In this latest "trick" from director Robby D., it appears that evil ninja Tommy Gunn has created a sneaky website that will make men want to hump baked goods and lotion bottles (and has also made Robby shoot the ensuing brouhaha in 1970’s inspired sex-o-matic-vision). When Shay Jordan learns that she will no longer be able to ride hard cock because of this, she can barely stutter out her protest before sending her angels out to save the day and defeat her evil, oily-muscled nemesis.

It's clear that these women will stop at nothing to keep the world safe for boner-loving babes everywhere ... and we mean nothing! (In porn terms, that means ... well, you probably already know what it means. But peep our exclusive preview gallery below just to be sure.)

• "Naked Aces 5" Preview Gallery
• "Naked Aces 5" (DVD info + trailer @ digitalplayground.com)
• "Naked Aces 5" (Adult DVD Empire)

We've been huge fans of Actiongirls.com's singular brand of ass-kicking hotness ever since we started taking our first baby steps into the big bad world of porn blogging all those years ago; even if director Scotty JX's release schedule hasn't quite kept up with our appetite for seeing smokin' porn babes like Erica Campbell, Silvia Saint, and Veronica Zemanova strut their way through scenarios involving exploding fireballs, heavy duty ammunition, and advanced nut-kicking techniques, we can't help but appreciate the fact that they take a lot more time and money to shoot than your usual Porn Valley wankfest. So you can imagine our excitement when we learned that there's plenty of new action in the Actiongirls franchise coming down the pipe in the coming months, including a brand new trailer and plans for several spinoff sites and DVD series ... all of which may lead Scotty to the ultimate Actiongirls adventure: "(T)o say the least, if you think the Transformers trailer looks cool, just imagine Actiongirls with a $200 million budget! Take out the robots and add 50,000 naked chicks at war!" Wrap your heads around that while we go back and check out Sylvia Saint putting that carbine through its paces one more time.

· Actiongirls (preview @ actiongirls.com; see new "Actiongirls 2007" trailer here)
· "Return of the Actiongirls" (xfanz.com)
Order: "Actiongirls Vol.1", "Actiongirls Vol.2", and "Actiongirls Water And Fitness" (Adult DVD Empire)

In the United States, it's been standard procedure for many years that if you're a female involved in some horrible, yet titillating national scandal the most important thing you can do to "rehabilitate" your image is pose nude for a magazine; after all, nothing says, "I'm okay now," like full frontal nudity. Well, it seems our friends south of the border feel the same way as we learned while searching for some background info on the star of this H magazine shoot, Mary Boquitas. At first, we assumed she was just some hot model expanding her portfolio, but our translation-assisted research reveals that Mary is quite a notorious figure is Mexico, as a bit player in a sex/crime/musical Svengali scandal of some renown. Some quick searching can teach you a bit about her travails through the Brazilian and Mexican legal systems, her acquittal of numerous odd charges, and what (we assume) is her mea culpa/triumphant return to the limelight in this sexy photo spread. It's good to see this time-honored tradition living on all across North America, and it reminds us that we here in the States haven't had a truly juicy scandal in years. Can we get Scarlett Johansson framed for seal poaching or something?

· Mary Boquitas in Extremo Magazine (dailypoa.com, also @ miarroba.com)
· Mary Boquitas (Wikipedia)

Previously: Nella, Babe Of The Year (Officially), Still More Completely Random Brazilian TV Hotness, Allure Makes Everyone "Look Better Naked", Sophie Howard's "Bizarre" Behavior, Miss Australia "Nude" Scandal, Meet Imogen Gray: Taking Advantage Of The System, Meet Nicole Begg: Naked Speed Skater Would Like Your Attention, Please