Every now and again a new bundle of blondely precocious porn goodness is born into the world, usually in Ohio. This time, the girl with the brilliant blue eyes, innocent smile, and ferocious sexual appetite happens to be named Shawna Lenee, having already worked her way through several other aliases—including Kara Mynor and Kara Bare—in search of the perfect one. (We're guessing that "I Heart Kara" didn't test too well with focus groups or something.)

By now you know the premium placed on novelty in the porn industry, and nothing is more beautiful (at least in terms of a QuickBooks entry) than the first time a starlet is captured in flagrante on camera. And though we have found that young Jean Laconia told three separate directors on three different days that the scene she shot for them was her first, we realized that we don't care; Let her say that. Maybe it's her thing. Maybe the next big fetish will be Girls Who Say It's Their First Time But It Really Isn't. We'd watch Jean Laconia restock our Sparkletts cups.

"Geeks would be so attractive if they'd just take care of themselves," said Warcraft guild ace, porn performer, and sometime LARPer Winter Sky. "A guy who plays video games all day isn't unappealing because he plays videogames all day; it's because he doesn't clean up the pizza boxes, use deodorant, or iron his shirt."

Sky appears in the geekporn series "Whorelore", in which she may or may not don pointy ears. "Geeks would have it made if they just shaped up."

· Winter Sky (myspace.com)
· Winter Sky @ Goldstar Modeling (goldstarmodeling.com)
· Whorelore (whorelore.com)

We worried that the joy that was "Dirtpipe Milkshakes" would never come again, but we were looking in the wrong place. Perusing a BBW movie called, as you'd expect, "Heavy Loads," we found Mz. Buttaworth, who boasts a 56' inch ass. That is right: you wish her ass were your television.

Meet Rucca: The Girl And Her Butt Plug

Unlike her flash-in-the-pan fascinatingly-named predecessor Strokahontas, Rucca Page seems fierce and present. With a Billy Idol sneer, bruised knees, maybe a baby in the next room, and a way of saying "pussy" that sounds like there's an "i" in it, Ms. Page handles and absorbs all manner of objects in the aptly-titled "Over-Stuffed 5." I don't know where she's been or where she'll go, or even where the name "Rucca" came from, but one thing is certain: she can fit an Inmate in her ass.

· JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
· "Tucker: The Man And His Dream" (imdb.com)
· Buy "Over-Stuffed 5" (gamelink.com)

That Scarlett Pain isn't punk for pay; she really lives the life. From her gritty warehouse mattress scene in "Little Runaway 2" to getting her 11th tattoo, while naked, on film in Matt Zane's "Tattooed and Tight 3," we feel that the 26-year-old Pain said what she meant and meant what she said. "I get tattoos when I'm stressed out," Pain said. "And it calms me right down." Please leave some room for our own product placement, Scarlett.

· Scarlett Pain (scarlettpain.com)
· View trailer and buy "Tattooed And Tight 3" (adultfilmdatabase.com)

There's a lot to like (and, uh, adore even!) about new Lazerbunny contract gal Ariel Adore: her pale skin, her green eyes, her long legs, the way those tasteful piercings and tattoos complement every curve on her gorgeous body. Ariel, on the other hand, only seems to have eyes for that ten inch glass dildo she's getting all up close and personal with in her new photoset and accompanying video series, which is appropriately titled "The Life and Times of Ariel's Dildo". Somehow, though, we're not feeling too excluded or anything ...

When we read the press release today announcing that Digital Playground had signed the adorable Riley Steele&trade — yes, she's trademarked already despite the fact that as far as we can tell only one photo of her exists — as the "newest and youngest addition to the studio's elite roster of world-renowned talent", we somehow couldn't help thinking about that part in "Showgirls" where a bedridden Gina Gershon, having been literally and metaphorically crippled by Elizabeth Berkley's overweening ambition, tells her former protegé "There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs behind you." Whether this will translate to a knock-down, drag-out catfight between Riley&trade and the formerly newest DP addition Stoya&trade or veteran contract superstar Jesse Jane&trade remains to be seen, but in the meantime we're told we'll have to wait until the release of the eagerly awaited sequel to "Pirates" this fall to see Riley&trade make her onscreen debut. (Note to Digital Playground: We'd totally pay to see Riley™ in some hot catfight action with Stoya&trade and/or Jesse&trade before then, though. We're just saying.)

· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Fleshbot's Bureau of Invented Statistics reports that the first blog post of any DIY porn website package is "I'm always horny!" followed closely by "Hey Guys Just trYing This out LOL!!!!1!"

The leonine and varipelted Randi Wright seems well on track with her recent website launch, and dispels rumors that those symmetrical markings on her abs are not where the urban legend organ farmers got her kidneys but rose tattoos instead.

· Randi Wright (allrandiwright.com)