Coincidence? Probably. But isn’t it nice to imagine that Marquetta, who turns 23 today, is so awesome that her departure sparked the decline of an entire city?

Marquetta should come live in our town, and we will start tracking the quality of living here. It’s pure science.

Bio data courtesy of the Internet Adult Film Database

· Internet Adult Film Database (www.iafd.com)
· Marquetta Jewel at IAFD.com (iafd.com)
· Buy Marquetta Jewel’s movies (gamelink.com)

· Flamingo Showclub (flamingoshowclub.com)

· Gisele Bundchen thinks it's ridiculous that the Catholic Church bans sex before marriage. "Show me someone who's a virgin," she says. Why? What will you do to him if we do? (newswatch50.com)

· Now that Paris Hilton is out of jail, let us look at this photoset starring lookalike Christine Alexis and reflect upon what might have been if her stupid skin condition and/or possible nervous breakdown hadn't gotten in the way. (orgasmatrix.com + Defamer)

· As the person who pointed this out to us said, once you see that the London 2012 Olympic logo looks like Lisa Simpson giving head, you can't un-see it. (YouTube)

· News flash: The number of people willing to pay for content on the internet is dwindling. When was it ever rising? (xbiz.com)

· Step 1: Make some "x-rated" art. Step 2: Have it banned by the city for being "inappropriate." Step 3: Profit. (nypress.com)

· Canada is one of the best place to go for nude beaches, but their summer will be over in about two weeks, so make it snappy. (hfxnews.ca)

· Ohio strip clubs continue to fight the state's new "six-foot" law. Why don't they just find strippers with longer arms? (wlwt.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· It seems that the plucky Barbie Cummings was not the first lady that a certain Tennessee state trooper has given "special treatment." (Not that Barbie is complaining.) We guess free blowjobs aren't an official perk of the job. (usatoday.com + newschannel5.com)

· You remember Tea Leoni, right? If not, these bikini pictures probably won't jog your memory, but you should check anyway just to be safe. (theblemish.com)

· Did you know Kelly Hu was once an X-Man? Or X-Woman? Or X-Person? Whatever ... now she's just X-Hot. (dailypoa.com)

· August political rag The New Republic may be struggling to find readers, but more stories about Porno Jim and cum blankets should certainly turn things around. (Gawker)

· How will Ohio's strippers cope when the new adult entertainment law goes into effect this summer? If only there were some sort of "club" where they go to unwind and have some fun ... (ohiou.edu)

· Popular music is apparently dominated by "sexy and edgy" lyrics, which we would know nothing about since we smashed our victrolas in protest when that "Elvis Preseley" character started shaking his hips so scandalously. (reuters.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Don't you hate it when you go to a baseball game and a wet t-shirt contest breaks out? No wonder Dodgers tickets are so popular in L.A. (lioninoil.blogspot.com, via Deadspin)

· Ron Jeremy and Jake Gyllenhaal together at last! OK, so that's completely misleading, but don't you want to see what the Hedgehog looks like when he's asleep? (Defamer)

· When noted sexpert Susie Bright compiles a list of her desert island sex toys, you better pay attention. Let's just hope she remembers to pack a heavy-duty electrical generator too. (susiebright.blogs.com + amazon.com, via Eros Blog)

· Raise your hand if you're surprised that Apple is upset over a sex toy ad that mimics one of theirs. Congratulations, you win a solid-gold iPod! (avn.com)

· An adult website surveys its own customers and finds that, shockingly, they're totally cool with porn. We've haven't seen a vote rigged this badly since the last time Ohio voted for president. (xbiz.com)

· Speaking of Ohio, the governor says the state's new strip club bill is a complete waste of time and he won't sign it. It still becomes a law, of course, but doesn't he sound all principled and leader-like? (columbusdispatch.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Ohio's new "six-foot" rule could claim some unlikely victims: NBA cheerleaders. This will not stand! (Deadspin)

· A 70-foot-long hot air balloon that looks like a naked man is floating over Milan ... and no one seems to care? Do you think Italy would trade some of its citizens for ours? (timesonline.co.uk)

· Two-thirds of women fantasize about having group sex, 20% dabble in lesbianism, and 25% have thought about being in a porn film, which oddly enough, might be a lower percentage than the number of women who have actually been in a porn film. (thesun.co.uk)

· Letters to the Editor of the Day: "Most parents are clueless about online porn." And pretty much everything else that happens to people under 21 these days. (lincolnnewsmessenger.com)

· The porn industry unveils the first Blu-ray adult feature, not counting the other Blu-ray adult features that have already come out. (tech.co.uk)

· Could someone be making gay porn in the house right next door to you? Probably not, but wouldn't your neighborhood be much more exciting if they were? (nbc6.net)

· Thumbnail via nba.com

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Agustina Dazza is from Argentina. We think you know where this is going. (latenightpictures.com)

· Sex workers in India get into the whole May Day spirit, and take on the capitalist swine that treat them like chattel. See, all Marxist aren't so bad. (news.com.au)

· Strippers in Ohio are also fighting for their rights in the face of a harsh new strip club law. Why didn't our founding fathers have the foresight to include lapdances in the Constitution? (daytondailynews.com)

· These Coachella concert goers aren't really in the middle of a sweaty orgy, but if you squint real hard you sort of imagine they are. (Flickr)

· Frustrated ladies might want to try this new diet that is said to boost your sex drive. Unfortunately, this diet does not appear to be Chicken McNugget based. (andhracafe.com)

· New York City passes a new ordinance increasing the fines for pirating DVDs, most of which happen to be porn. We guess we won't be doing our Christmas shopping at the 6th Avenue subway station this year. (xbiz.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Julieta Prandi is more proof that whatever Argentina is putting in its water to create a race of models with super-powered asses, it's working. (latenightpictures.com)

· Why aren't Americans as cool as Europeans when it comes to the nudity? Put your pants back on and we'll talk about it. (alternet.org)

· Does doing the single leg squat while exercising really give women orgasms? It probably depends who is underneath them when they do it. (random-good-stuff.com)

· Durex condoms thinks America isn't having enough sex. Maybe America thinks the sensation just isn't strong enough. (prnewswire.com)

· A new law in Ohio would set a curfew for adult bookstores, forcing them to close at midnight. But then where are you supposed to spend your money after getting thrown out of the bars? (xbiz.com)

· The woman responsible for marketing The Cone made it to the top of the IT world the old fashioned way: she slept with the boss. That sounds like a pretty good marketing strategy to us. (theinquirer.net)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Move over James Thurber! Now Columbus, Ohio can boast of itself as the place where, this May 17, Internet babe Erin Daye fucked 1001 men, the last 50 of whom got to do the deed bareback. Might one of them be you?

Gangbang numbers are always inflated. The famous "Houston 500" featured less than half that. But still: you get to go to Columbus.

Members of Daye's site got the first invitation ("I really do fuck my fans," the Lake Tahoe resident said), but now the offer is open to anyone willing to get himself tested and travel to Club Princeton, Columbus' venerable swingers' establishment.

What would Chrissie Hynde, the Waitresses, Neil Young, or Gary Sandy think of this bold new Ohio, awash to the banks of the mighty Scioto and Olentangy Rivers in porn fan semen? What would they think if it was yours?- GP

· Erin Daye (erindaye.blogspot.com)
· Erin Daye official site (erindaye.com)