Even Sasha Grey has to work her way up the normal ranks of German power. First you have to be in "art" magazines, then GQ, then Playboy, and then you become Chancellor (with a simultaneous yet clandestine grip on Deutsche Bank). Of course, she's trying to expedite the process by dressing up like Nabokov's Lolita. Best of luck to you, Sasha; there are so many countries still standing.

· Sasha Grey x Playboy Germany (yuhmm.com)

In all honesty, the spread is rather tasteful. We genuinely guffawed during the interview, especially when Marge asserted that she was happy to be a "MILK—a Mom I'd Like to Know." It's just so wholesome. And this is probably the most exciting celebrity cover to come out in a while.

The only real disturbances were Marge's boobs under the gauzy negligee. Maybe it's just the pink-sheen from her outfit, or the fact that she has nipples, but they look too...human. Too Playboy-approved. Too perky. Marge has three kids, and we always assumed she breastfed them. Could Krusty-brand Baby Formula be the key to her youthful bounce?

· Marge Simpson's Playboy Photos Revealed (worstpreviews.com)

Back to The Real Sex Bombs Of The "Mad Men" Era
Dianne Danford, Miss November 1961
freeweb.hu

Back to The Real Sex Bombs Of The "Mad Men" Era
Jan Roberts, Miss August 1962
freeweb.hu

Back to The Real Sex Bombs Of The "Mad Men" Era
Judi Monterey, Miss January 1963
freeweb.hu

Back to The Real Sex Bombs Of The "Mad Men" Era
China Lee, Miss August 1964
freeweb.hu

Back to The Real Sex Bombs Of The "Mad Men" Era
Hedy Scott, Miss June 1965
freeweb.hu

Back to The Real Sex Bombs Of The "Mad Men" Era
Dolly Read, Miss May 1966
freeweb.hu

Back to The Real Sex Bombs Of The "Mad Men" Era
Fran Gerard, Miss March 1967
freeweb.hu

Back to The Real Sex Bombs Of The "Mad Men" Era
Dru Hart, Miss September 1968
freeweb.hu

Back to The Real Sex Bombs Of The "Mad Men" Era
Jean Bell, Miss October 1969
freeweb.hu

Back to The Real Sex Bombs Of The "Mad Men" Era

In the process, she also posted some classic (read: before pubic hair showed up) Playboy centerfolds and reminded us of all the good retrofap floating around on the internet. So instead of pawing through your father's garage in search of his nudie stash, why don't you check out what Violet has to offer?

Of course, we also have a few classic nudes that'd give your old man's collection a run for his money. (Did you know that the first Playboy cost 50 cents?) And if you don't feel like roaming for your next meal, we've got some vintage cheesecake right here.

· the real sexbombs of the Mad Men era (tinynibbles.com)
· Thumbnail Star: Hedy Scott, Miss June 1965 (freeweb.hu)

Our question (besides whether Marge is a natural bluehead): should we feel sadder for Hugh Hefner or Matt Groening?

· Ay, Caramba! Marge Simpson Gets Nude for Playboy (eonline.com)
· Thumbnail via Cartoon Fucking (cartoon-fucking.thumblogger.com)

In order to determine which girl deserves this coveted honor, Playboy has created the Best Butt Bracket. 64 Cybergirls enter the ring, and after a fierce process of elimination, one is crowned with the honor of Playboy's Best Butt—and is ensured a lifetime of happiness in the process.

The fate of these posteriors lies in your hands: who will you choose?

· Best Butt Bracket (playboy.com)

Yeah, there aren't even any nipples in the set, but after this much hype, how can you not look?

· Heidi Montag Sexy Playboy Photos (playboy.com)

Unfortunately, boobs seem to be about the only thing this movie has going for it. Craig Robinson's joke rap doesn't even make sense. (Think about it: sucking someone's dick while they're fucking your asshole is physically impossible. Come on, people.)

On the plus side, Eve Mauro is edging ever closer to becoming one of our favorite actresses. Is the girl ever not topless and/or making out with someone?

· Clips via Celebcap (celebcap.net)

Yes, Playboy's pitched in to make your staycation a little bit sexier. They're taking us all on a virtual tour of Europe (and, of course, its women). They're already three weeks in to their seven week voyage, and if you ask us, it's been one hell of a trip. We'll definitely be sticking around to see what the future brings.

· Playboy Staycation (playboy.com)
· Thumbnail: Mai-Lan Leenders makes going Dutch look better than ever

Well, there are some boobs, and a little bit of groping, and, hey, Ron Jeremy shows up for about two seconds—but that's about it. Apparently, that's all you need to allow a publicist to declare that "This is easily the most scandalous video released in the last decade." (Which we totally agree with, provided you insert "featuring Escape the Fate" after video, and change "decade" to "day.")

