· Newspapers and websites appeal to the lowest common denominator and use cheap, tawdry tactics to grab attention. In other news, look at these tits! (brisbanetimes.com.au)

· No, really: look at these tits. Though the asses ain't bad either. (Michelle Marsh and Lindsey Anne Strutt @ dailyniner.com)

· An elementary school discovers the hard way that their educational videos were recorded over someone's used porn tapes. That's just good recycling. (wsls.com)

· Since the weather is finally pleasant around here, how about some nude gardening? Your thumb won't be the only thing that's green ... wink, wink. (earthtimes.org)

· A New York man is suing the makers of a health drink because he says it gave him a permanent erection. To be fair, it was called Boost Plus. (news.com.au)

· Letter to the Editor of the Day: "Our culture is on the skids!" You say that like it's a bad thing. (mainetoday.com)

· Remember the "Rad Girls"? Well, they may think subway pole dancing is a great "prank," but it's a lot tamer than what we saw on our commute this morning. Don't worry, they still managed to work farting in there. (maximonline.com)

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Thumbnail boobies courtesy Ashley Robbins (bustycafe.net)

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Italian beauty Elisabetta Canalis makes us miss Rome ... and we've never even been there! (latenightpictures.com)

· For the record, former Miss Great Britain and current lad mag fixture Danielle Lloyd did not have sex for two hours in a nightclub with a DJ she just met. In our imagaination, however, it's still going on. (sky.com)

· The good news is that you have no problem getting an erection. The bad news is, you're fired. Oh, and you've had an erection for eight years, so we guess there wasn't any good news after all. (thesun.co.uk)

· If you have the opposite penis problem, just do what men did for centuries before Viagra was invented: Pray like crazy. (edprayercircle.org)

· It's not illegal to ride a motorbike while naked in Sweden ... as long as your wear your helmet. Unfortunately, in the event of an accident, cracking your head open might be the least of your worries. (thelocal.se)

· Oddly enough, police in Australia have received no complaints about the local nude carwash, even though they've missed a ton of spots on the fender. (news.com.au)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

We've known for some time that the Japanese will put almost anything on television, but even we were a little surprised to find an entire show dedicated to one man's persistent and rock hard erection. (OK, maybe we weren't that that surprised.) This Candid Camera-style epic called Mokkori—which is literally the Japanese word for "Schwinnnng!"—follows one young man as he parades around town frightening innocent passersby with his short shorts and raging hard-on. It finally answers that eternal question: What would you do if a man came into your gym and started doing barbell curls with his dick? The comedic possibilities actually don't seem endless, but rather than a one-time skit, the producers are milking this one for all it's worth. Well, not literally milking ... they're saving that for sweeps week.

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· Mokkoi (more "Mokkori" videos @ YouTube)
· More of Mokkori - The Erection in Public Show (tvinjapan.com)

Previously: YouHentai: All Hentai, All The Time, Hot Spanish (And Brazilian) TV Babes, Japanese Game Show Showdown, YouTube Watch Archives

· From disgraced Miss Great Britain to disgraced Big Brother contestant, Danielle Lloyd sure seems to get disgraced a lot. No wonder everyone likes her so much. (celebpixx.blogspot.com + savemanny.blogspot.com)

· We'd be a lot more excited for the upcoming release of Spider-man 3, if they could some how work in this plot line where Peter Parker kills Mary Jane with his radioactive sperm. We smell Oscar! (comixexperience.com, via publishersweekly.com)

· Everyone knows palm reading is a scam. Butt reading, on the other hand, can really predict the future. Actually, that sounds like a scam too. Are we sure this guy is blind? (spluch.blogspot.com + blinderhellseher.de)

· We understand that drug companies have pills to sell, but maybe they should save the Cialis ads until after "Miracle on 34th Street" is over. Then again, a four-hour erection is a miracle to some people. (wsj.com)

· Wait a sec ... a newspaper editorial that defends porn? Oh, it's a student newspaper. Those crazy kids will say anything. (studentnewspaper.org)

· What this? Another porn editorial, only this one suggests that maybe parents are partially responsible for what happens to their kids? Has the world gone topsy-turvy? (onlineopinion.com.au)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives