· This just in: Scarlett Johansson will continue to not be naked in her movies. You guys just weren't praying hard enough. (femalefirst.co.uk)

· Gemma Atkinson isn't quite there either, but she is trying. Maybe next time she'll remember to drop the sheet. (celebpixx.blogspot.com)

· Workers in the Bahamas are up in arms over all the nude and gay tourists using their resort. Hey, if you can't be nude or gay in the Bahamas, then what's the point even having an island? (jonesbahamas.com)

· Embedding top-secret military information into porn files is the hottest new espionage tactic. Because no one will think to look there, right? (yomiuri.co.jp)

· Forget "citizen journalism"—we need more "citizen porn." They didn't put phones on cameras just so you could take pictures of funny street signs. (mbmagazine.co.uk)

· "Sex, Death and Desire" is pretty much what we deal with all day. Who knew our lives could be considered art? (evolutionpublishing.com.au)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Middle-aged suburban moms discover pole dancing and millions of teen-aged and twenty-something children try to pretend they didn't hear that. (nytimes.com)

· Pink is looking pretty healthy in her bikini and if you don't agree, she will absolutely kick the shit out of you. (hollywoodtuna.com)

· Cameron Diaz loves Drew Barrymore too much to let her dance around in the surf all by herself. They're like, totally BFFL, you know. (toxicmagazine.com)

· More on the Icelandic porn convention that wasn't. How can porn be illegal in a place where you can't go outside nine months out of the year? (icelandreview.com)

· Apparently, being a sex worker in Thailand is not as glamorous and exciting as all those American sex tourists would have you believe. (sundaytimes.lk)

· Meanwhile, sex workers in India would like to be known as "entertainment workers." Fine, but only if we can call ourselves entertainment bloggers. (expressindia.com)

· Woe to the teacher whose students discover that she bears a striking resemblance to a porn star. She'd probably get more respect from them, if she actually was a porn star. (dailyrecord.co.uk)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· You'll never be in danger of going extinct as long as you use these pick-up lines ... provided the person you use them on thinks Darwinian evolution is hot. (skepchick.org)

· Katie Price shows off her baby bump. You can't miss it—it's the one smaller one just below her two bigger bumps. (hollywoodtuna.com)

· Sienna Miller is apparently not a big fan of bikini tops. We understand; even we get a little sick of them sometimes too. (egotastic.com)

· Universal sues Perez Hilton for the topless Jennifer Aniston photos it claims were stolen. Guess no one told them about the 337 other bloggers who posted them as well. (thesmokinggun.com)

· Women's Health Magazine hands out its First Annual Sex Awards. No, you didn't win one. (womenshealthmag.com)

· That Canadian cellphone company that was going to make a fortune off mobile porn, decides that maybe it's not worth the hassle from all those protestors. Guess it's back to downloading it the old fashioned way. (theglobeandmail.com)

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Meet the babes of Hollyoaks, who may explain why it's one of the UK's most popular TV shows. They could have picked any British series to remake here in America and they chose "The Office"? (mannysbabes.blogspot.com)

· Note to the good folks at SFGate.com: If you're going to post stories with an anti-porn slant and change around the headlines and positions of porn-positive items on your site in the process, do not fuck with Violet Blue. She's not our gal Friday for nothing, you know. (tinynibbles.com; more @ Boing Boing)

· We'd make a lame My Bloody Valentine reference in telling you about this story of a date gone horribly wrong, but we're certain approximately 5.873 blogs have already beat us to the punch. (Besides, "Loveless" is too good an album to make bad jokes with.) (Defamer)

· It's legal to buy and own adult films in Australia, but that doesn't matter because it's against the law to sell them. That kind of logic must make our own Congress jealous. (xbiz.com)

· It is, however, still completely illegal to sell sex toys in Alabama, which at least demonstrates some consistency. We'd call for a travel boycott to protest their ridculous legislation, but really—who goes there anyway? (xbiz.com)

· We think we may finally found the perfect way to get teenagers to stop having sex: Make them attend the sex education classes as their grandparents. They'll never be horny again. (nytimes.com)

· Yes, the rumors are true—female orgasms do exist. Here's out to identify them in the wild. (msnbc.msn.com)

· Lots of cell phone companies are getting into the mobile porn biz, but they would rather you not know that. Just smile and nod and your naughty text messages will arrive shortly. (computing.co.uk)

· China will not be intimidated by New York City and they have their own branded condoms to prove it. Then again, they didn't get a billion people by being cautious. (voyage.typepad.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· How silly of us to tell you about a mother-daughter topless game show team, instead of showing you their special tag team skills. We also forgot to phrase it in the form of a question. (thesun.co.uk - thanks Martin!)

