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· Fat Beach Patrol 4 (PornoTube)
· Fat Beach Patrol # 4 DVD (cduniverse.com)

Previously: Fleshbot PSI: Find This Shark!

I don't think it's her. not because the woman in the tape actually has rhythm [Ed. - Zing!] ... but because it doesn't really look like her at all. Also she's a big pop star, do you really think that she'd get it on in what looks to be a dorm room?

Fair enough. But the lady in question does have black hair, big tits, and it would explain the "acute anxiety" that caused the cancellation of her tour—which come to think of it are also the exact same excuses we would have used to verify the Britney Spears tape that never was. On second thought, maybe we just have the wrong pop star.

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— White Stripes Drummer Sex Tape? (PornoTube)
· "Meg White's So-Called Sex Tape Gives Hacky Bloggers Yet Another Reason To Use The Phrase 'Icky Thump'" (Idolator; see also commentary @ Brooklyn Vegan, Stereogum, and Oh No They Didn't!)

Update(s) A reader notes the resemblance between whoever's in this video and porn starlet Natasha Nice ... and another helpfully reminds everyone that the clip has been floating around the interweb for at least two weeks now as just another random amateur porn video, as posted on Post Your Girls (scroll down to September 12) and here. Moral: labelling a random amateur porn clip with the name of a celebrity does not a real celebrity sex video make, kids!

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Previously: You'll Be Shocked To Learn Who's In This Sex Tape (Assuming You've Heard Of Her, That Is), VH1's "Rock Of Love" Porn Star?, BREAKING: Britney Spears Sex Tape, Maybe

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· "Amish Mennonite Emily Hardcore Creampie Fuck!" (PornoTube)

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Previously: Mennonite Mayhem: Hardcore Amish Amateur Porn, Flesh Flicks Archives

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· Bathroom (Shufuni)

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· Laundry Room (Shufuni)

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· Living Room (Shufuni)

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· Elevator (Shufuni)

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· Parking Garage (Shufuni)

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· Wood Shop (PornoTube)

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· Office (Shufuni)

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· Another Office (PornoTube)

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· Office Kitchen (Haporn)

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· Back Alley (Shufuni)

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· strippers backstage ... OR cheerleaders after practice? You decide. (Shufuni + Haporn)

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Previously: Video Playpen Archive

· Mannequin Ride (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

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· Kinky Kitchen Sex (Shufuni)

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· Kitchen Sex Caught (PornoTube)

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· 2 chicks 1 dude (Haporn)

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· Japan Kitchen Cumshot (Shufuni)

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· brunette (Haporn)

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· Amateur Girl Masturbating In The Kitchen (Shufuni)

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· BabySitter Fucked in the kitchen (Haporn)

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· Kitchen Blowjob (Shufuni)

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· kitchen fun 2 (Haporn)

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Previously: Video Playpen Archive

It's pretty rare these days for porno films to get custom made music or—perish the thought—a title track written specifically for the movie ... with lyrics even! But Brian Pumper is a rare individual who writes, performs, directs, and apparently raps his way through dangerous situations and he wouldn't be doing it if the threat he seeks to warn us about was not a grave one. "Earthquake Booty" represents a serious challenge to our nation's infrastructure and if it isn't brought under control soon, these bubbly behinds will reduce our cities to rubble. Not even George Kennedy can save us from this Big One, so our only hope it that when it does happen, that we aren't caught with our pants down. (Metaphorically speaking, of course.)

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· Earthquake Booty (preview + download info @ PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

As they are wont to do, our pals at Pornzio got us thinking about something a little unusual today. Namely, milk. Not milkshakes, or tit milk or even milking the old nozzle. We're talking about the 2% variety, poured right into a lady's business and pumped out the hard way—via a nice hard fisting. The geyser-like reaction is not unlike the old Diet Coke/Mentos experiment, only much, much tastier. In other words, don't try this at home even if you're literally having an affair with the milkman. Even if it does do a body good.

