And what better way to get that done than with an art show? Brooklyn art space 3rd Ward has put out a call for erotic cell phone art—any dirty video, photo, or text that was created by cell phone is open game for submission. All submitted works will be curated into a group show, and the most intriguing submission will be awarded a prize of $500.

What are you waiting for? We all know you've got tons of dirty sexts just lying around collecting dust—might as well turn them into cash (or at least some artistic prestige).

· Sex Cells (3rdward.com, via blog.babeland.com)

Rumor has it that the owner of New Sensations/Digital Sin, Tyrone Shoes, made a decision early on in his career in commercial pornography—for fun and for profit—to only use male dick props that defied conventional standards. In layman's terms, Mr. Shoes showed the male actors possessing abnormally large dicks the door, lensing only those rare freaks of nature who possessed genitals of such disproportion that it was hard to stop talking about them. In our humble estimation, given today's post, we'd say it worked. A veritable Costco of porn, Tyrone's operation buys in bulk and passes the savings on to you.

"Monster Meat 14" illustrates this point with a graphic flair and obvious pride not commonly seen in the downward race that passes for industry standards as of late. While scenes that feature a slender, young, dishwater coiffed Ava Rose heartily taking the full Monty belie the newness of the release, marginalizing yet another "new" DVD to compilation status, the caliber of the cast bears strong witness to the quality of the prurience available within those shiny folds.

Newly anointed Fleshbot Crush Object Shawna Lenee earn her stripes by taking one of the fattest black cocks we have ever seen (really!) up her tiny pink hole. Mind you, we've only played gynecologists in the past, and obstetrics is merely a hobby we indulge in with girls we pick up after closing at the Drunken Clam, but we feel fairly confident in our assessment that this thing is bigger than a baby's arm! We don't think we've ever seen her that full, or that happy—just for the record.

Add Alex Divine, Brooklyn, Evelyn Lin, Skyy Cherry, Emma Ray, Alicia Tyler, Katerina Kat, Ahryan Astyn, Britney, and Laylah Diamond and you've got over 4 hours of orifice expanding that will leave you in a state of breathless wonder.

"Monster Meat 14" thrusts it's throbbing way all the way out into the world this week, so we hope you're ready for it.

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)

· Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
· Brenda Staudenmeier (thelovelybrenda.com)
· Goliath Books (burningangel.com)
· Order "Burning Angel" (amazon.com)

· D A Photography (daportraits.com)

· "Photos from the Dr. Sketchy's Salon" (mollycrabapple.livejournal.com)
· Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School
· Molly Crabapple

Previously: Dr. Sketchy's Rainy Day Coloring Book Release Party, Meet Molly Crabapple, Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School

· I Heart Brooklyn Girls (iheartbrooklyngirls.com)

Previously: DVD Review: "Hookin' Up"

· If this calendar of sexy hipster girls doesn't make you want to move to Brooklyn, nothing will. Except for out-of-control Manhattan rents, of course. (iheartbrooklyngirls.com, via Gawker)

· A man wins his lawsuit against his employer after a head injury turned him into a sex addict. Wait ... you can sue someone for that? We thought that was one of the good side effects. (yahoo.com)

· Yet another inappropriate commercial that will never be aired in the United States. This country is just too uptight when it comes to facials. (break.com)

· Soccer moms are cheering loudly for breast implants, because you have to look your best when you're driving that minivan. (usatoday.com)

· Naughty underwear king Frederick's of Hollywood is getting it on with another clothing company and will soon be publicly traded on the stock market. Our portfolio is expanding ust thinking about it. (reuters.com)

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives