And we mean dog in the most literal sense: think "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" gone XXX. "Porndogs: The Adventures of Sadie" (currently in post-production) is billing itself as a "mass-market hardcore dog movie;" the tale of a young Labrador who goes into heat for the first time, then runs away to the city to avoid getting spayed (sexual adventures—including dog girl-on-girl—ensue).

And Marilyn's not the only big name included in the cast—Dustin Diamond, Tera Patrick, Evan Seinfeld, and (of course) Ron Jeremy all lend their talents to this tale of a dog fuck dog world.

We're not really sure when (or where) this movie will be screening, but if it happens to appear at a theater near you, please go see it and let us know what you think. We'll be sure to do the same.

· "Porndogs: The Adventures of Sadie" (porndogsthemovie.com)
· "Porndogs: The Adventures of Sadie" (imdb.com)
· Porndogs: A Preview (avn.com)
· Thumbnail: Marilyn Chambers with canine counterpart Sadie (avn.com)

Once again the self proclaimed "rock star pimp" (you wanna dispute it? We thought not!) is hard at work, drilling the lush wet insides out of some of the best top-heavy starlets we've ever seen, including the unforgettable Hunter Bryce—a virtual porn newbie whose amazing rack keeps us up at night.

Add to that sexy little Aiden Starr, the East Coast Italian princess with the tightest pussy in the world to go with those amazing ta-ta's, newcummer Capri Cavelli, Abbey Brooks, and the mysterious Sarah Jessie, and you've got a very impressive collection of hotties.

We'd like to tell you that Mr. Spyder Jonez is saving money by nailing all the girls himself without hiring a single other guy for this series, but we have a sneaking suspicion that the real reason is that he simply has to sample this lusty lot all by himself. Hey, if it were us, we'd do exactly the same thing.

"Smoking Hot Gazongas" comes out this month from Rock Star Pimp, Iron Cross, & Teravision. If you love seeing tattooed guys just flat out wreck sizzling divas with succulent melons, then you're going to lose your mind. Check the gallery and Happy Monday!

· Rock Star Pimp (rockstarpimp.com)
· Teravision (teravision.com)

And for those of you who haven't gotten enough of Evan in the past day, you'll be happy to know he gives out his handle for Gears of War, and is more than happy to take on any comers. Go on, challenge him—it may be your only chance to outmaneuver the legendary Evan Stone.

· Finding Geeks at the Adult Entertainment Expo (geekentertainment.tv)

In the past, Kanye's options would have been limited: as a male pornstar, he would have been expected to fill one very specific role and stick to it (so to speak). But as porn has modernized and professionalized, a broader range of men are being accepted into the porn world, giving Kanye a plethora of role models to emulate (or hey, at least five!).

So let's take a look at some of his choices:

Evan Seinfeld: Evan was a rockstar, Kanye is a rockstar. Evan likes being the center of attention, Kanye likes being the center of attention. The similarities are numerous.

Nick Manning: Come on, you know you can see Kanye shouting "Dropping loads!"

James Deen: At 31, Kanye may be a little too old to compete with 22 year old Male Performer of the Year, but his love of the experimental and alternative culture might leave him with more in common with the alt hottie than the more traditional male pornstars.

Shane Diesel: We're unsure if Kanye could measure up Blackzilla, but we're sure he'd like us to think he can.

POV Pornstar: Could Kanye give up the spotlight to become a nameless cock? It seems unlikely—but so does Kanye doing porn.

· Kanye West Graduates to Porn? (avn.com)

Is it just us or does it look like this guy is trying to make up for something he missed with all this fucking? Eschewing racial stereotypes, and assuming it's not all about being cheap or greedy (how dare you!), we can only presume that the lifestyle this former rock 'n roll front man grew accustomed to, replete with only too willing groupies dropping to their knees on request, has spoiled him. Being married to the reigning Queen of Porn isn't enough. No. He's got to screw EVERYTHING! We're not sure if we're too jealous to breathe, proud as hell—or a little of both.

This round of "Evan Cornholes Everyone" features delightful Asian dolls Mia Smiles, Asa Akira, Chrissy Moon, Evelyn Lin, and Kina Kai. It's great to see Mia back in action. Regardless of race, she's an amazing performer who really throws her all into each scene.

In any case, we'd like to make a suggestion. We think that Evan should take this show on the road, not just around America, but to other countries. "Spyder Jones Fucks South Korea" or "Rock Star Pimp Lhasa" could be the natural, organic evolution of this very title. Or if he wanted to really push the envelope, why not "Gaza Strip Geishas" or "Palestinian Pussy Punishers"? We expect to receive full credit for the concept and title. Check's in the mail, right?

"Smoking Hot Asians" releases this week from Iron Cross Productions, an imprint of Tera Patrick Productions. But you can sneak a peek right here and now, because you're special!

