Fleshbot: gaping

Mike John's "Elastic Assholes 6": Can You Feel It?

DCypher — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 14:20:15 EDT

Full-time porn director and part-time amateur proctologist Mike Johns added another line to his list of weighty credentials this week with the release of his latest exploration into the elasticity of female nether regions: he's also proved himself to be a theoretical astrophysicist to be reckoned with. See, while you might think "Elastic Assholes 6" is just another excuse for the likes of Velicity Von, Dana DeArmond, Britney Stevens, Adrianna Nicole, Cindy Crawford, and Sarah to strut their stuff, it's really an incredibly detailed exploration of certain discrepancies in the time-space continuum which strongly suggest that certain individuals are not bound by the usual rules of post-Newtonian anal capacity as scientists have understood them these last several hundred years. (One needs only to watch Adrianna Nicole's backside swallowing Sean Michaels in his veritable entirety to understand the magnitude of this discovery.) Take that, Steven Hawking!

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· Order: "Elastic Assholes 6" (Adult DVD Empire)
· "Elastic Assholes 6" (DVD info and trailers @ julesjordanvideo.com)

Up Yours, Eh?: "Anal Cavity Search 4"

DCypher — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:12:21 EDT

Maybe the grounds and standard procedure for a full body cavity search differ in Canada, from whence the mighty Eric Everhard and his mastodon-sized genitalia hail (as clearly evidenced by the maple leaf necklace he sports throughout the video) — but here in America the only way to get this thorough of an investigation into the elasticity and viscosity of your holes is to be deemed an enemy combatant or a suspected heroin smuggler. Despite our fondness for our neighbors to the north, we are suddenly glad we don't live in Canada.

In "Anal Cavity Search 4", Everhard and his accomplices dispense with reason — not to mention probable cause — and get right to the business of intense rectal probing. Surprisingly, there seems to be no shortage of stunning young starlets lining up to take the punishment; the roster this time around includes Fleshbot fave Jenny Hendrix along with Andi Anderson (making, we're told, her DP debut), Jasmine Byrne, Nika, Pamela, Shyla Stylez, and the spritely Aubrey Adams.

"Anal Cavity Search 4" ships this week from Everhard Entertainment and Jules Jordan Video, and we think that Everhard should ask the Canadian Board of Tourism to sponsor his movies from now on in return for his continuing boosterism of his native land. Let's just hope this doesn't become standard procedure for all border crossings from now on, eh?

· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
· Order "Anal Cavity Search 4" (Adult DVD Empire)

Crazy French Porn Director Offers "Psycho Sex"

DCypher — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 16:15:45 EST

During my brief but memorable visit to the AVN Expo this year, I ran into Eurosmut director Pierre Woodman with a frequency that defied statistical probability. In each and every instance, including the day after the show at the registration for Internext, Woodman's ear-to-ear grin was plastered wider and wider until the mildly egomaniacal Frenchman soon most resembled Heath Ledger in the new "Dark Knight" trailer. And then, fittingly enough, just days later I received this gallery of preview pics from his latest opus, "Psycho Sex".

In stores this week, "Psycho Sex" features a cast of Europorn hotties you've probably never heard of including Claudia Rossi, Deniska, Jesica L, Natalli di Angelo and Sarah Rose. There are also a bunch of people in hockey masks. (Yes, Woodman broke out the masks for this baby. Don't ask questions; it's part of his art.)

"Psycho Sex" (DVD info and trailer @ wood-ent.com)

This Week In Porn Titles: "Rim My Gape 3"

Fleshbot — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 12:08:22 EDT

This weekend saw the delivery of the latest installment of one of our favorite "X My Y"-titled porn series to the Fleshbot compound, even if its title presents something of a conundrum: judging from all those yawning orifices on the box cover, one isn't so much invited to skirt around the edges of the holes in question as they are compelled to dive right in. Still, as far as sequels go, it presents less of a challenge than, say, trying to jump into the middle of the "Harry Potter" franchise without seeing each film sequentially from the beginning of the series. So even if you've somehow managed to miss "Rim My Gape" nos. 1 and 2, we promise you won't have any problems figuring out what's going on.

· "Rim My Gape 3" (DVD info @ cduniverse.com)
· Sineplex (sineplex.com)
· "Rim My Gape 3" Trailer (tnaflix.com)

Porn of the Moment: "Gaped Crusaders"

Gram Ponante — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 20:39:55 EST

Make no mistake: Holly Wellin is a rangy and pliant piece of sex jerky, but even seeing her in your mom's cleaning outfit doesn't forgive the total lack of gaping present on the cover of Hustler's "Gaped Crusaders", also starring the darling Mika Tan.

Come on, Hustler! If timid, quivering sites like Fleshbot can show "Cockzilla", you can at least peel us some gapes. - GP

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy "Gaped Crusaders" (gamelink.com)