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New York, 1:13 PM
Thu Dec 31
21 posts in the last 24 hours
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Rihanna, Still Nude (And Everyone Swears It's Her)
The Rihanna pictures are seriously showing up everywhere. Still no nudes that have her face in them, but we hear they are absolutely, positively real. There's a grainy photo of Chris Brown, even! (thenewsjunkie.com)Japanese Bitches: This Time They're Human
Godzilla. Mothra. Sadako from "Ringu." The Land of the Rising Sun is famous for its bitches. But until now they've either been radioactive or dead. More »When Pies Go Bad: "Attack Of The CFNM"
Today In Bravery: "I Am Not A MILF"
I can imagine that, when it's the difference between a paycheck and no paycheck, a woman who has not actually borne children will concede to being called a MILF for the purposes of pornic exploitation. But Kara Nox in "Desperate MILFs & Housewives" courageously sets the record straight. "I'm not a MILF," she says. "I'm 31 and have never had children." Would that our leaders were as honest. More »Rocco Siffredi, "Animal Trainer"
With the amount of porn sent to me (for free!) every week, I have come to appreciate any non-standard scene setups. There are only so many times, for example, I can watch Darryl Hanah absently masturbating on a couch as a cock enters from the left of frame before I ... well, watch a hundred more scenes just like it. Thank the Intelligent Designer that Gawker pays me so handsomely! More »Your Day In "Black Sweeties"
Granted, there are those who'd point out that there would never be a porn title called "White Sweeties," and that specifying a performer as a "sweety" might imply that others of that race, gender, nationality, or creed aren't sweeties. But I read this title as a shortening of "Sweeties Who Happen to Be Black," much like I assume "Big-Titted Teens" isn't a slam on my girlfriend, who happens to be a small-chested Samoan 19-year-old, but a sweety nonetheless. More »Jenny Hendrix Demands You "Fuck Me"
According to polls conducted by the Bogue Chitto branch of the Fleshbot Research and Development Group, the most common ejaculation uttered at first sight of Jenny Hendrix is "Fuck Me" (emphasis added). So, though it might be a little on the nose (or somewhere south) to name a movie thusly, at least it is guaranteed popular appeal. More »What's In A (Porn) Name? Meet Pharyn Sparxxx
"Holy shit. Look at you." More »You're A Nation Of Proud Porn Consumers: "Liquid Gold 16"
Kylie Ireland's "Bitch And Moan" Is Not For Whiners
Knowing Kylie Ireland as I do (she once prevented her dog from eating my Wheat Thins), one has confidence that her movie "Bitch And Moan 2" will not be some by the numbers effort featuring lesbians-'til-graduation pouting for the camera in fake alarm. Instead, she gets genuine surprise out of people like Roxy DeVille, Aiden Starr, and Eva Angelina as terrible, wonderful things are perpetrated on their persons. More »"Teen Brazil 3" Softly Whispers "Some Day Soon"
Have you been to Brazil? You really should go. From the favelas on the hill to the gun battles on the street, everyone is ready for a sexy good time. If you book a ticket, bring me along and I will hold Isabella on my lap just in case there's some emergency. More »"Hello, Nurse!" ... Goodbye, Ava Rose
No, the delightful Ava Rose is neither dead, nor ailing, nor leaving the porn industry. But she and studio Adam & Eve, for whom she was a contract performer (along with Bree Olson and Kayden Kross), did decide not to renew their deal just as a spate of Ava Rose movies—including this one and the forthcoming "Rollerdollz"—was hitting the market. But I couldn't let Rose's homage to Jenny Fields go unnoticed in this unfortunate press vacuum. It would violate my "First, Do No Harm" oath. More »No Full Metal Jacket (Or Pants) Required: "Barely Legal Boot Camp"
The striking thing about Hustler's "Barely Legal Boot Camp" is that drill instructor Darryl Hanah looks positively sex-grizzled in comparison with the likes of recruits Kortni Kiss, Jayden Rose, Bailey Brooks, and Arianna Armani, all of whom tumble out of a van to be shrieked at by director/itinerant preacher Rod Fontana. We see a group of 18-year-olds perfectly suited to be stoop-shouldered and eye-rolling in the face of the porn narrative structure that some of them will never perfect. More »Meggan Malone: The Vagina, The Niche, And The (Lack of) Wardrobe
The closest Meggan Malone comes to Lord Aslan in Homegrown Video's "The Chronicals {sic} of Hornia {not-sic}" is mentioning in her pre-flight interview that she just acquired "a baby kitten." And the only Christian allegory that can be found in this video featuring the then-future Vivid contract girl are—well, there are no Christian allegories. What a goddamn gyp. I expect all my porn to somehow relate to the crucifixion. More »"Pour Une Nuit" In Gay (Er, Lesbian) Paree
Ah, Paris! If for no other reason than to begin a review with "Ah, Paris!" did I watch this for lesbians/by lesbians movie, shot in dingy clubs with a spotlight and shot with sweaty abandon in apartments and elevators around the City of Light. Really a series of vignettes featuring some of the same people on one steamy night in Gay Paree, "One Night Stand" ("Pour Une Nuit)" was made in 2006 and just made its way via festivals and US distributor Fatale Media to my hands. Along the way it won "First Prize of the Lesbian Jury" at Berlin's inaugural porn film festival. More »"It Takes Two #6" To Make A Thing All Right
As was demonstrated by panelists at last year's Fleshbot Alpine Institute, 98.4 percent of porn DVD purchases are made on the basis of boxcover photos alone. So what do we learn about "It Takes Two #6"? Well, it is that hot-panted desert hookers still roam the earth, scenting the saguaro with their melon body spray and enticing the panamint chipmunk up their gym socks. More »Pornic Voices: Harmony And Dirty Harry In "Tough Love 14"
Penny Flame Films Self (Because We Need The Extra Hand)
"That's what my boobs look like on camera?" asks the delicious and volatile Penny Flame in the pleasantly disquieting "I Film Myself 7." "Holy crap." For a movie that makes the performer the cameraman and the scene partner the viewer, you'd expect the resulting effect to be more claustrophobic than it is, and the production value (yes, it still matters) to be awful. Yet these scenes makes us feel like we're fighting in some dusty place and our hot girlfriends just sent us a movie. More »Dave Naz' "House of Sex & Domination" (Hold The Fog)
"It's part of the underground dungeon scene!" pipes the plummy voiceover of beloved pornstress Veronica Hart of "L.A.'s House of Sex And Domination," where people like Sasha Grey, Michelle Avanti, Kissy Kapri, Flower Tucci, and Audrey Hollander go to be sexed and, er, dominated. More »Kaylani Lei Increases Her Mileage In Wicked's "Carpool"
"Pinup Perversions": Roxy Jezel Is Lactose Tolerant
Looking like a postwar bride from a country I wish existed, Roxy Jezel has an assimilated tryst with Marco Banderas in the stylish "Pinup Perversions." Is he her husband? We don't know. Is she committing adultery on the kitchen floor of her suburban home of the future? We don't care. When a bouffed-up Aiden Starr comes by later and squirts her with a seltzer bottle, we can only wonder what Doris Kearns Goodwin would have made of this vision of American progress. More »