Toying With Pleasure" could be just the assistance you need: couples-focused porn that manages to both educate and titillate, it's a great way to ease into a hot night at home.

At Home Alone

Think Valentine's Day is for wankers? You're right! You may not have a special someone else, but it's still the perfect day to celebrate the most important person in your life: yourself. Start the evening out right by taking the time to relax and show yourself that you still care: light some candles, slip into a bubble bath, and let yourself unwind. And once you're all loosened up ...

Sure, you could just spend the evening with your old pal Rosie Palm (and her five sisters) - but why not make tonight special? If you're feeling a bit spendy, spring for JimmyJane's Little Platinum Eternity: nothing says "I love (to touch) myself" quite like platinum and diamonds. Can't afford the real thing? There's always the Velvet Jewel Vibe, which we hear is just as good. And for the boys: give your hand the night off and let the Fleshlight do the work. Or at least invest in some decent lube. You'll thank yourself in the morning.

If you're more into porn than toys — or believe that one just isn't as much fun without the other — look into some quality wank material to get things going. "Upload" didn't win all those awards at the AVNs this year for nothing, you know. For boy on boy action, Lucas Entertainment's "Gigolo" hits all the right spots. Sure, treating yourself to a new porn DVD is a little more expensive than finding something on Fleshbot to fap over for free, but it's Valentine's Day ... don't you deserve the very best?

In case you forgot, Valentine's Day is next Wednesday—which gives you the rest of this weekend to meet someone, make them your significant other, and score reservations at a fancy restaurant. Once you get those three things down, you'll have to buy a gift too, because no one gets laid on Valentine's Day without a gift. (Sorry, no exceptions.) A dozen roses doesn't cut it these days either, so we're here to help you pick out just the right present to tell that special someone in your life that you would like to see them naked. Check out our handy, next-to-the-last-minute VD gift bonanza or you'll be getting handy by yourself next week.

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Food

First, you need to set the mood. Chocolate is nature's ultimate aphrodisiac, but just to make sure he or she gets the message, try these handmade confections from the Italian craftsmen at Giraudi. On the other hand, a chocolate replica of your own penis, might be a little too obvious.

· Giraudi Chocolates (giraudi.it, via SugarBank)
· Chocolate Clone-a-Willie Kit (chocolatefantasies.com, via radaronline.com)

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Intimate Apparel

Like we said before, the ultimate goal here is sexual contact and nothing plants that particular seed better than some sexy lingerie. You need something that says, "Put these on for 30 seconds, so that I can rip them off you." Start with this panty shopping guide and then pick out the item that best suits your mate, whether it's a lady, a fella ... or a complete geek. Internet protocol jokes never fail to make 'em wet. (For bonus points: stick one of these in there to generate some much needed buzz.)

· "A Practical Guide to Impractical Panties" (metroactive.com)
· "Top 10 Valentine's lingerie for women" + "What about the guys?" (intimateguide.com)
· HTTPanties (thinkgeek.com)
· Heart-Shaped, Wireless Vibrating Panty Insert - Whee! (Gizmodo)

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Toys:

Once you've got them revved up and ready to roll, it's time to close the deal and a good craftsman (or craftswoman) always brings his tools. Get the party started with Atomic Books' "Striptease Kit" (pole not included), then take things up a notch with a Valentine's Day edition of this designer "pleasure object" from Sweden's high-end fun factory Lelo. Bet you won't find that at IKEA.

· Striptease Kit (atomicbooks.com, via largeheartedboy.com)
· "Valentine" (lelo.com)

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Still stumped? Check out these other VD gift guides from About.com and NewYorkology. But whatever you do, do not buy your Valentine a heart-shaped potato. Unless you want you feelings mashed. (Sorry.)

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Previously: Scary Holiday Sex Toy Gift Suggestions, Fleshbot's Sexy Holiday Gift Guide Guide, Fleshbot Shopping Archives, Fleshbot Sex Toy Archives

Sexy gift guides are as much a feature of the seasonal landscape every year as awkward drunken passes at office holiday parties and naked chicks in Santa hats—but instead of making your shopping more efficient, their sheer profusion means you're likely to spend more time picking out the right guide to consult than your presents themselves. So rather than come up with our own list of suggestions for holiday giving this season (most of which you can check out in our archives anyway), we thought we'd be even more helpful and present you with an annotated list of some of the more notable sexy gift guides out there. If you give up and end up wrapping up one of those packaged cheese and sausage boxes for Aunt Eunice again this year, you'll have only yourself to blame.

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Fleshbot's Sexy Holiday Gift Guide Guide

· Top 10 Luxury Sex Toy Christmas Gifts for the Holidays (about.com)

Pro: Rightfully pegs The Cone as "this year's Christmas sex toy 'it' gift."
Con: Drab About.com layout has all the luxuriously sexy consumer appeal of a medical supply parts catalogue—without the pictures.

See also: "Top 10 Sexy Stocking Stuffers"

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· Eros Zine Holiday Gift Guide (eros-zine.com)

Pro: Lots of interesting items you won't see on everyone else's list—i.e., not an OhMiBod or Je Joue in sight!
Con: We're already bummed enough as it is that Santa still hasn't bought us that collection of miniature Japanese bondage sculptures like we've been asking for all these years.

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· Babeland's Gift Guide by Price: The Perfect Toy for Any Budget (babeland.com)

Pro: Helpfully presents gift suggestions by price, making it easy to shop for both Secret Santas with low spending caps and cheapskates alike.
Con: $14 is still a lot to spend on Chocolate Body Sauce when a bottle of Bosco does the job just as well for under five bucks.

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· 1TrackMind's: Top 10 Holiday Sex Gifts (video @ blip.tv)

Pros: Cohostess Danielle Stewart is sorta cute; lack of compelling video content means you can play this in the background and listen while doing the rest of your holiday shopping elsewhere online.
Cons: No links to buying options; items selected more for dubious humor appeal instead of actual gift giving. (Your mom probably received that candy g-string at her office bachelorette party years ago anyway.)

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· Violet Blue's Sexy Holiday Shopping Guide (sfgate.com)

Pro: The inimitable Violet Blue is considerate enough to remind us that menorahs make less than ideal insertable objects. (Wish we'd read that last year.)
Con: San Francisco-centrist focus means that if you think a pair of "lift and separate" men's underwear would make the perfect present for a sagging friend this season, they'll end up costing you 20 dollars or so plus roundtrip airfare to Castro Street to pick them up.

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· Tristan Taormino's Sexy Gift Guide and Rachel Kramer Bussel's Sexy Gift Guide (villagevoice.com)

Pro: Two sex columnists at the Village Voice means twice the sexy holiday shopping fun.
Con: Two sex columnists at the Village Voice means twice as many lists to peruse, twice as many links to click on, and twice as much confusion trying to decide what to buy for whom (and who recommended it to begin with.) Weren't guides like these supposed to make life easier?

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See also:
· Fleshbot Shopping Archives
· Fleshbot Sex Toy Archives
· Fleshbot Books Archives
· Fleshbot Calendars Archive