We're not entirely sure when the photos were shot, but we can say with a large degree of certainty that the interview was done a very, very long time ago (questions about "Pirates" and the AVN Awards? Really?). Not that that matters, really...unless you're one of those people who reads Australian Penthouse for the articles.

· November 2009 Pet of the Month, Stoya (australianpenthouse.com.au)

And, you know, now that she's achieved the coveted Pet of the Month status, it's only a matter of time until she rockets to higher and higher levels of greatness. Hey Ryan: when you're eventually made Queen of Everything, will you remember that we knew you way back when?

· Ryan Keely (ryankeely.com)
· Ryan's Privates (penthouse.com)

Audrey Bitoni
Penthouse 2010 Pin-Up Wall Calendar (amazon.com)
Ava Rose
Penthouse 2010 Pin-Up Wall Calendar (amazon.com)
Brea Bennet
Penthouse 2010 Pin-Up Wall Calendar (amazon.com)
Bree Olson
Penthouse 2010 Pin-Up Wall Calendar (amazon.com)
Hannah Hilton
Penthouse 2010 Pin-Up Wall Calendar (amazon.com)
Krista Ayne
Penthouse 2010 Pin-Up Wall Calendar (amazon.com)

Kyla shot her last fully nude shoot for Australian Penthouse, who currently have her featured as their Pet of the Month. Can't make it to Australia to pick up a copy? Never fear: the shoot is available online as well. So why don't you mosey on over to the Australian Penthouse website, take a good look at Kyla's photos...and relive the memories of all the good (and naked!) times we shared over the years. (It's okay if you shed a tear or two. We won't tell.)

·: September 2009 Pet of the Month: Kyla Cole (australianpenthouse.com.au)

Not surprisingly, most of the women who landed on the list have, at one time or another, posed in some state of undress (that's how we know they're hot!). You'll have to buy Penthouse if you want to actually see their tribute to these WAGs...but we still managed to dig up some pretty sexy photos of the ladies who made the list. Take a gander below—and let us know who you're glad to see on the list (and who was unfairly left off).

1. Vida Guerra (Jeremy Shockey, TE, New Orleans Saint)

2. Carmella DeCesare (Jeff Garcia, QB, Oakland Raiders )

3. Kim Kardashian (Reggie Bush, RB, New Orleans Saint)

4. Brande Roderick (Cade McNown, QB, Chicago Bears)

5. Heather Kozar (Tim Couch, QB, Cleveland Browns)

6. Jennifer Walcott (Adam Archuleta, S, St. Louis Rams)

7. Kendra Wilkinson (Hank Baskett, WR, Philadelphia Eagles)

8. Jessica Simpson (Tony Romo, QB, Dallas Cowboys)

9. Gisele Bundchen (Tom Brady, QB, New England Patriots)

10. Mercedes Lindsay (Jason Campbell, QB, Washington Redskins)

· Penthouse (penthouse.com)
· List via Nudography (nudography.com)

Topco takes us back to a time when pubic hair's purpose was to shade a delightful secret and to provide a marker on the way to home base. Today it's just slide right in.

Laura Doone's Vibrating Cyberskin Hairy Pussy arrived via UPS on a 100-degree day in Los Angeles, and it was still warm when it got here. Holding it in my hands, squeezing it until it made that distinctive Cyberskin thworpthworpthworp, I imagined what it would be like when original "Joy of Sex" line art-looking lovers would routinely burst into flame when their pubes ignited, as I have read in ancient tomes.

"Was it actually molded from Laura Doone?" I asked a Topco representative, unable to find anything about the current whereabouts of the Cyberskin creation's namesake.

"No, it was inspired by Laura," I was told. "There was no way to actually mold her."

If Ms. Doone was 18 years old at the time of her centerfold by Bob Guccione, she would be 53 now. Unfortunately, only by having a shaved pussy could her age be verified.

I asked the Topco representative where the hair came from.

"Was it from angels?" I said.

"It's the same material you'd find in high-end wigs," he said.

So angels?

Anyway, I looked into my drawer full of Cyberskin vibrating pussies and found that this one was similar to several other shaved ones, except with hair. It's like they used a Joanna Angel chassis and put hair on it.

But that's OK, because to use Laura Doone's Vibrating Cyberskin Pussy is to actually fuck time, and that's got to be worth something.

· Topco (topcosales.us)
· Buy Laura Doone's 1974 Hairy Vibrating Cyberskin Pussy (sextoysexfurniture.com)

Which explains why she looks so comfortable appearing here in Penthouse Germany—she's just a natural born porn ambassador, one who doesn't shy away from foreign countries and their foreign languages and foreign customs, one who goes where her porn is needed. (Well, that or it's just a repurposed Penthouse USA shoot, but we like our story better.)

· Erica Ellyson Naked - Penthouse Germany 04/09 (dailypoa.com)

The classic porn company VCX has released a trunkful of Golden Age titles, including "The Second Coming of Eva," a delightful 1975 romp in which redhead Eva (Swedish Penthouse Pet Brigitte Maier) sheds whatever thin pretense of innocence she once had at a randy sham boarding school where the sideburns are as long as the pubes.

Meanwhile, at the dawn of the next century, the not-so-innocent (after all, she's a mom now) Eva Angelina stars in a series of vignettes directed by Jonni Darkko in which the thick, bespectacled, and xup-besotted Latina takes all comers in whatever entrance is currently available.

Of course, nothing connects these two movies other than the name and the fact they arrived at Fleshbot West in the same month, but it is interesting to see the tradeoffs porn has made through the years.

I, for example, would have liked to have seen much more of Brigitte Maier, but I was genuinely charmed by the sense of fun in "Second Coming."

And as for Eva Angelina, well, she's so winning in person that I think a movie would sell even if she kept her clothes on a moment longer. Sure today's Eva can deliver in one minute what it took the old "Eva" a popshot-free movie to get around to, so I guess what disappeared in the past three decades is the free time to wait for it.

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy "Second Coming of Eva" (tlavideo.com)
· Buy "E for Eva" (tlavideo.com)

And the effect is especially pronounced, so to speak, when it is a girl like Yana Yordan – you should pardon me, Jana Jordan – today's Birthday Girl (she is turning 23). I have the same problem with Yessica Yewel, Yanet Yacme, Yayden Yaymes and any number of others, all the way up to Yynx.

It is so strong a compulsion that sometimes I worry that I might meet Yesse Yane or, heaven forbid, Yenna Yameson at a convention and I will say hello to her and she will think I am from Sweden.

Anyway. grattis på födelsedagen, Jana Jordan. That means happy birthday in Swedish. I provide a translation because I know that you are actually from Texas.

Bio data courtesy of the Internet Adult Film Database

· Internet Adult Film Database (www.iafd.com)
· Jana Jordan at IAFD.com (iafd.com)
· Buy Jana Jordan's movies (gamelink.com)