· Woman gets milk poured into pussy and then fisted (PornoTube)

· Got Milk? (PornoTube)
· Milk Fisting Porn (pornzio.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks: The Way of the Fist, Mondo Porn: The Wacky Side Of Smut, Cowgirls Espresso: Coffee, Tea, or T&A?, DVD Review: "Dirt Pipe Milkshakes 2", Titmilker

No offense to the fun-loving woman in this homemade clip, but we find it hard to believe that she is young enough to be truly worried about being caught in the act by her parents. Once you've reached MILF status yourself, there really shouldn't be any reason for you to be doing it on your folks' bed. Perhaps we didn't understand her clearly, and she's actually worried that it will be her kids that stumble in on this daytime fucking session, which would be a bit awkward. No one really wants think of their own mom in that ILF category, let know discovering that she's a minor internet star. The solution, as always, is to keep your bedroom door well locked.

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· "Mom" (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Instead of going to the beach (too sandy) or a boring ol' BBQ (too saucy) this weekend, why not take a different trip—back in time to the 1970s, that magical era of natural boobs and unshaved privates, when porn came out of the closet and on to your bulky and expensive Betamax. That 70's Porn is a blog devoted to this golden age of adult cinema when the first true pornstars were born and "reality" was not a genre, but something to be avoided at all cost. All the legends can be found here, including some you probably never heard of or thought you'd see again. Since the industry hasn't always done the best job of preserving its history, it's quite a feat to track down all this material ... and amazingly corny clips like the one you'll find after the jump. If this reminds you a little too much of your own first time, don't worry: losing your virginity in real life was probably even more awkward.

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· Vintage Porn - Teenage Fantasies (PornoTube)
· That 70's Porn - Classic Porn from the Golden Age (70sporn.thumblogger.com)

Previously: Debbie Did Dallas: The Search For Bambi Woods, Video Playpen: Classic Pornstar Tribute, Journey Without Clothes: Kay Parker on "Taboo", Klaus Harmony: "The Mozart of Porn", Papa's Retro Porn Movies, Vintage Porn Magazines @ Yurmag

Keeping with the whole Mommy's Day theme, it seemed like a good time to revisit an old friend: The Milf Hunter. His name is what he does of course, and he's been at it long time ... maybe too long? We don't want to tell the guy how to his job, but it does appear that he occasionally chooses to slum it down in the lower age brackets, taking down big game that looks like they're still playing in their own soccer games, not hauling little ones around to theirs in a minivan. Or maybe moms are just getting hotter all the time? Can we see some 2257 documentation for the over-40 set?

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· Milf Hunter - Ryan Conner (XXXUploads)
· Milf Hunter (milfhunter.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Why do good athletes always get to have sex with the cheerleader? It's not enough that they're good athletes with adoring fans, they have to get all the chicks too? It's hard going through life as a clumsy, uncoordinated chump, but it would be nice if the bench warmers occasionally got a chance to feel good about themselves—and got a chance to score. Or at least stuff them in a locker that has a view of the head cheerleader banging the star of the basketball team. They aren't getting any playing time, so give them at least one reason to come to practice.

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· Hot cheerleader fucked on lockerroom (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

This post is a public service announcement from Fleshbot: Guys, if you're lucky enough to find yourself invited to a drunken frat house orgy, don't be That Guy. You know who we're talking about. The guy who's always hooting and hollering at the sight of girl boobies—or in this case, the guy who gets in the way of the shot and stares in amazement as though he's never seen a real life vagina before and keeps sticking his face in the camera to give a wide-eyed thumbs up to the audience. (It's called "breaking the fourth wall", and it totally spoils the fantasy for everyone who's watching. Don't do it.) We suppose every drunken frat house orgy has to have one, but just because you are a drunken over-the-hill frat boy doesn't mean you have to be him. That is all. We now return you to your regular orgy programming.

