<![CDATA[Fleshbot: memphis monroe]]> http://tags.fleshbot.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/fleshbot.com.png <![CDATA[Fleshbot: memphis monroe]]> http://fleshbot.com/tag/memphismonroe http://fleshbot.com/tag/memphismonroe <![CDATA[Curiosity Prevails In Pink Visual's "Her First Lesbian Sex 16"]]> It's hard to tell which of these girls are having lesbian sex for the first time and which ones are seasoned in the art of girlie love. In fact, we're pretty sure most of these girls have done this before.

And yet...somehow that doesn't stop us from really enjoying their earnest exploration. What can we say? We love the ladies. Despite our best efforts to be discerning, to stand up for truth in porn, all of it seems to go out the window once there are naked and licking each other. When it comes to piles of pretty pussy, we're blinder than Lady Justice.

Blue Moon Productions brings us another prime selection for Pink Visual's latest release "Her First Lesbian Sex 16," starring a ridiculous amount of hot girls just plain going at each other. Seriously, there's enough scintillating girl-on-girl action here to cripple your average Mormon and permanently overturn Prop 8 once and for all.

Jaelyn Fox, Lexi Lamour, Memphis Monroe, Sandy Sweet, Oklahoma, Audrey Bitoni, Alyssa Dior, Chelsie Rae, Ellie Fox, Haileey James, Kimber, Regan Reese, Courtney James, Tanya, and Abbey Brooks shine on like crazy diamonds as they pursue the pleasures of sex with their closest girlfriends. We couldn't be happier with their enthusiasm for snatch or their willingness to thoroughly experiment with each other's honey pots for hours on end. Now that's our idea of Girl Power!

"Her First Lesbian Sex 16" is out now from Pink Visual. We suggest you follow their example and dive right in!

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Buy "Her First Lesbian Sex #16" (gamelink.com)
Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5333975&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[Jayden James's Asshole Sparkles In "This Butt's 4 U 5"]]> It's no real secret that Canadian wunderporno creator Eric Everhard loves anal sex. Or, for that matter, that he will share this love with the world for a modest sum.

So when we heard that he was releasing a fifth volume of "This Butt's 4 U," his amazing Jules Jordan anal series (albeit still bearing the brunt of the same antediluvian title), we were far from surprised. It's not like we thought he was going to resurrect smut's failed experiment with Nietzsche porn, right? Given his particular talent, endowed by his creator, labeling him a life support system for a cock is both a compliment and a benediction. We're hard pressed to believe he's losing sleep over it.

Everhard blends a nice mix of stretchy young Euro sphincter with all-American ripe and ready rectum this time around, letting the ladies' elastic puckers do the most of the trash talking. With a cast that includes Kirra Lynne, Chayse Evans, Memphis Monroe, Jayden Jaymes, Aletta Ocean, and Kylee Strutt...this is quite the release.

The results are on par with everything we've come to expect from Everhard. Memphis Monroe looks particularly stunning with a hard tool crammed all the way up her dirtbox and Aletta Ocean was born to go in through the out door. In the end it's Jayden James that steals the show. Girls that beautiful are rarely so filthy.

"This Butt's 4 U 5: drops this week. Don't ever say America hasn't been good to you, Mister Everhard.

Jayden James
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Jayden James
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Jayden James
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Jayden James
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Aletta Ocean
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Aletta Ocean
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Chayse Evans
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Chayse Evans
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Chayse Evans
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Chayse Evans
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Chayse Evans
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Kira Lynne
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Kira Lynne
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Kira Lynne
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Kira Lynne
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Kylee Strutt
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Kylee Strutt
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Kylee Strutt
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Memphis Monroe
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Memphis Monroe
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Memphis Monroe
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Memphis Monroe
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
Memphis Monroe
Buy "This Butt's 4 U 5" (gamelink.com)
Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5319529&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[Tom Byron Makes It Look Effortless In "King of Coochie 5"]]> Tom Byron has led an extraordinary life by anyone's standards. With his quiet unassuming nature, and the epic list of hotties he's nailed, he effortlessly holds down the crown.

His latest tribute to snatch, "King of Coochie 5," continues the tradition he set in place near decades ago of banging the piss out of smoking hot women. With smoldering hot starlets like Riley Shy, Delilah Strong, Memphis Monroe, Cristina Agave, and Christina, "KoC5" definitely delivers.

