#video

September Appreciation Month: It's Never Too Late To Celebrate!

We have a confession to make—we blew it this month. We had meant to make our monthly holiday appreciation posts a first day kind of thing, but something about the holiday of Labor got into our heads and we guess we took that day off. Actually, there's no excuse for this bout of lazy/forgetfulness—but thankfully, September is "Be Kind To Editors and Writers Month," so you can't complain. In the spirit of forgiveness and remembrance, however, we decided to honor all those days you missed out on over the past four weeks (while you still have a few hours left to enjoy them) and give you something to look forward to next year. As for October ... well shoot, that's tomorrow! Looks like we've got some work to do ... More »

#school

Sure, most high school teachers like to kick back during quiet study time and watch a little bondage porn on their classroom computer. Most of them are just smart enough to unhook the video projector before they do. At least someone is learning a lesson. (newsnet5.com)

#oops

Japanese police launched a full-scale murder investigation after the gruesome discovery of body bound, gagged and wrapped in plastic ... that was actually just a life-size sex doll. Man, those CSI guys are good! (guardian.co.uk)

#politics

Cindy McCain Gone Wild?

John McCain told a crowd of tattooed bikers at the Sturgis motorcycle rally that his wife, Cindy, would make an excellent candidate for the local beauty pageant, Miss Buffalo Chip. What does he think her strongest event would be? The wet t-shirt contest or the pickle licking demonstration? If only we could pick all our First Ladies this way. (Click thumbnail for video.) More »

#crotchwatch

Sure, the Japanese may come up with all sorts of new crotch-related fetishes ... but when it comes to the simple delights of a good old fashioned see-through pantyhose crotch flash, the Americans still do it best. (And yes, we know that Victoria Silvstedt is technically Swedish. Still!) (taxidrivermovie.com)

#govlove

Lots of guys like to joke with their fishing buddies about how their wife won't have sex with them, but when you're the Governor of Minnesota and your "buddies" are everyone listening to a live radio broadcast, that makes things a little awkward. Not as awkward as how some governors handle it, but still not smooth. (foxnews.com)

#calendars

Everyone has jumped on the nude charity calendar wave—just like those ladies in that adorable movie—and it's a totally great idea that can't lose ... until you get stuck with a $16,000 printing bill and 5,000 unsold copies. Thanks a lot, Helen Mirren! (smh.com.au)

#cuckoldry

Worst way to learn that you've been cuckolded: finding a used condom in your wife's hooha. (For the doubters: yes, it can happen). (observer.org.sz + onedatatime.typepad.com)

#oops

You should be careful about watching porn at work because you never know if someone else can see it, particularly if you work at a TV station and that "someone else" is the entire population of French Polynesia. Although they probably appreciated this break in the usual programming. (nzherald.co.nz)

#oops

You may remember the New York Times writing a little story about three modern women who earn their living having sex for money, which was a very timely and compelling look at the current state of prostitution in this country, except ... two of those three women don't actually have sex for money. We guess the reporter didn't realize that "sex work" doesn't just mean hookers, but at least they made an effort! Sort of. (Gawker)

#news

We suppose it was too much to hope that this "nude dancing protest" was not a protest against nude dancing, but actually protesters dancing in the nude. We just can't catch a break. (milforddailynews.com)

#video

Jane Fonda Sends "Today Show" Viewers A Big Cunt For V-Day

Despite the fact that we found out this morning where we part company with playwright Eve Ensler (she says she wrote "The Vagina Monologues" as a means of "getting vagina out of my mouth", where we on the other hand ... uh, never mind), we have to give her props for occasioning the first uncensored use of the word "cunt" on live American network morning television. And by Jane Fonda, no less! The timing, of course, couldn't be more appropriate: it may have been a carefully planned part of a publicity campaign for the upcoming tenth anniversary megaproduction of "The Vagina Monologues" in New Orleans this April, but from now on every time we hear the word "V-Day" we won't exactly be thinking about hearts and flowers. More »

#japan

Yes, occasionally it becomes necessary to clear out an overgown porn collection, but dumping 1,000 hardcore DVDs in an empty lot is not the best way to dispose of the evidence. Hasn't this guy ever heard of eBay? (mdn.mainichi.jp)

