Porn press releases usually need to be sifted through for their lone kernel of news or truth, so when we read that 28-year-old Bailey had a master's degree we took it in a salinated dollop, the way we tolerate statements like "This is my last messageboard post ever, you haters," "I appeared in tranny movies because it's punk rock," and "I've been working on my paintings."

But Bailey is the real deal. Formerly a solo model and girls-only performer (one of her final pre-Vivid movies is Michael Ninn's upcoming "Nymphetamine 3"), the tall cool blonde performed her first onscreen boy/girl scene ("Man/Woman sounds like Tarzan") for Vivid's "The AJ Bailey Experiment."

Fleshbot: But you're an anthropologist...

Bailey: Before Vivid I had done some modeling, but only in the Adult world. I was very drawn to the industry through being a fan in my personal life, and thought that I may have what it takes. I initially became involved in the business to assist in funding my graduate degree overseas (she went to Scotland's University of St. Andrews). The modeling I had done previously was in LA, as it's the epicenter of the industry, and truthfully, I missed the glamour of it all when I left.

FB: Growing up in the St. Louis area and living in L.A. share many attributes, though I can't think of any right now.

Bailey: I waited tables for years and the customer service in L.A. is terrible. You would think it is your honor to be waited on by your distracted would-be-actor server. It's terrible. The traffic isn't so different, just that the distances are farther. It seems to take an hour to get everywhere in L.A., as opposed to 20 minutes (with no traffic) in St Louis.

FB: The anthropologists I know are lusty, hearty folk, full of keen insights and happy hour beer from university-adjacent bars. But they don't make a lot of money. You've said that porn is a good option in tough economic times. But if money wasn't an object ... ?

Bailey: If I got the "dream job" in my field, I would be back doing what I did as an intern in Scotland, only getting paid for it. I would love to be a conservator or collections manager for a historical organization. I prefer historic houses or manor homes or castles to the bureaucracy of a museum. I love museums as well though...don't get me wrong!

FB: That's good, because we're really hoping this here NEA grant is going to get the Fleshbot West Museum of the American MILF off the ground. AJ Bailey, will you date us?

Bailey: I don't think that porn and dating mix actually. Everyone wants to fuck you...and that's it. That tends to be the plight of the hot chick anyway, but of course it's worse when someone knows what you do for a living. Everyone wants something from you in LA....but I think that's ok, because often I want something from them!

FB: How was your first boy/girl scene?

Bailey: My first scene was really sexy. It was just very natural and hot and fun and I came four or five times. I always get off for the camera. I like that people are watching me. Also, I hadn't gotten laid in what seems like ages..

FB: This is shameful. We wish you had called us. Now: tell us about dicks.

Bailey: I am surprised how much more I like doing guys on camera. I knew I would like it, but I was just worried that the dicks would be sooo big, or that I wouldn't have chemistry with my partners. However that is not the case.

FB: Are you saying -

Bailey: Well of course their dicks are enormous, but I love every minute of it.

Bailey reports that websites bearing her likeness and variations on her name have been poached, but that Vivid is working on getting them back. So we'll leave you with a link to Vivid, and will keep you informed of Bailey's comings (however any there are) and goings.

· Vivid (vivid.com)

"So you fuck it?"

We have been eager to show you this title but we keep getting waylaid, as if by "Pirates". A niche that (mostly) finds clothed women giving handjobs to naked men, this example of CFNM involves the likes of Abbey Brooks, Sophie Dee, Heather Gables, and Kylee Reese, among others, in configurations such as Jailer/Jailed, Pie Fucker/Gaggle, and Comatose Man/Nurses.

Not an inch of the five separate parts of the female anatomy commonly seen in porn is exposed in "Attack of the C.F.N.M.," and that may be disappointing to some viewers. But as Thomas Jefferson said, "I may not agree with your choice to not show Abbey Brooks' boobies, but I will fight to the death for your right to not compromise a porn niche sacred to maybe two dozen Americans."

While humiliation is a factor in some of these scenarios, at least the fellows enjoy some release at the end of their ordeal. Such as this guy, who probably hasn't seen too many good times since the royalty checks for "Two Princes" stopped coming.

· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)
· Buy "Attack of the CFNM" (gamelink.com)

"Everywhere I look in San Francisco I find hot lesbian sex," says Madison Young, our Huell Howser of vagitarian culture. But it is a city of contrasts.

"San Francisco is known as a hotbed of lesbian and gay culture," Young says. But lest you think Journey's City by the Bay is heterogenous, "it's also a city of lust, love, and random sexual encounters that lead to explosive orgasms."

No doubt this tidbit will help San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom in his bid to be California's next governor.

Young's first stop is Dolores Park, known as a "Dyke Park" and a perfect spot to show off one's monkey bar skills and read Rilke (probably ironically, dead white male and all, but he gets a pass because of the "Maria").

A helpful travelogue for tourists more interested in a Lombard Street of the Heart, "Lesbian Life" weaves its way through lesbian garages, coffee shops, and tattoo parlors, often connecting each scene with a character from the previous one.

And if residents sometimes complain of that 49-sq. mile thumb of land feeling claustrophobic, they can get some consolation they share the foggy peninsula with old friends like Lorelei Lee, Shawn and Jiz Lee from the Crash Pad, and Dylan Ryan from the Strap-on Motel.

Sadly, Young only appears as the narratrix, not as a perfomer. But have no fear: In addition to the hot lesbian sex going on everywhere in San Francisco, each resident seems to be reading Young's cover story in Spread.

· Madison Young (madisonbound.com)
· Buy "Lesbian Life: Real Sex San Francisco" (lezlovevideo.com)