They may be some of the hottest chicks you've ever seen getting their tight little holes pumped chock full of Byron's fleshy, tumescent scepter, but for the King, it's just another day at the office. Luckily, the years have done little to dull the sense of excitement and enthusiasm in Tom's face as he thrusts his chubby prick into the wet and willing pink holes of these eager starlets until his balls are floating in their sticky juices.

Naturally, we paid a bit of extra attention to sweet young Riley Shy, the white hot redhead, taking a proper dose of rigid tool up her drooling honey pot. The delicate flush of pink that races across her nacre skin as Byron works himself into a froth blossoms across her face like a red rose in June. No words can describe it.

"King of Coochie 5" releases this month from Tom Byron. Check out the exclusive gallery below!

Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5310283&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[The Tits And Asses of "Girls n' Glasses"]]> Porn is all about vulnerability and accessibility, right? No? Well, that theory might still have some holes. Speaking of holes, visually impaired women have them too, and Digital Sin is betting they will feel grateful to get them filled.

Some of the 12 scenes in this compilation, let's face it, feature women who don't need the glasses they're wearing. Furthermore, I feel that a woman who needs her bifocals to fuck might be too remedial for my worldly, sadder but wiser sensibilities.

Still, from a purely fetish point of view, stick a pair of glasses on Memphis Monroe or Alicia Alighatti or—and this actually occurs in nature—Eva Angelina and you suddenly have a smart girl who wants to fuck you.

The specs are mostly incidental in this movie, mostly peered over the top of as fellatio is administered, rarely covered in ropey volleys, but they're there, and at least seem more pornographically iconic than a compilation disc of women getting fucked in tricorner hats.

· Digital Sin (digitalsin.com)

Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"
Buy "Girls n' Glasses"

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5278751&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[Exercise Balls: "Flexible Positions 2"]]> "You've got some big titties, Girl," a cameraman takes the time to inform an exercising Amy Reid.

"Kind of," she says.

This snippet of dialogue was presented at the beginning of "Flexible Positions 2," in which women are fucked on exercise equipment and their bodies bent every which way, as a helpful gesture, I think, that lets us know that the production respects us enough to acknowledge that they know we are not here for the dialogue.

Reid and Memphis Monroe are the Girl Next Door/Cornfed beauties in this title, and Britney Amber and Kenzi Marie their sharper, more Brentwood trophy wife counterparts.

But each is blonde, each can be draped over an exercise ball in somebody's weight room, and the sweat of each is cooled by the constant humming of an overhead fan and absorbed by a mat that I would not want to lick.

It is the girls who are flexible, you see, and not the scenes. It gives one the pleasant impression that an enterprising janitor at a Courtyard Marriott somewhere cut a hole in the wall of the minigym.

Watch "Flexible Positions 2" with the sound off (and if you're on a trampoline yourself, it will be like everyone is standing still).

· Fuck You Cash (fuckyoucash.com)
· Buy "Flexible Positions 2" (gamelink.com)

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5240070&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[Everhard Heeds The Call To Service In "Beyond the Call of Booty 3"]]> When normal pornographers fail to rise to the challenges presented by procuring perfect new asses to plunder, superman Eric Everhard steps forward to save our day with his throbbing appendage. What are friends for?

Like his aptly titled series, Everhard goes above and beyond the call in order to bring us the ripest, juiciest, very best bubbles out there—then proceeds to masterfully gape them with his unnatural endowment. When he's sufficiently stressed their elasticity, eliciting a high chorus of throaty orgasmic song that effervesces up from the depths of their clinging, swollen pink centers like an angelic aria in the process, he then proceeds to reward the degree of their sexual surrender by basting them in goopy servings of piping hot baby batter. From the looks on their exhausted and extremely satisfied faces, it seems they really appreciate his thoughtfulness.

Volume the 3rd engages the emotional, vaginal, and anal talents of willing participants Savannah Stern, Jessica Lynn, Katya, Dakota Brookes, Memphis Monroe, Asa Akira, and Riley Rey in this torrid psychosexual experiment in curvy goodness. We can say in all honesty that while there's not a single girl in this release we wouldn't love to bend and sample, the thought of uncorking delightful little Dakota Brookes at the same time as Katya is enough to drive us over the edge.

"Beyond the Call of Booty 3" releases this week from Eric Everhard & Jules Jordan Video. Take time out this holiday to appreciate the sacrifices our hero continually makes for our happiness, and the service he has so selflessly render to us all.

· "Beyond the Call of Booty 3" (julesjordanvideo.com)

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5154519&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[Going "Deeper" With Stoya]]> With such a heavy workload on his plate, it's hard to understand how the indefatigable Robby D manages to keep pumping out volume after volume of product for Digital Playground and still maintain such a high level of quality. Then again, when the subject of his exertions happens to be the divine Stoya (™, © and all that) ... well really, what better incentive can you think of for showing up to work every day and giving it your all?

For this, the eleventh installment of his "Deeper" series, Mr. D. has assembled a stellar ensemble to give Stoya her due, and then some: Memphis Monroe, Adriana Neveah, Alexis Luv, Hannah West, and dirty girl Annette Schwarz. The small slice of heaven spelled backwards who goes by the name of Adriana (yes, it took us a while to figure it out too) puts in a special effort to stand apart from the pack—but in the end, this is Stoya's vehicle all the way. There's a reason why she's such an inspiration to us all, you know.

"Deeper 11" (DVD info @ digitalplayground.com)
• Order: "Deeper 11" (Adult DVD Empire)

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5047378&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[(Not So) Extreme Sophia, But We're Good With That]]> Extreme Sophia climbs the carpeted stairs of her duplex, her mouth half open with a dreamy look that is supposed to suggest nymphomania and sex fatigue. All I can think is: I have seen this duplex. "Follow me," she says to us, and then proceeds to look at a magazine. Tease.


A collection of vignettes previously released on the web, "Extreme Holly Goes Solo" is an interesting document of solo porn culture, the type of low-overhead material shot in areas of the country (Arizona, Nevada, Florida) where the condos are redolent of tanning spray and the talent all have strong legs (they are dancers) and vocal fry from hustling lap dances. It occupies a venerated place in my heart, because I think: when I was in college, people like Extreme Sophia would have had her hands full slinging dollar beers but today she has a duplex and expensive boobs.


With chapter titles like "Fucking a Sponge," the movie isn't Belladonna/Bridgette Kerkove-level extreme. Instead, Sophia is reminiscent of Memphis Monroe and Kayden Kross in her blonde and well-proportioned wholesomeness. Of course she's only fucking a sponge. Similarly she fucks a hairbrush and a Barbie knockoff. Would that she'd also fuck my Griffin iCurve! Now that would be extreme. Especially if I was using it at the time...

After a distracting hair-color change (the movie's scenes were shot over a few months), Sophia inserts plastic cutlery into herself. Still not so extreme that she wouldn't be welcome at the GawkerMedia family picnic, which is good, because I'd be uncomfortable if she was the attention-seeking type.

Anyway, it turns out the duplex was not the same as the one in which I'd met Kiara Marie. The walls were different, as were the railings. I guess I'd become engrossed with the carpeting.

· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)
· Buy "Extreme Sophia Goes Solo" (gamelink.com)

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5039179&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA["Control 9": You Are Not The Boss Of Gabrielle Fox]]> Despite the fact that they have never sent Jesse Jane over bearing a gift basket or invited us to attend a private VIP screening of whatever parts of "Pirates 2" they have actually managed to film in between sending out all those press releases about it, we still give DIgital Playground a lot of love here at Fleshbot. And no, it's not because we secretly want director Robby D's job someday (though that would be pretty freakin' cool)—the only reason why we continue to drool over practically every product they release is because we think they're that good. (Well, that and the fact that they're pretty generous with sending over preview material to share with all of you, and we can never pass up the chance for some free fap material. But mostly because we think they're that good.)

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, we can turn our attention to the distinguished Mr. D's latest installment of his "Control" series. This one stars Gabriella Fox, who is looking suitably authoritative on the cover, along with Eva Angelina, Lacey Maguire, Memphis Monroe, and Kelly Divine. Once again, the movie explores the theme of sex as an exchange of power between two individuals. Camille Paglia types have seen fit to expound upon said theme via reams of deathless academic prose; we here at Fleshbot merely prefer to jerk off to it.

"Control 9" hits the shelves this week.

"Control 9" (DVD info + preview @ digitalplayground.com)
• Order: "Control 9" (Adult DVD EMpire)

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5030555&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[This Just In: Pornstars Still Like It Big]]> Since we last reported on this important topic, we'd love to be able to tell you that there's been a sea change in the way the adult industry views men with average-sized members, and that the whole "size matters" debate is one we can relegate to the dustbin of history along with Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign, the musical version of "Carrie", and the last season of "American Idol". But alas, Brazzers' latest compilation of scenes from their PornStarsLikeItBig.com website clearly shows us that this is not the case—and no amount of penis pumping or Enzyte or yohimbe can make up for it.

In "Porn Stars Like It Big Volume 2", size queens Cody Lane, Memphis Monroe, Puma Swede, Brooke Belle, and Savannah Gold lay to rest the pleasant fantasy some men have that women don't care about size by riding some of the biggest meat in the industry; in true Brazzers style, the apparent size and heft of said meat is enhanced by the judicious use of certain camera angles, casting actresses with small hands, and plenty of exaggerated "omg I can't buh-LIEVE the size of that thing!" facial expressions all around just in case you didn't already realize that the meat in question is, in fact, pretty darn big.

2008_06_06_plib2b.jpg
No one said life was fair. Still, know that we love you no matter what you're packing.

· Order: "Porn Stars Like It Big Volume 2" (Adult DVD Empire)
· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
· See also: Porn Stars Like It Big (paysite @ pornstarslikeitbig.com)

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=395307&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[More "Cheerleaders" From Digital Playground: Because Porn Archetypes Are That Way For A Reason]]> Digital Playground's pompom-and-pussy epic "Cheerleaders" first entered our consciousness a mere 72 hours ago and we've been anxiously awaiting our screener copy to arrive here at the Fleshbot South compound ever since: not since Halle Berry starred as Catwoman have so many of our buttons been pushed in one place by anything we've seen flicker across our screens. Sure, a few of you are already looking forward to seeing which wholesome fetish the studio will enshrine next (and we have to admit that Jessie Jane and Stoya starring in "Assistant District Attorneys" sounds pretty appealing) ... but for now, all we have are a bunch of DP's contract girls and assorted guest stars fucking the hell out of each other in a locker room while wearing short short skirts and ankle socks. Can't ask for anything more, can we?

Check out our "Cheerleaders" preview gallery after the jump.

. . .

Photos courtesy Digital Playground

· "Cheerleaders" (hardcore trailers @ digitalplayground.com)
· Order: "Cheerleaders" (Blu-Ray) (Adult DVD Empire)

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=373564&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[S-T-O-Y-A: What's That Spell?]]> As we wait for the "Pirates" sequel, Digital Playground is slowly adding to its documentation of wholesome fetishes by releasing "Cheerleaders", featuring numerous of the company's past and present contract stars, as well as Memphis Monroe (formerly of Hustler) and freshly minted Fleshbot crush object Priya Rai. And when Digital Playground asked me who should be doing the split on the cover, I came through for you.

"Cheerleaders" will be available on Blu-Ray and snail-disc on April 4. We're hoping "Stewardesses" is next.

· "Cheerleaders" (hardcore trailers @ digitalplayground.com)
· Order: "Cheerleaders" (Blu-Ray) (Adult DVD Empire)

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=371631&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[Memphis Monroe (And Her Bewbies) Come to Las Vegas]]> Even though we have never gone to a Hustler Casino, our impressions of them are fonda anyway since every bus in L.A. sports a poster of Memphis Monroe hyping them. Kentucky's own Monroe is now no longer a Hustler contract girl (and Hustler has abandoned that whole contract girl business since she left), so she is no longer jetting around to Hustler Hollywood stores in Ohio on Uncle Larry's Gulfstream but meeting fans the old-fashioned way: in Vegas with a new set of boobs.

"I got new bewbies," Monroe said in an e-mail (although I could have told how she spelled that word in person just by looking at her mouth. Oh God. I think I need to be alone.) "And I need to try them out."

To that end, Monroe is flogging her relaunched website by inviting two lucky (and carefully vetted) contest winners with her for a weekend in Vegas that will include "strip clubs and partying with me."

On the face of it, going to a strip club with Memphis Monroe sounds like a huge pile of fun, but if you have ever gone to a strip club with a hot girl you can define anew the word "invisible", because strippers will pay no attention to you aside from shoving you out of their way. Still, Monroe says, the point is you'll be with her and she can cater the weekend around you.

What's more, the other contest winner comes on a different weekend so you get Monroe (and her bodyguard) all to yourself.

2007_11_5_mm1.jpg

Yes, yes, yes. But what about the boobs?

"The boobies are great!!" Monroe said. "I love them, they feel so natural and hang really nice..."

All right. Well I'm convinced. So there you are, with your boobs, and I have just won a trip to Vegas with you...

"The winners really get the treat," she said. "First off, they will be flown into Las Vegas where they will be met by limo and a VIP host. They will then be taken to their Strip hotel (we haven't chosen the hotel yet). Throughout their time in Las Vegas they will be getting dinner reservations, hitting the gentleman's clubs, VIP bottle service at the nightclubs, laying poolside in the cabana, sightseeing the Strip, and a Spa Package from their hotel. All with me by their side."

"I still don't understand bottle service," I said.

"I explain the whole thing."

· Memphis Monroe Contest (memphiscontest.com)

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=319289&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Crystal Stroker with Love Bullet]]>

"Wonder Woman has the biggest clitoris I've ever seen"

... is how you might respond to the invisible cock-squeezing technology employed by this week's marital aid. Unlike many devices reviewed in this institution's virtual pages, there is almost no way for the Crystal Stroker (with Vibrating Love Bullet) to be used by a lady, unless she were to put it to work as a funnel that would further agitate and blend margaritas as she poured them into a glass.

Read our review of this For Men Only product after the gap. - GP

***

2007_5_14_matk2.jpg

While "Stroker" is a relatively recent term, male masturbation aids have been around for millennia, first in lamb form and, before that, a duck. So the prospect of sticking one's part into a disembodied vagina simulacrum, whether it be this device or my ex-wife, is not new. What is novel is its transparency in an age when we really need more of it, in our financial institutions, our government, and our sex toys.

The Crystal Stroker is clear, like Crystal Pepsi. Unlike Crystal Pepsi, however (because the pull-tab hole was way too painful), one can insert oneself into it. This is accomplished, we recommend, with the aid of water-based lube. While the lube might cloud the view, one will avoid the unpleasant similarity to humping the underside of the Rubbermaid mat most office chairs roll on.

This product pays only minimal, er, lip service to an actual vagina. Labia are definitely suggested by the item. It improves on the lady (and other stroking devices) by being open-ended; no more is the result of one's exertions left to collect in the hard-to-reach recesses. Like Onan's issue, however, there is a danger of one's seed being caught on the nubbly interior.

2007_5_14_matk3.jpg

This is a doodad that makes no pretense of being Memphis Monroe or Heather Vandeven. It is not shaped and rouged. It rids one of romantic attachments, unless there is a deep-seated fantasy about fucking Wonder Woman in the wreckage of her jet.

It further disregards traditional notions of up and down; one can either head in with the vibrating bullet on the bottom or on the top, depending on where such vibrations are most needed.

· A & E Crystal Stroker with Bullet (adameve.com)
· Topco (topcosales.us)

Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=260413&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Memphis Monroe's Vibrating Pussy And Ass]]>

Recently, Hustler's Memphis Monroe allowed her parts to be engooped and a cast to be made from them. Then that cast was electrified and strategically empinkened (the preferred industry term) and sent to me. What wasn't sent to me was Monroe herself so that I could try a side by side comparison. This has always been a requirement for testing such products and I don't know why no one ever complies (cf. that six-foot model of Chewbacca I got from Mattel in 1977).

Regardless, as has always beeen Our Way, we try to make sense of things we don't actually stick our dicks in. Read our impressions of this Memphis Monroe Home Companion after the gap. - GP

- - -

2007_3_14_matk2.jpg

Just as is done with those delicious Aidell's Sausages at Costco, Hustler provides prospective customers with a tiny sample of Memphis' P & A to prod before buying the full product. The set is manufactured by Topco, the thoughtful and benevolent inventors of Cyberskin, who remind us that this replica, if not Monroe herself, is phthalate-free.

2007_03_14_matk_mm.jpgThe VP&A is a solid, almost gooey mass that leaves one with a slight and not-unpleasant residue of chemicals after grasping its heft, unlike Monroe, who leaves the grasper smelling of peppermints and new-mown hay. I think the effect would be better if there were more of the replicant Monroe to grip, like if the package came with a little bit of torso or thigh. Luckily, we live in a post-pubic hair age, so there was no problem with figuring out nether locks (also the preferred industry term).

2007_3_14_matk3.jpg

The VP&A weighs about five pounds, which is exactly how much they weigh on the real person, despite her appearance of wholesomeness and cornfeddery. Two little holes at the back provide room for thumbs or, if you'd like to mount your conquest like they did in "Angela's Ashes", wall studs.

Finally, the Cyberskin, like those mattresses they advertise on "A Prairie Home Companion", eventually conforms to one's own impressions. After several harsh squeezes, Memphis Monroe's Vibrating Pussy And Ass actually remembered me.

· Hustler Memphis Monroe Vibrating Cyberskin Pussy & Ass (topco.us)
· Hustler (hustler.com)

· See also: "Derby Day for Memphis Monroe" (gramponante.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

]]>
http://fleshbot.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=244303&view=rss&microfeed=true