"Swallow With Pride": Michael Lucas Sucks It Up

Brian Bodine Goes To Budapest

One of the nice things about being on Lucas Entertainment's press screener list is the occasional indigenous delicacy care package from his travels to Eastern Europe that Michael Lucas sends out along with his DVDs: Fine coffee! Cute little jars of paprika! Meaty, thick Hungarian sausages! (Yes, we're talking about actual sausages, not the ones that wind up on those DVDs.) His latest souvenirs, though, just might be the tastiest ones yet: real life twins Fabrizio and Fernando Mangiatti (who seem to have undergone some sort of ethnicization process since they appeared as "Alex and Ian Lynch" in that unfortunately titled swim jock flick a few years back), who were treated to Michael's unique brand of international diplomacy and goodwill via a double headed dildo fuck. Unfortunately for us, Michael didn't include them in his latest care package; fortunately for everyone, he did send us the pics on the gallery you'll find after the jump. We might not be planning any Continental jaunts ourselves until the dollar gets stronger, but armchair travel like this definitely has it benefits too.

We will let the press releases speak for themselves, because we have come to the conclusion that no one pays attention at adult awards shows — including the nevertheless enjoyable XBiz Awards last night, at which we at least know "Upload" won Best Feature and "Porn Week"'s Harmony Films won Best Emerging Studio (nice trick for being five years old) before Flower Tucci started disrobing and our attention was called elsewhere. See more snaps after the gap.

In 2007, Fleshbot's Central Porn Processing Plant handled everything from big budget epics like "Upload" to smaller, more personal films like the Amy Fisher Sex Tape. We laughed at comedies like "Spunk'd" , lifted up our (hearts) to lighthearted romps like "Babysitters", and then watched (them) get broken with "The Skin Trade". The year also saw us journeying to sordid warehouses and the beaches of Ibiza to bring you the finest snatches of Porn's Multistained Tapestry. And you finally commented!

Join us after the gap as America's Beloved Porn Journalist Gram Ponante takes us through this year's Dirty Dozen ... in no particular order.

You didn't have to read the extended title of "Michael Lucas' La Dolce Vita" to know just whose life the movie revolved around, and "The Intern" wasn't so much about its title subject as it was about ... guess who. So we can all pretty much expect that "Gigolo", the latest marquee production from Lucas Entertainment, is going to be yet another exercise in ego self-stroking by one of gay porn's masters of the craft. Right?

Michael Lucas Explains It All For You

Among the types of emails we get the most of here at Fleshbot Central (aside from v1Ag3a ads and Britney Spears cooch sightings) are requests from people hoping to break into the porn business and looking for information and advice. We never respond, since as far as we're concerned it's a fairly straightforward process: all you have to do is look in the mirror to see if you've got what it takes, and it's easy enough to contact the studios you're interested in working for to send in an application and a Polaroid or two to see if they agree. Still, advice always goes down better when it comes from pros like Michael Lucas, and especially when it's served up with a side of cheekbones and a sexy Russian accent. So if you still have any questions ... well, just watch the video a few more times and imagine what he would have to say about you, OK? (You can still keep sending us your naked pictures, though. We may not cast you for anything, but that doesn't mean we don't appreciate them.)

· Video by Richard Blakeley
· Lucas Blog (lucasblog.com)

Oh, Michael Lucas. We've always admired your genius for self promotion, and look forward to seeing "Gigolo", which we understand you're filming this week and which will be released ... er, whenever it's finished, we guess. But did you really have to go and send out a press release to promote it with the headline "Michael Lucas' found dead in Manhattan apartment" (sic) and an attached photo of yourself pretending to be strangled? It's kinda tasteless given recent circumstances in the gay porn world, and we're sure there's going to be even more people in the industry who will really want to strangle you as a result. Then again, pissing people off is one thing we love you for. Don't ever change, k?

Full press release (not that there's much of it) after the jump.

(In which we invite America's Beloved (And Avowedly Heterosexual) Porn Journalist Gram Ponante to share his perspective on gay porn classics and classics-to-be ... )

Other than "Can't Stop The Music" and "Miami Vice", I'd never seen a gay film before. (I don't count "Brokeback Mountain" as a gay film because if you can't get it through your head that that film is Just About Love then there's no saving you.) So upon receiving a copy of heartwarming gay porn insta-classic "The Intern", I had some hard questions for producer/star Michael Lucas and writer/director Tony DiMarco, primarily about how the movie was supposed to make me feel.

Read our conversation after the gap.

We were so busy waiting for Ben Andrews to drop his pants in "The Intern" that we forgot to properly introduce you to one of his other co-stars (no, not you-know-who): Jonathan Vargas is the fun-sized pretty boy who is paired opposite Jason Ridge in that first, double-headed dildo scene. Apparently it was love at first plunge, because now Jonathan refers to his co-star as "my porn husband" on his blog, where the New York City native (who looks like someone we knew at the legendary Asseteria party at Cheetah) also serves up behind-the-scenes video and photo reports from his global travels and nights on the town ... and, yes, more double-dildo screencap action. (You did want to see more, right?)

· "As Life Goes On" (Jonathan Vargas' blog @ jvargasxxx.blogspot.com)
· Model Profile: Jonathan Vargas (videography @ lucasentertainment.com)
· Jonathan Vargas (profile @ smutjunkies.com)

Previously: "The Intern": Yes, It's Supposed To Be Funny, DVD Review: Michael Lucas' "La Dolce Vita"

We might as well go ahead and admit it: We tend to have problems when porn tries to be something else besides just porn, and with porn comedies in particular. Most porn manages to be funny enough without any additional effort on a scriptwriter's part, and besides, if we're in the mood to laugh we'll pop in, say, a French and Saunders DVD instead of a dirty movie.

But unless you have a fetish for overweight British commediennes (and we are so not judging you if you do), it's hard to jerk off to a French and Saunders DVD. So where does this leave Lucas Entertainment's much-ballyhooed "The Intern", billed for months now as "an intentional porn comedy"? Read our review after the jump.