· Teravision (teravision.com)

Last we heard from Mr. Tera Patrick (also known as Biohazard frontman Evan Seinfeld), he was showing real promise with his alter ego—Spyder Jones—as he literally fucked his way through a pile of plush porn star pussy, with his wife nowhere in sight, for his latest web venture, Rock Star Pimp (dot com). If memory serves, we tipped our hat to the ink scrawled lothario, not only for winning over the heart of the one of the world's finest porn stars, but also for really bringing the heat with some fine Latina nymphos. This was, by our own standards, quite an admission—given that, despite his mainstream credits and real world acting chops, he essentially started out in the jizz biz as little more than a suitcase pimp. We vouched for Evan, keeping our fingers crossed that he wouldn't make us regret it.

Evan has now officially made good on his promise, releasing the second installment of Rockstar Pimp hotties and effectively lodging himself into the annals of porno history as more than a mere footnote. This time, the Brooklyn import smashes some of Porn Valley's finest hard tail, paying particular attention to their curvy tushes in the process. The results are on par with most of what's released these days—and with the list of willing victims including sultry Dakoda Brookes, Rachel Starr, Nadia Nitro, Jaclyn Case, and Mackenzee Pierce, you can say he has our rapt attention.

We're pretty much out of colorful praise, so we'll just leave you with the wisdom of Homer Simpson, who once extolled the virtues of the musically gifted class from which Evan was spawned when he said, “Rock stars...is there anything that they can't do?”

Apparently not.

· Rock Star Pimp (rockstarpimp.com)
· Teravision (tervavision.com)

The quality of their releases has definitely improved, and the launch of Rockstar Pimp seems to indicate that Evan's given up on his Spyder Jones persona and is literally just going for it balls out. In short order, Evan's taken what other rockers dream about and made it a reality: yes, he's fucking hot pornstars and getting paid for it.

This week he ups the ante with the release "Smoking Hot Latinas," fresh off the presses from his hardcore imprint, Iron Cross. It's truly impressive on many levels, not the least of which is the sincerity of the title. We're pretty blown away by just how far Evan has come in his pornographic evolution, going from mainstream interloper judged with a cautious but weary cynicism to performing in every single scene of his latest release like a full on porn stud! Our hats—and pants—are off to you, buddy!

With Evan plowing recklessly through simmering hot starlets Ann Marie Rios, Alexis Luv, Cassandra Cruz, Renae Cruz, and Rebeca Linares, we’re sure he’s bound to run across a certain degree of hatred and jealousy—but after peeking this gallery he sent over we guarantee that scorn and embarrassment will not accompany them.

"Smoking Hot Latinas" releases this week from Iron Cross and Tera Patrick Productions. Hate all you want.

· Teravision (teravision.com)

. . .

· Evan Seinfeld Tera Patrick RTA PSA (youtube.com)
· "Tera Patrick, Evan Seinfeld Featured in New RTA Public Service Announcement" (avn.com)

· Rock Star Pimp (rockstarpimp.com, via Naked City)

While Jesse Jane rovided interview wrap-ups from a stage just outside the Awards, Casey Parker was Playboy's Girl on the Floor, and as such she probably appeared in more photographs than anyone. By the end f the evening she was just as chipper as in the beginning. Here she chats with jessica drake about oing anal. ("You don't just dive in," drake said.)

Flower Tucci can always be counted on for an outfit that seems at once accessible and impossibly out of reach. Here she confounds us with a prize that could only be won after several frustrating hours of unlacing.

Marco Banderas and partner Lisa DeMarco (get it?) cut striking figures, but what was more impressive was Banderas' skill at turning just in time toward any camera aimed at him from anywhere in the room, as if to say, "Hola, Fleshbot readers!"

I hear things are just as bad up in Lake Erie.

We have never been sure of Robin Leach's function at this event, but we always see him. Leach's own cameraman was beloved of porn stars for asking Jenna Jameson and Tera Patrick who they were (thugh he did recognize Jameson beau Tito Ortiz). Meanwhile, Leach kept a personal record of the Not So Rich and Famous.

At the opposite end of the carpet performers were kept in yet another holding pen.

Former performer Joe Lawrence and signees of his talent agency were the last to walk the red carpet. Much of the press had left at this time since the awards show was two hours late, but no porn star was left behind.

Previously: 2008 AVN Awards: Dispatches From The Front

"I'm flexing my boobs," Tera explained.

· Adult Entertainment Expo (adultetertainmentexpo.com)
· Tera Patrick: The new black (gramponante.com)

Other nominees include a raft of titles from mainstays Digital Playground, Wicked, and Vivid, and also independent films like "Spunk'd", which is nominated in the Screenplay and Comedy categories.

Sweeping the nominations was the excellent "Upload", named in everything from the director to the group sex categories. But as always there were hundreds of films that delighted us in some way that didn't make the cut ('Insertz"), or that were nominated but we regret not seeing ("Blow Me Sandwich 11").

Nominations do help with sales, especially if there is enough money for publicity, and awards can push even an expensive movie solidly into the black, especially if there is extra cash for cable edits.

January's AVN Awards will be technically the magazine's 25th, having announced awards in newsletter fashion in its Pennsylvania infancy, and then gradually progressing through larger Vegas venues from the Tropicana to the Sands to, finally, the Mandalay. Join us at the awards on January 12 ... as well as via probably thousands of updates beforehand.

