Fleshbot: photos

Santa Claus Is The Best Pornstar Ever: A Study

Ottimo Massimo — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 17:00:00 EST

If you were a mythical being who snuck into houses at night with an infinite bag of goodies, you'd probably get laid all the time. Here are some films that teach us about the true meaning of XXX-mas.

It'd be too easy to brush off sexual Santa flicks as an easy way to cash in on the holiday season; this definitely goes deeper than economics. Santa Claus is the Übermensch of porn, he's one of the few magical beings we feel comfortable with in our home, and he only gets one night per year to party. As these films will show, Santa's lap isn't just a place where wishes come true, it's a seat of power.

Miracle On 69th Street
This time, Kris Kringle isn't worried about making amends between rival department stores or proving that he really is Santa Claus. He's just trying to stuff some stockings, and move to the next town.
Moral of the story: Santa is not a one woman man, even Mrs. Claus knows that.
· Buy "Miracle On 69th Street" (gamelink.com)

All I Want For Christmas Is A Gang Bang
This memorable gangbang flick from the early '90s isn't holding up the Santa-is-real charade. Ron Jeremy and eight other Salvation Army volunteers take a break from asking for donations to go ring bells in the mall. Kerri Downs and Annabel Chong can't spare any money, but they figure the Santas deserved something for their hard work.
Moral of the story: Even if Santa Claus isn't real, his image is so powerful that it commands loose women to share their bodies with any guy wearing red velvet and a beard.
· Buy "All I Want For Christmas Is A Gang Bang" (gamelink.com)

Private Black Label 48: Sexy Santa
So, as it turns out, there's not just one plump, jolly, old Santa, but many young, voluptuous, seductive female Santas. If you're naughty, they hold you prisoner and taunt you with their nudity and masturbation. If you're nice, they sneak into your bed at night—whether or not there's someone already with you, like your wife—and fuck you senseless.
Moral of the story: It doesn't matter if you're naughty or nice, everyone deserves something special for Christmas.
· Buy "Private Black Label 48: Sexy Santa" (gamelink.com)

Santa's Itty Bitty Titty Helpers
Christmas isn't just about getting new things, it's about appreciating what you already have. When women wish for larger, fuller, bouncier boobs, Santa feels obligated to hop off the sleigh and declare his love for petite tits. And to make sure his message is clear, he will also have sex with the women.
Moral of the story: People don't always get what they want for Christmas, but Santa does.
· Buy "Santa's Itty Bitty Titty Helpers" (gamelink.com)

Yo Yo Yo: A Very Black Christmas Tale
Here's the description gamelink.com provides: "This is a very black Christmas tale. Have you been dreaming of a bad Christmas? And when I said bad, I mean good. Well, here it is. Rudolph's hot nose will lead us from one smoking scene to the next."
Moral of the story: Rudolph is our favorite reindeer.
· Buy "Yo Yo Yo: A Very Black Christmas Tale" (gamelink.com)

Hustler's Barely Legal - The Bitch That Stole Christmas
Santa's just trying to get work done, but all the women at the North Pole are on his jock. Ashli Orion, Tori Black, Audrey Hollander, and Tiffany Price decide to steal the Christmas cheer and use it for an all-out fuckfest. Santa's doesn't stand for that; if there's going to be a pile of squirming nakedness on the workshop floor, he's going to be king of the heap.
Moral of the story: Santa Claus, like the moon, has an inescapable tidal pull on women that not even he can ignore. Also, he gives the elves sloppy seconds.
· Buy "Hustler's Barely Legal - The Bitch That Stole Christmas" (gamelink.com)

The Tits That Saved XXX-Mas
It's sort of the inverse of "The Bitch That Stole Christmas," in that tits are part of the solution, not the problem. When Christmas is in danger of being cancelled, Mrs. Claus (Ava Devine) deputizes her special helpers to lift Mr. Claus' spirits. And they do just that.
Moral of the story: Santa knows how to pick his women; Mrs. Claus is down for whatever.
· Buy "The Tits That Saved XXX-Mas" (gamelink.com)

Santa's Revenge
We're not really sure what this one is about. We assume that Jenny Hendrix leaves out porn for Santa Claus to watch, and he falls asleep after jerking off. It's like "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" except the porn DVD is mommy and kissing is significantly less important of an event.
Moral of the story: Santa has his priorities straight: porn > cookies and milk.
· Buy "Santa's Revenge" (gamelink.com)

Nice Jewish Girls
Christmas isn't the only December holiday worth porn-ifying, but sadly, there's a complete dearth of Hanukkah or Kwanzaa porn. The most likely cause is the absence of identifiable or marketable figures in the traditions of the other holidays. Since no one will take our script for a Hanukkah gangbang with Judah Maccabee and eight women ("I only have enough cum for one!"), we'll have to settle for James Deen dressed in Hasidic garb.
Moral of the story: James Deen may be Santa's only threat.
· Buy "Nice Jewish Girls" (gamelink.com)

Blinded By The Boobs

Ottimo Massimo — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 15:30:01 EST

Fashion model Lyoka Tyagnereva is so comfortable with showing nudity, she doesn't even care if images of her boobs are burned onto our retinas (which it so is). (fashiongonerogue.com)

Put A Credit Card On It: Jade Vixen

Ottimo Massimo — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 16:30:01 EST

As much as we love trolling the internet for free smut, sometimes it's fun to throw down a bit of cash on something worthwhile. With that in mind, allow us to introduce you to Jade Vixen.

Jade Vixen explains her career choice as an extension of a youthful interest in fetish gear and culture. She models "to show [her] adoration for fetish fashion and to showcase [her] wardrobe of custom outfits," and her website really reflects respect for her community. Click through the gallery to get a free taste!

Jade is a versatile gal, especially compared to some other fetish models we've seen. She can pull a Doll Face style one moment, become a dominatrix the next, and neither option feels like a strain of range.

If her name sounds familiar to you, that's because Jade made quite a name for herself on the Howard Stern Show. Back in September, she competed in and won the Stronget Naked Woman contest, earning her a nifty cash prize and some niftier publicity. But we're getting off topic.

JadeVixen.com isn't a one-woman show, she collaborates with some of our favorite models like Mosh and Darenzia. In addition, there are a couple galleries with photos (like this one!) take by the luxurious Holly Randall of Suze.net.

You might be wondering, "Where does my money go? Why do I have to pay for this?" Well, Mr. Nosy, you're paying to keep Jade Vixen in Libidex catsuits, Agent Provocateur undies, and Wolford tights designed by Zac Posen. It's a delicious cycle of luxury paying for itself.

That being said, if latex, rubber, and leather rub you the wrong way, Jade's still got you covered. She shows off her lingerie collection in a bunch of galleries, as well as in a short movie of her stripping on a roof somewhere in Brooklyn. One of the niftier items on her site is a Links section where you can browse her photos by category. So if you're in the mood for corsets and high heels, you can cross-reference them and arrive at your ideal fap material for the evening.

Not everything is golden in the land of Vixen. Her website, while easy to explore, doesn't feel complete. While there are currently 52 galleries (with a calendar that shows when more will arrive), Jade only offers three videos. There's also a Model Index, but the only entry reads "Jade Vixen." Perhaps Jade is preparing to turn her outfit into an empire—which we totally support—but leaving empty space for others robs the website of the intimacy you usually find with private, independent paysites.

All in all, we're happy to have gotten a glimpse at JadeVixen.com and the precise, exciting fetish aesthetic Jade has cultivated. We wish her much success.

· All photos courtesy of Jade Vixen (jadevixen.com)
· There's also Jade Vixen's Blog (jade-vixen-blog.blogspot.com)

Sweet Caroline Winberg For Your Morning

Ottimo Massimo — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 10:00:00 EST

Oh, Flair, you've done it again. Another gorgeous model topless on the pages of your majestic Italian fashion magazine. We must've done something good to deserve this.

First it was Andressa Fontana of Brazil, and now Caroline Winberg of Sweden. We'll make a deal: you show us one nude model for every country, and we'll keep reading. Sound good?

· Caroline Winberg - Topless in Flair Magazine (dailypoa.com)

The Fleshbot Awards From Joanna Angel's POV

Ottimo Massimo — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 15:00:00 EST

Yes, we keep talking about the Fleshbot Awards, and we apologize if it's getting old/narcissistic. But this is different. Now you can see the event through the eyes of Supreme Commandress Joanna!

In addition to thanking her fans and analyzing the gender-redefining dynamics of The Box's burlesque acts, Joanna also talks about canoodling with the other guests. While some of us get flustered around pornstars, Joanna floats around with ease (because she's a pornstar. Duh).

As for Levi Johnston, who seems to be everyone's favorite topic, Joanna has this to say:

He is pretty handsome. I don't normally crave Republican cock but I am certainly excited to see this one.

More photos/good times at XOXO Joanna Angel (xoxojoannaangel.com)

For Real? Unpublished Marilyn Monroe Nudie Pics?

Ottimo Massimo — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:30:01 EST

We have our doubts about these supposedly unused "Playboy Pics," but let's just pretend it really is her. It's refreshing to see Marilyn look a little more Norma Jeane, but still be naked.

As much as we'd like to do more research into these photographs, we'd prefer to just believe in the magic of Monroe. It's like our version of the Monroe Doctrine. Except instead of preventing European expansionist ideals from tampering with the Americas, we're preventing reality from disrupting a good, ol' timey wank.

· Marilyn Monroe Unpublished Playboy Pics / Die unveröffentlichten Playboyfotos (nacktfotoparadies.blogspot.com)

Andressa Undressa-ed For Flair Magazine

Ottimo Massimo — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:30:01 EST

Woo! Making fun of someone's name. That is high art. Let's be serious though: Andressa Fontana is gorgeous. These photos that Jeffrey Graetsch took for the Italian magazine, Flair, really capture something about her. Probably her breasts. (fashioncopious.typepad.com)

It's Raining, It's Pouring, Leah Francis Is Gorgeous

Ottimo Massimo — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:30:01 EST

It may not rhyme, but it's the honest truth: there is much moisture and Leah Francis is pleasing to look at.

In the interview, she notes that photo shoot would've been sexier had she whipped out some oil. Silly, Leah Francis! Oil and water don't mix. But if we could figure out a way to make it rain oil... yeah... now we're getting somewhere.

· Busty Nuts Model Leah Francis Has Great Boobs (dailypoa.com)

Joanna Angel Is An MMA-ILF

Ottimo Massimo — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:30:01 EDT

For those in the know, that means Mixed Martial Artist I'd Like To Fuck. Not fight, though. She beats people up.

Say what you will about violent sports, Supreme Commandress Joanna looks just as good all buffed-up as she does in the buff. Finally, after weeks of waiting, we got to see her step toe to toe with Rawdog, and she made him her bitch. Technically, she didn't win, but only because she stomped the guy while he was down. "I really did not want to fight like a ghetto chick but it was just my first instinct to do so."

Real talk, Joanna. Real talk.

· Fight Pictures from Ellis Mania! (more @ xoxojoannaangel.com)

Nuts Magazine Deems 2009 Over, Proves It With Boobs

Ottimo Massimo — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:30:01 EDT

It's not even Halloween, and Nuts has already come out with the Sexiest Naked Pics of 2009. How audacious! Let's debate this by looking at nude British women.

Isn't there still time for sexy pictures? We've still got November and December to look forward to, but it's possible the babes get the holidays off. How will we survive the cold months ahead? Who will provide Sexy Thanksgiving Photos? What about the Topless Dreidel Contest we were planning for Hanukah?

Thanks a lot, Nuts.

Photos via Daily Pieces of Ass (dailypoa.com)

Leah Francis (dailypoa.com)
Amy Green (dailypoa.com)
Danielle Lloyd (dailypoa.com)
Emma Glover (dailypoa.com)
Eva Wyrwal (dailypoa.com)
Kitty Lea (dailypoa.com)
Lindsey Strutt (dailypoa.com)
Lucy Pinder (dailypoa.com)
Peta Todd (dailypoa.com)
Rosie Jones (dailypoa.com)
Sophie Howard (dailypoa.com)

Joanna Krupa Returns To Playboy

Ottimo Massimo — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:30:01 EDT

For some people, Dancing With The Stars isn't enough. After all, there's no greater dance than the Playboy cover hustle.

The last time Joanna Krupa graced the pages of Playboy was June 2005! That was a whole other government administration. Pope Benedict XVI was barely pope! It's about time Joanna got back on the nudity game. We can't wait to see what she has to offer this amazing new world we live in. While we wait for the December issue, let's enjoy some vintage Joanna Krupa.

Photos via FListed (flisted.com)

Rhian's Breasts Have September, April, June, And November

Ottimo Massimo — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:30:01 EDT

All the rest have Rhian Sugden's gorgeous boobs, too! Save for October alone. Which has a bit of Rhian's bum.

Rhian Sugden 2010 Calendar (yuhmm.com)
Rhian Sugden 2010 Calendar (yuhmm.com)
Rhian Sugden 2010 Calendar (yuhmm.com)
Rhian Sugden 2010 Calendar (yuhmm.com)
Rhian Sugden 2010 Calendar (yuhmm.com)
Rhian Sugden 2010 Calendar (yuhmm.com)
Rhian Sugden 2010 Calendar (yuhmm.com)
Rhian Sugden 2010 Calendar (yuhmm.com)
Rhian Sugden 2010 Calendar (yuhmm.com)
Rhian Sugden 2010 Calendar (yuhmm.com)
Rhian Sugden 2010 Calendar (yuhmm.com)
http://www.yuhmm.com/rhian-sugden-2010-calendar/

Joanna Angel At The LA Tattoo Convention

Ottimo Massimo — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:30:01 EDT

Our Supreme Commandress spent the day at the Los Angeles Tattoo Convention, hanging with Burning Angel Starlets, getting more tattoos, and meeting fans. Where were we?

She even got to meet Paulie, one of the artists from "LA Ink," and give him her stamp of approval: "he also showed me some videos of himself getting a blowjob from someone on his phone. Anyone who does that within 2 minutes of meeting me is good in my book." If that's not a standard of friendship, then we simply do not have any friends.

Except this guy, he can be our friend. He knows what's up.

More photos of Supreme Commandress Joanna at XOXO Joanna Angel (xoxojoannaangel.com)

MMORPGers Rejoice: Kink.com Launches "3D Kink"

Ottimo Massimo — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:30:01 EDT

Just when you thought it was safe to play video games again, Kink comes up with something like this.

Porn and video games are like chocolate and peanut butter: you might be allergic to one or the other, but when you put them together it creates something novel and entertaining. There have certainly been sexual video games before, but never before has Kink.com been a part of the experience. As Violet Blue points out, "the staff at Kink are—as we all know—all about the 'safe, sane, consensual' aspects of BDSM, fetishes and kinky sex; plus have a very diverse and inclusive LGBTQ staff, so it's not your average endeavor."

What would the world be like if Kink weren't bogged down by laws, physics, or the Geneva Conventions? Only time will tell. For some additional screenshots, be sure to check out Violet Blue's article. If you want to start spanking, banging, shafting, dominating, and yiffing (yes, yiffing), you need to enter the world of 3D Kink.

· 3D Kink (3dkink.com)
· 3D Kink - "second life for sex" - launches! (tinynibbles.com)

January Jones And The Cleavage Believe-age

Ottimo Massimo — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:30:01 EDT

Did someone retouch January Jones' cleavage? Can we touch them? Please?

By now, you've probably seen the breathtaking photo spread of January Jones in November's GQ Magazine. Supposedly, quite a few people have been murmuring about the cover photo (seen above), and whether or not GQ enhanced Ms. Jones' breasts to make them look bigger. GQ released a quick rebuttal last Thursday saying the accusations are false. Still, some folks continue to sip the hater-ade.

Anyhow, altered or not, you should enjoy the following photos.

· Photos via GQ.com. (gq.com)

More Amazing Images From Exxxotica NYC 2009

auryn — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:30:01 EDT

Steve Prue is one of our favorite photographers around, and continues to prove it with these two great sets of photos from Exxxotica NYC. We have cool friends. What can we say?

Here is Steve's set from Friday.

Aaaaand his set from Saturday.

*****

· Photos by Steve Prue for TeamRockStarImages. (teamrockstarimages.com)

Is There Such A Thing As Being Too Perfect?

auryn — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 15:30:01 EDT

Case Study: Stella Dimitriou is a model and aspiring writer from Greece. She loves working out and hates liars. The question at hand is this: is it possible for a girl to be too perfect? Please discuss.

Stella Dimitriou on NSFW POA. (nsfwpoa.com)
Stella Dimitriou on NSFW POA. (nsfwpoa.com)
Stella Dimitriou on NSFW POA. (nsfwpoa.com)
Stella Dimitriou on NSFW POA. (nsfwpoa.com)
Stella Dimitriou on NSFW POA. (nsfwpoa.com)
Stella Dimitriou on NSFW POA. (nsfwpoa.com)
Stella Dimitriou on NSFW POA. (nsfwpoa.com)
Stella Dimitriou on NSFW POA. (nsfwpoa.com)

Those Gorgeous Eastern European Women — Veronika Pekurina

auryn — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 16:00:01 EDT

There's always been a special place in our heart for the breathtaking hotness of Eastern European women, and Veronika Pekurina only serves to reaffirm our love. Thanks to Estonian FHM for capturing this beauty.

Veronika Pekurina topless for FHM Estonia (www.nsfwpoa.com)
Veronika Pekurina topless for FHM Estonia (www.nsfwpoa.com)
Veronika Pekurina topless for FHM Estonia (www.nsfwpoa.com)
Veronika Pekurina topless for FHM Estonia (www.nsfwpoa.com)
Veronika Pekurina topless for FHM Estonia (www.nsfwpoa.com)

http://www.nsfwpoa.com/2009/08/veronika-pekurina-topless-for-fhm.html

Lucy Pinder Knows It's Not Soccer, It's Football.

auryn — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Like any true Brit, Lucy Pinder will tell you she's modeling (by which we mean "barely wearing") football, not soccer jerseys.

Nuts Magazine brings us superbabe Lucy Pinder's delectable breasts and her take on how the English Premier League's season is going to go as she takes off each one of the team's jerseys. We don't really know a terrific amount about sports, so we can't dispute any of her opinions on soccer. We're just going to do what any American would do: smile, nod and stare at her tits.

Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)
Lucy Pinder in Nuts (boobieblog.com)

Please Put The Seat Down

auryn — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:45:00 EDT

Photo by Richard Kern (viceland.com)