What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? Grinders, Gyros, And Hoagies Edition

"I would like to grind your cock into a fine paste," Brea Bennett did not say at a news conference announcing her "Cock Grinder" movie. "Or maybe a meal from which I can make my family's tortillas." As head-scratchingly bad a title something implying that, should your penis pass through Bennett's folds, it will be ground is, I'm sure you can imagine a much, much more horrifying title.

Go, as they say, nuts because, like the subject of last week's winner josereyes, you're "smart! Not like everybody says!"

· Club Jenna (clubjenna.com)
· Buy "Brea Bennett: Cock Grinder" (gamelink.com)

When you took your SATs last year, doubtless you encountered the analogy "Love is to porn as sports is to X." And if for X you chose "professional wrestling" you will be delighted with today's feature film spotlight, which combines porn and wrestling in the same way couchbound people yearned for Alien and Predator to get it on.

Sometimes she uses a simple vegetable mist, sometimes she uses Crisco, sometimes she uses her own essential oils. But(t) no matter what she does to make her ass look so slippery, America's hopes and dreams are reflected and take root in Buttwoman's shiny bum, as will no doubt be stated over and over again in this fortnight's political conventions.

Once the title held by Belladonna, Tianna Lynn, Brianna Love, and Lauren Phoenix, Buttwoman is now the domain of Alexis Texas. At a solemn ceremony earlier this week, Texas acknowledged that with great power comes great responsibility, and vowed to avoid offshore drilling in search for the excess of emollients her ass requires.

• Alexis Texas (Wikipedia)
• Watch the "Buttwoman" Trailer (elegantangel.com)
• Elegant Angel (elegantangel.com)
• Alexis Texas Galleries: 1, 2 (nsgalleries.com. via askjolene.com)

What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? Catatonia Edition

Submitted for your approval: There is something not quite sentient about the woman on the left, being disrobed for your delectation in this Earl Miller movie. Now I get glazed looks like this all day, running as I do the Dunkin' Donuts concession inside Bogue Chitto High. But I don't know if these ladies are inviting me in or asking me to step outside while the formaldehyde tops off.

Two lines of dialogue from these women is all we ask you to provide if you want to join Zipper in the winners' circle.

· Earl Miller (earlmiller.com)
· Buy "Earl Miller's Naughty Girls" (gamelink.com)

We're constantly getting complaints constructive criticism around here for neglecting to post erotic material aimed specifically at heterosexual women—this despite the fact that there are at least two of them on our masthead who are responsible for much of our content, and we like to think that a lot of what we post is of interest to anyone who appreciates teh sexy anyway. But why quibble? Instead, let's just move ahead and share with you this gorgeous if curiously titled Tumblr which features dozens of photos of straight couples going at it by some of the world's most celebrated erotic photographers—and which unlike many similar picdump blogs doesn't skimp when it comes to showing off teh cock or teh manbutt (not to mention teh pussy eating and teh oral cumshots). We hope this goes some way towards making some of our more vocal critics happy today. It's sure bringing a smile to our face.

• Le Chagrin (chagrin.tumblr.com, via Indie Nudes)
• Thumbnails via Explicité + Claude Fauville + Nestor Alvarez Zeballo @ chagrin.tumblr.com

To know jessica drake—or at least to bump into her semi-regularly—is to be infatuated with jessica drake. That is why hopes are high when Wicked gets around to jessica drake in its contract performer marquee movie rotation. And that drake gets around to Dana DeArmond turns out to be a pleasant surprise in "Kissing Girls."

What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? Gold Medal Edition

This publication seems to be in love with the word "fap" as much as the nation is in love with Michael Phelps. So why not combine them? At least for the duration of this post, substitute "Phelps" for "fap" and consider the onomatopoetic implications (I imagine the L sound coming from a punch to the throat when it's done).

Anyway, if you were running the Beijing Olympics, what sexy sport—and we're talking medal sports, not demonstration sports—would you like to see your country's porn performers competing in? Be like last week's winners and don't keep switching between the Olympics and a pledge drive version of "Celtic Thunder."

· Private (private.com)
· Buy "Private Gold #100 - Pornolympics The Anal Games" (gamelink.com)

Remember Elli and Desi Foxx—the mother and daughter who are so close that they do everything together, even porn? Well it turns out they're even closer than we knew: in addition to living together and having the same career, they also keep a joint blog! (Well, Desi seems to be the one who keeps it, but at least it seems to be about both of them.). If you're curious to know what the daily life of a mother and daughter who both happen to be porn performers is like (and who wouldn't be), you've come to the right place: the blog is full of things like news on their talk show appearances, assorted Porn Valley drama, and—of course—plenty of behind-the-scenes porn set action. After all, you know what they say about the family who ... well, we'll let you fill out the rest of that heartwarming phrase yourself.

· Porn In The Valley (desifoxx.com)

A recent website poll—as scientific a study as one can get—reveals that lesbians are not thrilled with the state of girl-on-girl action in their porn. Believe it or not, porn companies tend to cater to straight dudes, so even though 62% their output contains scenes of girls going wild on other girls, it's not exactly what turns real lesbians on. They want a little bit of foreplay, extended oral sex, and someone who actually knows where the clit is. (Good luck with that!) All too often you have to deal with the porn you have, not the porn you want—but with a little extra effort sometimes you can find what you're looking for. So in the interest of helping our frustrated lesbian friends—and encouraging pornographers everywhere to cater to more tastes—we've tried put together a roundupof some the best smut of the girls and for the girls that we know of. Hey, it was the least the straight part of this operation could do.

· "Lesbians demand more and better porn" (pinknews.co.uk)

So you've watched your fair share of bondage porn, and you're starting to think that maybe you'd like to explore some bondage in the bedroom. But where to start? Though the pros may make it look easy, serious bondage isn't for beginners—and even with some practice, it's still advanced sex play. The last thing you want to do is get some rope and see how it goes. If you're going to go bound, you'll need some good guidelines and some easy to follow instructions.

Thankfully, Nina Hartley is here to offer her assistance, in the form of "Nina Hartley's Guide To Bondage Sex." With the help of bondage model and expert Claire Adams, Nina walks bondage beginners through all the basics of getting down and dirty while bound ... and throws in some super hot sex scenes by way of illustration.

Burnt Offerings: Viv Thomas' "Members Only 6"

While we are not the, er, house organ for Viv Thomas, we can explain covering two sequential titles in his "Members Only" series by saying that this one, confusingly, doesn't have cocks in it. Why, then, call it "Members Only"? Is this one of those Euro things like how cigarette holder-holding vamps refer to their parts as their "sex"? Don't they know what "member" means? Karen Black would know.

We know we tend to talk about our lesbian sistren around here like they're another (hotter) species, but the plain fact of the matter is that their lives are every bit as ordinary as everyone else's. Take Gina and Peaches here, the two luscious Viv Thomas stars who recently moved in together and decided to share their connubial bliss with the rest of us via a brand spanking new blog—which will (surprise!) also be promoting their new paysite venture. So far the blog only contains PG-13 content like photos of the darling duo on location in Portugal and video clips from parties they've attended with the Viv Thomas crew, though we're promised behind-the-scenes peeks of "their very own lesbian scenes with an array of friends and models" and "private sex tapes" before too long. Hmm, work that involves skipping around Europe and private sex tapes starring a bunch of hot porn babes ... maybe lesbians like Peaches and Gina really are different from the rest of us after all?

• Lesbians At Home: Blog (lesbians-at-home.com/blog)