You know, we spend so much time writing about unusual and outrageous stuff around here that we sometimes lose sight of the simpler things in life—like getting you off. And when all is said and done, getting you off is what makes us happy! (Well, that and the new guy at the gelateria around the corner who always wears these short-cut t-shirts that ride up a couple of inches on his backside when he bends over to dig out our scoop of dulce de leche; those things make us happy too.) So in an effort to please ourselves and you, gentle reader, we present today's not-so-exhaustive roundup of pure down-and-dirty amateur hotness. No plushies, no clothespins, no bowling balls up the anus this time—just hot solo action. You can thank us later.

In gayborhoods across the land, many of you will celebrate Pride this weekend. But although rainbow flags and drag shows in the park seem as common as Mariah Carey remixes these days, that hasn't always been the case: not so long ago queerness was something that was communicated through coded forms of dress and special language instead of through, you know, Mariah Carey remixes. So, as we celebrate another year of waiting for more states to follow the lead of Massachusetts and California, here are a few galleries of pics from the olden days—which in retrospect (and especially for fans of posing straps and loincloths), don't look like they were so bad in some ways after all.

Here at Fleshbot, we understand that lust is a many-splendored thing. Some go for twinks, others like them chubby, and some—we're not naming names—dig inanimate objects like that hot new Braun coffeemaker in the break room. You know, the one with those sleek, sexy curves and that soft, perfectly rounded orifice from whence pours the hottest, richest coffee we've ever tasted ... But we digress.

Still, most of the gays we know would probably agree that watching straight boys in solo action is just plain hot. Whether it's the allure of forbidden fruit or that delectable frisson of watching them masturbate even though they thought putting "4 Da Ladiez ONLY!!!" in their video description meant that only ladiez would be watching them, straight guys offer something for everyone. (Unless, of course, you like to watch guys getting it on together—in which case, you might want to move on to another post.)

Here at Foxbase Fleshbot, we live on the edge. We talk to strangers. We take their candy. And we drink coffee all day long. You heard us: all day long. We are very edgy, indeed.

It should come as no surprise then, that we take our technological innovations really seriously. And although we were super-psyched to have Steve Jobs seduce us with his iPhone porn over yesterday's lunch (= two pints of panacotta gelato and more damn coffee, thank you), we were somewhat distracted by a new "fully interactive" video from Brazilian website outfit Magnus Muscle entitled "Total Control: Henry Silva", featuring what we believe to be Mr. Silva's debut DVD performance.

"Real Dick", Real Good, Right Here