Fleshbot: chennin blanc

Everybody Fucks Lucy (In The Ass)

DCypher — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:00:00 EDT

One of the first (not to mention most famous and successful) situation comedies of all time, "I Love Lucy," has finally made its way down the parody slaughter mill and onto the bloody dissection table to be hacked up.

Yes, LFP has finally gone and done it, handing down a parody worthy of outrage and indignation with the release of "Everybody Loves Lucy," due out next week.

Jerome Tanner (or as he's better known to his porn mafia associates, "Ace Up His Sleeve" Jerry T) is the hack, err, hacksaw at the helm. Through his perverse juvenile jibs he slaughters one of America's most beloved shows, completely desecrating the female icon of television comedy in the crassest way imaginable with his raunchy take on our favorite redhead. Everything from aliens to tattoos make its way into his skewed comically pornographic reinvention—and he even insisted on creating a 'black&white' viewing option for people who wanted to fantasize that they were really watching the original sitcom. Can you believe the balls on this guy?

Real life husband and wife duo Otto & Audrey play Ricky & Lucy, while Chennin Blanc stands in for vaudevillian Ethyl and comedian Frank Bukkwyd plays her hubby Fred. Audrey Hollander merrily endures an explicit range of obscene sex acts, from double head to DVDA, and throws in some threeway sex and a lesbian encounter to round out the title's promise. In all honesty, it's nothing new for Audrey. She's no stranger to taking everything and the kitchen sink up her fine white ass. And she really does look quite a bit like Lucy when you pull her hair up (which, we're told, is how they came up with the idea in the first place).

Not satisfied with just giving the consumer a simple parody, LFP went ahead and threw in some extra scenes from movies like "Stripper School Orgy" and "Teen Cream." Thanks, Uncle Larry! Like a creepy touchy uncle with a pocket full of candy, you know the way to our hearts and into our pants.

"Everybody Loves Lucy" releases next week from LFP Hustler, but you can see what they did to our beloved Lucy now, in the pictures below. No word yet on when they'll demolish "The Honeymooners"—but stay tuned, because someone most certainly will.

Buy "Everybody Loves Lucy" (gamelink.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)

Nothing Proves A Mother's Love Like Latex

Gram Ponante — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:00:00 EST

More than the latex-and-PVC-clad milves themselves, what is special about Jim Powers' "Latex MILFs" is that an excellent definition of the elusive term is provided in horrifying, sweaty context.

"You know you're hot when your son's best friend wants to fuck you" is the logline of this movie, which establishes a MILF as someone who not only has borne children, but whose offspring's horny friends are old enough to want to get a closer look at their buddy's orifice of origin.

While there might be a chance that each of the women in this movie (Carrie Anne, Chennin Blanc, the abundant Rachel Love, Vannah Sterling) has not actually had a child, each is in her 30's or 40's, and that is a commitment to MILF quality I respect.

"I thought you were making dinner for my dad!" cries an awestruck Billy when he finds a ravenous and garment-shiny Chennin Blance masturbating at him.

"Maybe I'll have you for dinner," she says.

Now if the world would only get on board with the correct plural. Must consult Chomsky...

· Mr. Filth (mrfilth.com)
· Buy "Latex MILFs" (jerkoffzone.com)

It's Not A "Whorgasm" If You Do It For Free

DCypher — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 13:55:34 EDT

They say that everything that comes around goes around ... except in porn, where it cums around. However you spell it, that old saw has never been truer as it has been lately in the world of adult entertainment, where things have gone decidely retro: it seems no matter where we look we're confronted with smut styled to call to mind those halcyon days when pubic hair wasn't something to be ashamed about and cocaine was something you could still feel good about doing

The latest contender to throw their OP board shorts into the ring is Sin City Entertainment: not only does their new logo remind us of the sort of typography we used to see on muscle car posters in Spencer Gifts, but they've even gone ahead and recycled the title of both Nick Zedd's seminal 1988 art porn short and a still-current all-girl series by DVSX for their new feature! And director Ariella takes this regression one step further by blending a mixture of established performers with relative newcomers in "Whorgasm", which stars Chennin Blanc, Ginger Blaze, Jennifer Dark, Mina Lee, Carolyn Reese, and Holly Wellin. (OK., we guess dropping that E does make it a completely different title. Still.)

Alas, the only other thing really interesting about "Whoregasm" aside from its rad box cover is that awesome title—it's certainly not that hoary pre-"Boogie Nights"-era plotline involving high-priced call girls and the affluent and powerful men who pay for them. And the often tepid performances don't help matters much either. Still, we at least found the preview pics diverting enough to share with you here and see if the power of free porn still counts for anything. Let us know how they work out for you.

· Sin CIty's "Whorgasm" (sincityfilms.com)