· Video Exclusive: Escape the Fate (playboy.com)

Olivia Munn Playboy Pictures (egotastic.com)
Olivia Munn Playboy Pictures (egotastic.com)
Olivia Munn Playboy Pictures (egotastic.com)
Olivia Munn Playboy Pictures (egotastic.com)
Olivia Munn Playboy Pictures (egotastic.com)

On the bright side: Olivia Munn in a bikini? That's pretty hot too. (Beggars can't be choosers, right?)

· Olivia Munn's Playboy Cover Reveal (g4tv.com)

How does it work, you ask? Why, just upload a photo to Flickr, and tag it Iwanttobeaplayboymodel or Iwanttobeaplayboyphotographer (depending on your qualifications)...then sit back and wait for that sweet, sweet email from Playboy. It's just that easy!

But you don't have to take our word for it. Browse the selection of wannabe Playmates and Playtographers in the Playboy Talent Search photo pool for yourself—or hey, if you're feeling lucky, submit a photo for Playboy's consideration.

· Playboy Talent Search (flickr.com)
· Thumbnail photo by wouldbe Playtographer lazareva valeria (flickr.com)

And while you're at it, feel free to browse the accompanying selection of Playmates from the '70s and '80s (you know, back when Playmates actually still had "hair down there.").

· Hierarchy of Hair Down There (playboy.com)

Christy Canyon: The Lost Footage

Studio: Antigua
Director: Several
Cast: Christy Canyon, Crystal Heart, Sasha Strange, Mandy Wine, Chantel, Tom Byron, Randy West, Joey Silvera, Ron Jeremy

Review by: Gram Ponante

Watching this series of 16 never-before-digitized scenes featuring Christy Canyon, it is easy to think of her existing only in the past. The cheesy 80's porno music, the hazy video, the pubes. But Canyon is just 43 today, the same age or younger than several newly-minted milves or porn performers on comeback tours. Still, these scenes from the late 80's and early 90's are time capsules, and we think: They don't make 'em like Christy Canyon anymore.

One word that describes Canyon throughout this hastily-edited movie is ripe. Curvy and ready to go, Canyon teams up with Tom Byron, Joey Silvera, a transition-period Ron Jeremy when he was halfway between his 70's debut physique and the VH-1 staple he has become, ala Marlon Brando in "Last Tango in Paris," and a sweaty Randy West who has a strenuous romp with Canyon that makes the viewer happy for both of them.

Canyon bounces between a fresh and healthy eagerness and a signature 80's coke-fueled edge in these scenes, but you never have the feeling she's gone or about to go over the edge (now a popular host on Playboy Radio and an author of the first of two volumes of autobiography, Canyon has kicked the skinny powder).

The movies from which these scenes were taken are not named, nor are Canyon's costars, but each interlude is worthwhile, and viewers are treated to Porn Valley vistas as they looked two decades ago (in one scene, Canyon thumbs a ride from a motorcyclist. "Take me to the nearesst big city!" she says, but he balks. Had the camera but panned slightly to the left, we would have seen that we were already in Los Angeles and the biker wouldn't have to drive too far for his imminent seatback blowjob).

"Christy Canyon: The Lost Footage" has a ragtag feel about it, and maybe the scavenged movies were not deemed good enough to transfer to DVD when the technology became available, but each scene clearly shows why Canyon is a beloved star in the porn firmament, and is a great jumpoff point for further Canyon scholarship.

· Antigua Pictures (antiguapictures.com)
· Buy "Reform School Girls 3" (gamelink.com)

Apparently, the brand that once called up images of smoking jackets and martinis now wants to be affiliated with fast food (okay, good fast food, but fast food).

And that's not all: they decided to call this spot "Two Girls, One Sub." Does anyone actually remember what "Two Girls, One Cup" was about? And if so, why did they decide that that would be an appropriate inspiration for the title of a food ad?

It's almost enough to put us off our Quiznos veggie sub. Almost. (What can we say? It's a delicious sandwich!)

· 2 Girls 1 Sub (playboy.com)

In an attempt to keep the hype going do us a solid, Playboy's made a select few images from the shoot available (for free!) as a sneak preview. Alas, none of the free photos are actually nude—if you want to see titty shots, you'll have to sign up to be a member of Playboy. On the plus side, though, Carlie's preview page also features a video of her giving her own take on the firing side. Hey, you win some, you lose some, right?

· Carlie Christine (playboy.com, via examiner.com)

What's a wouldbe Casanova to do? Head to the internet and hit up Playboy's website, where "M*sic To F*ck To" is waiting to provide the so*ndtrack to yo*r sex. Playboy will be releasing one sixty minute track per month (available for download as a—DRM free!—download).

First up: Viennese duo Tosca, who provide a little preview of their upcoming album, "No Hassle." Future recordings will feature Larry Tee, Bloody Beetroots, Heartbreak and DJ Skribble as well as anyone else who's "blowing up in the clubs." (And if you're not into music that's "blowing up in the clubs, well, we guess you're on your own on this one.)

· M*sic To F*ck To (playboy.com)
· Image courtesy of Playboy (playboy.com)