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· Drunken Orgy (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Speaking of domination accessories today, we thought you might like to see a little bit of some of them in action. It's the professional porn version of domination, not the home recreation type, but ordering people around can be a lot of fun no matter where you are: blindfolding has its place when it comes to sex play, and so does a little rope bondage. The cock and ball torture? Well, that's for serious-minded BDSM enthiusiasts only and definitely not for the faint of heart (or tender of crotch). Real pain is the advanced class—but if you think you're ready for it, bite down on something hard and give it a whirl. (Or good, strong tug, as the case may be.)

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· DragonLily gives blowjob in bondage (PornoTube)

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· cock and ball punishment (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

What is going on with our nation's toy chests? Yesterday, it was BDSM enthusiast teddy bears and today we encounter strap-on wielding mini-robots. What's a girl to do when even her playful bedroom friends want a piece? We'd register some sort of complaint about the loss of our wild-eyed innocence, but let's face it ... our innocence went out the window a long time ago. Also, are we crazy or does this little guy sound a bit like an undersized Nick Manning? Now that's a chilling scenario.

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· Robots Need Love Too (PornoTube)
· Wow Wee's Robosapien (wowwee.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks: Bondage, Teddy Bear Style, Flesh Flicks Archives

We can't be sure of the exact circumstances of each case involving sexual relationships between teachers and students that we seem to encounter every time we check the news these days, but maybe some of them start exactly like this one. A few muscleheaded jocks get held back for 10-12 years, a hot teacher keeps them after school for a round table discussion of that day's reading material, and the next thing you know ... gangbang! It's true that group learning has its advantages, but if this is what that No (30-Something) Student Left Behind thing is all about, we should have a talk with our school board.

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· Sex With a Teacher (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Fumbling around in the back seat of your parents' Oldsmobile is a time-honored tradition that all car-loving Americans hold dear. So it's no surprise that when those horny teenagers grow up and can afford their own vehicles, they're going to get busy in them. And probably film it too. As usual, this collection doesn't even scratch the surface of car-related porn (and doesn't even include your classic gear shift insertions), but it should get you started off down the freeway of love. Just remember to always set your parking break and check your blinds spots. The last thing you want is to get rear-ended. (Accidentally, that is.)

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· Car Fuck (Haporn)

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· Cum-Roof (Car Roof Job I - Trailer) (PornoTube)

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· Cum-Roof (Car Roof Job II) (PornoTube)

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· bangbus Kate (Haporn)

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· Orgasm in Car (PornoTube)

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· Car accident victim fucked (Haporn)

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· Trunking (PornoTube)

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· caravane (PornoTube)

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· car fucking (PornoTube)

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· Washing the windshield with her boobs (Haporn)

· Thumbnail image via funpic.hu

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Previously: Video Playpen Archive

As usual, we're not entirely sure how the title of this video applies to the content. We can't tell who the teacher is or if one or both of these girls are the pets, and once they break out the strap-ons and double dildos, it's definitely not clear who is schooling who. Perhaps it's a metaphor for how we all have something to learn about life and love, and maybe in the grand scheme of things we're all the "teacher's pet"? That must be it. We still don't know what the ass-to-ass portion symbolizes, but once we find out you'll be the first to know.

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· Teacher's Pets Mindy Michelle w/ Celeste Mulet (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

When you see a preview gallery on a lesbian porn site or two chicks getting friendly in our Best of Babelogs Archive, it usually really does look like they're lost in their own world of moist Sapphic rapture—but things are actually much more difficult than they appear. You think it's easy to hold still for minutes at a time with one leg high in the air and another girl's tongue on your pussy ring? As evidenced by these clips of the sublime Tall Goddess and helpmeet Eva during a shoot for master erotic photographer Earl Miller, these ladies are all business—and even if their business happens to be having sex with other hot ladies (grueling work, we know), respect should be paid. And even if sometimes it's more fun not to know how the ... er, sausage is made.

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· Tall Goddess and Eva. Lesbian box munch (PornoTube)

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· Tall Goddess and Eva.Lesbian box munch2 (PornoTube)

See also:
· Earl Miller (paysite preview @ earlmiller.com)
· Tall Goddess (tallgoddess.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives