Fleshbot: milfwatch

Congratulations (And Welcome Back), Eva Angelina!

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:30:10 EST

This past summer, Eva Angelina bid us a temporary goodbye as she went off to go be pregnant.

Well, five months later, her baby has been born (it's a girl! Named Silvi!), and we can all look forward to seeing some Eva Angelina MILF porn somewhere down the line. Ah, the beautiful cycle of life. (avn.com)

Despite all the twittering about it today,...

Jonnobot — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:30:35 EDT

Despite all the twittering about it today, we're not really concerned whether VoteForTheMILF.com was really set up by the McCain campaign or not—we're more bummed that it doesn't redirect to, say, Vicky Vette's site. After all, we always prefer to throw our support behind someone who's actually qualified for the job at, er, hand. (election.twitter.com + vickyathome.com)

Yet More (Really Bad) Sarah Palin Porn

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 11:55:33 EDT

Porn has always a tendency to take cues from current events and pop culture (see: Operation Desert Stormy, Hillary For President, The Eliot Splitz-her Story). So it seems only natural that Sarah Palin's crash landing into the public eye would offer some inspiration to the great minds of Porn Valley. After all, there are so many angles to take: a dominating MILF who takes care of five kids, runs the country, and has mindblowing sex (all without mussing up her perfectly coiffed hair); the hot babe who puts some life into McCain's campaign (and his other parts too); or even just a gonzo look at the (sexy) secret life of hockey moms. (It does get pretty cold up there in Alaska, you know—how else do you think they keep warm?).

Yet somehow, all of the Pain "inspired" adult material we've see has just been ... well, sad. First there those "naked" Sarah Palin Photoshop jobs, most of which were pathetic at best. And now we've been confront with two more offerings that almost make us want to give up all together: over at BigBoobsAlert, Charlie James has been proclaimed the Sarah Palin of porn, largely because of her MILF status and (nonexistent) resemblance to the Republican VP nominee.

And then there's "Impalin Palin", a site which would shame even the most committed of Democrats. Aside from its clever name (as clever as "Elilot Splitz-her" at least) there's nothing redeeming about it whatsoever — not even the lousy Photoshop job of Palin riding McCain, which is most definitely the least convincing Sarah Palin fake we've ever seen. Our one consolation is that it seems unlikely this movie will ever get past the concept stage.

Come on, America: don't we deserve better porn?

· Charlie James seducing a young guy at Milf Lessons (bigboobsalert.com)
· Impalin Palin - The Sarah Palin Porn (impalinpalin.com)

Sarah Palin (Isn't Really) Nude (At All)!

Jonnobot — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 13:15:50 EDT

We knew it was just a matter of time until the interweb was flooded with fake nude photos of überMILF-of-the-moment Sarah Palin: after all, those former beauty pageant-worthy good looks and sexy librarian-style hairdo-and-eyeglasses combo were practically made for all sorts of fantasizing no matter which side of the bipartisan debate you happen to find yourself on. So what if some people think she's more LensCrafters than Naughty Office? That's the great thing about a democracy—everyone gets to have an opinion about who they want to jerk off to! Readers of [redacted due to lameness]* were recently challenged to come up with their best dirty Sarah Palin-inspired Photoshop fakes, and while the results vary widely in concept and execution they go to show just how deeply she's already instilled herself into our collective sexual consciousness. Ain't democracy wonderful?

*Update: Looks like the site we'd originally linked to has rather lamely removed the gallery and replaced it with an even lamer "apology" to "John McCain and the Republican party" for causing "offense"—which is just as well, because truthfully most of the fakes in it were pretty lame anyway. But we know there are tons more fake Palin porn pics out there where those came from; feel free to link to your faves in the comments below.