· If you wanted to go AVN, but a court order prevents you from leaving the state of California, you can now get your tickets to Erotica LA this summer. Don't scalp them all in one place. (avn.com)

· Bus stations in Bulgaria are showing porn on plasma TV screens to help passengers pass the time while they wait for their ride, but for some reason no one seems to be going anywhere. (metro.co.uk)

· A Canadian cellphone carrier expects to make $14 billion-with-a-B selling mobile porn over the next five years. The money will be paid out with checks that are really small and hard to read. (theglobeandmail.com)

· Some new techie gizmo claims it will protect your children while they're on the internets. But you'll probably have to ask your kid to install it for you. (Gizmodo)

· Saturday Night Light takes us back to the youthful days of gyrating hips, sweaty leotards and lusting after Jane Fonda ... uh, not that we ever did that. It was a friend of ours. (YouTube)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Watch out, terrorists! Security cameras can now see through your clothes, so always make sure you've got clean underwear on. (thesun.co.uk)

· Catch the second installment of Naomi Campbell's 3D scanning project via a live web broadcast today. It's more of a fashion shoot, so she's slightly less naked than the last time, but you know how it is with supermodels ... anything can happen. (showstudio.com, via Boing Boing.)

· In case you were wondering, nude candle pin bowling is not illegal in Maine. Just be careful where you throw your balls. (bangordailynews.com)

· Mozart had his penis removed, because he had a permanent erection. (PS: Mozart is an iguana. But we still feel sorry for him.) (metro.co.uk)

· Did you know that one in eight male telecommuters do their work in the buff? Want to guess which side of that scale your Fleshbot editors fall on? (computerworld.com)

· Sex education is so lousy in Britain that kids are forced to learn the birds and the bees from mobile phone porn. Text us later and we'll tell you all about it. (guardian.co.uk)

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Forget the SAG Awards: it's time to honor the true heroes—graphic designers who can work a cock and balls into an otherwise innocent corporate logos. Presenting the Phallic Logo Awards. (b3ta.com, via wired.com)

· Playboy is planning to introduce a new channel that's all Jenna Jameson, all the time. You can't escape, so stop struggling. (upi.com)

· What do San Franciscans think about Kink.com taking over the famous armory building? Let's just say that complaining about kinky people in San Francisco won't win you a lot of sympathy. (sfgate.com)

· You know the cheesy music in porn films that isn't very good and most people just ignore anyway? Well, John "Buttman" Stagliano takes that stuff very seriously for some reason. (Note: this may be the first time Reuters has published the word "Buttman" in a story.) (reuters.com)

· Neurologically speaking, female orgasms are so powerful that they could kill a mortal man. That sounds like a pretty good way to go. (mainichi-msn.co.jp)

· A Canadian cellphone company is now selling porn downloads. Those guys need something to keep them warm up there during their long, long winters. (canada.com)

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· A calendar featuring hot women golfers is disowned by the charity it was created to help. The reason: the golfers' "perfect breasts." Yeah, we hate that too. (womensgolfcalendar.com + golf.about.com)

· Wired is taking nominations for 2006's 10 Sexiest Geeks. If you want to throw a few more Fleshbot contributors into the mix this year ... hey, we won't complain. (wired.com)

· If you can somehow scroll past all the motorcycle photos on this post, you'll find out just what happens at those gearhead conventions after dark. Don't forget to tape your nipples. (mediabom.be)

· This sounds like a political movement we can finally sympathize with. (Wonkette)

· So what is wrong with using sex to advertise things anyway? Oh, right ... the whole religion and morality thing. You're objections are noted. (myspace.com)

· When looking for love, women want someone who will care deeply for them. Men look for someone who "enjoys sex." It's a wonder any of us ever get together. (theage.com.au)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Browsing through the listings at MyiPlayground makes us feel wistful for the good old days of smut (i.e., two years ago) when the words "mobile porn" were on everyone's, er, lips; when the prospect of never having to leave your house without a hot lesbian fisting threeway in your pocket at last became a reality; and when the letter "i" when prefixes to anything made it automatically New and Exciting. But nostalgia probably isn't the only thing you'll feel while browsing through this collection of paysite reviews and free hardcore clips from various TGP and preview galleries formatted to fit your iPod, PSP, or mobile phone; there's actually quite a bit of decent material to persue even if you don't own a handhelf device on which to view them. If we hadn't just traded in our bulky old video iPod for a more compact Shuffle, we might actually have downloaded a few clips to make our morning commute more interesting too.