#funny

We're a little confused by this furniture ad from UK superstore Marks and Spencer. We see the "modern curves" and "soft-look styling", but where are the durable hardwood feet? However, we think that once we get this baby in our living room, we'll still be pretty happy. (theregister.co.uk)

#news

The District of Columbia seems to have a bit of a porn problem, since nine city employees have been fired and 32 others suspended for surfing the naughty nets during work hours. Then again, if it's that easy to look at porn while you're at work, we don't see what the problem is. (pcworld.com + washingtoncitypaper.com)

#publicsex

Attention all travelers: Be extra careful if you hook up with someone you met on the interweb for sex and decide to do it on a railway station platform, because you might get caught by a transport police inspector... even if you happen to be a transport police inspector yourself. Isn't this an example of "irony" or something? (news.sky.com/)

#books

Returning your books to the library in a timely manner displays a basic level of responsibility and community spirit, especially when you remove all the boring pages and replace them with pot and porn. Who says reading isn't fundamental anymore? (local12.com)

#milfwatch

Wow! Only $9 each way? Spirit Airlines is about to have a lot of very happy customers ... or very disappointed ones. (spiritair.com)

#video

Aside from its more obvious purpose, we like to think that a pole dancing lesson can be an opportunity for two women to learn about trust and deepen the bonds of their friendship. Or, like, not. More »

#blogs

A recently departed colleague of ours is so in tune with the New York media scene that newsy watchdog Fishbowl NY has seen fit to keep his old blog in their links section nearly two years since he stopped updating it. Or maybe it's because the URL now belongs to a porn site? Some people have said the whole industry is just one big circle jerk, so perhaps it does make perfect sense. (mediabistro.com - thanks Laura!)

#cleavage

J.K. Rowling inadvertently reveals her Chamber of Secrets to a gaggle of press folk and children while on her book tour, magically transporting millions of Harry Potter fans to the wondrous and mystical world of "Puberty." (thesun.co.uk, via Gawker)

#oops

An airline executive "accidentally" deleted some important evidence related to a company lawsuit while he was cleaning the porn off his computer. Don't panic ... all the smut was backed up. (azcentral.com)

#ontheroad

A carnival worker helpfully explained to police that it wasn't alcohol or carelessness that led him to crash his truck into a telephone pole ... it was the people having sex in the back seat who made the car all "tippy." By the way, this guy called from his bus and said you're a pussy. (abcnews.go.com)

#badeducation

Smut invades our nation's schools once again as some fifth graders in Maryland accidentally got an eyeful of porn when they were supposed to be watching "Star Wars" instead. In other news, Maryland fifth graders have the easiest classes ever. (foxnews.com)

#consumeralert

Condom recalls—they're not just for South Africans anymore! Tens of thousands of free condoms have been returned to the DC Department of Health after concerns arose about their easily ripped paper wrapper and illegible expiration dates. And here you were thinking things like comfortable reservoir tips and ribs for her pleasure were all that mattered. (washingtonpost.com)

#oops

Where's the best place to find porn (and spyware) these days? Try unsecured government web servers. If you run across any unprotected nuclear secrets while you're there, just try to ignore those. (washingtonpost.com)

#nipplewatch

Rihanna proves once again that if even the tiniest bit of your nipple/areola is exposed in public, someone's going to get a picture of it. You can't win, so why fight it? (egotastic.com)

#censorship

The Australian government cancels the test of its new internet content filtering system, since none of the country's big ISPs will go along will their silly plan. Keep trying, mates—some day you'll be able to ban all the dirty websites your hearts desire. (news.com.au)

#celebrityskin

The Oops Bank: Dangerous For Celebrities, Safe For You

We're amused by the welcome text on this video sharing site that calls it a "safe zone" for collectors of celebrity and fashion model skin sightings in movies, TV programs, and fashion shows: presumably this means that the site itself and its files are free from the viruses and other digital unpleasantness that plague this type of material elsewhere on the interweb. (Try searching for "Britney Spears nude video" on your typical P2P network to see what we mean.) It isn't, however, safe for celebrities, what with all those split-second boob flashes and embarassing wardrobe malfunction moments archived for posterity for all the world to see ... over and over again, even. While it doesn't cost anything to browse a decent selection of free clips, those who contribute their own finds will get access to a wider range of material—which is only fair. (Unless you're a celebrity, of course. What's that they say about not being able to please all people all of the time anyway?) More »

#wetspots