A new scientific study claims that men tend...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:55:55 EDT

A new scientific study claims that men tend to be attracted to and date women who look like their mother. So if the majority of your porn collection consists of MILF videos, well ... it should be a fun Thanksgiving!.(newscientist.com)

Brody Jenner's Mom Has Got It Going On

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 10:15:27 EDT

Maybe we've had our heads in the sand all summer, but we had no idea that Brody Jenner's mom (that's Linda Thompson to you) was such a MILF. It almost makes us wish we were friends with Brody, so we could go over his house after school and spend some quality time with her ... if you know what we mean. (Why yes, we are watching too much porn and wacky teen coming-of-age comedies. Why do you ask?)

. . .

Sarah Palin: And A MILF Shall Help Lead Them

Jonnobot — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:45:34 EDT

Despite the fact that Comedy Central's "Indecision 2008" blog has just described newly minted Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin as being "as MILFy as they come", we're having a hard time finding any pictures of her that would convince us whether she actually looks as good in a bikini as Helen Mirren does. Why couldn't she have been governer of a state that was a little warmer, fer crissakes? (blog.indecision2008.com - thanks Eric)

Does The Jenna have a bun in the oven? That...

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:40:49 EDT

Does The Jenna have a bun in the oven? That is to say: is she knocked up, with child, expecting, barefoot and/or preggers? Will the child have her mom's eyes or her dad's ability to crush a man's skull with his bare hands? And most important of all: will anyone still care in nine months? (nypost.com)

Michelle Marsh Returns!

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 10:45:00 EDT

Time was—back in the olden days of Spring 2007 or thereabouts—that you couldn't shake a stick on the interweb without hitting a picture of Michelle Marsh showing off her boobs: she and BFF Lucy Pinder were everywhere we looked back then, modeling up a storm and winning the hearts of lad mag fans everywhere. Then Michelle got married and had a baby, and while she continued to model for a while she eventually took a break from taking her top off in front of the camera. Fortunately, that break is over: Michelle is back to form in the new issue of Loaded. Her post-baby boobs are a bit larger than they were before, but you won't be hearing any complaints here. Who's going to argue with a new mom?

· Michelle Marsh Topless In Loaded- Sept. ‘08 (dailypoa.com)

Penny Lancaster Flashes Rod Stewart (And The Rest Of Us)

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 12:10:49 EDT

We've been dreaming of a fancy vacation—you know, one where we get to hang out on a boat somewhere off the shore of Italy, drinking wine and looking at Penny Lancaster's nipples. You know, the kind of vacation that Rod Stewart gets to take whenever he wants! Our dream vacation may still be just a dream ... but maybe these photos are the next best thing to being there, minus the wine and expense of getting to Italy. (Click thumbnail for gallery.)

. . .

Lisa Rinna Goes To The Beach

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 11:50:08 EDT

Showing your stuff on the beach isn't just for young and busty British glamour models you know; we're just as happy to watch somewhat older soap opera and celebrity dancing show stars enjoying themselves in the sun too, especially when they happen to be as well put together as Lisa Rinna. Hmm, a few more shots like this and she might want to consider putting together her own calendar for next year ... (Click thumbnail for gallery.)

. . .

The last time we saw Eva Herzigova, she...

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 12:25:15 EDT

The last time we saw Eva Herzigova, she was a mere MILF-to-be. Now that her baby's been born, however, we're happy to report that she's been elevated to full MILF status ... and my, doesn't she look lovely in a bikini? (thesun.co.uk)

MilfyPedia: When Other Reference Sources Aren't MILFy Enough

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 15:00:03 EDT

If the women of Boobpedia are starting to seem a little too inexperienced for your research purposes, where can the inquisitive and horny scholar turn for information? Allow us to introduce MilfyPedia, the only online reference source we're aware of that dedicates itself to the study of hot MILFs in their natural habitats. Okay, so it's more of a blog than a proper encyclopedia ... but if you can get past that minor detail, it's still an an excellent source of photos for the discriminating MILFthusiast, with daily photos of amateur MILFs doing all sorts of things to help the enterprising porn scholar get ahead in his or her field, if not actual head. (milfypedia.com)

Wow! Only $9 each way? Spirit Airlines is...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:45:03 EST

Wow! Only $9 each way? Spirit Airlines is about to have a lot of very happy customers ... or very disappointed ones. (spiritair.com)

Tristan Taormino tries to figure out what...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 13:23:45 EST

Tristan Taormino tries to figure out what is up with all the MILFs these days. They may be everywhere, but we confess that we have a hard time thinking of Nina Hartley as a mommy. Maybe as a really, really sexy older sister? (villagevoice.com)

Pregnancy has been very good to Halle Berry....

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 10:40:47 EDT

Pregnancy has been very good to Halle Berry. Or to her bra size, anyway. (egotastic.com)

Wildlife Porn Of The Moment: "Cougars In Heat"

Fleshbot — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 15:06:07 EDT

It is a measure of the continuing pornification of the English language that a mere half decade or so ago no one would've mistaken the title "Cougars In Heat" for anything other than a slightly risqué documentary on the Discovery Channel and this new release from Lethal Hardcore's Stoney Curtis would've been called something much less evocative, like "Who's Your Momma?" or "Vintage Vaginas". Cover copy like "Aged To Perfection: Sluts Who Need Cock All Night!", however, will never go out of style.

· "Cougars In Heat" (stoneycurtisxxx.com)
· See also: Victoria Valentino (official site @ xxxvictoriavalentino.com)

Previously: Catcall Porn of the Moment: "Your Mom's A Slut ...", Poetic Porn of the Moment: "MILF Filth", Inevitable Porn of the Moment: "Cuckold MILFs", Flesh Flicks: Return Of The MILF Hunter, Her First MILF: Because Girls Like 'Em Too

Breaking: Older women are still persuing...

Fleshbot — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 13:52:27 EDT

Breaking: Older women are still persuing (and being persued by) younger men. Since the phenomenon seems to have been a trend at least since 390 BCE, though, we guess it's not really news. (seattleweekly.com + classics.mit.edu)

Her First MILF: Because Girls Like 'Em Too

Fleshbot — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 14:12:21 EDT

MILFs may have entered our collective consciousness as an expression of a time-honored teenage boy fantasy, but that doesn't mean you have to be a teenage boy to appreciate them. In a commendable response to sites like MILF Hunter and Mommy Loves Cock, Her First MILF shows that horny frat boys aren't the only ones who can benefit from an older woman's experience and caring, matronly touch. (Sample copy: "A nice teen with small boobs is having her first taste of mature pussy. Watch this lovely angel as she takes her first few steps toward sexual maturity ...") Can we hope to see a Bold New Era of similar gender-equality hardcore niche sites popping up from now on, featuring things like POV strapon blowjobs and parthenogenic-like girl-on-girl dirt pipe milkshakes? Fingers crossed!

· Her First MILF (paysite previews @ herfirstmilf.com)

Reader Email Of The Week: Momma's Boy

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 23 May 2007 15:41:51 EDT

We love our readers. Seriously, we do. We especially love it when you reach out to us (metaphorically, please!) though the comments section and our tip line. It makes us feel all warm and fuzzy to be reminded that there are actual human people out there reading this stuff and enjoying it. However, we occasionally receive a message over the intertubes that is slightly bizarre, wholly inappropriate, and partially unsettling. That's when we really love our readers! We've decided to give you a peek into our world with this first (and last?) installment of our favorite Reader Email of the Week. This missive comes from a polite young man (he called us "Sir"!) who is not quite sure how to deal with the strange new feelings inside him, but quickly bounces back with a sensible solution to his MILF porn dilemma.

Dear Sir;
My name is [redacted], I am 19, writing from London.
I would like to ask you information about Milf please.
I have found photos of my Mother in topless on my Dad's computer, and after a lot of imbarassment I have now decided that I would like to be a bit naughty with her and show to some good website of MILF.
My mother is 42, and may you please give me some good tip of websites that show real photo of mothers please?
Thank you.
Regards.

Sorry, we can't help you son. But perhaps another reader will write to us about his new amateur MILF website that needs more pictures. These sorts of problems always have a way of working themselves out. Good luck!

Previously: How Not To Become A Fleshbot Commenter