Usually when we go to the emergency room in the middle of the night for some free morphine and experimental surgery, the registered nurse on duty is about the farthest thing on our minds from sexy. We've actually had some experience here. Trust us, our last nurse was named Frank and, competent as he was, he did not inspire lusty fantasies about probing.

Shyla Stylez on the other hand, well, does. Dress her up in the requisite nursing outfit and bend her over and she looks like a blow up doll (in a good way). Considering she's taking a Prince deep up into the velvety folds of her plush hot wetness, the abstract series of expressions she twists her face into begin to make more sense. Perhaps she's speaking in a forgotten nurse code, saying, "Hey, I'm getting the fucking of my life from this guy."

Shyla is joined by the hottest chick in all of porn from 2008, Miss Jayden James, as well as Kristina Rose, Aletta Ocean, and Tara Lynn.

Kevin Moore is one of the most talented, and overlooked, gonzo directors in the business today. Kudos to Smash for another great movie, and to Moore for helming it.

"Registered Nurses 2" is out now. Check out these exclusive snaps!

· Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)

Anacondas And Lil' Mamas 4: The Naughty Nurse Edition

Studio: Depth Entertainment Family
Director: Johnny Depth
Cast: Austin Taylor, Andi Anderson, Melrose Foxxx, Renee Kisses, Jada Stevens, Ace, John E. Depth

Review by: Gram Ponante

I didn't really know what I was facing, exactly. Were the Lil' Mamas to be spinners or actual moms? Was a Lil' Mama here a woman who, like many women, was physically smaller than men? And how did the nurses get into it? Were they little? Moms? Women?

Turns out the Lil' Mamas were neither moms nor necessarily small, and they all had some connection to the healthcare field.

Austin Taylor, for example, was a veterinarian's assistant who was lured to John E. Depth's house after hours ostensibly to heal his "pet." It was an anaconda.

Attempting to pick up LPN Melrose Foxx outside her clinic, Depth is at first brushed off. But she calls him an hour later, saying that her man has a small penis. Depth wants to come over, but Foxxx plays him again, saying she doesn't know him that way. Finally they get together.

"Let the snake spit," Depth says. Snake? It was an anaconda.

Next comes cute as hell nursing student Renee Kisses, duped by Depth to provide services for his friend, Ace, who has no health insurance. What kind of services? Anaconda services.

"That's good shit right here," observes Ace. Not up to par with "Let the snake spit," but he does what he can.

Scene four appears to be the first one in the movie where the gang could spring for an actual hoispital room set. Depth, who hurt his leg playing basketball, comes onto his nurse, the tiny, yellow-haired Jada Stevens.

"I think you took my pain away," says Depth, after letting the anaconda spit.

Finally, home health aide Andi Anderson stops by to comfort Depth, who is here seen rocking back and forth like he's in Anaconda Interrupted. What can I tell you? He fucks her.

This is a fun movie with just enough setup to satisfy its title and just enough silliness to make what could have been a run of the mill movie something that could be remembered at this writing, a full 45 minutes later.

Whatever you do, don't forget to let the snake spit.

· Depth Entertainment (johnedepthxxx.com)
· Buy "Anascondas And Lil' Mamas 4" (gamelink.com)

We're not sure quite what you'd call it, but it certainly seems to be doing something. Anyone know where Ava received her medical training? Cause we might have to start getting treated by one of her classmates—it looks like they have the exact cure for, uh, whatever it is that's ailing us these days.

· Buy "Hello Nurse" (gamelink.com)

Whores D'oeuvre

Studio: Daring
Director: Christoph Clark
Cast: Zafira, Trisha Brill, Regina Ice, Halana, Dorina Golden, Samantha, Brandy, Crystal Crown, Sera Passion, Viviene, Indira, Anita Pearl, Angelicka Black, Britney, Jennifer Love, Valentina Blue,

Review by: Gram Ponante

It is hard not to love this movie. People who might normally be turned off by aggressive European porn and its disaffected performers need not worry about director Christoph Clark's ability to connect; each setup is whimsical and weird and he fills each scene with bits of business that are mostly absent from American porn movies.

A woman teaching a blowjob class passes dildos around the room, a bondage slave has her leather hood splooged upon, nurses gangbang other nurses in a HMO-erotic hookup, and lovers choose to screw in a limo when there is a perfectly good bed in the same room.

Clark delivers gonzo scenes with just a whiff of plot, suddenly making women who would otherwise seem inaccessible to New World audiences much more present, especially with an intriguing, not distracting, circling camera style.

It would be fun to see Belladonna or Bree Olson walk into one of these scenes; the culture clash would be very sexy. But Clark really succeeds in making euro porn fun.

· Daring (daringsex.com)
· Buy "Whores D'oeuvre" (gamelink.com)

(Oh, and the best part? In this battle, everybody takes off their clothes.)

· Jesse Jane (jessejane.com)
· Edited by Mike Byhoff

Say they thought it would be the finest way to create a commentary on our disposable, excremental culture. They might have come up with something like this. Maybe. If they were all locked in different rooms and told to write 5 pages, and then Al Goldstein compiled those pages into a semi-coherent script, removing all the big words he didn't understand along the way.

Abysmal acting irreconcilably collides with campy hijinks in the 2nd installment of Wicked Pictures' "Kung Fu Nurses A Go-Go," directed by Mark Stone with, honestly, less than stellar results. It's like the whole movie is one bad inside joke that the rest of us aren't in on. Karate fighting nurses battle over immobile patients before a sexy strip off against a rival school of semi-articulate tramps, inadvertently making reality television look infinitely more watchable. Seriously, if you were trying to make a movie look porno, it wouldn't look like this porno. Take note, Kevin Smith, in case you need a sequel to "Zack & Miri."

The only thing that redeems the title is the cast, which includes sexy young thing Aiden Starr (who no longer returns our calls now that she's famous), along with Nikki Rhodes, Marie Luv, Bridgette B., Crissy Moon, Marlee Moore, Sindee Jennings, and Mya Luanna. Watching them attempt to act is like chewing tinfoil with fresh fillings, but the minute they get their clothes off it readily becomes apparent why we adore them so. We can (and have) watched Aiden fuck all day long... delicious.

So it's not brilliant—but it is brilliantly bad, and that's something, right? Maybe John Cougar Mellencamp was onto something there all along (despite the feathered hair). Check the trailer below along with our exclusive set.

· "Kung Fu Nurses A Go-Go 2" (wickedpictures.com)

. . .

· Gauge miraculous hardcore recovery (full video @ pornhub.com)

In "Medical Pain Sluts 2," the petite dominatrix Natali Demore clearly has something to prove, else she would treat pain rather than inflict more of it.

Admittedly I was compelled as if by the power of Christ to write something - anything - about anyone calling herself Mina Meow. After all, I thought, could she be the new Strokahontas? But I was drawn into the drama of the scene, which lasted all of ten minutes and which didn't resolve so much as left Ms. Meow curled in a supine fetal position with tubes in her ass.

I suppose it took her mind off the headaches...

· Bondage Orgasms (bondageorgasms.com)
· Buy "Medical Pain Sluts 2" (cduniverse.com)

. . .

· "Lesbian Nurses" (RedTube)

Hot blond nurses ready for a threesome (redtube.com)

Lazi - Baby Doll Nurses 2 (pornhub.com)

Randy Wright - Nurse Cherokee (pornhub.com)

Sexy Nurse In Lingerie (redtube.com)

Fuck That Nurse! (pornhub.com)

Jenaveve Jolie - Naughty Nurse Girl (pornhub.com)

Nurseholes (pornhub.com)

Sexy Nurse with Two Patients (megarotic.com)

Uncensored Japanese Nurse Therapy Sex (megarotic.com)

Busty Nurse Banged On A Car (megarotic.com)

. . .

· Mika Tan - Nurseholes #2 - Scene 2 (pornhub.com)

Nurses Sandra and Alicyn start by sucking and playing with one and other's plump breasts, before going south for some pink stink fun. The Dr. can't resist and pulls out his main tool for polishing.

We here at Fleshbot hope to be your main tool for years to come.

· Watch "Nurse Nancy" (videobox.com)

***

Medical Pain Sluts

Studio: Bondage Orgasms (.com)
Director: Natali Demore
Cast: Natali Demore, Ashley Renee, Eden Wells, Harmony Rose, Natalie Minx, Katja Kassin

Review by: - GP

The first vignette sets the scene. "Institutional Fraud" features Katja Kassin and Demore discussing how they defrauded both the penal and psychiatric industries by faking insanity to avoid jailtime. Luckily, they are thwarted by USA PATRIOT Act technology, as their conversation is monitored by Harmony, who looks positively Amazonian compared to the two barefoot scofflaws in her BDSM heels.

Harmony imposes a number of punishments on her wards, including the novel approach of smacking Katja every time Natali does something bad.

"Legs Open; This is for your own good" announces Demore in the next scene, "Multiple Personality Disorder", in which she is the nurse charged with helping Ashley Renee decide if she likes girls or boys.

The scenarios are darkly humorous, and sexy. Girl-on-Girl cruelty has more of a ring of truth about it because it seems like Friday night at the Saddle Ranch.

Diminutive director/star Demore told me that she "discovered" liking to bind, gag, and torture people, and that she was good at it. The femdom model is still not the first picture that comes to mind when people think of dominatrices, however.

"I think we have the element of surprise," she said.

Demore appears on top and on bottom in the final two scenes, first forcibly extracting information from Natalie Minx and then, in "Hypersexuality Aversion Treatment", finding herself on the business end of clamps and clothespins.

This video is furnished with the essentials: a room, a mattress, some mood lighting, and a nurse costume. It also features some fun gadgets, electrodes, and whirring things. That it is made by women who play with the archetype of the naughty nurse, improvising funny lines while putting their victims through the paces of rigorous punishment and training scenes, makes for viewing that is less bleak than hardcore BDSM fare that's all leather and dungeons.

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy "Medical Pain Sluts" (jadedvideo.com)

Previously: Reviews Archive

· Kelly Brook honors Memorial Day by remembering to shoot photos for her new bikini calendar. Like your barbeque was so special? (toxicmagazine.com + hollywoodtuna.com)

· These Linux boobies have inspired us to try out our new pickup line at the next IT conference: "So are you open source or are you just happy to see me?" Ok, it might need some work. (fakesteve.blogspot.com, via computerworld.co.nz)

· According to a new study, 44% of nurses say their sex lives are negatively affected by the stress of their jobs. Fortunately, the rest will be appearing in "Sponge Bath Sluts 37" later this year. (bbc.co.uk)

· Kotaku tracks down the "accidental nudity" that's holding up the Windows Vista Halo 2 release. It sounded better in theory than it actually is in real life. (Kotaku)

· Maybe if Delta Air Lines had always broadcast HBO shows—complete with nudity—as the in-flight entertainment, then they might never have gone bankrupt. (azcentral.com)

· In case you weren't already aware, cyberporn is ruining your life. Sorry we had to do this to you. (brisbanetimes.com.au)

· How can you tell if Hong Kong has changed after ten years of Chinese rule? A nude photo contest of course! That's the answer to everything. (gulf-daily-news.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Because I am high on drugs, I cannot currently think of a more ironic word—i.e., a word that could not possibly be more opposite to its intention—than swank. It is like including the word "classy" in the title of a strip club. So if I see the words "swank", "classy", or "upscale" anywhere near something that suggests boobies, I'm there. The fact that the words "Sex Hospital" follow "Swank" is almost too wonderful to process.

