#babes

Hooters On Parade At The 2009 Hooters Swimsuit Pageant

The Hooters formula is a tried and true success (who can say no to scantily clad women and fatty foods?)—but to be honest, we've always found the Hooters uniform to be a little, well, lacking. More »

#sarahpalin

And if one scantily clad Sarah Palin lookalike isn't enough for you, here's your chance to meet many, many more: Las Vegas's Club Paradise is holding an "official" Sarah Palin lookalike pageant next week. And by "official" we mean not official or endorsed by Sarah Palin in any way. (vegasblog.latimes.com)

#scandal

Shocking Miss Universe Naked Porn Scandal!

The world of international beauty contests has been rocked by a stunning revelation about the past of current Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza. It turns out that before she began her career as a beauty contestant, she used to be ... a model! And as you all know, being a model sometimes requires you to pose without clothes on, even if all your private parts are tastefully covered up in the end product. Delicate sensibilities have naturally been offended (allegedly), but in the most shocking twist of all, the Miss Universe organization could not care less—Dayana will not lose her title the way she lost her clothes. Once again, the universe is saved! More »

#pageants

Just a reminder that the Miss Universe Pageant is coming up this weekend, so you still have a chance to do some research on your favorite country (and its representative babe) before placing your bets. We've got a good feeling about Miss Norway, but we tend to have good feelings about any attractive woman in a swimsuit and high heels. Besides, there are so many nations and so little time ... (missuniverse.com - thanks AJ)

#babes

How many times do we have to say it? A model may be naked under a towel, or a sheet, or her hands or even two strategically placed coconuts—but if we can't see what's under there then don't try to say that she's "topless". We thought we had another juicy Miss Great Britain scandal on our hands, but Gemma Garrett is not as naked as we were led to believe. Even if she does look pretty good regardless, you really shouldn't toy with our emotions like that. (toxicmagazine.com)

#youarethere

Boing Boing visits artiste and provocateuse Natalia Fabia's first annual Miss Hooker Beauty Pageant and sees lots of pasties and burlesque-style wackiness, if little by way of actual hookers. We won't spoil the suspense and tell you who walked away with the crown, but we will just say that we were expecting a lot more from Miss Squirt's act in the talent competition. (Then again, we guess it wasn't that kind of a pageant.) (video @ tv.boingboing.net)

#babes

Former Miss Belgium Drops Her Sash For Playboy

We're still all aglow over Miss Michigan's crownworthy performance in the Miss America pageant last weekend, but we're also starting to get little distracted by former Miss Belgium Ann Van Elsen, who took the whole parading-around-half-naked-in-front-of-a-live-audience thing to its logical conclusion by appearing in this month's issue of Playboy in her native country. (She's also the second former Miss Belgium-turned-nude model that we've heard about over the past few months — does that count as a trend?) Apparently, she decided to pose nude on the condition that Playboy donate a sum of money to a radio station-sponsored charity in Brussels, meaning that we can all feel a little bit more noble about ogling her naked charms. After all, isn't that whole public service thing what being a beauty pageant queen is all about? More »

#pageants

Miss America Pageant Becomes "A Date With Miss Michigan"

You'll have to forgive us for feeling a little bit of regional pride this morning as we congratulate our home state entry in the Miss America pageant, 19-year-old Kirsten Haglund, who took home the crown in a Vegas-style TV spectacle over the weekend. The pageant itself has become more of a reality show than a beauty contest, but the Farmington Hills, Michigan, native did sashay her way to first place in the swimsuit competition as well as taking the whole shebang. Plus, it give us a golden opportunity to break out our favorite masturbatory euphemism ever. Maybe you'll get to be with "her" tonight! More »

#pageants

The Miss America beauty pageant—otherwise known as the most tasteful bikini contest in the world—is apparently going on right now and you can check out the front runners. Of course, without the sashes how will we know which rival state to root against? (drunkenstepfather.com)

#pageants

Ingrid Marie Rivera survived a pepper spray attack—it was coated on her dress by rival contestants—and still managed to claim the Miss Puerto Rico crown. The solution to these kinds of clothing-related assaults? All beauty pageants should be performed in the nude. (abcnews.go.com)

#bikini

Since it's Friday, you should take off early for lunch, find your local Hooters and never go back to the office. Ever. These Hooters Girl bikini pageant photos will prove that this plan is sound. (hollywoodtuna.com)

#beautyqueensgonewild

The Secrets Of Miss Universe

It's not every day you get to see the universe without her clothes on, unless you have a subscription to Playboy Mexico in which case you can peruse your back issues to see Miss Universe herself—1996's winner Alicia Machado—in all her glory. It seems the former beauty queen (who was actually Miss Venezuela) has had a quite a time for herself below our borders and below our radar since giving up the crown over 10 years ago. More »

#mistakenidentities

Yes, the girl in this semi-amateur porno looks a little like Miss Russia 2006 Tatiana Kotova, but since we don't speak Russian (or Spanish, oddly enough) it will take a lot more to convince us. We wouldn't put anything past a pageant contestant though. (xxxmofo.com + rian.ru)

#shocking

Miss New Jersey will keep her crown since her blackmail ordeal is the most boring beauty pageant scandal ever. As if we all didn't have a photo someone biting our tit floating around out there somewhere? (msnbc.msn.com)

#hotblackmailaction

So what exactly was Miss New Jersey doing in those Facebook photos to make someone think they could blackmail her into giving up the crown? Are we talking underage wine coolers or Vanessa Williams-level lesbianism? We need answers! (nypost.com, via Gawker)

#pageants