Sweet callipygian curves haunt our dreams most nights. We can't stop thinking about how those deep- cheeks simply hang out all day and night, covering sweet, juicy, pink holes of immeasurable pleasure. Mark understands our curse. He must. Why else would he assemble a bunch of hot ass chicks with phat asses getting drilled in their Texas-sized bubbles?

Brooke Haven is like one of our first loves. It's bittersweet watching her do her thing: comforting to see our girl, yet wishing we could go back to day one with her. Crista Moore's got more junk in her trunk than Sanford, which is fine with us. The way she backs it up and takes manmeat in her steaming gash makes up for her lack of subtlety. It's hard to be demure with curves that explicit. We respect the way she works with what she was given. Even Brittney Stevens (who doesn't always win us over) comes out looking bomb in this asstastic offering—with two guys taking turns on her well plowed lower half.

Mark brings our fantasy to life best, however, when he teams up Evie Delatosso with Zoe Britton for a big ass lesbian gangsta party. We can only think of two words while we watch these fine ladies roll around, climbing deep in and out of each others' sexy cracks: game over.

"Big Butt TV" will be out soon from Wicked Pictures and Mark Stone. Can't wait? You can catch a taste of the rump pumping in the sampler below.

Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)

To the best of our knowledge, never before has an adult title worked so hard to fit into so many categories at the same time. Whether a stroke of creative genius or a crass attempt to more readily chop the material into easily marketed content for licensing deals, we may never truly know.

Set in a terrifying world where a handful of sexually uptight and morally conservative men are attempting to ban erotic materials from a small town library run by blonde, air headed MILFs, this release rapidly expands to become a metaphor for the loss of good old American style freedom! Oh noes!

And while you are all up in arms, emailing Glenn Beck and tracking down Bill O'Reilly and his elusive loofa, we will continue on with the more important details of this groundbreaking niche story porn release. Tatum Pierce, Heidi Mayne, Brooke Haven, and Holly Sampson comprise the sexually depraved cast of lovable dingbats who have no trouble getting down and dirty if it means getting their way.

Holly Sampson does a particularly good job of taking advantage of Dane Cross, reducing him to a well mannered boy who politely responds to the demands of an insatiable, bossy MILF who knows exactly what she wants. The result is a blistering hot scene that's sure to inspire.

"Naughty Blonde MILF Librarians" releases from Sin City and DCypher next week. In the meantime check out this exclusive gallery below.

Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Heidi Mayne
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Heidi Mayne
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Heidi Mayne
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Heidi Mayne
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Heidi Mayne
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Heidi Mayne
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Holly Sampson and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Holly Sampson and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Holly Sampson and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Holly Sampson and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Holly Sampson and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Holly Sampson and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)

"It's a traditional three-act structure," said DCypher, tenting his fingers and looking thoughtfully into the middle distance. "The initial conflict is that the Naughty Blonde MILF Librarians have a naughty book section in their library that three guys want to ban."

The NBMLs are Brooke Haven, Heidi Mayne, and Holly Sampson. Tatum Pierce, also blonde and naughty but not yet a MILF, also appears in the movie.

"So Act Two is that the librarians decide to fuck the three guys in order to change their minds, which they do," the director said. "And Act Three involves the librarians fucking each other."

So these librarians, they started out as Naughty Blonde Milves, and - ?

"Yes," DCypher said, "the girls themselves don't have much of an arc, but they change everyone around them."

We took a moment to watch Brooke Haven sprawl frankly across the library's checkout desk. Later, Jay Ashley overcame his book-banning zeal to fuck Heidi Mayne.

The Sin City movie, which is being edited as of this writing and which will be released in September, is one of several mini-features the ancient and venerable porn company is shooting to add to its large back catalog.

And would "Naughty Blonde Asian MILF Librarians Who Are Also Overweight" be far behind?

"We've got a lot of niches covered already," said DCypher. "It's like a Jim Holliday movie."

· Sin City (sincityfilms.com)
· Buy DCypher's movies (gamelink.com)

And that's before she starts getting fucked—which, we must say, ups the ante quite considerably. It's a good thing we're not a betting pornblog, cause we might very well sacrifice our entire life savings for the sliver of a chance to get next to Brooke.

· Buy "Sex Sells" (gamelink.com)

Krystal Steal (maplebabe.com)

Crissy Moran (crissy-moran.com)

Rebecca Ryann (rebeccaryannblog.com)

Brooke Haven (pornstar-haven.net)

Shay Laren (shay-laren.net)

Satomi Mizuno (erotiscore.com)

Melanie Walsh (secretary-stockings.com)

Joanna Angel

*****

Previously:

All right. Erotica L.A. had those, too, in its three-day consumer fleshly bazaar at the L.A. Convention Center. But for those of us with more refined libidos, there was also a booth selling Egyptian cotton sheets. And if you need to ask how those are erotic, you've never jerked off to Lemmy Kilmister.

But discount travel agencies and car detailing booths weren't all Erotica L.A. had to offer; there were also dozens of porn stars either signing at stripped-down booths (by comparison with the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas in January) or roaming the aisles.

Those who say the porn business is dying need only have looked at the long lines stretching in front of a vaguely-military Belladonna to be assured that, no, only the DVD and massive booth-renting business is dying - porn is fine.

Capping Saturday's festivities was the third annual F.A.M.E. Awards, hosted by Jesse Jane and Randy Spears. The adorable Bree Olson won Best Rookie. Other people won other things, and we took their pictures, but we admit we didn't watch the ceremony. We were too busy trying to buy sheets.

· Erotica L.A. (erotica-la.com)

We may be dim on the finer plot points, but we predict that you'll find an "Oracle" preview gallery after the jump. Let us know if we're wrong, OK?

. . .

· Order "Oracle" (Adult DVD Empire)
· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)

· Brooke Haven (brookehaven.com)

Haven enjoys the WPR's appreciative gentlemen's club connoisseurs. ""It's going to be a blast," she said. "Me, them, lack of clothes; always a a good time!"

· Brooke Haven (brookehaven.com)
· Spearmint Rhino (spearmintrhino.com)

Previously: Porn Of The Moment Archive