Fleshbot: nautica thorn

Coping With Rope Burn Through "Shay Jordan Slippage"

Ottimo Massimo — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Some porns you watch, you play along at home with the actors, you get off, and go to sleep. And then there are films that facilitate an identity crisis.

Shay Jordan Slippage

Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Celeste
Cast: Shay Jordan, Daisy Marie, Jandi Lin, Nautica Thorn, Britney Amber, Nika Noir, Priva, Karina Kay, Ben English, Danny Mountain, Johnny Sins, Tommy Gunn

The first thing you see is Karina Kay writing on the floor, calves bound to thighs, touching herself. This is a marvelously hot way to roll the opening credits.

What you don't realize is that you've essentially watched the whole movie.

In almost every scene, Karina Kay is elaborately bound and placed to the side of the action. So just as Shay and Daisy Marie are freed and fucked out of their nylon ropes, you see Karina on the bed, facing away from the threesome. What is she doing there? No idea. Do they ever touch her? Nope.

Of course, the cast manages to get along fine by themselves. Shay and Daisy are ravenous. Priva and Danny Mountain carry on an intimate anal scene from the comforts of an armchair. Shay's other scenes, one with Danny and the other with Nika Noir and Johnny Sins, are both delightfully spank-heavy. Without fail, all of the scenes are rough and sweaty.

Save for Karina, none of the girls are too hindered by their ropes. Jandi Lin, in one scene, holds Britney Amber's by her leash, and cockchokes her on Tommy Gunn.

Tommy, actually, is the most demobilized member of the cast, as one scene has him completely cocooned in saran wrap. He just lies there like a steak as Nautica Thorn rubs him through the plastic. Eventually she frees him, but part of me wishes she hadn't. Something about Nautica only popping out his penis and hands (the useful parts) and riding him, plastic and all, is fun to watch in a mummy-sex kind of way.

Meanwhile, Karina's just sitting there, watching. Hanging out. Sporting more rope than a Spanish galleon. Looking bored. Not even masturbating.

At one point, Nautica looks at her and says, "You know you want some."

It is then you know for sure that this is all in Karina's head. And her own masturbatory fantasy is staring back at her.

It is then you realize you are Karina Kay.

Shay Jordan and Nika Noir
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Karina Kay
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Karina Kay
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Priva
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Shay Jordan
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Jandi Lin and Britney Amber
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Tommy Gunn, Britney Amber, and Jandi Lin
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Tommy Gunn, Jandi Lin, and Britney Amber
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Jandi Lin, Britney Amber, and Tommy Gunn
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Danny Mountain and Karina Kay
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Nautica Thorn and Tommy Gunn
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Nautica Thorn, Tommy Gunn, and Karina Kay
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Nautica Thorn and Tommy Gunn
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Priva and Danny Mountain
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Priva and Danny Mountain
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Priva and Danny Mountain
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Shay Jordan, Daisy Marie, and Johnny Sins
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Shay Jordan and Danny Mountain
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Shay Jordan, Nika Noir, and Ben English
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Shay Jordan, Nika Noir, and Ben English
Buy "Shay Jordan Slippage" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Your Weekend In Vibrating Pussies And Asses

Gram Ponante — Fri, 22 May 2009 13:30:01 EDT

You know that feeling when you've got your barely-legal, barefoot and tippy-toed, cornfed and eager Mormon spouse by the ass? (You do? Awesome.) Well, like Matt Hooper said, I've got that beat. We've got a loveseat full of Cyberskin pussies and asses here at Fleshbot West. Can you identify them?

The fucking of a vibrating Cyberskin pussy and ass (not to be confused with "The Taking of Pelham 123," unless "Pelham 123" is your new dorm shorthand for pussy and ass, which it should be) isn't a light affair. In fact, some of these items are downright heavy.

Bree Olson's Cyberskin Doggy Style Vibrating Pussy & Ass, for example, weighs about 600 lbs. The idea is that, after you're done doing it doggy-style, you crawl into it and start a new life.

Olson's parts are the biggest of this collection, even bigger than those of April Flores, which tells you that Cyberskin reality is different from yours and mine.

The Cyberskin world also ascribes different value to the angle by which one enters. You'll notice that Olson and Roxy Reynolds are doggy-style marital aids and take up the most real estate, whereas Flores and the Unknown Vagina look petite and dainty by comparison.

That leaves us with Nautica Thorn's "Jackhammer" girljunk. Her ankles are floating near her ears in this pose, and you are meant to jackhammer her on a table or similar surface. In contrast to the other vaginas presented, it looks like her vag is trying to get away. Better catch it!

Each of these items is solid, malleable and, if you leave them in the sun long enough, deliciously sweaty. Keep that in mind when you bring them upstairs to meet your mom.

· Topco (topcosales.us)
· Buy Bree Olson's CyberSkin Doggy Style Vibrating Pussy and Ass (gamelink.com)
· Buy April Flores' CyberSkin Voluptuous Pussy (gamelink.com)
· Does Cyberskin April Flores dream of electric sheep? (gramponante.us)
· Buy Nautica Thorn's Jackhammer Pussy and Ass (sensualadvisor.com)
· Buy Roxy Reynolds' CyberSkin Pussy and Ass (forbiddenerotics.com)

The Search For The "Da Vinci Load" Continues With "Angels & Semen"

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 18 May 2009 16:30:01 EDT

In a ~~slightly~~ more blatant reference to Dan Brown's latest onscreen epic, Hustler has just released "The Da Vinci Load 2: Angels & Semen." With all due respect to Tom Hanks, we'd much rather watch Evan Stone search for the anal gspot than, well, go see "Angels & Demons."

· Da Vinci Load 2: Angels & Semen (hustlerworld.com)

"Naked Ambition" Documentary Takes An R-Rated Look At An X-Rated Industry

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 16:30:01 EDT

Back in 2007, we were drooling over photographer Michael Grecco's new book of pornstar portaits, "Naked Ambiition." Little did we know, Grecco was also in the process of making a documentary of the same name.

"Naked Ambition: An R-Rated Look At An X-Rated Industry"—which comes out next month—expands on Grecco's book, with plenty of footage from the Adult Entertainment Expo and AVN Awards, and a whole slew of pornstar interviews (including one with our dear Supreme Commandress, Joanna Angel). Since it was shot two years ago, some of its stars have since moved on (and some of our current favorites had yet to debut), but it's still a fascinating look at our favorite industry. But hey, you don't have to take our word for it—check out the trailer below.

· Naked Ambition (nakedambition.com, via hustlerworld.com)

"Hose On Hoes": Because Nothing Beats Off A Great Pair of Legs

Gram Ponante — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 16:00:00 EST

While we know that headline makes no sense, pantyhose enthusiasts are well-served by this Nautica Thorn production, as the hose both stays on and yields to the Sapphic whims of ten stockinged pornstresses, who do everything they can to get past the mesh to the flesh.

Ice La Fox, Whitney Stevens, Whitney Fears, Alyssa Reece, Renae Cruz, Abbey Brooks, Charli Laine, Karlie Montana, Ann Marie, and Gianna Lynn are beautiful eye candy in this movie, co-directed by Nautica Thorn and Payaso.

My only beef with this film (other than the fact that Thorn isn't in it herself) is the camera work. It is so fluidly filmed that the camera does not linger on a person or part long enough. This is a crime because everyone looks so good. A true hosiery fan would be happy that each performer is wearing and tearing her hose throughout her scene, but could be disappointed that the camera does not love them enough.

Maybe Nautica wanted us to not forget her.

Special kudos to the arresting boxcover artwork and to the punny, funny title itself. Looking forward to "Rapes by Rakes" (simulated, of course).

· Nautica Thorn (enternautica.com)
· Buy "Hose on Hoes" (gamelink.com)

Nautica Thorn Plays With Sticks And Balls

Evelyn Leigh — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 18:30:00 EST

Playing pool with your girlfriends rarely leads to anything interesting. Unless, of course, one of your girlfriends happens to be the very sexy Nautica Thorn, in which case the entertainment level gets turned way, way up. In fact, you might find it difficult to keep your focus on the game when Nautica's around—we find that we tend to start thinking about sex. And blowjobs. Especially blowjobs. But, you know, that's just us... maybe you'll have an easier time keeping your mind on sticks and balls. Pool sticks, we mean.

. . .

· Rack 'em up! (full video at pornhub.com)

Foreign Exchange: Top Ten Sex Abroad Videos

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 13:00:00 EST

Before Tuesday's election made every in America peachy keen once again, we were toying with the idea of going expat. After eight years of a Bush presidency, we just couldn't stand the thought of yet another Republican in the White House—and there's a lot to be said for living abroad. We've always wanted to immerse ourselves in a foreign culture, and learn more about foreign ways... especially when it comes to the foreign ways of loving. As the videos below demonstrate, there's a lot we can learn from our friends from abroad. And actually... well, maybe we'll still go expat for a bit, anyway. Obama's not going to be president for another two and a half months anyway, right?

. . .

Tourist woman sucking Jamaican boy (redtube.com)

Country girl wants American cock (redtube.com)

Steffi fucking an Aussie and his pal (redtube.com)

The foreign exchange student (pornhub.com)

Indian girl has sex with foreigner (redtube.com)

Nautica Thorn teaches the American way of fucking (pornhub.com)

Rebeca Linares wants big American cock (pornhub.com)

French Pamela (youporn.com)

Paola Rey - South American Pie (pornkolt.com)

Anita Blond learning English (redtube.com)

Nautica Thorn Won't Quit Her Day Job

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 18:30:00 EDT

You know that times are tough all over when even a well-established star like Nautica Thorn has to moonlight in the construction trades just to make ends meet. Of course, like anyone who has to work two jobs knows, there's only one that will remain your true calling—the occupation that really allows you to show off your talents. No matter how many light fixtures she has to screw in, Nautica will always remember where her real passion lies. Like they say, when you find a job you love, you never have to "work" again.

. . .

· "Nautica Thorn In Maintence Girls" (PornHub)

Cytherea, Master Of The Impossible (And The Impossibly Hot)

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 10:50:54 EDT

Cytherea is a master of many things: master of deception, master of seduction, and (of course) master of squirting. But what if she were to combine all three talents — and bring in the lovely Nautica Thorn as her devious assistant? We'd have thought such a thing near impossible; the mere squirting alone would sap our energy. But then again, Cytherea isn't like the rest of us—she's better! Don't believe us? We'll let the video speak for itself.

. . .

· Amazing Cytherea in hot photoshoot squiring threesome! (pornhub.com)

Back To Basics: "Tera Goes Gonzo"

DCypher — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 19:55:16 EDT

When current reigning porn queen Tera Patrick decided to go back to her humble gonzo roots and prove that she can still fuck as nasty as all those callow up-and-coming porn starlets do these days, who did she call? Why, none other than pornographic legend Ed Powers, himself arguably a relic from the days when setting up a Betamax in your living room and filming yourself fucking barely legal girls half your age was considered cutting edge.

Actually. we’re not sure exactly what Ed contributes to "Tera Goes Gonzo"; we were too bust watching Tera and her costars to analyze things too much. But one thing is clear: with a supporting cast that includes Nautica Thorn, Daisy Marie, Roxy DeVille, Gianna Lynn, Kelle Marie, and Stefani Morgan, we’re more than willing to endure whatever other support staff Tera decided to hire to get things done.

In other news, we hear that TeraVision has also leased out the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Geneva and will harness its awesome power to travel back to 1982 and make a real proto-gonzo video. In the meantime, however, "Tera Goes Gonzo" hits the shelves later this month..

• Tera Patrick (all things Tera @ terapatrick.com)
• Order: "Tera Goes Gonzo" (adultdvdempire.com)

We love Nautica Thorn so much that we even...

Jonnobot — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 12:38:54 EDT

We love Nautica Thorn so much that we even sat through this really awkward video where her interviewer runs out of questions and you can't hear half of what she's saying because of all the background noise. Good thing she's every bit as adorable with the sound turned off. (hustlerworld.com - thanks Alex)

Stormy, Tera, And Jesse Descend On Miami

Gram Ponante — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 17:14:42 EDT

Jesse Jane, Tera Patrick, and Stormy Daniels will host the three-day fan convention Exxxotica: Miami this weekend, joining everyone from Ron Jeremy (of course) to Jenna Haze, Eva Angelina, Bree Olson, Kayden Kross, Joanna Angel, Nautica Thorn, Moxxie Maddron, Roxy DeVille, the saucy Lisa Sparxxx, Donna Doll, and Taylor Wane to romp at the "erotic event" that could only happen at the Miami Beach Convention Center. Speaking of erotic, "Girls Gone Wild" will be there, too (now that the tax deadline has passed).

Sort Of Happily Ever After: Wicked's "Once Upon A Crime"

DCypher — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 13:42:18 EDT

Auteur David Stanley and Wicked Pictures have parted ways, but not before the company released "One Upon A Crime", a sure to be overlooked but brilliantly surreal odyssey into the heart of an unsatisfying and faithless marriage. (Storybook author Kirsten Price's, that is, and in case you were wondering.)

Stanley's imagination is as impressive it is perverse: with Price's character's career as its jumping-off point, "Once Upon A Crime" turns into a sexy version of Willy Wonka's moral chocolate factory (sans Oompa Loompas but complete with an army of love drones). Featuring admirable sexual performances (and yes, acting) from Kirsten Price, August, Lindsey Meadows, Nautica Thorn, Ryder Skye, Barrett Blade, Eric Masterson, and Randy Spears, it left us wondering whether Stanley is a fucking genius, totally nuts, or both ... and anxiously awaiting to see what he comes up with next.

· "Once Upon A Crime" Trailer
· Order: "Once Upon A Crime" (Adult DVD Empire)

Porn Valley Dispatch: Paintballed, Sure ... But Also Balled

Gram Ponante — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 20:05:16 EST

Punkporn legend and suspension provocateur Matt Zane has issued a call for likely lads to engage in extreme, "Jackass"-style activities with a porny twist: "'Punkdurass 3' features guys performing outlandish stunts in order to achieve the goal of working with a top of the line porn girl." (Past talent has included Flower Tucci, Nautica Thorn, Sarah Vandella, and Tera Wray.)

Zane said that the dude who got paintballed while wearing a jockstrap has - shocking! - left the production, so the organization has some openings. Interested parties should e-mail here.

· Evolution Distribution (evolutiondist.com)
· Buy "Punkdurass 2" (adultdvdemart.com)

Flesh Flicks: Nautica Thorn Likes A Challenge

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 16:52:23 EST

A lot of you probably watch any film featuring porn stud Mandingo with a "that can't be real" expression permanently affixed to your face, but as many female adult stars can attest ... it's real enough. Nautica Thorn, however, is a professional who does not shy away from a shocking or unexpected turn of events. Nothing will stay this girl from the swift completion of her appointed rounds, although it might take a little longer than usual when she has that much ground to cover.

· "Nautica Fucking Mandingo" (Megarotic)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Jizz The Season: Have A Very "Barely Legal Christmas"

Gram Ponante — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 17:30:29 EST

Ashley Blue is transported with Christmastime joy in this clunky repackaging of "Barely Legal"s Past, where we are also treated to Penny Flame's chestnuts, calling bird Sasha Grey, and Paulina James' fa-la-la-latio skills.

Read our review of "Barely Legal Christmas" after the gap.

. . .

Barely Legal Christmas
Studio: Hustler
Director: Jerome Tanner
Cast: Alexa Jordan, Aarielle Alexis, Nautica Thorn, Ashley Blue, Sasha Grey, Paulina James, Penny Flame

Review by Gram Ponante

The elfmaidens (Aarielle Alexis and Alex Jordan) feel that Santa is too traditional.

"Don't be gay," one says. "Girls don't want dolls, they want dongs. And boys don't want trains, they want to run trains - on girls like us."

This repackaging of five previously-released scenes with a Christmas wraparound dovetails nicely with the "Barely Legal" theme of letters to its eponymous magazine, but in this case the letters are repurposed for Santa.

Sasha Grey is deemed "naughty" for breaking and entering to what she thinks is her teacher's house in search of test answers. Instead she must deal with the homeowner and, in exchange for him not calling the police, must perform sexual acts upon his person. Personally, I think this is a nice gesture that cancels out the naughty one, but Hey, I'm a Buddhist and we don't believe in Santa.

Then we read a letter from Ashley Blue sent in the ancient days of "Barely Legal 27". She, as Santa says, is a "filthy lying whore" for duping realtors into believing she wants to rent houses when what she really wants is to use them for sex.

Penny Flame courts a security guard for backstage passes and he is the same guy who owned the house Sasha Grey broke into. That was a nice house, too; how much are security guards making?

Paulina James relates a tale of a three-way with Steven St. Croix and Marco Banderas. I found it utterly implausible. Something about mail theft.

Finally, the elves convince Santa not to cancel Christmas by the only means at their disposal.

No one will confuse this movie for an instant classic, but the individual scenes are good enough, though some voiceovers are by the performers and others are by sometime-"Barely Legal" directrix Erica Mclean. It would be better if the series chose one or the other, because it is jarring to hear 19-year-old Sasha Grey read her letter but 50-ish Mclean read another. Mclean, of course, gives the series a touch of wistful remembrance a la Jeanne Moreau in "The Lover".

Alexis and Jordan are at a disadvantage in their scene because, aside from it being tacked on, it seems to have been hastily shot "just in time for Christmas" back in September. Oh well. Jizz the season.

· Hustler (hustlerworld.com)
· Buy "Barely Legal Christmas" (gamelink.com)

Urban Landscapes: "Klub Slutz"

Gram Ponante — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 09:30:42 EST

If you think of L.A. as a "Thunderdome"-esque cesspit where Nick Manning drops loads on poodle-haired apocalyptotarts in large groping rooms, where narrators inform you that "Here grit is glamour, and the goal is to reach the bottom (not the top)", and where drink prices are probably very high, then Penthouse's "Klub Slutz" is for you. We're not sure if civilization still has the power to prevent the "Klub Slutz" world from arriving or if this movie foreshadows our human destiny. Either way, were we the type to wear housecoats brimming with rolled up tissues, we would grab Nautica Thorn and wipe all that makeup off.

"You're twice as pretty without it," we'd say, and then drop loads.

· Penthouse (penthouse.com)
· Buy "Klub Slutz" (gamelink.com)

Previously: Porn Of The Moment Archive

Photoplay: "Entering Nautica Thorn"

Gram Ponante — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:13:15 EDT

You'd think that the lovely Nautica Thorn, who produced and directed this movie, would have had the wherewithal to wear something other than uncomfortable high-heeled shoes or would have had someone else take off her leopard-print bra for her. But it seems the Hawaii native has a streak of Yankee self-sacrifice running through her (in addition to Nick Manning).

See more snaps from "Entering Nautica Thorn" after the gap.

In an interlude with Pride of Saugus Tyler Faith, we can imagine that each morning Thorn stops by her baby grand, plucks a flower from the vase atop it, and sticks one in her hair. That's living off the porn grid!

Because it's her house and her movie, Thorn is not chastised by Kelly Wells for intruding on her private and wholesome strivings with a camera. (Note: Alec Knight is, in fact, alive under there.)

Kimberly Kane drops by, but where is her other hand?

Finally, the always vocal Nick Manning joins Jay Lasseter to render Thorn momentarily speechless.

The canny Thorn named this movie after her website, in much the same way we named our porn movie "Fleshbot Presents CNN.com." Smart!

· Nautica Thorn (enternautica.com)
· Buy "Entering Nautica Thorn" (gamelink.com)

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Previously: Photoplay Archive

Porn Valley Dispatch: "Barely"-Contained Excitement

Gram Ponante — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 19:57:55 EDT

Hustler's "Barely Legal" series has reached its 75th installment, and that doesn't even cover all the intra-"Legal" iterations, like "Barely Legal Summer Camp", "Barely Legal Innocence", and "Barely Legal in Space" (all right, I made up the last one, but you know you'll see it sooner or later).

To celebrate the occasion, director Erica McLean (widow of series creator Clive) is hosting a signing Thursday night at Hustler Hollywood featuring "Barely Legal" ladies past and present, including Audrey Hollander, Kimberly Kane, Nautica Thorn, and Jenny Hendrix (seen above with a pair of panties she threw at me). "Barely Legal" inspired costumes are encouraged; I'm going to go as a dirty old man! (PS - I am 23.)

· Hustler Hollywood (hustlerhollywood.com)
· Buy "Barely Legal 75" (adultdvdempire.com)
· Buy "Barely Legal 1" (gamelink.com)

Photoplay: "Dirty Talk"

Gram Ponante — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 20:01:41 EDT

We all know the standard porn setup of the cable guy, pool cleaner, and Greenpeace canvaser, but DCypher's "Dirty Talk" throws some love to female stereotypes, to wit: the repressed sex writer. Photographed beautifully by Red Ezra and featuring the delicious Nautica Thorn, the movie is fantastically bad with the sound up. Join us for some odd couplings of words to pictures after the gap.

* * *

Nautica Thorn plays a sex writer trapped in an uncommunicative relationship with James Deen. He tells her he is hard and wants to fuck now, but she blows him off, and not in a good way. "Don't you think it's ironic that you write an Internet sex column and you don't make time to make love with your boyfriend?" No, because Internet sex writers know what ironic means. Those are also the nails we use to type.

Still, Deen and Thorn have some valedictory sex, though neither knows it at the time. Throughout the movie, we can hear the stage directions in the background, people laughing, and I think even shooting sex scenes in other rooms. AVN gave this movie its highest rating.

Thorn's column is called "Dirty Talk". Van Damage writes to Nautica seeking a way to add spark to his failing marriage. "She's put on five pounds, I've put on ten," Damage laments. Oh my God, annul that shit, stat!

"Bathe her, worship her," Thorn directs. "Allow yourself to connect to that thing that turned you on in the first place."

The soon-to-be-born-again Crissy Moran writes to say that she is a lesbian. "The only real fun I have is watching lesbian porn and flipping through the swimsuit calendar with the lights dimmed," she says. We flash to Moran watching lesbian porn and licking a dildo.

Moran is reading "Best Lesbian Erotica" at an espresso bar and thumb-biting Ashley Steele comes in, orders a coffee, passes Moran her number, and leaves without the coffee. Silly lesbian!

Meanwhile, Deen hooks up with his secretary and Thorn hooks up with Nick Manning. "I feel free now," Thorn says.

Manning understands. "Michael could never understand that he's hung up on a world of secrets and lies that hurt," he says, wrapping it all up. "It's all about love and honesty and pleasure."

· Metro Interactive (metrointeractive.com)
· Buy "Dirty Talk" (gamelink.com)

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Previously: Photoplay Archive