· MyiPlayground.com: Mobile Porn Entertainment Directory (myiplayground.com)
· Thumbnail via Briana Devil (brianadevil.com)

Previously: Gold62's Amateurs, iPorn Directory, Porn on Nintendo DS?, FHM for PSP, Blinx Video to Go, My Dirty iPod, Porncaster.net, More iPod Video Porn

· The New York Times gives a great review to John Cameron Mitchell's "Shortbus". At least we think they like it. It's hard to tell without the up-or-down thumbs. (nytimes.com)

· Finally, some topless photos of Donatella Panayiotou and Holly Mcguire! Yeah, we've never heard of them either, but now there's a reason to care who they are. (mannysbabes.blogspot.com)

· Is this sign giving directions to family planning advice, or is it the advice itself? (adrants.com)

· Google Trends says that Americans are more interested in Raven Riley than Osama Bin Laden. Hey, we just follow our leaders. (moneyshotblog.blogspot.com)

· Send a camera phone picture of your daughter to friends and family and maybe they get the picture ... or maybe they get porn. Where do we sign up for that cell phone plan? (local6.com)

· An Australian fashion company proposes a "lingerie subsidy" to help save troubled marriages. That might be the best government pork project we've ever heard of. (theaustralian.news.com.au)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

While would-be mobile porn movers and shakers are meeting at the first annual Mobile Adult Content Congress in Miami this week to discuss both the growth of the medium as well as the "social responsibility to control and monitor delivery", Scotland is abuzz over a story concerning a young man who was sent an amateur porn clip on his cellphone while he was standing on a packed commuter train. Since we here at Fleshbot believe there's a time and a place for everything, we can certainly understand Scott's embarassment when the video started playing—though we'd give anything to have been able to see his fellow passengers' faces once they heard a man's voice screaming "Gie's a good porno face!" in a "broad Glasgow accent" accent across the crowded car. Sure would've perked up our evening commute.

· "STEAMY TRAIN: Scott sent DIY porn flick on busy express" (scan of The Sun article @ imageshack.us)
· "DrumChapelburd2" (QuickTime video with [very loud Glaswegian-accented] sound @ putfile.com - thanks Johann)

Previously: Indian MMS Porn Scandals, (Yet More) Camera Phone Porn, Wireless Gentleman's Club, Italian Phonecam Boobs, Wireless Phone Pics, Mobile Cock Portraits, Ben Dover's Cell Phone Porn, Mobile Mamms

Necessity is the mother of invention... which is to say that since many of us develop our deep love of breasts from our mothers, there will always be a need to innovate ways of accessing those breasts over vast distances. (Or something like that.) Case in point: UK magazine Nuts (think Stuff, but with birds instead of babes and mammaries displayed in their whole and unobstructed state) has just upgraded its "Hot or Not"-style breast rating site for your 3G-enabled mobile pleasure. Currently, there are 1137 breasts (I assume they mean pairs, not individual ones) available for your anywhere-within-cellphone-range perusal—if you have 3G and if you're in Europe, that is. If you're not, you can still slide on over to the Wet Breasts Challege companion site and lose yourself in some slippery goodness.A. Tolesco

· Assess My Breasts (assessmybreasts.com)
· Wet Breasts Challenge (wetbreastschallenge.com)

Previously: Say it With Boobs, My Boob Site, Time 4 Boobs, Boobs 4 Bourbon Street, Breastlove's Babes, Busty Blondes: a Tribute

Yes, it's yet another camera phone pic blog featuring a bunch of photos which may or may not have actually been taken with camera phones ... but unlike several of the umptyjillion other sites like this we've seen the pics here tend to be of a consistently higher quality, with a particular emphasis on shots of girls kissing. When they're not doing dirty things to giant weiners, that is.

Girls Blogged Wild (girlsblogged.textamerica.com - thanks L.)

Previously: Italian Phonecam Boobs, (Yet More) Camera Phone Porn, Indian MMS Porn Scandals, My Thong Is Showing, Wireless Phone Pics, Mobile Mamms

Our mobile handset-fondling colleagues at Gizmodo are all abuzz about the teledildonic possibilities of PhonePurr, a piece of software that transforms your Nokia or Sony Ericsson phone into a low-rent Highjoy personal massage device: "This little program ... is supposed to 'help you relax by relieving mental and physical stress.' Wrong! It s supposed to allow you to send strange pulsing vibrations to your friends via SMS. (Of course, sending strange pulsing vibrations to your friends via SMS is one of the best ways to relieve mental and physical stress that we can think of, but we're not about to quibble.)

PhonePurr (phonepurr.com, via Gizmodo; also spotted @ Slashdong)
Thumbnail co-credit: Beautiful Agony

Previously: Sexy Cellphone Watch: Samsung SCH-n330, Dial-An-Orgasm, The VibraExciter, Open Dildonics, Orgasm Alley, Alternative Power Vibrators

The pictures don't expand and they're not as explicit as some of the other examples of phonecam smut we've seen, but we still have to extend tante grazie to the folks at this Italian radio station for soliciting a treasure trove of boob flashing photos from their listeners for their second annual contest, prizes for which will be awarded at the end of the summer. Fortunately, the rest of us don't have to wait until then to spot a few winners of our own.

Fuori Di Seno 2005 (fuoridiseno.it; click "Concurso 2005" button in sidebar to view all entries - thanks J.)

Previously: (Yet More) Camera Phone Porn, Indian MMS Porn Scandals, My Thong Is Showing, Wireless Phone Pics, Mobile Mamms

Although we've been reading a lot of news stories lately about various Indian phonecam video scandals, we haven't really persued any of them here because it was difficult tracking down online sources where we could actually see the material—to say nothing about the fact that we'd never heard of any of the celebrities involved. So we're grateful to the industrious individual(s) behind this babelog for collecting all the clips in one place; we still might not know too much about Mallika Sherawat's career, but watching her porn lookalike in action is among the best sort of cross-cultural edification we can imagine.

Debonairblog.com: Scandals (debonairblog.com - thanks Fritz)

See also: "Cops ask Mallika to provide MMS clip" (Times of India)

Previously: Anara Gupta, India Times Babes, Padma Lakshmi

We'd love to have this post finally be the one to tell you about an exciting new development in the dirty moblog scene—like the release of an accessory that finds appropriate phonecam smut subjects via pheromone tracking technology, or an online filter that lets you skim past all those pages of boring thong shots to skip straight to the good stuff—but alas, this latest example to cross our inbox doesn't add anything particularly noteworthy to the genre save for a somewhat racier selection of photos, short video clips, and a paid membership option which allows you to access content directly from your mobile device. Still, we persevere in our quest to bring you as many sources of grainy, ill-lit T&A photos as we can. We haven't heard any complaints yet.

Camera Phone Porn (cpprn.com)

Previously: My Thong Is Showing, Wireless Phone Pics, Mobile Mamms, NinjaShot, PhoneBin, Hardcore Moblogging, More Sexy Moblogs, Mobile Asses

We never get tired of watching the ongoing (d)evolution of tech devices into porn implements, and while Wireless Phone Pics doesn't break much new ground in the field of dirty user-submitted phone cam photos, it does refine the genre via contests involving luxurious quantities of Red Bull and a flasher gallery that has nothing to do with cell phones (but which still had us distracted for at least a minute, which is saying a lot). Besides, what's not to love about yet another source of grainy amateur cameltoe shots? Nothing we can think of.

Wireless Phone Pics (wirelessphonepics.com)

Previously: Mobile Mamms, NinjaShot, PhoneBin, Hardcore Moblogging, More Sexy Moblogs, Mobile Asses

Once again, we're disappointed to realize that the promise of underwear that allows us to stalk track the whereabouts of the objects of our affection is still merely part of a contagious media experiment: "This amazing device will answer all of your questions! These panties can give you her location, and even her temperature and heart rate, and she will never even know it's there! Unlike the cumbersome and uncomfortable chastity belts of the past, these panties are 100% cotton, and use cutting-edge technology to help you protect what matters most." Surely by now some savvy nanotech company must realize that there's enough of a consumer demand for high-tech chastity devices to make mass production worthwhile?

"Forget-Me-Not Panties" (forgetmenotpanties.contagiousmedia.org, via Double Viking)

Bonus! Cell Phone Thong (cellpower.com, via sexblo.gs/textually.org)

Previously: Under(a)wareables