Fortunately, Hustler's happy to provide all the things the CW denied us: enter "This Ain't 90210 XXX," a sexier spin on the lives of those crazy kids from Beverly Hills. Now if they could just manage to include AnnaLynne McCord's nipple...we'd be all set.

· The Peach Pit Gang Is BACK! (hustlerworld.com)

Alexis Texas, Kelly Divine, Andi Anderson, Mackenzee Pierce and Olga Cabaeva each get a turn to show off their succulent cock hungry sphincters in the high-end gonzo before gobbling up dick in each and every juicy orifice.

Stand out performances include watching beautiful Kelly Divine take a hard helping of Mick Blue's infamous tool up her backside as well as Mackenzee Pierce's double dick down at the mercy of Scott Nails and James Deen.

We're not even sure we have words for what we saw Scott Nails do to Alexis Texas in this movie. Ineffable beauty, pure sexual, nut draining poetry just falls somehow short of properly conveying it. See if you can come up with something better.

"Asslicious" releases from Digital Playground on November 17—but you can check out our exclusive gallery right here and now if you like that sort of thing. All images are courtesy of Digital Playground so try to behave yourselves. Oh, and for safety's sake you might just want to cover your keyboard in plastic wrap before you start. Don't say we didn't warn you.

· Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
· All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Buy "Asslicious" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

And New Sensations has taken it upon themselves to salute this proud fact, rather than ask these amazing young ladies to bite the bullet and go on a diet.

In all likelihood, box cover angel Kristina Rose and her friends Sadie West, Ashli Orion, Virginia Want, Kirra Lynne, Paulina Patron, Leenuh Rae, Rachel Solari, Jordana James, Mackenzee Pierce, Rebecca Lane, and Nikkie Vixon have never read "Fast Food Nation." And while we wouldn't suggest that any of these ladies are particularly "out-of-shape," we're placing bets that most of them have never spent more time on the inside of a gym than it takes to lens a locker room sex scene.

New Sensations gets that. They understand that it's exactly this youthful ignorance and sloth, combined with ultra low fast food prices, that has led to this callipygian paradise. (No, we never get tired of using that adjective.) With over four hours of crazy young girls with fine round bubble butts action, you're bound to find something that you really like. We loved Jordana James, personally.

Now if only some of these ladies would graduate to anal...we could keep our comments section from eviscerating us.

"Young Girls With Big Asses" comes out this week, with or without the Surgeon General's warning on the side of the box. See for yourselves.

New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)

Oh, wait, that's right—she actually might be. But she's not! Which is good, because when she veers into conversations with more depth and political commentary, we tend to get a little lost. Better to leave that to our dear friends over at Wonkette and Daily Kos. For now, we're more than content to treat this stunning blonde sex goddess like the glorious sex object that she is.

Her latest effort, "The Lifestyle," centers around a story porn plot (after all, this is Wicked) featuring a couple desperate to save their fizzled marriage, trying all kinds of inventive ways to return the spark to their sex life. When everything else fails, they finally turn to their friends who can't stop dry humping each other's legs in public. What's the secret to their happy marriage? Wait for it... SWINGING!

Does it all work out? Who cares? Seriously—each scene has at least two girls in it having the time of their young life getting drilled open, all hot and juicy. We gave up on most of the plot lines in these movies a while ago anyway, and we'd venture a guess that we aren't alone in that decision.

Swing masters Voodoo and Nicole Sheridan join in along with Kaylani Lei, Adrianna Nicole, Roxy DeVille, Mackenzee Pierce, Carolyn Reese, Tori Black, and smoldering hot retired redhead Jayme Langford.

Check out our free sneak peek gallery. "The Lifestyle" comes out this week from Wicked Pictures.

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)

That's where this delightful Digital Playground series comes in, exploring the comic (and sometimes tragic) pitfalls of commercial pornography. From the flaking girls to those that don't know the limitations of their own bodies, award winning Director Robby D. spins pure gold from the average situational conflicts that arise daily in the process of transforming a consumer into a director, and a horny slut (by which we mean "girl with no moral hang ups") into a pornographic superstar. They don't all start out like Sasha Grey or Fleshbot Supreme Commandress Stoya, you know! Many (if not most) of the ladies of porn need serious training up to go from amateur to Jenna Haze.

While some critics have already dubbed this installment of "My First Porn" as the "former contract performer" edition—due to hotties Sophia Santi, Adrianna Lynn, and Shay Jordan all starring as leads—we'd like to think of it more as the "fucking hot as motherfucking hell" edition—for pretty much the same reasons.

We don't ask for much, really, and yet somehow the good people over at Digital Playground seem to surprise and amaze us nearly every time. If we have one tiny little grouse, it might be that aside from red delight Kiki (don't even get us started on how incendiary we think she is), most of these girls, including Fleshbot Crush Object Shawna Lenee, aren't really all that "new" to this. Still, all anomalies, anachronisms, and alliteration aside, that knowledge does little to distract from the overall prurient quality of the release. We remained rigidly spellbound throughout... and our guess is that you will too.

"My First Porn 11" releases today from Digital Playground. They own these pix so watch yourself—all rights are reserved, home slice!

· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Aside from the possibility that the kind of up she is talking about getting fucked might not be legal at any age, I have to question the wisdom of putting up a picture of yourself and announcing the day you will be both fucked up and at Disneyland. It seems like a prime way to make sure the Moustapo has its eye peeled for you.

Maybe it is just that I am old and no longer understand the thrills to be had by thumbing one's nose at the Man. Still, happy birthday, Mackenzee—I hope your "small world" doesn't turn out to be a holding cell beneath the Haunted Mansion.

Bio data courtesy of the Internet Adult Film Database

· Internet Adult Film Database (www.iafd.com)
· Mackenzee Pierce at IAFD.com (iafd.com)
· Buy Mackenzee Pierce's movies (gamelink.com)

And what if your secretary was Sasha Grey? Smash Pictures explores this deviously brilliant notion in their latest wonderful sex fantasy "Secretary's Day 3"—and we couldn't be happier to see it on this frisky Monday morning. Seeing one of our all time favorite starlets undressed and bent over a desk, taking a foot of black cock; why, it's the perfect start to the week, and a great beginning for this new release.

Add to that a smoldering hot lesbian scene with drop dead gorgeous muff diver Celeste Star & curvy beauty Georgia (not to mention redophile daydream Nikki Rhodes taking the pounding of her sweet young life with sexy librarian glasses on), and what would generally be a run-of-the-mill, cliché wall-to-wall is elevated into the "must see" category fast! We're pretty sure we've all but demolished the remote to our DVD player at this point, and are still in a state of total disbelief at how well volume 3 came together.

But don't just take our word for it, by all means, check out the preview gallery—which also features Sarah Vandella getting plowed hard and Mackenzee Pierce having a go at the office plumber (played by Eric Everhard).

"Secretary's Day 3" releases this Thursday from Smash Pictures. We can't believe it either!

·

Post volume one, we've learned to skip the subtext and just keep things surface model shallow when it comes to our European smut. Just as a cigar is sometimes just a cigar, most of the time a ripe and freshly fucked bunghole doesn't need a great deal of explanation. You're either totally enthralled or repulsed by seeing a hot ass chick get her back door popped open by a chiseled stud packing the donkey dong. It's more like art appreciation class than rocket science.

Flower Tucci pulls her rosebud so far open that we can practically see her lunch up in her pink tushy hole. Saucy Trina Michaels takes an all out anal assault, then proudly displays the results of her previously puckered pooper. Dirty Whitney Stevens gets split hard in her shitter. Gorgeous sex object Sophie Dee turns her anus into a telescope for your amusement, loving the heavy drilling up her backside before taking an epic load. Add to that a laundry list of all star ass(holes) including Audrey Bitoni, Chayse Evans, Luscious Lopez, Holly West, Mackenzee Pierce, and Jayden Jaymes... and once again we've got a winner.

"Tunnel Butts 2" releases next week, but you can witness the goodness right here and now. Get in where you fit in!

· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

Last we heard from Mr. Tera Patrick (also known as Biohazard frontman Evan Seinfeld), he was showing real promise with his alter ego—Spyder Jones—as he literally fucked his way through a pile of plush porn star pussy, with his wife nowhere in sight, for his latest web venture, Rock Star Pimp (dot com). If memory serves, we tipped our hat to the ink scrawled lothario, not only for winning over the heart of the one of the world's finest porn stars, but also for really bringing the heat with some fine Latina nymphos. This was, by our own standards, quite an admission—given that, despite his mainstream credits and real world acting chops, he essentially started out in the jizz biz as little more than a suitcase pimp. We vouched for Evan, keeping our fingers crossed that he wouldn't make us regret it.

Evan has now officially made good on his promise, releasing the second installment of Rockstar Pimp hotties and effectively lodging himself into the annals of porno history as more than a mere footnote. This time, the Brooklyn import smashes some of Porn Valley's finest hard tail, paying particular attention to their curvy tushes in the process. The results are on par with most of what's released these days—and with the list of willing victims including sultry Dakoda Brookes, Rachel Starr, Nadia Nitro, Jaclyn Case, and Mackenzee Pierce, you can say he has our rapt attention.

We're pretty much out of colorful praise, so we'll just leave you with the wisdom of Homer Simpson, who once extolled the virtues of the musically gifted class from which Evan was spawned when he said, “Rock stars...is there anything that they can't do?”

Apparently not.

· Rock Star Pimp (rockstarpimp.com)
· Teravision (tervavision.com)

Any thought you might have of Leslie as an acceptably hoary fellow, equal parts low grade perv and garrulously avuncular, go out the window when confronted with the films he's created for our fapping pleasure. He's a heavyweight, through and through — and that’s why ths Evil Angel director has continued to impress us with his abilities, year after year. He easily vaults over the gaping maw of the generational gap, using his old school wisdom to see the sweet cracks of the new school properly waxed.

As an example, we invite you to take a look at his latest release, "The Voyeur 35." Leslie lovingly pairs sweet young newcummer Tori Black with about a foot and a half of rock hard black fuckstick, then sits back and watches as she eagerly rearrange her insides with it. While younger directors haplessly grope around in search of a style to knock off or glom onto, navigating their way through the sea of unwritten laws of pornography, Leslie’s steady hand invisibly steers us through all obstacles, allowing us to enjoy the good stuff (and busy our own hands with more important tasks).

Chayse Evans, Rebeca Linares, Mackenzee Pierce, and Melanie Jayne costar with Black, turning in one scintillating performance after another (at least if this gallery is any indication). We're still haven't figured out if the voyeur in question is supposed to be us or Leslie, but one thing is definitely clear –- we just can’t turn our eyes away!

· John Leslie presents: The Voyeur 35 (evilangel.com)

Oh, right, that new Wicked movie: this "Reform School Girls" sees director Mark Stone returning to helm the fourth and most magical installment of the series yet, in which tender young miscreants including Aiden Starr, Kelly Skyline, Aubrey Addams, Cara Dee, Dana DeArmond, Mackenzee Pierce, Sindee Jennings and newcomer Faye Reagan get exactly the kinds of lessons they deserve.

Problem is, these girls never seem to learn their lesson: in fact, it takes more than a few spankings and stern discipline to shape these troubled teens into a state of docility. Luckily their instructors are dedicated and passionate educators who never give up on their students—if only we had teachers like that, we might not have wound up working in the world of vice ourselves. Then again, if we hadn't you might not be sitting here looking at Faye Reagan getting fucked in a plaid skirt, and then where would we all be?

• "Reform School Girls 4" (DVD info @ wickedpictures.com)