Is it as classy as "Cum Drink My Vintage Wine"? You bet!!!

With all that metadata going on, then, I demand to be forgiven for not watching the movie. - GP

· Swank Digital (swankdigital.com)
· Buy Swank's "Sex Hospital" (gamelink.com)

Previously: Porn Of The Moment Archive

All the usual online video sharing outlets seem to be a bit temperamental this week, but hopefully that won't prevent you from viewing this latest entry in our ever-expanding Flesh Flicks catalog. If only web servers and IT backbones could be cured as easily as the "patient" in this clip. Of course, we always seem to get stuck with the grumpy nurse with cold hands and no sense of humor so this particular treatment has never been offered to us during our yearly physical—and it's not like our blogger HMO would cover it anyway. We guess there's a reason why the slutty Asian nurse fantasy will sadly forever remain a fantasy.

- - -

· Patient Fucks His Hot Nurse (PornoTube)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

There are two kinds of medical fetish sites: the kind shot in scary-looking operating rooms with even scarier-looking surgical steel implements, and the frankly fake kind which lean more towards hot nurses in cleavage-enhancing uniforms than stents and syringes. If the sight of sutures makes you squeamish, you'll have a much more pleasant fantasy experience at Doctor Adventures, which bills itself as "the first female doctor site on the net" even if we're pretty sure bustological pornstresses like Eva Angelina, Nikki Benz, and Puma Swede wouldn't know a triple bypass from a colonoscopy if it bit them on their well-cushioned asses. Since our favorite part of our annual checkup is getting that lollipop afterwards, these low-intensity procedures are just what the doctor ordered. (Sorry, but when you're talking about a porn site that's all about clichés, it's kind of hard to avoid using them.)

· Doctor Adventures (paysite previews @ doctoradventures.com, via Cayos)
· Thimbnail: Eva Angelina waiting for you to open up and say "Hmm, I wonder if my HMO will cover $24.95 a month for your services?"

Previously: Fleshbot Crush Object™ Watch: Kitty Toxin, Gips Dreams, O.R.R. Belgium: Medical Fetish Video, Flesh Flicks: Amateur Nursing School, Sexy Restaurant "Nurses", Romain Slocombe: Japan Medical Fetish, Sexy Wheelchair Girls, Hello, Nurse!

· Finally! Scott Baio is shopping a book that shares the details of his legendary Hollywood conquests. Although we suppose we could do without the "Liza Minelli wanted my Chachi sperm" chapter. (radaronline.com; more @ Defamer)

· Get the lowdown on Second Life's BDSM community. What do you use for a safe word when you're being dominated by a pixel? Ctrl-Alt-Del? (theregister.com)

· How come instead of lesbian nurses, the only thing we ever get when we go to the hospital is a shot in the ass? And not the good kind. (kerppu.net)

· Wonkette's "Ask A Lobbyist" feature gets to the bottom of trading sex for political influence. As if anyone would ever actually sleep with a member of Congress without getting paid for it. (Wonkette)

· Brad Pitt reveals how strippers changed his life. You know, beyond the obvious ways that strippers change everyone's life. (people.com)

· As this photo gallery proves, last month's Condom Festival in Bangkok was ribbed for her pleasure. You can never be too careful. (webshots.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

We hate to pick on amateur pornographers, since it is very kind—and brave—of them to share their sexual exploits with the world. Plus, you know, they're amateurs, which means you can't expect the same level of technical sophistication and wardrobe assistance that you get from your better porn studios. However ... if you are going to dress up like a slutty nurse and fuck your husband for the camera, at least try to get a convincing hat. Sorry to be such nitpickers, but when you watch as much porn as we do it's the little things that matter. Like the timing on this money shot, for example, which in its own goofy way sort of makes up for the lack of costume design. See, we don't have to be so negative all the time!

- - -

· "Wife suckin and fuckin in nurse outfit" (xTube)

* * * * *
Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives