Fleshbot: advertising

Kim Kardashian Makes Eating Salad Sexy

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 13:30:01 EST

Following in the footsteps of Paris HIlton and Audrina Partridge, Kim Kardashian has signed on as the latest Carl's Jr. spokesbabe.

Unlike her predecessors, Kim's not hyping Carl's burgers, though. No, this video is all about the sex appeal of salad...and if you ask us, eating greens has never looked sexier.

· Kim Kardashian - New Grilled Chicken Salads at Carl's Jr. (youtube.com)

Tres Jolie Uses A Hot Striptease To Exert Their Powers Of Persuasion

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 17:30:01 EST

What with the language barrier and all, we're not really sure what this ad is supposed to be selling. But nevermind that silly detail: whatever it is, we are so buying it. (adsoftheworld.com)

Magielle Ad's Boobs Overpower Its Cleverness

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 12:30:01 EST

The message of this ad seems to be that Magielle lingerie is so sexy that, in a contest between a naked woman and her Magielle panties, it's the panties that need mosaicing.

Clever as that is, we were actually so distracted by the breasts we didn't even notice the panties (or their mosaicing) for a good minute or so. Clever advertising foiled by boobs...yet again.

· Magielle: Too Sexy (adsoftheworld.com)

WWF Takes A Page Out Of PETA's Handbook

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:30:01 EST

Because what's the best way to get people to care about endangered species? Naked people! We're not sure how this proves that "their extinction is ours as well," but, um...naked people!

We normally wouldn't say this, but, well, isn't this one case where violence might be a more appropriate sales tool than sex? We are talking about extinction here, people. And that naked lady sure don't look extinct to us.

· WWF: Panther (adsoftheworld.com)

Forget The Mona Lisa Smile, We Want The Mona Lisa Boobs

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 16:30:01 EST

We may never know who Mona Lisa really was...but, thanks to the Praga billboard, we now know what she looked like naked. (copyranter.blogspot.com)

Bouncing Boobs Sell Some Sort Of Product

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 14:30:01 EST

Okay, okay...we know this is a commercial for something, but with all that boobtastic booblicious bouncing, we just can't quite figure out what, precisely, is being sold. Maybe if we stare harder at the boobs, we'll figure it out? (copyranter.blogspot.com)

Engage In Intercourse With The Oral Sex Phone

Ottimo Massimo — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:00:00 EST

Let's be honest with ourselves: the only thing classier than talking into a vagina is talking into a vagina "superbly sculptured by a European artist."

Copyranter's Buygone Product of the Week is this lovely improvement on the telephone. Sports Illustrated may have their Football Phone, and that girl from "Juno" has her kooky Hamburger Phone, but playboys, pimps, and millionaires only use this nipple-less taffy lady whose nether regions send sounds across the country. It's the natural evolution Alexander Graham Bell would've wanted. Those European artists sure know what's up.

· Buygone Product of the Week: Oral Sex Phone (copyranter.blogspot.com)

Bundle Up For Winter, Somewhat

Ottimo Massimo — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:30:01 EST

American Apparel has attire for every season, but you better believe that none of it covers up wintry-hard nipples. They've got their priorities straight. (copyranter.blogspot.com)

Diesel Turns Up The Heat

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:30:01 EST

American Apparel won last night's Sexiest Advertising Award—and it looks like Diesel's making a play to be considered for next year's. Well, Diesel, keep up the naughty photos, and you, too, may have your time in the sun.

· Diesel Intimates (diesel.com, via Violet Blue)

Sweaty Calvin Klein Billboard Raises Eyebrows, Erections

Ottimo Massimo — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:30:01 EST

Calvin Klein can't seem to catch a break. They already caught flak for this billboard in SoHo, and now people are upset over this new advertisement. What is wrong with New York these days?

Maybe Calvin Klein thought if they diminished the number of sexual participants, maybe showed some "traditional" male-female gender roles, they might not cause such a hissy fit. We don't really care how Calvin Klein will react. We just want to know who these angry, skin-hating New Yorkers are.

· Another Racy Calvin Klein Billboard (1010wins.com)

Faye Reagan's Ass Gives A Boost To American Apparel's Stock

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:30:01 EST

Well, apparently we aren't the only ones with a crush on Faye Reagan. The darling ginger girl's appeared in so many American Apparel ads, we're starting to think she has a stake in the company.

And if she does—well, that's one board meeting we would be, ahem, bored at. Especially if Faye shows up wearing these tights. (There we go, letting our fantasies run away with us....)

· Faye and Britney (americanapparel.net)

Knee-licking: The Hot New Thing From Loewe

Ottimo Massimo — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 12:30:01 EDT

Oh you never licked a knee before? Step your game up.

Loewe, the Spanish luxury brand, came up with this advertisement for their new scent, Aire Loco. Really, we have no idea what's going on. We're just going to let this one slide.

· Nonsensical Sexuality of the Week (copyranter.blogspot.com)

This Ad Really Speaks To Us

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:30:01 EDT

Close your eyes, and try to think of the two greatest things ever. Okay, open your eyes. You were thinking about sausage and breasts, right? We thought so—and that makes you the target audience for this Slovenian ad.

· Apparently In Slovenia, all billboards have boobs. (copyranter.blogspot.com)

A Woman's Right To Sexy Lingerie

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:30:01 EDT

German lingerie retailer Liaison Dangereuse firmly believes that women the world over have an inalienable right to sexiness—particularly sexiness of the lingerie-enhanced kind. After watching this video, we couldn't agree more.

Sure, getting that sexy bra and panty set might not be quite as important as the right to vote, and going to school—but we're glad to know there's someone on the front lines fighting to ensure that no woman goes without a black lacey bra. Because life isn't worth living without those basic essentials.

· Liaison Dangereuse: Sexiness for everyone (adsoftheworld.com)

The Pants That Drive The Ladies Wild

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:30:01 EDT

Apparently, the pants advertised in this commercial are so sexy that your ladyfriend will be overcome with lust at the sight of them—and should you get the least bit distracted, the pants might just take your place.

Sounds interesting, really—but perhaps we'd all be better off using aphrodisiacs that don't turn our partners into objectum-sexuals. Now, who's up for some oysters?

· Man, woman getting it on. Man takes phone call. So woman f*cks man's pants. Man left to smell pants. (copyranter.blogspot.com)

Tekken Girls Have Bikinis, Will Fight On Command

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 16:30:01 EDT

There comes a time in our lives when we must ask ourselves what it is we're willing to fight for. The Tekken girls, it seems, will fight for shoes, crimping irons, and iPhones (while scantily clad, to boot).

After watching this video a few ~~hundred~~ times, we've finally figured out what we'd be willing to enter into an all-out catfight for: that glimpse of the last girl's panties. Anyone willing to take us on? Cause we've got the Vaseline at the ready, and we can be in the girls' bathroom at a moment's notice.

· Tekken 6 (whatwillyoufightfor.com, via Violet Blue)

Too Hot For Disney: Ho White And The Seven Dwarves

Ottimo Massimo — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:30:01 EDT

We sure hope the Jamieson's Beer people have sold some beer, because Disney now wants their heart cut out and put in a box.

The Foundry, the advertising agency that skankified the classic character, said they "challenged the consumer's notion of what this beer was," and we couldn't agree with them more. Allegedly, the dwarves (dwarfs?) represent seven types of drunks, but they could just as easily represent the seven types of post-coital emotions. It must be some damn good beer.

If Disney were smart, they'd put all this bad blood aside and cast Megan Fox in the Ho White full-length feature (she kinda looks like Megan Fox, doesn't she?). All this press is just going to sell more raspberry ale and cartoon porn, and Disney isn't doing anything to capitalize on that. Keep your pimp hand strong, Disney.

· AdFreak.com (adweek.com)
· AdelaideNow (news.com.au)

Bitch Says No To Pussy—And We Wonder Why

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:30:01 EDT

Bitch Magazine—a feminist publication you may have heard of—recently rejected the above ad for VooDoo Doughnut's branded clothing line. Their rationale? They felt it was sexist, and objectifies a woman's body in order to sell clothing.

But what makes this story really interesting is that Bitch isn't your ordinary "no naked ladies, please" feminist magazine—as things go, they're pretty pro-sexy. In the past, they've run ads for porn sites (including a porn site run by yours truly); they've also sponsored burlesque festival Tease-O-Rama (a move they got a good deal of flack for).

So what, pray tell, makes this specific act of sexiness one that's anti-feminist? Is it the fact that the sexiness is gratuitous? Is the pubic hair just a bit over the line? Is it the line about good things in pink boxes? We're scratching our heads over here—but we'd love to hear your thoughts on the issue.

· Rejected Ad Of The Week: Bitch Turns Down Pussy (animalnewyork.com)

Abbey Clancy Gets Out Her Cans For Cans (Of Pepsi)

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 13:30:01 EDT

WAG/model Abbey Clancy is putting her cans to good use (and one that's not just making us drool). She's gotten all dolled up an put the girls out there to shill for mansoda Pepsi Max.

Because if a half-naked, wet Abbey Clancy doesn't make you want to spend your shillings on a diet soda for men...we're not sure that anything ever will.

· Abbey Clancy Peels Off! (zootoday.com)

American Apparel Models Have Nothing To Hide

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

And it's a good thing too, because when they're modeling seethrough lingerie like this, it's very, very hard to hide anything at all. If only all clothing companies operated with this kind of transparency.

It'd certainly be a lot harder for them to get away with corporate shenanigans...or, er, at least it'd be easier for us to scope out the butts and other bits of their models. Which, if you ask us, would do the world a phenomenal amount of good. (And by the world, we mostly mean us.)

· The latest from American Apparel's crack ad team. (copyranter.blogspot.com)