· AVN Awards (avnawards.com)
· "AVN AVN to announce nominees today, grousing set to begin thereafter" (gramponante.com)

Broken

Studio: Teravision
Director: Dave Navarro
Cast: Sasha Grey, Audrey Bitoni, Jenna Haze, Tommy Gunn, Marco Banderas, Spyder Jonez, Lisa Daniels, Victoria Sin, Kayla Paige

Review by Gram Ponante

The equation of sex with despair, as is fashionable in porn movies lately, is something I don't understand. After she's finished on the bathroom floor, for example, Grey collapses in a sad heap of moroseness. It would be one thing if she worked through her depression with a good wank (and see how I've suspended my disbelief, try doing that sort of thing while weeping openly), but it doesn't seem to do her any good.

That's not to say she doesn't look good while doing it. Grey is sylphlike, vulnerable, and inviting. But if the porn fantasy is that she's also accessible, couldn't her accessibility come as a result of her being slutty rather than without hope? Guess that might be a different movie.

Eventually everyone with a high enough profile who has an interest in the porn world will direct a movie. Screech did it, and we're just waiting for Mr. Belding and David Spade to jump in. But though the mood of "Broken" is dark, Navarro has brought something new to the table. A few things happen in this movie that haven't been seen before, but not so many that it ceases to be a porn movie.

When she's through, Grey enters a Kubrickian overexposed room and has a petulant conversation with some bruiser who doesn't cotton to her tartness. Their conversation is subtitled in Italian. Why? Just in case Ennio Morricone drops by for soundtrack tips. Oh, and because the couple's relationship is Broken.

At one point the bruiser picks Sasha up by her head and lifts her a foot off the ground. He could have just told her to move.

Though he kisses her afterward, she still retreats to the bathroom to shoot up. Because the movie is called "Broken", she needs a fix.

Time passes and we arrive at a porn set in which Tommy Gunn plays the pizza guy to Jenna Haze's lady answering the door in her lingerie. The camera tracks around to several scenes being shot at once. It's a cool effect, as we watch Marco Banderas holding up his own camera while Grey holds up other things, a cameraman zooms in, yet another camera captures the master shot, and Navarro directs, shirtless but hatted.

It's like Dave Navarro's Porn Circus.

When Sasha has finished with Banderas, Navarro directs her to help out the other couples on the set, as if she has completed her art project early and the teacher sends her around to check on the other kids. She aids a threesome with Teravision owner Evan Seinfeld.

This extended sequence is the heart of the film, and is a clever means of getting the porn-standard amount of scenes in. Grey returns to her apartment, having been empowered by her porn experience, and confronts her Babelfish boyfriend.

Then there's a twist ending!

I admit that my prejudice about porn with a bad attitude is my own. I still think you can get more flies (or, in this case, popshots) with honey (or, in this case, a pleasant disposition). But I will admit that some people do behave this way all the time and that "Broken" is a fascinating movie directed like a music video and featuring oversaturated and tasty talent.

It also has a unique narrative style that is refreshing and compelling (but can't be used again).

· Teravision (teravision.com)
· Buy "Broken" @ Adult DVD Empire + Gamelink

Join us after the gap for some final thoughts (and pictures!) from Erotica L.A., starting our engines with erotic photographer Holly "Cha Cha" Randall. - GP

- - -

I asked Hailey Young if she bought her own costumes and she said that she was given money to do it. "I will buy that flimsy top right now for five American dollars," I said. God Damn It! Why don't I ever bring five dollars??

- - -

The crowd around these women was too big. I felt like (the movie version of) Adso of Melk. "I never knew, nor ever learned, her name."

- - -

The following conversation never happened:

Evan: You like my new tattoo?
Tera: I don't know; the top of your head seems like the undiscovered country.

- - -

Which one is the stripper and which one is her makeup artist? I'll just say that Althea is on the cover of this month's "Private Dancer" magazine and I wanted to be the pole. Did that sound dirty? Sorry if that sounded dirty.

- - -

I thought Sasha Grey was the Best Dressed at this year's Erotica L.A., but she put a little effort into it. Ava Rose looks this good when she rolls out of bed (actually she looks a little better than this when she rolls out of bed). Did that sound dirty, too? I don't care anymore.

- - -

Randy Spears is a cool dude. He was one of the only men signing at Erotica L.A., and Los Angeles' erotic convention-attending women swooned over him.

- - -

Finally, Jenna Jameson and Belladonna, together again.

* * * * *

· See also: Erotica L.A. in review (gramponante.com)

Previously: Popshots Archive

Of the megawatt pornstars in attendance at Erotica L.A., Tera Patrick seemed to be having the most fun. "Mainstream" celebrity does not require the intense fan interaction that America's porn stars deal with at conventions like these, but it helps that Patrick's husband, Evan Seinfeld, kind of adores her. Still, she keeps fame in perspective.

"Gwyneth Paltrow has seen my vagina," she said, "but I haven't seen hers."

"Really??"

"Well, she could see my vagina." (Not if you wore a vadge pasty.)- GP

· Tera Patrick (clubtera.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive